Chapter 36
**Sara**
As Professor Blackwood - Tom - began his lecture, I tried to focus on his words, but my mind kept wandering to places it definitely shouldn't. Whenever he turned to write on the board, I stared at his broad shoulders, remembering how they felt under my fingertips. When he ran a hand through his hair, I thought about how soft it had been when I'd gripped it in the heat of passion.
"Get a grip, Sara," I muttered, shaking my head slightly.
"What was that?" Jessica whispered, giving me a curious look.
"Nothing," I hissed back, my cheeks burning. "Just... taking notes."
I forced myself to focus on the lecture, scribbling down every word Tom said. But even as I wrote, my traitorous mind kept replaying snippets of our night together. The way he'd kissed me, the feeling of his hands on my body, the sound of his voice whispering my name...
"Ms. Parker?"
I snapped back to reality, my eyes wide as I realized Tom was looking right at me. "Y-yes, Professor?"
"Could you please explain the concept I just outlined?"
Panic rose in my chest as I realized I hadn't heard a word he'd said for the past five minutes. "I... uh..."
Tom raised an eyebrow, a hint of a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "Perhaps you'd like to stay after class for a more... in-depth explanation?"
The double entendre wasn't lost, and I felt my face flush even deeper. "No, thank you, Professor. I'll... review my notes later."
As soon as class ended, I practically sprinted for the door, desperate to escape the suffocating tension in the room. Jessica caught up with me in the hallway, linking her arm through mine.
"So, pub night tonight?" she asked, grinning. "I think we both could use a drink after that snooze-fest of a lecture."
I snorted. "Yeah, right. So you can ditch me for Brad or whatever flavor of the week you're into now? No thanks."
Jessica gasped in mock offense. "I would never!"
I rolled my eyes at Jessica's feigned innocence. "Oh, please. You did the same thing twice already, leaving me high and dry while you went off with Brad. Remember?"
Jessica had the decency to look a little sheepish. "Okay, okay, fair point. But come on, it'll be fun! We can dance, have a few drinks, maybe meet some cute guys..."
"And then what? You'll disappear with Brad or whoever catches your eye, and I'll end up alone. Again. And knowing my luck, I'll probably run into Tom for the third time in a row. I swear, it's like the universe is conspiring against me."
Jessica's eyes lit up. "Or maybe it's a sign! Come on, Sara. You and Tom clearly have chemistry. Why not just... go for it?"
I stared at her, slack-jawed. "Are you seriously suggesting I hook up with my professor?"
"Well, yeah!" Jessica grinned unabashedly. "I mean, you've already done it once. And from what you've told me, it was pretty mind-blowing. Why not have another go?"
"Because it's wrong!" I hissed, glancing around to make sure no one was listening. "He's my professor now. It's unethical."
Jessica rolled her eyes. "Please. You're both consenting adults. And it's not like he's married or anything. Live a little! Have a nice fuck, and release all that tension."
I felt my face heat up at her blunt words. "Jessica!"
"What? Don't tell me you haven't thought about it. I've seen the way you look at him during lectures. It's like you want to climb him like a tree."
I groaned, burying my face in my hands. "Is it that obvious?"
"Only to someone who knows you as well as I do," Jessica said, patting my shoulder. "So why not just go for it? You're single, he's single..."
"It's not that simple," I mumbled. "I... I want more than just a hookup, you know? After everything that happened with Matt, I want something real—true love, as cheesy as that sounds."
"True love? With Professor Hottie? Come on, Sara. He's like, what, ten years older than us?"
"Eight," I corrected automatically, then winced when I realized how quickly I'd known that.
"My point exactly," Jessica said triumphantly. "He's probably not looking for anything serious with a student. But that doesn't mean you can't have some fun!"
I shook my head, trying to ignore the little voice in the back of my mind that was agreeing with Jessica. "No. It's not right. And besides, even if I wanted to - which I don't! - how would that even work? 'Oh, hey Professor Blackwood, want to bend me over your desk after class?'"
Jessica burst out laughing. "Now that's an image! But seriously, you don't have to be that forward. Just... flirt a little. See where it goes."
"Absolutely not," I said firmly, even as my traitorous mind conjured up images of Tom's strong hands gripping my hips, his lips trailing down my neck... I shook my head, trying to banish the thoughts. "It's not happening, Jess. End of discussion."
"Fine, fine," Jessica said, holding up her hands in surrender. "But don't come crying to me when you're all sexually frustrated and can't focus on your studies."
"I think I'll manage. Now, can we please talk about something else? Anything else?"
Jessica grinned wickedly. "Sure. How about we discuss the size of Professor Blackwood's... lecture notes?"
I groaned, shoving her playfully. "You're impossible!"
As we walked to our next class, I thought about Jessica's words. The idea of being with Tom again was tempting—I couldn't deny that—but I knew it would only lead to more complications. I had to focus on my studies and building a future for myself. And as much as my body might want Tom, my heart wasn't ready for another casual fling.
Still, as we settled into our seats for the next lecture, I wondered what might have been if things had been different. If Tom hadn't been my professor, if we'd met under different circumstances, would we have had a chance at something real?
I shook my head, forcing the thoughts away. It didn't matter. This was reality, and in fact, Tom was off-limits. No matter how much I might wish otherwise.
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