Chapter 5

My eyes were glued to my phone, confused and nervous on what to do. I had rarely ever called or texted Cristo before on my own, it felt too weird. Perhaps I was worried about coming off desperate, which was strange seeing as how it was obvious that we both wanted each other. Cristo must be getting tired of always initiating any kind of contact with me.
It was time I took the leap.
My thumb hovered over his caller ID, held back by the pride in my throat. But it really shouldn’t matter anymore. I missed him, and I wanted to see him. I just wanted to see him, maybe hear his voice, nothing more.
He might be busy, my mind suggested.
He would let me know.
What if he’s tired?
Again, he could let me know.
In case he’s in the middle of an important mee–
I let my thumb fall over the call button and watched as my phone buzzed in my hand, ringing him up. My heart sped up in my chest, thinking of how he would sound when he finally picked up. I put the screen to my ear, thinking what if he didn’t pick up at all.
“Lilith?” came his surprised voice.
I lost my breath. “Hi…”
“I didn’t expect you to call at all,” he said. The smile in his voice was so evident that I had to bite down my own smile to keep myself from feeling stupid.
Gosh, I was acting like a lovestruck middle-schooler. I was thirty years old! Almost thirty-one. This was embarrassing…
But I wasn’t going to deny myself of it.
“I figured I could switch things up a bit,” I replied, a little shaky in the tone as I tried to catch my breath. “I, um, just wanted to tell you that I got my work out of the way. You said I should tell you.”
“That’s good to hear, and that too so soon,” he chuckled. “Are you free right now? Do you want to grab some dinner and then head to Jenna’s?”
“I was wondering if we could come back to my place and…be alone.” I suggested quietly.
Cristo hummed in approval, “Sure thing but…are you okay? You sound off.”
“I’m fine,” I said quickly and coughed to clear my throat. “When and where are we meeting?”
“I’ll pick you up?” he suggested. “It’ll be much easier and I wouldn’t want you to get lost.”
“Very thoughtful of you,” I responded with a roll of my eyes.
Cristo scoffed playfully, “I’m just looking out for you!”
“And when have I ever needed to be taken care of?”
“Would be nice if you’d let me,” he said with a strain in his voice. I pulled my lips into a thin line as I realized how hard-headed I sounded. With a deep breath, I shook my head and decided it was okay to let him do some things for me.
“You’re right. I’d appreciate it a lot.”
“Great,” he sounded breathy. “I’ll pick you up around eight-thirty.”
 
The nerves bounced around under my skin as I put on the finishing touches of my make-up. It wasn’t anything too fancy, just light touches of gold and bronze, a pinkish-nude lip, and minimalist jewelry. I slipped into a black satin dress, adjusting the cowl neck as I stepped into a pair of black heels. My hair was loose, with the front half pulled back from my face delicately.
“This should work,” I said softly and twirled around for a look, satisfied.
But would he like it?
Of course he will, I scolded myself. It just didn’t make sense how Cristo and I had already slept multiple times but this was the first time we were seeing each other beyond sex. Even then it wasn’t guaranteed to really get anywhere because of how volatile our situations were. I mean, my situation was all right, but a lot of it relied on Cristo’s success in whatever his plan was.
I really wanted to have a shot at a good relationship with him. I didn’t see why we couldn’t work out outside of the drama that was taking place. Sure, I was difficult and needed help but I was willing to work on it with him and take us far.
My eyes were fixed on myself in the mirror, a strange feeling of familiarity coming over myself as I realized that…the person in the mirror was me. It was who I was and there was really no need to try and be anyone else other than that. My whole life I just looked at myself from outside my body, as another person doing everything and living their life in constant stress and pressure. But that person was me, and I was human. I had issues and feelings and dreams.
The woman in the mirror was me and I didn’t completely dislike her, even if she was still a little incomplete in the making.
In that moment, I finally realized that I’d done enough for myself.
Tears sprung into my eyes as I looked at myself, finally accepting that I had worked hard enough for long enough, and that I deserved to get what I wanted. I wanted love, Cristo, and to move on even if I couldn’t quite let go of the past. I was never what my mother told me, or whatever Mark tried to convince me of. I wasn’t useless, worthless, lazy, or broken. I wasn’t undesirable or unlovable.
