Ignoring it is

“No, what the fuck?” she shouted and jerked away from him.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no” she shouted as she walked back and forth in front of the kneeling Vansh.

“You can’t want to marry, no, no, that’s not possible.” she said, held his hands in hers and stood him up. She looked straight in his eyes and in as much determination she could said, “You are in a delusion. You don’t love me, you can’t love me. It’s been what? 10 days since we started going out? Give me 2 months and I know that you’ll run away from me and never want me back. Because look at you and then look at me. You are handsome, tall, rich, confident, funny, romantic, blah, blah, blah smart and you are running a whole fucking company on your own.

Now look at me. I agree that I look that, but that is literally all I can do. I’m the good for nothing daughter of a great lawyer and a doctor. I don’t know what I want; I have no passion, no drive, nothing. I don’t even have friends. You are literally my first date ever and you won’t last, not more than two months”

He opened his mouth to say something but she raised her finger, silencing him.

“And don’t even tell me the whole crap of ‘I am different, we are different, we are going to last’ or ‘people just didn’t see your worth’ because they did. People did see my worth, but I was worth not more than a paisa, and who cares about one paisa in this inflated nation? No one. None at all. That is why I don’t have friends, everyone I ever spoke found me great at first, but slowly as the days passed they realized how shitty I was and left.

I can’t say ‘yes’ to you because I know you are going to leave me in a month or so and I can’t punish someone so good with the guilt of breaking of promise just because I was greedy. I’m doing you a favour with this ‘no’ because trust me, you will not want me in a month’s time” she finished, breathing heavily.

“But..” he started but before he could find words to say what he wanted to, she interrupted, “No buts”

“I ranted a lot right? You must be confused. Let me clear it up for you, just answer my questions” she said and asked, “How long has it been since we meet?”

“10 days” he answered automatically.

“How many days did I say you’ll leave me in?”

“Two months” he replied.

“Oh, you were actually listening” she chuckled, a chuckle of a person who is about to break down.

“When did you realize you love ‘me’?” she asked.

“A week ago, when I proposed to promise you but you…” he broke off when she started speaking.

“How many days are pending for the deadline?” she asked quickly.

“Deadline? 50?” he asked nervously, not quite sure what exactly she meant by the deadline.

“Correct. So propose to me if, a huge fat if, this ‘love’ of yours passes the deadline. And I’m really sorry if I’m hurting your feelings but I have to be truthful. I can’t sell you a trash product for the price of a diamond. You are amazing, honestly, but I just don’t deserve you.

I’m a good lay, but I’m not lady one loves.

I’ll have you for as long as you allow me but I cannot get your hopes high, when I know they are going to crash.

You don’t love me.

You can’t love me.

Because I don’t, not really”

They stared at each other, her eyes blank and his watery. The room was dipped in absolute silence, which broke only when he took a sharp breath.

“I don’t know what to say” he said meekly.

“You don’t have to say anything. I’ve given you the freedom to leave whenever you want, but my rant must have been a little deep for you. Think about it and if you decide you don’t want it, I will understand. You are out of your mind right now, but you are smart; you’ll realize how unworthy I am sooner or later. I’ll be happy if it’s later, but you’ll be happy if it’s sooner’ and I promise I’ll understand, I promise” she said and looked away from him.

When she heard his retreating footsteps and the slam of the door, she dropped down to her knees.

The blank face fell off and a teary face showed. A drop of crystal fell from her eye and she whispered, “Why am I like that?”

“Why?

Why do I have to overthink? Why couldn’t I simply say ‘yes’? Big deal if we broke up after I said ‘yes’, nobody would care. But no, I had to do that. I just had to rant.

I really like ranting, don’t I? I’m fucking ranting even now, when I’m fucking alone. I hate that I’m alone. Why am I alone?”

She wiped at her tears sadly and looked up to ask, “Did he listen to what I said? Does he care or is he tired of me already? Will he say ‘goodbye’ tomorrow or will he simply ignore? Ignoring will be better, no? No mess.

But god! Let me keep this man for at least two months? Please. I know all I have to offer is my body, so I’ll research every position I can and let him do me any way he wants.”

She stood up and walked to the mirror, her eyes a little red. She looked at herself, up and down, back and front.

“I have a good body, right? I know that I can’t make him love me but I can seduce him for a while.
Yes. I can and I will. I will seduce him into being mine. But what if he isn’t into hourglass?”

She talked to herself, about things incomprehensible, overthought everything and forced herself to cry herself to sleep. She was happy when she didn’t think about it, when she ignored and loneliness and the ‘forever thing’ but a little thought and all her walls are crashed.

The next day she woke up extra early, freshened up and spent twice as much time on her looks.

She chose a formal grey body-con dress and applied a coat of bold red on her plump lips. She had decided that she would try seducing him, because if he wanted to marry her just yesterday, he still likes her body and wants to fuck her.

She arrived in the building ten minutes early and entered his office as fast as she could. The office was empty and her table was set on the left side of the room. A pile of envelopes, files and notes were spread on it, probably from yesterday afternoon, she thought and went to order them.

She did her work twice as quick and when it was time for his arrival, she went to his table and laid on it. She arched her back and posed seductively. Her hands in her hair and her eyes filled with desire, her dress pulled up to her thighs and her legs crossed.

He was generally on time, and the anticipation increased her desire and gave her the power to be a successful seductress.

She waited for a minute which soon turned into five. Her back started aching but she held her pose.

“He’ll be here any minute” she whispered to herself and waited for another ten minutes.

A knock on the door broke off her pose; he never knocked so it must be someone else she thought.

She walked up to the door and greeted the receptionist. A supermodel tall thin and fair lady, with black spectacles was standing with a file in her hand.

“Mr. Vansh is busy so he won’t be coming to office today” she informed, handing over the files, she said, “These are the files you are supposed to work on today”

“Um…did he inform what he is busy with? Maybe I can help?” asked Shreya.

“No, not really” she replied and hurried off.

“So ignoring it is” she said and slammed the door.