Chapter 299
**Sara**
I ended the call, a stupid grin plastered across my face. The couch cushion shifted beside me, and I nearly jumped out of my skin.
"Jesus!" I clutched my chest, turning to find Jessica perched right next to me, wearing the most insufferable smirk I'd ever seen. "How long have you been sitting there?"
"Long enough to hear all about drop bears and heart-shaped pancakes." She wiggled her eyebrows. "And something about bending over knees?"
Heat rushed to my face. "Were you eavesdropping this entire time?"
"Eavesdropping implies secrecy. I was right here, drinking my coffee, enjoying the free entertainment." She took a deliberately loud sip from her mug. "You're the one who got lost in professor-land and forgot the rest of the world existed."
"I did not-"
"Oh, Tom," she mimicked in a breathy voice, "just come back safe. That's all I need."
"I do not sound like that!"
"You kind of do," Emily called from the kitchen. "It's disgustingly cute."
"Both of you can shut up." I grabbed a throw pillow and buried my face in it. "I hate everything."
"Aww, is someone embarrassed about their billionaire boyfriend?" Jessica poked my side. "The one they're totally not falling for?"
I swatted her hand away. "He's not my boyfriend."
"Right. Just your former professor who makes you heart-shaped pancakes and threatens to spank you over the phone."
"That's not- he wasn't-" I sputtered, then caught her gleeful expression. "Stop looking at me like that!"
"Like what? Like you're completely whipped for a hot, rich guy who's clearly crazy about you?" She grinned. "Because honey, that ship has sailed, crashed into the harbor, and sunk to the bottom of the ocean."
"The only thing sinking is my dignity." I groaned into the pillow. "And my ability to ever look either of you in the eye again."
I buried my face deeper into the pillow as Jessica continued her assault. "So when's the wedding? Can I be maid of honor? I promise to only tell three embarrassing stories during my speech."
"There is no wedding." My voice came out muffled through the fabric. "Or speech. Or maid of honor."
"Fine, fine. But when you two finally admit you're dating-"
I lifted my head to glare at her. "We're not-"
"Please." She waved her hand dismissively. "The man makes you heart-shaped pancakes. Heart. Shaped. Pancakes. That's like, three steps past dating and halfway to picking out china patterns."
"The batter slipped!"
"Three times?" Jessica arched an eyebrow. "What kind of butter-fingered billionaire professor can't make round pancakes?"
"The kind who..." I trailed off, remembering how Tom's eyes crinkled at the corners when he'd presented the misshapen breakfast. "Oh god."
"There it is!" Jessica bounced on the couch. "That dopey smile! You're totally gone for him!"
"I am not dopey!" I threw the pillow at her head. "And stop analyzing my facial expressions!"
"Should I analyze your phone call instead? Because that was some grade-A flirting I just witnessed."
"It was a normal conversation."
"Normal? You were practically purring into the phone."
"I do not purr!"
"Oh Tom," she mock-swooned, "just come back safe, that's all I need. Except maybe some pancakes. And spankings."
I lunged for another pillow. "That's it. You're dead."
Jessica danced away, still in full dramatic mode. "My darling professor, how ever shall I survive without your perfectly organized wine collection and- oof!"
The pillow caught her square in the face, cutting off her performance.
"Ha!" I pointed triumphantly. "That's what you get for- no, wait, put that down!"
She'd grabbed the fallen pillow, a wicked gleam in her eye. "What's wrong, Sara? Afraid of a little pillow fight? Should I call your professor to protect you?"
"You are the actual worst." I dove behind the couch as the pillow sailed over my head. "I'm finding new friends!"
"Too late!" Jessica cackled. "You're stuck with me! Now come out and face your punishment like a woman in love!"
"I'm not in love!"
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks!"
"Stop quoting Shakespeare at me!"
"Never! Now surrender and admit you're dating him!"
I peeked over the couch. "Over my dead body."
"That can be arranged." She brandished another pillow. "Any last words?"
"Yeah." I grinned. "Your aim sucks."
Jessica hurled the pillow with all her might, but it sailed past my head and smacked against the wall with a soft thump.
"Ha! See? You couldn't hit the broad side of a-" Another pillow caught me mid-taunt, right in the mouth.
"You were saying?" Jessica bounced on her toes, looking far too pleased with herself.
I spat out a few feathers. "That was a lucky shot."
"Lucky? I'll show you lucky-" She reached for another pillow.
"For God's sake!" Emily marched into the living room, hands on her hips. "What are you two, twelve? There are actual adults in this building trying to exist without pillow warfare breaking out."
"She started it!" Jessica and I pointed at each other simultaneously.
Emily pinched the bridge of her nose. "I swear, it's like babysitting toddlers. Very large, supposedly educated toddlers."
"She was making fun of my phone call!" I protested.
"Because you were being disgustingly cute!" Jessica shot back.
"Was not!"
"Was, too!"
"Oh my god." Emily threw her hands up. "Can we please act like the grown women we allegedly are? With jobs and degrees and everything?"
I straightened my blouse, trying to look dignified despite my disheveled hair. "I am perfectly capable of being mature."
"Says the woman hiding behind the couch," Jessica snorted.
"It's called tactical positioning!"
Emily cleared her throat. "Ladies."
"Fine." Jessica flopped onto the couch. "I'll be good. But only because she's already admitted defeat by hiding."
"I did not admit defeat! I was employing advanced guerrilla warfare techniques!"
"Advanced what now?" Emily's lips twitched. "Is that what they're teaching in MBA programs these days?"
"It's a perfectly valid strategy," I muttered, finally emerging from my cover. "Sun Tzu would approve."
"I'm sure he wrote extensively about pillow fights." Emily rolled her eyes. "Now, can we please clean up this mess before the living room starts looking like a goose exploded here?"
"Fine." I sighed, gathering scattered pillows. "But I maintain this was justifiable self-defense against character assassination."
Jessica plucked a feather from my hair. "It looked more like denial-induced violence."
"Keep talking, and there might be more violence." I stuffed a cushion back into place with perhaps more force than necessary.
"Ooh, threats!" Jessica swept feathers into a pile. "Someone's been taking lessons from their spanking-obsessed professor."
I whirled around, brandishing a throw pillow. "One more word about spanking, and I swear-"
"Children!" Emily clapped her hands. "Focus. Clean now, threaten later."
"You're no fun." Jessica pouted but resumed cleaning. "I bet Tom would let us have pillow fights."
I lobbed a handful of feathers at her head. "Stop bringing him into everything!"
We collapsed onto the couch, breathless from our impromptu battle. Emily perched on the armchair, shaking her head at our antics while picking stray feathers off her sweater.
"Okay, ground rules." I pointed at Jessica. "You are never, ever allowed to listen to my phone conversations again. Ever."
Jessica's eyes lit up with mischief. "Or what? You'll throw more pillows at me?"
I narrowed my eyes. "No, I'll murder you in your sleep and make it look like an accident."
"Ooh, someone's getting feisty!" Jessica bounced on the couch, her grin widening. "I know exactly what you need to do. I triple dog dare you to call Professor Thick Dick right now and tell him you're madly in love with him and want to date his stupidly rich ass."
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