160
“Wake up, cuore Mio. I need to go.” Jake’s voice rouses me from my sleep. I’m sprawled completely naked over the bed on nothing but a sheet with a fur throw over me. He exhausted me to the point I finally passed out; I have no idea how long I’ve been asleep, and now he is going. I open my eyes in protest, looking at him like a child who’s about to cry.
“I know, baby. It’s after two; I’m late as it is because of this. I should have gone already. Daniel’s already downstairs in the car.” He kisses me, leaning over me on the bed. He’s fully dressed in a dark suit and shirt open at the collar, and he smells like he always does, with aftershave and his special scent. He kisses me longingly, his hand pulling up to tangle in my hair, his body gently resting on mine. Suddenly, I want to cling to him and not let him go, emotions getting the better of me and my anxiety peaking.
He’s going to see her; he’s going away from New York to discuss his future with Marissa’s baby, and I don’t want it to be happening.
“Nora will come in and change the bed for you, Bambina, and she’ll make you dinner around five. Make sure you eat, okay?” He lingers over me, a look of reluctance in his eyes. “I’ll be back before you know it. Don’t go to work tomorrow; stay here and take some you time. I’ll call you, okay?”
“Okay, and okay,” I smile emptily, wrapping my arms around his neck one last time, trying to push down all my turmoil. He stands up and waves, then grabs my foot and strokes down my sole gently, causing me to flinch and giggle. He pauses as though he’s reluctant to leave, then turns and goes. I think maybe he’s feeling it too - that trepidation at leaving me, at going to see her. I hold it together and let him go.
* * *
Nora left around seven to go home to her cats; I finally spent some time getting to know her while she cooked dinner. Jake finally calls me around midnight, just as he’s getting to his hotel, and he seems a million miles away. I miss him even more as I’m lying in this huge bed in his apartment all alone. The security staff usually stay in the outer rooms and corridors outside Jake’s main apartment, so they rarely come inside unless needed. So, here I am, all on my lonesome in this huge, modern apartment which lacks any of my home comforts.
“This hotel sucks,” he sighs down the line, sounding much huskier than his normal voice. He sounds tired and agitated and as unhappy as I feel.
“Are you slumming it in something less than five stars?” I ask, giggling, knowing that would never happen.
“It’s a shitty Carrero hotel,” he returns, his voice betraying the fact he’s smiling. Jake has always tried to avoid staying in his own hotels for some reason unknown to me, which I always found hilarious. With all those trips we took, he always had me book us into anything but a Carrero hotel.
“Why on earth are you staying in one of those?” I ask, laughing at the irony.
“Seems my stand-in PA is a bitch,” he laughs. I know Margo is still on staff, filling in for our disappearing acts. She asked that she be allowed to work on, even when I returned, finding the life of a retiree unfulfilling. So technically, he now has two PAs. Margo has been given an office all her own elsewhere on the sixty-fifth floor, with regular office hours, which seems to suit her much better.
“She must be mad at you to stick you like that,” I giggle, turning onto my back in bed and twirling my hair above my head.
“Yeah, maybe replacing her with a younger PA who I frequently bend over my desk put her nose out of joint.”
I eyeroll and ignore his comments about sex. It’s always sex with him.
“I’ve never been in a Carrero hotel,” I exclaim. It’s true; in all the time I’ve worked there, I have never been to one. Ironic really. I’ve never even laid eyes on one. I would never have gone to one without Jake, as their prices are above anything I could ever have afforded; they are in the top tier of luxury accommodations.
“You’re not missing much. Think ridiculously expensive, old-school Hollywood glamour … nothing modern. Much like my father and his Godfather tastes.” He sighs, and I get it right away. The hotels are his father’s babies. The style and service are something he established long before Jake was even a twinkle in his eye. So if they ooze Giovanni Carrero, I can see why Jake avoids them. He tried last year to have them updated, but his father always came down hard on the styling of his chain.
“Can’t be all bad. I mean, I bet the staff is working extra hard to make you happy … being the heir of the empire and all,” I giggle at his defeated tone.
“Bambina, there is only so much ass-kissing I can take. Besides, they all dress like maître d’s from Disneyland. My father has no clue at all.” He goes silent for a moment, and I’m hit hard with a tug of longing. I want him here next to me already. I don’t like this at all.
“I wish you had come with me,” he croons softly, almost reading my mind. “I understand why, Emma, but I hate this. I want you here, lying next to me, not just a voice on the phone.”
“I don’t want to be a part of this, not yet,” I admit honestly. “I’m not okay with it yet. I need time,” I sigh, waiting for the start of an argument. I’ve never said that before.
“That makes two of us, Bella.” He sighs too, seeming so extremely far away from me. “Do you think you'll start coming with me sometime?” he asks cautiously.
“I don’t know.” It’s doubtful there’s enough time before the birth for me to get over it, but he doesn’t need to know that.
“I understand. It just sucks that I miss you this much already. This big old hotel room and huge bed aren’t appealing without you in it.”
“I miss you too.” That horrid tug inside makes me regret staying here, but I know that going would have caused different pain. I didn’t want to go and then feel angry at him the whole time we were in LA. I don’t want to address those feelings toward him yet for all of this.
“Daniel’s giving me the evil eye, so I better go. Go to sleep. I’m going to get a late dinner; I hate airplane food. Then I’ll be in bed dreaming of you soon enough and pretend like you’re actually here.”
“I love you,” I whisper sadly, not wanting him to hang up, aching for him to be in bed beside me so I can trace that flawless face and snuggle in close.
“I love you way more,” he soothes with a hint of a smile in his voice. “Sweet dreams, Bambina. Dream of a big hunky Italian with a naughty streak stripping you naked.”
“Most definitely!” I grin my body heating for his touch.
“Goodnight, girlfriend,” he adds sweetly.
“Goodnight, boyfriend,” I laugh at him and his cuteness. With that, he hangs up and leaves me feeling lonely, his apartment seeming much emptier now. I move down under the sheets to his side of the bed, disappointed at the lack of his smell on the fresh linens. I get up and go to the hamper, looking for any of his clothes and find none. Nora is an efficient housekeeper, too efficient, it would seem. I climb back into bed, annoyed and emotional all at once. I force myself to lie down and close my eyes, hoping that morning will come quickly and it will be the day he’s coming home to me.
What the hell is the matter with you, Emma? You had a whole life before him. A self-reliant, independent life. Get a grip.
* * *
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