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My body is temporarily shocked by the fear, and I can’t move. His rough hands painfully and cruelly grope my breasts from behind as he keeps me pinned against the wall, immobile.
My mind races back to the desolate horror of my teenage assault and how he exerted power over me in Chicago. My body is trembling involuntarily, and my mind is constantly racing to the miracle inside me and my maternal need to protect it against all odds. This isn’t just about me anymore; I need to find the strength to save my child from what I know is coming.
He will take what I denied him a few months ago and back when I was a teenager; payback for Jake for beating him. He will ravage my body sexually in ways that will devastate my mind emotionally, but I can’t give in to this. I must search deep inside myself for safety with my baby, wrap my body around us, lock us both in, and let my mind detach. I can’t fight someone like him, I could try, but I know he would beat my child from within me, and it matters more than the damage he could ever inflict on me.
“Remember me, darlin’? I didn’t forget about you, my little whore. You and I have some catching up to do.” He snarls against my ear, pushing a hard-erect lump into
my ass and roughs up against me, straining through his rough jeans. His rancid breath is heating my face and making my skin crawl in disgust. My heart pounds through my chest, and all I can do is squeeze my eyes shut, trying to will Jake to know I’m not okay, for some sixth sense to make him feel my need for him, mentally calling for help, attempting to keep my body from unraveling at the panic building inside of me. All rational thought is fleeting away, and I know I am completely and helplessly about to be abused. Ray succeeding where previously he failed.
I know it’s pointless trying to call for help telepathically. Jake flew to Manhattan. He’s an hour by plane, four hours by car, and not due home until the morning. Mathews is on some goose chase for keys, which could be just as long. I am alone, but Ray knows he doesn’t need long to inflict lasting damage on my soul. He only needs a few minutes to subdue me, even if Mathews is heading back. This will take me away from Jake, remove my ability to handle a man’s touch, and inevitably take my life from me. I try to flex my body, to get some purchase but the biting grip and heavy pressure collapsing me into the door takes my breath away. If I fight against him, he will push me down with more aggression, and I can’t let him hurt my child.
My baby girl! I know it! My little Mia, maybe … Mommy will protect you, my sweetheart. We’ll hang on in here. Just listen to my voice; we’re going to be okay.
She is the one thing I must protect no matter what he does to me.
“What do you want?” My voice is small and shaking as his hand uncovers my mouth while he changes his grip position, my palms are flattened to the cold door in front of me, and I’m trying my hardest to claw back some sense of calm to my fevered mind. I’m so terrified I can barely breathe, but strength is chanting through my fear-addled brain that my baby needs me to stay calm.
We’re going to be okay, baby girl.
“Your rich prick boyfriend and I have some unfinished business, and man, I have been patient, waiting and watching. Did you feel me, Emma? In your house? Watching you from afar? Did you feel me near you and sense the way my cock hardened for you anytime you passed me?” The smell of his breath on my face makes me choke as his dirty mouth comes to my cheek. I try to recoil from him, but the biting grip on the back of my neck pushes my face hard against the door. His disgusting slimy tongue makes its way up my cheek, and his hot sour breath assaults my senses. I gag as a huge bolt of nausea lifts in my stomach, lurching repeatedly.
I gulp down my tears, fighting back the cold wave of terror. Then it clicks in my brain; he was the man watching me from the shadows, the one whose eyes I could sense on me occasionally! The one lingering around that I’d noticed the last couple of days. He’d been here, among the workmen, all along. He’s probably the one they trusted to return the keys to me. My gut tried to warn me, tried to tell me that something was off about him. If only I’d voiced something to Jake at the time, Ray would’ve been found out.
Jake, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. My baby … our baby. I’m sorry.
“If you hurt me, he’ll kill you. He won’t just come after you, Ray. He will fucking kill you, slowly and painfully, and enjoy every fucking second.” I snarl between clenched teeth willing myself to sound braver than I feel. I am trying so hard to get my body to draw in some strength to stand stiffly instead of the mush of Jell-O I am right now. I know I shouldn’t be antagonizing him, but my inner fight is finding her feet at the thought of those clear green eyes, his sexy natural smile, and our beautiful baby girl. My inner strength urging me to protect them both.
