96
He’s at my mouth again, kissing me hard, and I can taste myself on him. I know it should repulse me, but it doesn’t because it’s his mouth, and what it just did to me was mind-blowing. He is on me once more and feeding a fire inside, taking my mind and pushing all sense away. He pushes the remainder of his clothes down with one hand while the other cups my face, keeping my eyes on his.
Oh god, he’s naked.
He presses against me, and his manhood is … Oh god.
I groan at the contact. I lurch back against the floor in ecstasy at the touch of warm skin against mine, the smooth caress over my most sensitive parts, the sensation overwhelming. I’m so responsive to his body. It’s taking me like I’m a virginal teen with zero experience.
I hear a rip of foil, a condom packet; I guess he keeps them handy. He moves away for a moment, then back quickly, and in one slow, easing movement, he slides inside me, softly, gently pushing in, as I exhale with pleasure and grip his shoulders. It overwhelms me entirely as I’m stretched and filled deliciously in sheer ecstasy. I gasp and grab his upper arms, grinding into him, hungering for more. The feeling is unlike any sex I have ever had before, and I’m overtaken with insanity for him. He begins to move slowly, bracing himself over me on his muscular arms, caging me in as I grab and pull him down. The motion sends extreme waves of pleasure and aches through me.
Jake starts to find his rhythm. His mouth is next to my ear, breathing heavily as he experiences insane pleasure. It’s too much that builds up inside me again as he’s thrusting slowly and surely, his lips on my neck. He shifts to pin my hands down again, so his torso presses against my body possessively.
It’s actually happening. Jake’s making love to me. We’re having sex!
Slow and sensual, then building into a faster, harder frenzy with a rhythmic stroke. He knows exactly what he’s doing and is barely breaking a sweat while I claw, grip, and try to hold myself together from the rippling waves that are trying to unravel me. I’m full of him, stretched to capacity, and yearning. I’m climbing higher and higher while my body heats, trembles, and tingles crawl up my skin.
Oh my god, oh my god.
It’s all I can chant, not sure if it’s internal or out loud, as the lapping waves of extreme pleasure wash over me with every thrust. I’m moaning and groaning, oblivious to my own sounds, and caught in the best moment of my life.
It feels beyond good. It feels like everything I ever wanted it to feel like and could only imagine it would be. The heaviness of that reality slaps me in the face so suddenly, like an ice bucket of water, that I start trying to fight for control against the waves running through me as fear begins to seep in ever so coldly.
What are we doing? We shouldn’t be doing this. We can’t.
I struggle with my mind, my biggest nemesis, unaware that my body responds to the doubts pushing to the forefront and pulling away from him. Reality claws at me like a ravaged animal, forcing my mind back to attention. Terror takes hold, and I know I’m losing the battle with myself.
“Stop overthinking, Emma,” he grunts into my ear hoarsely. His breath runs over my throat; he kisses my naked shoulder, biting and nipping. I turn my face to his and breathe him in, nuzzling his hair and trying to get back to the lost abandon of moments ago, to get immersed in how good this feels. How good he feels. Desperate to join him again.
He changes his angle and thrusts harder. I moan out and arch against him as a spasm of pleasure courses through me unexpectedly. I can’t hold on for much longer. He’s managed to pull me back so effortlessly, and I pant through a cry. I’ve never had sex like this. I’ve never felt this kind of all-embodying sensation. It’s terrifying yet amazing.
What about when he stops? What happens to me once I’m done being ravaged by my boss?
The tears sting my eyes unexpectedly, and I try to bite them back, emotional, stupid thoughts kicking in to remind me what Jake is like with sex.
What about Marissa? What does she mean to him?
I grasp his shoulders, turning my face away, afraid he’ll sense the fear and doubt. Overwhelmed again, I’m fighting the building tension within my body as it nears a greater height. I’m still clinging to him, still pushing against him despite my emotional turmoil, which only confuses me more. My body wants something my brain does not, and all I can do is move in motion with his thrusts, groaning and clawing to make him push harder. Submissive to what he’s doing.
I’m so confused.