Cristo wanted me, and that was obvious. What mattered more was that I saw that I was good enough for myself, and I needn’t be anything else.
It was time for Cristo to know the truth.
 
The diner was definitely a high-end place. Italian, open-roof and canopies of trees with its branches hanging low. Vines and flowers dangled over our heads, moving softly in the breeze as the cool smell of flora surrounded us. The lamps were warm and dim, reminding me of the night Cristo saved me from Rio back in Rome and taking me to the fountain of wishes.
Now that I thought about it, Cristo has been running to my aid since the day I met him at his parent’s party. Saving me from my ex’s mother, the gang in Korea, and then Marcus and Rio. He’s been there for me and I wasn’t ready to accept that I needed somebody sometimes. At the end of the day, he was there when things got rough.
Cristo sat before me in a black turtleneck and jacket, a silver watch on his wrist that glinted in the light. His dark wardrobe brought out his stormy grey eyes that were as bright as lightning before me. His lips were pulled into a soft smile, a somewhat nervous look in his eyes as his thumb ran over his knuckles.
We waited for our drinks in an awkward silence, not knowing how to break the tension. His hand was right there on the table and I wanted to hold it. None of us bothered with taking our phones out, it felt like we had too little time with each other to waste a second elsewhere.
“How’s it going with your matchmaking club?” he asked.
“It’s going well,” I said. “Met another potential member today and extended her an invite. How are things on your end?”
“They’re getting somewhere,” he nodded confidently. “I can’t be completely sure of the outcome but I know it will be better than what it is now.”
“Cristo, um…” I breathed deeply, “do you think we should let each other in on what’s really happening?”
“I wouldn’t want you to worry,” he said sincerely, and my heart fluttered as his hand finally slid under my fingers into a firm grasp. The pad of his thumb rubbed over my fingers, soothing the anxiety in my chest. “You already have enough on your plate.”
“Yeah but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t know.”
“You have anxiety.”
“Well, uh, so do you!”
“I do not,” he deadpanned with a blank look on his face, voice becoming monotone.
I huffed, “Yes, you do.”
“Worryig about you specifically does not mean I have anxiety.”
“Then the same applies here.”
“You worry about me?” he smiled mischievously. I kicked him lightly under the table as he laughed. Our drinks appeared soon enough and I took a small sip of my wine.
“I do worry about you, but not in a way that cripples me,” I admitted. “I would like you to rely on me so I could rely on you, too. I don’t like the way we tiptoe around each other.”
Cristo looked at me sadly, but I could see he understood. “It’s not easy for me to open up.”
“Me neither,” I said firmly. “But I decided I will today, so I need you to try, too.”
He nodded and squeezed my hand lightly, taking a sip of his drink and breathing deeply. “All right. I’m not sure if you know how my parent’s marriage happened, but it involved a contract. Half my father’s assets belong to my grandfather. This wouldn’t be such a huge issue if I’d known about this from the beginning.”
My fingers grew tighter around his hand, not understanding where this was going. “And then?” I pressed on.
“I was young, and I loved my father too much,” he sighed. “When my business started taking off, I dedicated a bit of it to him. He insisted I name it to my mother but you’ve seen how strained our relationship is. I’ll tell you more about it later. But because I put his name on some of the shares in my company, half of it automatically goes to my grandfather. Not just that, but my grandfather had other peopl buy shares in my company through his connections, and I’m at risk of losing all my hard work to him.”
I stared at him in shock, jaw agape. The gears in my mind started to turn as I realized where this was going.
“I didn’t know about my dad’s contract with my grandfather until my mother told me last year,” he continued. “My dad was bound by a nondisclosure agreement which could penalize him should he be responsible for telling me about the contract, or anyone else for that matter. My mother had to sign it, only there was a loophole. The paperwork didn’t name my mother in the contract at all. My grandparents hated her so much that they didn’t care to double check.”
