Chapter 21
**Sara**
I slumped onto my balcony chair, the weight of the day's events pressing down on me like a ton of bricks. The cool evening air brushed against my skin, offering a small respite from the chaos swirling in my mind. I gazed out at the city skyline, the twinkling lights a stark contrast to the darkness I felt inside.
"Get a grip, Sara," I muttered to myself, running a hand through my hair. "You're young, you're single, and you're... completely losing your mind over a guy you can't have."
With a sigh, I pulled out my phone and stared at it for a moment. Then, in a burst of what I could only describe as temporary insanity, I opened the app store and searched for dating apps.
"This is ridiculous," I said aloud as I scrolled through the options. "I'm not desperate. I'm just... expanding my horizons. Yeah, that's it."
I settled on one that looked promising—or at least less likely to attract complete weirdos—and hit download. As I waited for it to install, I wondered what Jessica would say if she could see me now. It would probably be something along the lines of, "Ooh, looking for a new professor to seduce?"
I groaned at the thought. "Shut up, imaginary Jessica," I grumbled.
The app finished installing, and I tapped the icon with more force than necessary. "Alright, let's do this," I said, psyching myself up as if I was about to run a marathon instead of creating a dating profile.
I started filling out the basic information. Name: Sara. Age: 23. Occupation: Student. I hesitated at the 'About Me' section. What was I supposed to say? 'Emotionally unavailable MBA student with a penchant for sleeping with her professors'? Yeah, that'd go over well.
Instead, I went with something generic. "Ambitious student looking for someone to share laughs and good conversation with." It wasn't exactly poetry, but it would do.
Next came the dreaded photo selection. I scrolled through my camera roll, cringing at most of the options. "Why do I always look like I'm having a stroke in photos?" I wondered aloud, rejecting picture after picture.
Finally, I settled on a few that were... passable. One of me at the beach (because apparently, that's a dating app requirement), one at a friend's wedding (to show I clean up nice), and one of me laughing at a cafe (to prove I have a sense of humor, I guess).
"There," I said, hitting 'Save Profile' with a sense of finality. "Now to wait for Prince Charming to come sweeping in on his white horse. Or, you know, some guy named Chad who's really into CrossFit and protein shakes."
I set my phone down and leaned back in my chair, wondering if I'd made a huge mistake. But before I could spiral into a pit of self-doubt, my phone buzzed.
"That was fast," I muttered, picking it up. My eyes widened as I saw the notification. "A match? Already?"
My heart was pounding, and I opened the app. There, staring back at me, was a photo of a guy who looked... well, not terrible. Dark hair, a nice smile, and a bio that didn't immediately make me want to hurl my phone off the balcony.
"James, 28, Software Engineer," I read aloud. "Loves dogs, hiking, and bad puns. Looking for someone to share adventures with." I snorted. "Well, at least he's not posing shirtless in a gym mirror."
My finger hovered over the 'Message' button. Was I really going to do this? Start a conversation with a complete stranger in an attempt to... what? Get over Tom? Prove to myself that I could have a normal relationship?
"Oh, what the hell," I said, tapping the button before I could talk myself out. "Here goes nothing."
I stared at the blank message field, my mind suddenly blank. What was I supposed to say? 'Hi' seemed too boring, and a cheesy pickup line felt too desperate. I chewed on my lip, trying to come up with something clever and witty.
Just as I was about to type something like, "Hey there! How's it going?" my phone buzzed. I opened James's message and nearly choked on my own spit.
James: So, do you come here often, or just when you're looking for trouble? Because I'd love to be the trouble you're looking for.
James' message stared back at me, the winking emoji almost mocking me. I bit my lip, feeling a strange mix of excitement and nerves. "Alright, Sara," I muttered, "if he wants trouble, let's give him trouble."
Me: Trouble's my middle name. You think you can handle it?
My heart raced as I hit send. A few seconds later, my phone buzzed with his reply.
James: Oh, I like a challenge. What kind of trouble are we talking about?
Me: The kind that starts with a whisper in your ear and ends with... well, I'll let you imagine that part.
James: I have a pretty wild imagination.
Me: Let's just say you'd better be ready for a long night. Do you think you can keep up?
James: Try me. What would you do if I were there right now?
Me: I'd start by tracing my fingers down your chest... slowly. Maybe even with my nails.
James: And then?
Me: And then I'd whisper all the things I want to do to you. Make you shiver.
James: God, you're good at this. Keep going.
Me: I'd kiss your neck, move lower... see how far I can go before you beg for more.
James: You're making it hard to concentrate here.
Me: Good. I'd want all your attention on me anyway.
James: Trust me, you've got it. What else?
Me: Let's just say you'll be breathless and wanting more by the time I'm done.
James: Damn, Sara. You've got me hooked. Your turn to beg, though – what would you want me to do to you?
Me: I'd want you to make me forget everything else... just focus on how good it feels when you're touching me.
James: Forgetting everything else sounds like a plan. So, how do we make this happen for real?
My fingers hovered over the keyboard. Was I really ready to meet this guy? But before I could answer, an image of Tom flashed in my mind – his smirk, his touch, the way he made me feel alive and electrified.
I shook my head and refocused on the screen.
Me: Maybe one day. For now, let's keep it fun here.
James: Fair enough... so what would you want right now if I were there?
I tried to push Tom out of my mind and concentrate on James' question.
Me: Right now? I'd want your hands on me... everywhere.
James: That's easy to arrange in our imagination...
I smiled at his eagerness. Still, Tom's face lingered in my thoughts like an unwanted guest at a party.
Me: Imagination is all we've got for now... so use it well.
James: I'm picturing us tangled up together... hands exploring every inch...
Me: Mmm, sounds nice. Where would those hands go first?
James: Everywhere they shouldn't. Starting with your hips, then slowly moving up...
I bit my lip, feeling a mix of excitement and guilt. Was this helping me get over Tom, or just making things worse?
Me: And then?
James: Then I'd kiss you, hard. Make you forget everything else.
Me: You're good with words, James. But actions speak louder, don't they?
James: Why don't we find out? Want to meet up?
My heart skipped a beat. Meet up? Already? I hesitated, my fingers hovering over the keyboard.
Me: For...?
James: For whatever you want. Coffee, drinks... or something more fun.
Me: Wow, straight to the point, huh?
James: Life's too short for games. So what do you say? Do you want to have some fun?
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