Mommy’s got this, okay, baby girl? I’ve got this.
“Baby, I want him to know what I do, to see what I’ve done to you. I want to know the agony he’s in when he’s looking for you and knowing I have you, and I am fucking every part of you until you bleed.” His raspy threat ends with a hard bite on my ear, sting, and warmth oozes instantly down my neck. I scream in pain impulsively. The sound muffled as his fingers bite back at my mouth, crushing me to silence again.
My inner rage kicks out, and I try to elbow him, my leg thrusting back in sheer defiant hate, only meeting with defensive blows. The pain, kick-starting that inner teen rage, lashing back to fight and to be free, never to be his victim again.
He laughs, grabbing the back of my skull and, with alarming force, pulls back my head, smashing me forward into the door with a bone-crushing thud to my forehead that draws instant nausea up my throat and blood into my mouth as my teeth pierce into my tongue, my nose collides with the door and heated liquid runs down over my mouth.
The sensation of darkness hits me before any real pain does, and I feel overwhelming dizziness as my body buckles in front of him. My bones melt instantly, and I have no idea what is happening to me. He’s knocked me senseless but not completely out, and he slips me over his shoulder limply and effortlessly.
I’m fighting with my consciousness to wake up and failing. There’s a dark haziness over me, I know what is happening, but I cannot do anything about it. My body temporarily paralyzed, and my willingness to fight locked inside my head. It feels like I’m dreaming, and all pain and fear have slipped aside. I can hear harsh whimpering mewls coming from somewhere and realize it’s my own voice. My inability to fight back and the fear inside me blow up dramatically, but I have no strength or courage to do anything.
He is carrying me toward the stairs, effortlessly taking me from this house with an aura of satisfaction; my limbs are heavy, and I have a slow, tingling sensation coming into my fingertips. I’m sure I will throw up, the beginning of retches and jerks of a stomach getting ready to empty itself. I start tingling and aching in my legs as I realize my body is coming out of the shock that his assault placed it in. I’m slowly, so very painfully slowly, able to move my fingers, fighting the huge weight of my limbs to lift them.
I whimper and reach out, trying weakly to grope at the closest banister to me as we pass. Every jolt and nudge is painful in my abdomen as my body bounces on hard shoulders with every step downward. I’m trying to hold on, but my weak fingers slide with no grip, still not completely responsive. I slump and try to inhale slowly, trying to regain strength in my body as the mental fog in my brain starts to clear. My head aches heavily as it begins to come through.
His pace is slow and steady. He’s enjoying the build-up to taking me from my home, getting a kick out of his dominance. His cruel, vindictive game of building my fear, knowing I’m helpless. He planned this, thought about every step, and now he’s relishing every second. His body odor and sweat wake my senses up, gagging and retching. The undeniably strong stench of a man used to physical work and lack of hygiene.
“I’ve seen how weak pretty boy is over you. I’m going to enjoy sending him the videos of what I’m repeatedly doing to you. I’m going to enjoy this much more than you are, sweetheart! I have so many inventive ways to fuck you. I just hope you live long enough to torture him into insanity.” He laughs again, almost to himself, his comments more of a smug self-assurance in an evil sadistic way than a confession of his plans for me. It makes me realize how deeply he has been fantasizing about this, thinking it through, every step planned for precision at how to get back at Jake and me, serving punishment on a man he’s no match for and a girl who evaded his demands twice.
He’s taking me somewhere … somewhere he’s prepared with cameras and God knows what else. He intends to rape, torture, and probably beat me; violence has always been his turn-on, and he wants to inflict pain upon Jake in the most demonic way possible. He’s seen Jake's love for me, and he will use it as a weapon knowing Jake can never physically touch him. He’s a coward and a twisted son of a bitch, a man who can only dominate women that are no match for him.
Fight for God’s sake! Get up and move, Emma!
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