Chapter 292
**Sara**
Emily appeared from around the corner, balancing two steaming mugs. "Here you go, you big baby." She handed me one of the mugs, the ceramic warm against my palms.
"See? This is why Emily's my favorite." I took a sip, letting out an exaggerated moan of contentment. "Someone in this apartment understands the sacred bonds of friendship."
"Oh, please." Jessica rolled her eyes. "Emily just enables your laziness."
"At least she brings me coffee." I stuck my tongue out. "Unlike some people who claim to be my best friend but won't even share their precious caffeine."
"Fine!" Jessica thrust her mug toward me, coffee sloshing dangerously close to the rim. "Here, take it. You're my best friend; take this offering of friendship and caffeine."
"Nope, too late." I clutched Emily's coffee closer. "The position of favorite has been filled. Applications are closed."
"You're ridiculous." Jessica pulled her mug back, trying to hide her smile. "And ungrateful. I've seen you through drunk karaoke nights and terrible breakups, but one coffee from Emily, and suddenly she's your new bestie?"
"The coffee gods have spoken." I raised my mug in Emily's direction. "All hail the new queen of friendship."
Emily curtsied, nearly spilling her own coffee in the process. "I accept this noble title with great honor and responsibility."
"This is mutiny." Jessica flopped onto the couch beside me. "A coup staged with coffee and betrayal."
"Should've thought about that before you made me walk all the way to the kitchen."
"It's literally ten feet away!"
"Ten feet too many." I took another sip. "Emily understands my needs."
"Emily's just trying to get out of dish duty tonight."
"Am not!" Emily protested. "Okay, maybe a little. But also because I'm clearly the superior friend."
Jessica's jaw dropped in mock outrage. "Excuse me? Who told you that you're the superior friend? I've been here since day one, through thick and thin, through horrible fashion choices and even worse dating decisions."
"Hey!" I protested. "My fashion choices weren't that bad."
"The lime green jumpsuit of 2021 would like a word." Jessica pointed her coffee mug at me accusingly.
"That was one time!"
"One time too many." Emily chimed in. "But I still supported you through it. Like a true superior friend would."
Jessica jumped up from the couch, nearly sloshing coffee everywhere. "Oh, that's it. You don't get to waltz in here with your coffee diplomacy and steal my best friend status. I am declaring war!"
"Guys, relax." I tried to intervene, fighting back laughter. "We're not having a war."
"Oh, we absolutely are." Jessica's eyes gleamed with mischief. "This is now officially the Great Friend War. Choose your sides wisely."
"I choose coffee." I raised Emily's perfectly prepared cup. "Coffee never lets me down."
"Traitor!" Jessica gasped. "After everything we've been through? The karaoke disasters? The midnight ice cream runs? That time, we had to rescue your phone from the fountain?"
"To be fair, you're the one who threw it in there." Emily pointed out.
"Details, details." Jessica waved her hand dismissively. "The point is, I demand a proper friend-off to determine superiority once and for all."
"A friend-off?" I couldn't help but laugh at her serious expression. "What does that even mean?"
"It means war, Sara. War!" Jessica struck a dramatic pose. "And may the best friend win."
"You're both ridiculous." I sank deeper into the couch, wondering how this evening had devolved so quickly. "Can't we just drink our coffee in peace?"
"Peace was never an option." Jessica declared, still standing like she was posing for a Revolutionary War painting. "Emily has forced my hand with her coffee-based treachery."
"All I did was make coffee!" Emily protested from her perch on the armchair.
"Exactly!" Jessica pointed accusingly. "You're trying to buy Sara's friendship with caffeine. Well, two can play that game. I'm ordering pizza!"
"That's not even the same thing-"
"Pizza AND wings!" Jessica whipped out her phone. "Extra ranch dressing. Beat that, coffee girl."
I couldn't help but grin as my two friends squared off across the living room. "You know this is insane, right?"
"Insanely brilliant." Jessica was already typing furiously on her phone. "Emily might have won the coffee battle, but I will win the war!"
"What are you even ordering?" I peered over her shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of her screen.
"Everything." Her fingers flew across the screen. "Two large pizzas - one pepperoni and mushroom, and one supreme. Wings - both spicy and honey BBQ. Garlic knots because, duh. And..." She paused for dramatic effect. "Chocolate lava cakes."
"Good lord." Emily's eyes widened. "Are you feeding an army?"
"I'm feeding friendship." Jessica hit the order button with a flourish. "Beat that, coffee queen."
I drained the last of my coffee, setting the empty mug on the table. "You know what? I'm living my best life right now. Coffee delivery, incoming pizza feast - I must be the luckiest woman alive."