“Stop it, Emma,” he pleads. He grabs my chin in one hand and forces me back toward his assault of kisses.
Stop what?
I’m doing what he’s making me do, my body moving in time to his, held captive by his mouth and hands. Climbing again, only so intensely that I know I’m going to rip apart. I don’t know how to react, how to stop it. I don’t want to stop it. But I have to. I’m scared that it’ll overwhelm me. Marissa is invading my mind. What we’re doing … doubt searing through me. It’s too much; it’s too intense, writhing under him, trying to keep control, but he grabs my wrists roughly as I try to recoil, holding them down to the floor while making my senses reel back to him. He stops fucking me.
“I’ll stop, Emma. Do you want me to stop?” His tone is serious and dark, but his eyes are wary and begging me. He drags my focus back in from all the messy overthinking that is pushing in, and I shake my head. I don’t want to face the after; it can’t stop. I don’t want him to stop.
“Don’t,” I pant, scared of the intensity in his look, of just how overcome with lust he is and how desirable he is to me right now. He visibly relaxes and starts moving hard and fast inside me as though he knows I may change my mind, pulling my thighs up for leverage and holding me more firmly with every thrust. His desire drowns out sense, and Jake goes for it.
His kiss is my savior from myself, while he pounds me like he just can’t stop. Every part of him is against me, his mouth on mine again, and I’m lost as his tongue caresses my own. I relinquish all control. That last piece of him entwined with me, drowning out the last of the voices in my head.
It sends me off the edge, and I erupt so suddenly; I can’t even prepare as it’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I cry out, screaming his name, digging my nails into his shoulder blades while spasms explode inside and out, causing a million sensations to ignite at once. My brain spins and jerks in ecstasy. It’s devastating. It’s amazing. And overwhelming, all at once, as my thighs clench around his waist forcefully. He thrusts hard into me once more, heightening my completion, causing another volcano eruption of stars which have me spiraling out of control, up and over the crashing waves, free-falling, crying out and clutching for dear life as he holds me.
Spent as soon as the shudders recede, Jake stills within me, falling on top of me, panting as much as I am, so I guess he found his climax inside of me while I was mid-orgasm.
“Emma, merda,” he breathes and groans into my neck, lying heavily over me after his cumming. I lay sated and breathless as the world slows around me and my senses start to calm. My body is tingling all over, and I’m exhausted, suddenly emotional, and all too aware as sense loses its lust fog. Self-consciousness rolls over me, and I suddenly see what we just did, which shakes me before kicking me in the gut with a rude awakening.
I’m semi-naked and entwined with him on the floor of our suite. This is more than an ‘oh shit’ moment. That’s a massive understatement. This is more of an ‘I’ve lost my fucking mind’ moment.
I shrug out from under him, instantly mortified, cold, terrified, ashamed, unsure. He rolls away reluctantly, kicking his pants and underwear from around his ankles. I start to tremble as this hits me properly, and I scan his naked body in a panic.
What have we done?
My face starts burning, and my legs turn to Jell-O. I can’t breathe as anxiety-tears my mind open. My body is still basking in the aftereffects, yet regret is also swooping in. I try to get away quickly, but he hauls me back to him against his naked body, and I stiffen all over.
“Emma, don’t,” he warns with an unreadable tone.
“Don’t what?” I sound small and terrified, and I hate that voice; it’s betraying the overwhelming hysteria growing up inside of me like a tornado about to engulf my entire world.
“Don’t close that door, not after this.” He stretches out beside me on the floor, voice low and raw, but I want to die with the shame at what I have just allowed him to do with me. I’m no better than all the whores he beds.
I can’t. I can’t do this. What the hell have I done? I’ve just destroyed my relationship with Jake and my entire career in one fell swoop. I’ve just opened Pandora’s box on a whole host of chaos I can’t deal with.
My mind is running a hundred miles an hour. I’m seeing everything that we are and that I’ve worked for crumbling away to dust. He can do casual sex and brush off stuff like this, but me? He’s ruined me for anyone else ever!!! I’ve just wholly surrendered what was left of my heart to the one man who would never want it, and I can’t go back.
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