“Cristo…” my voice wavered. “This is awful. Does this mean he can corner you into selling your company to him?”
“He could, but he took a step back when Blair and her family came into the picture,” he explained. “Blair’s grandfather and mine are great friends. The Halls have a much larger influence over our circles and news of this could send Blair into a rampage of destruction against my family. Even a nondisclosure agreement wouldn’t protect them. Sadly, this would involve anyone and everyone related to the Carons, even my aunts, uncles, and cousins who are innocent and this and have been fighitng my grandfather on this for a while now.”
“Jesus…” I sighed. I knew then that Selene wasn’t the real enemy, even if her methods weren’t the greatest. I wasn’t surprised that such an issue existed in Cristo’s family, but his grandfather displayed a whole new level of vegeance. “How are you going to fight this?”
“Well, there are two ways, one of which is easier but could take a lot of time,” he said a little hopefully. “My grandfather will be splitting his assets amongst his living children and grandchildren. Once he passes, all of my assets and my father’s that will be split amongst them will be returned to me.”
“Are you sure your aunts and uncles would be willing to give up a part of such a large inheritance?” I questioned dubiously. “Greed is a powerful thing, Cristo.”
“I have evidence of my father being co-erced into the contract,” he said. “My mother was a sharp woman. She had security accompanying record the whole ordeal. I’ve seen it, and the duress is evident.”
“The law won’t take it seriously unless–”
“There is a valid threat?” he mentioned. “It’s there. He threatened to have my mother forcibly removed from my father’s life, never to be seen again. There was…a grim implication of murder.”
“And you had a lawyer review it?”
“Yes, and it will all work in our favor.”
“So why don’t you just take it to the courts right now?”
Cristo sighed, “I could, but I don’t want my father to spend the last of his days under stress. I want him to rest.”
I remembered John’s pained and scared eyes, his pale face riddled with stress. He wasn’t going anywhere in peace as long as this problem persisted.
“Cristo, I think you’re misunderstanding your father’s wishes,” I reasoned with him. “He doesn’t want to go anywhere unless this is resolved.”
He looked up at me, conflicted and pained, “You think?”
I nodded, “I strongly suggest you get started on the case while your father is still around. It’ll bring him a lot of peace to see you’re making some headway on the matter. Don’t leave him in the dark, Cristo.”
“I’m not too sure, honestly.”
“He’s been with you through everything all this time,” I insisted. “This is the least you can do for him. To let him know you have his back. That you’re taking back what’s rightfully yours. Cristo, he needs you more than ever right now. He needs you by his side, and he needs to be by yours.”
His eyes shone at me, a thin sheen over his waterline that he wiped away quickly with tissues. I could see just how much Cristo cared for his father and his company. In that moment, I knew Cristo had proven me completely wrong in everything I had assumed about him. Cristo was never a pushover, he was just doing what he could to keep what was his under his thumb. John was doing what he could for his happiness.
These men were just making sacrifices for the people they loved, but at the expense of their own peace and security. But they were in a position to not be loved back. At least John was, but I wasn’t going to let Cristo share the same fate.
Him and his father had each other and I needed to save that before I could ever go forward with Cristo.
“Do you know something about my family?” he said curiously. I guess he caught onto my words and figured something out.
I nodded, looking regretful but still determined, “Your father asked me to meet him before I left New York. He…he told me what was going on. That he didn’t want you to share the same fate. Your happiness is more important to him, even more than your mother’s.”
Cristo’s eyes were wide open his shock as he enveloped my hand in his palm, looking more hopeful than ever. “I’ve had so many problems with him because all he thought about was my mother this past year. I didn’t know he felt this way.”
“You should talk to him when you go home,” I pleaded with a reassuring smile. “I know you both will find a way.”
He lifted my hand to his face and squeezed his eyes shut, breathing in deeply out of relief. I could see his face visibly relax as he pressed a kiss to the back of my hand. Nodding slowly, he loosed his shoulders and let go of my hand to take his jacket off. “I feel much better now. Would you like to go on a walk after dinner?”
I smiled at him, “Sure.”
