Chapter 67

Nikolai

I was in a daze as I listened to Ivan, Drago, and various other men who formerly worked for my father discuss who the man driving the car could have been, and where he and my father were likely to go. I didn’t know why they were speaking in Russian; the only people who didn’t speak it were Hannah and her sister, and they looked like they could give a fuck about our conversation. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if she never wanted to see me again after this fucking debacle.
Hannah. I still couldn’t believe the power she had over me, how she seemed to calm me down. I had been standing there thinking about my fucking father. How did we let him get away? Every time I thought of his smug, deranged face, I felt my blood pressure spike. I had reached in my pocket for my phone—I had needed a fight. Badly. I had needed to get this fucking aggression out of my system, so I could focus on finding Yuri and ending this shit.
I had already yanked my phone out and pulled up Becker’s number when I heard hysterical laughing. I looked over to Hannah and her sister, who were both hunched over and wiping tears from their faces. What the fuck? I had looked around the room and noted that every expression was mirroring mine. The girls stopped for a moment, took in our looks of astonishment and started laughing harder.
Against my will, I found myself relaxing because Hannah looked so fucking happy and adorable giggling with her sister. How could she be so happy? I simply stared at her. Laughing after what I had put her and her sister through—probably the greatest trauma of their lives. Unbelievable.
I had lived my life using different strategies to deal with anger and trauma—all of them destructive in varying ways. But simply looking at Hannah’s laughing face was enough to lower my blood pressure. It was a reaction I found exhilarating, curious, and alarming.
I was confronted with the same dilemma I had been pondering since the night of the party. What the fuck did I do about this situation with Hannah?
As I stood there, half listening to Drago and his crew, and identifying all the reasons our relationship was a bad idea, I came to a startling conclusion. I realized there was no way I’d be able to give her up. As much as I hated the danger being in my life put her in, I was equally unable to let her go. Whenever I thought of breaking up with her, I also thought about her dating someone else—some other asshole touching her, laughing with her—and it made me fucking homicidal. My feelings went beyond the jealousy and possessiveness that consumed me like a virus. I liked being with her; she made me lighten the fuck up. She was funny and fun, smart and sexy. Not only did I not want to break up with her, there was a part of me that never wanted her out of my sight.
Did I love her? Was that possible? Fuck, I didn’t know.
Fifteen minutes ago, I had been ready to dial up Jack and go pound the fuck out of some asshole in order to calm the fuck down. Now, as I looked over at Hannah, who was now talking to Katya, I realized my need for violence had greatly diminished and the need for her, her calming presence, had increased. God, I felt like such a pussy, but I didn’t even give a shit.
It was with those thoughts in mind that I found myself walking over to Hannah, who had just walked back in the room with a plate of food for Emmy. It would be interesting to see Emmy try to eat with one hand.
I grabbed Hannah and pulled her to me. I needed to be alone with her.
Before I could drag Hannah off, Katya spoke, “I think everyone should stay here tonight so we can all recover and figure out what’s going on. We have plenty of room.” Even though she was talking to everyone, her attention was mostly focused on Hannah and her sister, with her gaze darting periodically over to where Drago stood staring at her impassively.
Hannah and her sister smiled at each other at Katya’s announcement. “Yeah, we already talked about it. We’re staying, even if it’s a school night,” Hannah replied and nudged Emmy with her elbow. Emmy chuckled softly in response. We all looked at them like they were crazy. Again.
“Do you think Mom would be okay if we stayed over here?” Emmy asked somewhat hopefully as her hand clutched at the back of Ivan’s shirt. I saw Ivan grimace at her sustained contact. He looked unsettled but didn’t tell the girl she had to let go. Not that she would have. Emmy’s fist was almost white as it gripped the black fabric.
I knew Hannah was biting her lip in consideration of Emmy’s question, but I found it sexy as fuck and wanted to replace her teeth with my own. Suddenly the need to be alone with her became pressing.
“I think so. I mean, we usually never go anywhere, so I’d think she’d be thrilled if she thought we’d developed some kind of social life,” Hannah reasoned. Emmy nodded her head in agreement. “I’ll text and see what she says.”
“We’re not going to school tomorrow. I think we all deserve a day off, especially you,” I said, jerking my head in Emmy’s direction. Hannah nodded in agreement, though I doubt she was planning to share our plans with her mother. I watched her rapidly tap out a text to her mother on her ancient as fuck phone. I really needed to get her a new one.
Her mother apparently responded quickly, requiring Hannah to send a follow-up text. She had this adorable frown on her face as she typed whatever lie she was telling her mom to gain her permission to sleep over.
Finally, Hannah looked up. “Okay, I made up a story about a slumber party, which I guess is kind of true,” she said as she looked around at our assorted group of high school students and members of the Russian mob. Ivan rolled his eyes, but Drago smirked at her humor.
All I knew was I would have the whole night with Hannah, and I could fuck her without worrying about her mom busting into the room and beating me with a broom or some shit.