Mornings and heartbreaks - part 1

The sound of his alarm rang in the silence of early morning. Vansh groaned as he searched for his mobile to hit snooze; yesterday was a late night and he wanted to rest peacefully for another ten or twenty minutes.

Force of habit, though, woke him up and he shifted to shut his alarm. A smile spread across his lips as the some events from last night came back to his mind. He was a married man now and that sentence left him feeling giddy. He turned around to snuggle Shreya’s little body, only to find the bed empty.

He sat up with a jerk and looked around for her.

“Shreya?“, he called into the dark space.

A few moments passed where only his soft breathing could be heard. Switching on the light, he gazed around the huge, empty room. The light in the bathroom wasn’t on so she couldn’t possibly be there, but he checked just to be sure.

He moved out of the room and into the living room of their honeymoon sweet and called her name over and over. After checking every possible place she could’ve been, he returned back to his room.

His breathing turned heavier and fear started building in his veins.

“Where could she be?“, he directed at himself, found his phone and dialed her number. Going out at five in the morning wasn’t something people usually do but that was the only explanation left for her absence.

The phone started ringing, only to be answered with a monotonous lady telling him that the user wasn’t picking up. He tried again, and again, until he finally gave up. He stared at his screen, hoping for a call back from her, hoping to quench the fear in his belly and the worry that suddenly gripped his mind.

Noticing new unread messages, he clicked to find a new message from Shreya sitting in his inbox with various other messages. His fingers moved to read the text automatically and found the one sentence she had dropped for her.

“A note for you in your right drawer”

A smile started forming on his lips as his worry dissipated and instead happiness and excitement filled.

“So Mrs. Mehta has a surprise for me”, he announced to the empty room.

The message was timed at 4 am in the morning and he felt all things good because his wife was going way over and beyond to surprise him on their first morning. If her previous surprise was anything to go by, he knew he would be awwed.

He did feel a little dumb because he didn’t plan anything for her but he decided to rectify this situation soon and rubbed his hands as he pulled his right drawer and took out the folded piece of paper from inside.

Containing the bubbling excitement inside, he opened the paper.

“Dear Vansh,

You are amazing!

I love you from every single cell of my body.

In the months that I have known you I have found that you are that one special human that deserves the world. You are that one in perhaps millions, who has a combination of good looks, good heart, great manners and smart brain with an amazing work ethic and honestly, so much more.

You don’t deserve me, you deserve so so so much more.

The video yesterday made me realize something, it made me realize that everything my uncle ever said to me was true and in this note, I want to try and make you realize that as well.

We started dating because you saw me naked. My breasts and my vagina pulled you in. And didn’t he say, that all I had going on for me was my body and these assests?

I am a slut, and you know that already but now, I am kind of porn star as well. Other people, people I don’t know, have seen me naked and aroused, jumping on your dick. I don’t mean to disrespect porn stars, because they own their body and they can do what they wish but I don’t own mine.

The people who saw on me on that video used my body for their sexual pleasure. The funny thing is I am an instagram model - my job is essentially to show my body and please my followers. He already said that my body was for others pleasure, and I don’t really own it and that is the truth.

Maybe you are liberal and don’t mind that, but the community we live in will. I will be an embarrassment on your great profile and some will even degrade you for having a degrading wife such as me. Your business and your family reputation will be put to shame. And your dad? Think of him, how could he ever accept a girl like me to be his daughter-in-law?

You will suffer a loss even greater than having me as your wife.

I had myself convinced that you are your own person and can take decisions for yourself, so I turned selfish and let you marry me all while knowing how bloody wrong of an investment I am. But my conscience doesn’t allow me to put you in greater loss.

You deserve happiness, not constant fighting in the battles that I create in my head.

Your love for me is holding you back.

You are a 100 on 10 and I’m not even 0.1. I can’t hold you back. You have so much potential. You might think you love me, but you and I both know if you never saw me naked, you’d never talk to me. If I didn’t have a good body, you’d never even look my way. So maybe, what you love is my body because there isn’t anything else to love in me.

I love you and so, I have to let you go.

A girl who invites a peeping stranger between her legs is not worthy of you. She was never worthy of you.

I hope you will realize that soon, and find someone better and worthy of your attention.

Bye.

P.S. - There is a note in the left drawer, can you please give it to my parents? Thank you.

P.P.S. - You are free to use any reason (that will keep your image intact) to tell the world of my absence. The marriage is not legalized in paper, so you are free to marry again without any headache of divorce as well.”

A lone tear dropped from his eye and fell on the sheet of paper. He fisted his hands as he crushed the paper in his hands and clenched his jaw.

He could not believe Shreya would leave him, leave him the very day after their marriage. He hated her for this. He hated her for not talking with him. He hated her for believeing that piece of shit over him - the one she claimed to love. He hated her for not fighting, but he hated himself more.

He hated himself for failing to prove his love and her worth to her. He hated himself for fighting instead of being with her. He hated himself for sleeping with her when he should have been talking and comforting her, for not fighting her demons.

He had spent yesterday night fucking her out of her senses when he should have been stitching up her wounds. Even when he didn’t want to and didn’t to, in her head, he had proved that her body was all that was good about her. He had ignored her need for comfort and instead listened to her when she asked to forget about it. He had spent everything of him on her skin and not even a minute on her heart.

“I am going to bloody find you and drill the”You are worthy and lovable” into your head. Just you wait”, he threatened the Shreya that was currently missing, but his anger soon dissipated and in arrived the heartbreak, the pain of not having her with him, and the fear of not finding her.

“But I am going to find you”, he told himself and as his heart cracked, it beat faster to find the hole that was missing.

He took a deep breath, and calmed his emotions to think logically. The message was left at 4 am, only an hour and a half has passed and she could be found.

“Shreya! Shreya! Shreya!“, he shouted in the room and flattening the paper, started reading again.

This time, he was searching for clues. Any clue that could tell him where she was and who she was with. Not finding any leads, he threw the note back in the drawer and paced back and forth, trying to think of any place, anywhere she could go.

“This girl has gone mad. That bastard of an uncle gave her so many insecurities, I’m going to murder her uncle with my bare hands if I ever find...“, he stopped in his tracks.

Uncle.

Her Uncle.

Her paedophile, bastad uncle.

That was a clue, alright, and a huge lead.