 
We ate light, not really in the mood to eat over how much more we had to share. Our memories from childhood and school, the way we started working, the kind of music we liked. Dating as an adult was so different, but every moment spent with Cristo was wonderful. Granted, we had a habit of bickering playfully with each other but I guessed it was just who we were as people.
Cristo and I agreed it was too cliché to go to the Eiffel tower. I’d seen it so many times that it had lost its charm, so we opted for a nice park.
“Why do we always end up in places like this?” Cristo noted. “Parks and plazas. We never seem to find a better place to talk.”
“It would be a coincidence if we found a pond here,” I murmured and wrapped my jacket around myself tighter. It was a chilly night and the yellow lamps we walked under did little to warm me.
Cristo’s eyes moved around the landscape distractedly, and he stilled in his step. I came to a halt as his arm was around my shoulder. Looking at him, I tried to follow his eyes only to find–
“A pond,” we both groaned. I shook my head, “We had to find one here.”
“Do we walk the other way?”
“Yes, please,” I chuckled and turned away from the path we were taking. We walked in silence, hand in hand as I relished his presence next to me. I’d never felt safer, but I missed his strong arm around my shoulder. And my body. I missed him all over me in general, to be honest.
“Don’t you have any work in the morning?” I inquired.
He nodded, “I have a meeting late in the afternoon. Nothing too important. Although I think I should take you with me to it, seeing as how they’re people you know.”
I smiled at the thought of us going together, “I wouldn’t mind.”
“Perhaps you’re getting tired?” he suggested, “It’s almost midnight. And you said you wanted to talk about something.”
I tensed up and it didn’t go unnoticed. He pulled me a stop, stepping in front of and holding me by the elbows in a gentle embrace. “I know you’ve been meaning to tell me about something, and I won’t force you into opening up before you’re ready.”
“No, I’m ready,” I breathed deeply. “I just…it’s just really, really, um…”
“Should we do this at your place?”
“Yes, okay,” I nodded. He called the car and we rode it back to my hotel in silence. But he held me to his side, his hand stroking my arm in comfort as he pressed his cheek to the top of my head. I sighed deeply, the comfort pressing through my skin in waves and I had to catch myself a few times from falling asleep.
We headed straight for my room, locking the door behind me and setting my purse on the table. Cristo took his shoes and jacket off and made himself comfortable on the couch. I slipped out of my heels and kicked them to the side, moving towards him as he beckoned me over. I sat close to him, gulping softly down my dry throat as my heart pounded against my chest anxiously. Just revisiting the memories made me want to throw up but…he needed to know.
I wanted him to know more than anything.
He straightened up looked at me seriously, eyes filled with care as his hand wrapped around my waist and settled on my hip.
“You know you can trust me with anything, right?” he said softly as he stroked my cheek. “I don’t want you to worry about anything anymore. I’m trying what I can for the both of us.”
“I see that now,” I nodded. “It put me at a lot of ease when you let me in.”
“But will you let me in, too?”
I nodded, closing my eyes as I remembered where it all started. Honestly, I thought I would break down halfway. I thought I would cry, hold myself back out of shame. I did tear up a bit but it was nothing drastic as Cristo heard me out with his hands cradling my face gently. Stroking my cheek with his thumb. He’d pulled me into himself, holding me tightly as I explained my miscarriage and the way my mother treated me. How Mark died and I couldn’t even get my closure or revenge, and the way I threw myself into work to not think about the pain.
“I’m not telling this for you to feel sorry for me,” I warned him as I pushed my palms against his chest to straighten up. I looked into his face with determined eyes, searching for any hint of pity. “I’ve been fine on my own this whole time, okay? I just want you to understand me better and…and why I’m usually so closed off. I want to make this work with you, but it will happen slowly.”
“Yes, all right,” he said softly and leaned in towards my face, pressing his forehead to mine. His breath brushed against my cheek. “I just want you to know that…I’ve always admired you from afar, you know? You’ve always had such a strong personality and it inspired me to stand up for myself. I just didn’t know how much you had to go through to get there.”
