Chapter 15

Hannah

As I jerked my shirt off, I struggled to hold back the scream dying to burst from my throat. I was so angry at myself for almost crying in front of Nikolai, but what made me more furious were his words.
Initially, I had been uncomfortable parading in front Nikolai in new clothes like a little kid on the first day of school. I thought maybe he’d wanted to make sure it was up to his standards since he was paying for it and I’d be standing next to him as his fake girlfriend.
What had pleasantly surprised me were the looks of appreciation I received as I came out in each subsequent outfit. I could tell by the way his eyes skated down my body, lingering on different areas, that he liked what he was seeing. It made my chest swell with pride and my stomach fill with butterflies. He’d been looking at me like a man looks at a woman he was attracted to, which filled me with baffled awe.
When he got so angry about my last outfit, I had multiple reactions. Initially, I thought he was implying I looked ridiculous trying to be sexy and was filled with humiliation. To take a risk and wear something so different from what I normally wear took a lot of effort, and to have him respond so poorly made me sick to my stomach. After a moment’s consideration, I flirted with the idea that he might be jealous, but that seemed so far-fetched and ridiculous, I quickly discarded it.
The last reaction was total fury and frustration. I’d been dressing the way I had all these years because I thought if I dressed as asexually as possible, it would turn Jeff off. As a result, I’d never been able to develop an appreciation for clothes, accessories, or makeup because I had never felt safe experimenting with it. Unfortunately, not only did my strategy not work as far as Jeff was concerned, but I’d obviously gotten too accustomed to my default wardrobe. When I wanted to actually dress with style, I was hopeless at choosing clothes, constantly second guessing my instincts. This was the first time, with Katya’s help, I’d felt truly confident and attractive—and Nikolai had ruined.
There was a brief knock on the door, so I absently said, "Come in," assuming it was Katya. God knew, she’d seen me in less than a bra and pants today, so her entering while I was half dressed didn't faze me like it had the first twenty times she had done it. Katya wasn’t big on boundaries.
Except it wasn't Katya.
When I looked up, I was staring into Nikolai's shocked face in the open doorway of the dressing room. He quickly stepped in and shut the door. Since I was only wearing my bra, I shrieked and threw my arms in an x across exposed torso.
"What are you doing in here? This is the ladies dressing room!" I yelped, looking around for my trusty sweatshirt. These dressing rooms were actually quite large, so my clothes were on a chair across from where I was standing. Behind Nikolai.
Nikolai’s expression didn’t change, but his eyes hotly wandered all over the territory I was trying to keep hidden with my forearms. I cleared my throat in a passive aggressive attempt to shame him out of staring at me, but he barely noticed. He leaned his back against the door as he continued to stare.
"What the hell do you want? Actually, no, get out of here!" I couldn't push him out because my hands were glued to my opposite shoulders, so I made nudging gestures with my elbows, which I realized belatedly were just showcasing my jiggling cleavage. Nikolai’s expression indicated his full appreciation of my movements. “Nikolai!”
His eyes reluctantly moved back to my face, and a look of chagrin and resolution came over his face. He sighed deeply. "I need to talk to you for a second."
"Um, can you hand me my sweatshirt, please?" I asked, while jerking my chin behind him to indicate where it was. He looked behind him and snagged the sweatshirt, but then did nothing to hand it over.
"Well?" I prodded.
He half smiled and said, "I'm deciding if I really want you to put it back on. I’m feeling kind of fond of the view. Actually, this is partially why I'm here to talk to you."
I frowned. "What do you mean?" I asked, momentarily forgetting I was half naked.
He sighed again, folding his arms over his chest, my sweatshirt still balled in his fist. "Look, Hannah, I realize I don't have the right to tell you what the fuck to wear. It was fucked up of me to get so bent out of shape about your clothes." His voice lowered as he added, "I was just shocked."
Nikolai then lowered his arms and stepped closer to me so there was no more than a foot of space between us. I could feel the heat coming off his body as he towered over me. I couldn’t resist taking a deep breath and inhaling his intoxicating scent that was probably no more than the soap he’d used that morning when he’d showered.
"Shocked by what?" I asked, still taken aback at his closeness.
Nikolai continued to drill me with his arctic colored eyes. Then he slowly lifted his hand and ran the back of his fingers against my collarbone and up the side of my throat. He then moved hand up to cradle my jaw and rub his thumb over my lips. “By this,” he murmured.
I’d never been touched so intimately in my life, and it was making my stomach jump and my heart pound like a jack hammer in my chest. Nikolai’s hot blue stare was putting me in a trance. My hands fell to my sides, wordlessly giving him access to any other places he might want to touch.
Nikolai’s gaze moved down, taking in my breasts that were straining against my inexpensive, but lacy, white bra. My underwear was the only place I could express any femininity without fear, so I tended to indulge myself with frilly undergarments. Unfortunately, this meant my nipples were not only identifiably hard, but also visible behind the lace.
With one hand still stationed at my jaw, Nikolai slowly moved two rough knuckles to my left breast and rubbed them against my hardened nipple. I felt a groan trying to claw its way out of my throat but was too embarrassed to completely let go. He reached up and slowly slid the strap off my left shoulder, pulling the lacy cup down under my full breast. It felt like I hadn’t taken a breath in five minutes. His fingertips lightly stroking my upper breast was like being jolted with electricity. When the rough pad of his thumb rubbed and then started pulling on my stiff nipple, I wanted to jump out of my skin, it felt so good.
"What are you doing?" I gasped, my voice sounding like I had swallowed glass. I didn’t know why I asked that. I knew what he was doing. He was touching me more than anyone had ever gotten the opportunity to before.
He slowly lifted his gaze from where he was lightly rubbing and pinching my nipple to my face. His jaw was tight, and there were beads of sweat gathering on his forehead. He leaned his head in and put his mouth right by my ear, both of his hands moving from their previous locations to rest lightly at my waist, moving his thumbs over my hip bones.
"I needed to see more. I needed to see more than anyone else would, no matter what you were wearing. Now, if you wear any of the clothes you bought, I'm still the only one who's seen your body like this.” His hotly spoken words sent a blast of hotness through my already overheated body. I could feel his breath against the side of my neck, and as his hands started to tighten on my hips.
"Wh-why is that important?" I gasped, my hands sliding up his chest, reveling in the hardness of his chest under his shirt.
Nikolai pulled back slightly, looking me straight in the eye. He took one hand from my hip and used it to grip my jaw. "Because it's mine."
"That sounds a little archaic,” I gulped and croaked out, trying desperately not to succumb to the eroticism of his claim. My abandoned nipples were practically begging for his touch, and I felt a pounding between my legs that made me want to start grinding against him in order to relieve it.
He tightened his hands on my hips, slowly pulling me against his hard body. My exposed breast rubbed against the rough material of his shirt, exciting me further.
"I don't care." Then his hard mouth slammed down on mine.