"Um, excuse me?" Jessica planted her hands on her hips. "You mean you're lucky to have such amazing friends."
"Nope." I stretched out on the couch, claiming more territory. "Just generally lucky. The universe loves me."
Emily snorted. "The universe, huh? Pretty sure the universe didn't just order you thirty dollars worth of pizza."
"The universe worked through Jessica to provide sustenance." I waved my hand mystically. "I am blessed by the cosmic forces."
"Cosmic forces my ass." Jessica threw a throw pillow at my head. "We're the ones enabling your lazy butt."
I caught the pillow and hugged it. "The universe guided you both to me."
"Traitor!" They shouted in unison.
"After everything we've done for you!" Jessica clutched her chest. "The late-night ice cream runs, the emergency outfit swaps, the-"
"The coffee!" Emily interjected.
"Yes, the coffee!" Jessica pointed at Emily. "See? We're united against your ingratitude."
"Oh, so now you're friends again?" I raised an eyebrow. "What happened to the Great Friend War?"
"Temporarily suspended to deal with your cosmic betrayal." Jessica flopped down beside me. "We can resume hostilities after we teach you proper friendship appreciation."
"I appreciate you both!" I protested. "I just also appreciate my excellent luck."
"Luck had nothing to do with it." Emily perched on the arm of the couch. "We chose to adopt your disaster self out of the goodness of our hearts."
"Rude!" I threw the pillow back at her. "I'm a delight."
"A delight who can't even get her own coffee." Jessica poked my side.
"Why should I when the universe provides such wonderful coffee-bearing friends?"
They exchanged looks before both grabbing pillows.
"No, wait-" I tried to scramble away, but they were faster.
The doorbell rang just as they were about to launch their attack.
"Saved by the pizza!" I jumped up, using Jessica as a human shield. "See? Lucky!"
"This isn't over." Jessica pointed at me as she went to get the door. "The universe can't protect you forever."
I grinned at them both. "Watch me."
Jessica kicked the door wider with her foot, balancing three pizza boxes, a bag of wings, and what looked like enough sides to feed a small army. "Little help here? Or are you waiting for the universe to levitate this food to the coffee table?"
"The universe works in mysterious ways." I jumped up anyway, grabbing the wing containers before they could slide off her stack. "But I suppose I can assist."
"How generous of you." Emily cleared space on the coffee table, shoving aside magazines and remote controls. "Your kindness knows no bounds."
"I try." I popped open the wing container, the smell of sauce making my mouth water. "Oh god, these smell amazing."
Jessica arranged the pizzas in a semi-circle. "Behold, the feast of friendship! Which, by the way, you're totally ungrateful for."
"I'm grateful!" I snagged a slice of pepperoni and mushroom. "See? Watch me express gratitude through aggressive eating."
"Chew with your mouth closed, you animal." Emily tossed me a napkin. "Some of us have standards."
"Standards are overrated." Jessica had already demolished half a slice. "Food this good deserves ugly eating."
I reached for a wing. "Pretty sure that's not a thing."
"Everything's a thing if you say it with enough confidence." Jessica grabbed the ranch dressing. "Like how you think the universe is your personal assistant."
"Hey, the universe brought me you two, didn't it?"
"Oh no." Emily pointed a garlic knot at me. "Don't try to sweet talk your way out of this."
"Can't hear you over how delicious this pizza is." I took another massive bite.
"Real mature." Jessica rolled her eyes, but I caught her smile. "Pass the wings before I have to crawl over there."
"The universe says no."
"The universe can kiss my-"
"Wings!" Emily interrupted, snatching the container and passing it over. "Here. Before you two start another war."
We fell into a comfortable silence, broken only by the sounds of contentment and the occasional fight over the last garlic knot. The pizza disappeared slice by slice, and the wing pile dwindled to a sad collection of bones.
"Okay." I leaned back, patting my stomach. "I take it back. You're both better than the universe."
"Finally!" Jessica threw her hands up. "She admits it!"
"Only took three pizzas and two pounds of wings." Emily wiped her hands on a napkin. "Should we get this in writing?"
"Nope, moment's passed." I reached for the lava cake. "Back to cosmic forces."
Their synchronized groans of frustration were worth it. I scraped the last bit of chocolate from my lava cake container, savoring every molecule of sugary goodness.
"Oh shit." Jessica sat up suddenly, pizza coma forgotten. "I totally spaced on telling you something."
"If this is about that guy from the bar who keeps drunk-texting you poetry, I don't want to hear it." I licked the chocolate off my spoon.
"No, though, remind me to tell you about his latest sonnet later." She shifted on the couch. "Matt showed up here this morning."
My spoon clattered against the empty container. "What?"
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