“It was difficult,” I huffed. “But…gosh, this will sound so cheesy, but being here right now, with you…I think…”
My mouth went dry as my eyes looked away from his, my voice barely a whisper, “I think it was all worth it, you know?”
Cristo’s breath hitched, his hand wrapping around mine to place my palm against his chest. His heart raced under my hand and I could feel my face redden before him.
“I feel the same, Lilith,” he whispered. “You deserve everything you’ve worked for and…I want to give you much more, if you want me as much as I’ve wanted you all this time.”
I thought my heart would leap right out of my mouth. There was no air to speak through, and I could only nod before his finger hooked under my chin to bring my face to his.
He kissed me, sending tremors across my skin as my pulse fluttered. I lost my breath to his lips, hands patting around to find some grounding. My fingers found their way into his hair, grabbing onto him as a wave of dizziness washed over me. My  blood started to rush faster, my body heating up in places I forgot were possible. I’d been away from Cristo for too long, even if it was for only a week for so. In that moment, memories of my past, wishes for my future, and all thoughts flew out of my head.
Cristo moved forward, pressing into me and I found myself slowly leaning back against the backrest of the couch. His hand found my waist, making me groan as a thumb pressed into my rib. I grabbed onto his head and neck, sighing softly and nipping at his bottom lip. He chuckled into the kiss, slipping his arm around my waist to pull me against his chest.
I was getting desperate for him with no shame as I pressed my tongue against the parting of his lips. He moaned, a low and gentle rumble as he let me slide through. Our tongues skirted around each other shyly, tasting the moments that were passing by too quickly to capture until he pressed his mouth against mine with a growl that had my core throbbing with need for him like never before.
Fuck the bed, I wanted him to take me on the couch.
It seemed like I wasn’t the only one with the same idea as his hands threw pushed away the cushions, his fingers returning to the back of my dress and pulling down the zipper. His lips slid onto my jaw, making me gulp as his hsand snuck into the new opening of my dress to touch my hot skin. I couldn’t be the only one getting underessed her, so I pushed my hands under the hem of his turtle neck and traced up his abdomen. His rock hard abs pressed against my palm that felt entirely too small compared to him, making him groan against my skin. He nipped at my neck, a sensitive spot that I didn’t expect to exist.
“Cristo…” I gasped, “E-easy with the teeth, please.”
“Sorry,” he laughed with a gentle, soothing lick over the spot. “I just can’t help myself around you.”
My hand slid further up his top and he finally got the hint to take it off. I watched as his arms stretched over his head, the cloth sliding off his golden skin slowly to reveal rippling muscle that made my mouth water. I never took the time to fully appreciate how beautiful Cristo was in entirety, but I was glad I still had the oppurtunity. I watched in awe as he threw his shirt away, dark hair now messy and falling over his forehead. It reminded me of the days he would interact with me in the beginning, playful and sweet. He was still that person, of course, only more mature.
I must’ve been staring in awe for too long as he slipped the straps off my shoulder. The cowl neck was already pretty low, but it now hung lower as my breasts threatened to spill out. His eyes rested on my chest, breathless and entranced. I tok the chance to press my hand against his pecs and push him back into the sofa, lifting myself to straddle him. My lips parted in surprise as I settled right onto the bulge of his searing crotch with a gasp. His eyes rolled to the back of his sockets as his head fell back, probably not expecting this like I was. We were both just so turned on for each other and it didn’t seem right to wait any longer.
Cristo’s fingers latched onto my and ass, grabbing a fistful of a cheek as he rolled himself against my throbbing core. A low moan fell from my lips as my shoulders rolled forward, my hands shooting out to grab him by the forearms as the neck of my dress slipped even lower down my chest.
“Take that off, Lilith,” he grunted, and I never worked faster to oblige with anyone else. Within the next second I had slipped the straps down my arms and pulled the dress over my shoulders. It hadn’t even come off my head when I felt his warm, wet mouth wrap around my nipple.
“Oh, fuck…” I gasped, “Cristo, let me at least–Jesus!”
I threw the dress away just in time for him to wrap his around around my waist and pull me in, my tits pressing flush against his face as he pressed my pelvis into his harder. The bulge in his pants curved into my core deliciously, making me gasp wantonly and grind into him faster. My fingers deflty found his belt and took it off, tugging at the hem of his jeans to take them off. He chuckled against my chest and I found myself in the air the next second, my back meeting a cold wall and his mouth against mine once more in a kiss so passionate, I could see stars behind my eyelids. There was a whole volcano erupting in my my ribcage as my bare breasts pressed against his chest. He groaned as my taut and aroused nipples brushed against his skin, making me throb harder between my thighs.
I needed him inside me so badly, it hurt.
The ground felt like it shifted as Cristo moved us away from the wall. Soon enough, I fell back into the soft sheets. Cristo towered over me, his eyes running over my bare body with awe and admiration. I felt embarrassed, a blush creeping up my cheeks as my arms came around my chest instinctively. He smiled at me gently, leaning down to grab my wrists and pin them above my head as he buried his face into my neck.
With a huff, my feet trailed up his legs and found the waistband of his pants, tugging at it to pull them down. He finally freed one of my wrists as he reached down to unbotton and push his pants down. My legs hooked behind his thighs, pulling him into me as his member strained agianst his boxers and through the fabric of my panties. It was searing hot, hard as a rock and waiting to be released. My walls begged to take him in, and my toe found his hip once more as I hooked it into his boxers and pushed them down.
“Eager, aren’t we?”
“You’re not any less.”
“Touche.”
I didn’t anticipate his fingers hooking into my panties to drag them away and dip in between my folds, pressing against my clit and eliciting a scream from so deep in my throat, I shocked myself.
“I’ve never felt you get this wet before,” he purred into my ear, lips dragging down my skin slowly as he paused at my chest to suck on my tits. I writhed around as his fingers played with my clit, massaging my swollen, throbbing vulva and teasing around the hole.
“Please, Cristo…” I begged breathily. “Don’t do that to me, please.”
“But I like it when you beg for me,” he growled as his mouth traveled past my stomach. I realized with a gargled gasp what he was doing as his hands grabbed my thighs to spread them apart and push them up. His tongue pushed against my pussy in a flash and I was screaming bloody murder as sparks of pleasure shot up all over my body. He wasn’t having any of my thrashing around as he held my hips down and took my whole core into his mouth, sucking and licking away, pushing his tongue into my walls as I rocked against his face.
My fingers grabbed his hair, clawing at his scalp as his loving tongue assaulted my core. The pleasure built up right in my hole, growing bigger and bigger until he sucked at my clit and I snapped, screaming into the air as I orgasmed right onto his face.
“Oh my fucking gosh!” I gasped in shock, realizing that I had squirted onto him. My hands flew to cover my face that grew redder than it already was. Cristo only laughed as he grabbed my thighs and pulled me closer once again and kissed up my navel, licking up the valley of my breast and pulling my hands away to kiss me deeply. I melted into his affection, but I still felt embarrassed over what had happened.
“I must say, I’m quite flattered,” he grunted into my mouth. I moaned softly, whacking his chest with a weak fist. “I really am. I didn’t know you wanted me so badly.”
“I still do,” I muttered, annoyed. “Now would you do me a solid and stick your dick inside me?”
Cristo’s shoulders shook as he laughed heartily into the crook of my neck, “God, you’re so cute.”
I cried out loud as his shaft pounded into my damp and throbbing core out of nowhere, knocking all the air out of me as the wet slapping of our skin resounded in the air. My mouth was agape, hand flailing behind me to grip a pillow as he grabbed hold of my waist and hosited himself over me, ramming himself into my throbbing walls that enveloped him with desperation so overhwleming, he cried out loudly.
“You’re so fucking tight…”
“Sorry,” I gasped.
“It’s fine.”
With his hand under my thigh, he hoisted my knee over his shoulder to get more access to my sex, continuing to pound into me with a ferocity in his eyes that melted me into the sheets. His gaze held me hostage, his hands pinning me into the sheets as his body caged my existed to him. There was no letting go.
I knew there was no way I could want anyone else beside him.