Goodbye!

Taking a decision was easy but following them through was not, Shreya realized this, 60 minutes into taking the biggest decision of her life.

Vansh came into her room from his personal entrance – the window – which she had promptly forgotten to shut.

His figure was a crude reminder of all things she was missing, of all the laughs she was sacrificing and all the possibilities she was murdering. Seeing his eyes reminded her of emotions she always saw swirling in them and how warm and giddy they made her feel.

Vansh arriving in her room when she was not ready to handle him was a temptation as huge as the Mt. Everest itself. Her mind was still fuzzy, sad and quite frankly disconnected; she was in no state to break-up with him without bawling her eyes out.

She needed time, yes time, so she could face him, speak to him and tell him to get lost without drowning in her own tears. Never mind what happened after that. Once he was safely out of her room she could cry as much as she wanted, but somehow she had to manage not to do it right now.

When her heart-broken mother had left her on the floor, she had decided that she’d break up with the man who was the cause for it. If he had never peeped on her, if he had never come into her life, she’d be free – free of the guilt that gripped her for almost breaking her relationship with her very own mother, free of the guilt for being the reason the strongest woman she had ever seen in her life was on her knees crying, and free of the guilt for being disloyal and promise-breaker to her own mother.

The man, beautiful, beautiful man she saw in front of her was the cause of her distress and though it was no direct fault of his, it was important to push him out of her life.

And though her reasons sounded right and her resolution strong about an hour ago, now standing in front of the man himself she wasn’t sure she would be able to pull through.

All she wanted to do was pull him closer and kiss him till the end of this world, kiss him till she forgot about anything and everything, kiss him till she forgot herself. But what she wanted and what she had to do were two very different things.

With a deep inhalation of hope and courage, she said, “I am breaking up with you” and thankfully managed to not reduce into a hopeless crying mess.

“Wh… what?”, he stuttered.

“You heard me”, she said concealing every hint of emotion from her voice and her face. Not a very difficult task, considering she had spent most of her life faking her emotions, but then again, her emotions weren’t as loud or as strong as they were now.

But she hoped she concealed, concealed every last bit of emotion because if he knew how hurt she was really, there were chances he wouldn’t be very co-operative.

Vansh stood, gaping at her, for a long time.

For a very long time.

His eyes stared at her, unblinking and accusing but she could detect hurt and desperation too, even a tad bit of love in his eyes. The silence was unbearable, it was eating at her soul and clawing her heart out; she would burst if he tortured her any longer. She would… she would… before she could finish the thought, his jaw shut and his lips started moving reluctantly.

“Why?”, he asked, his jaw clenched tight and his fist clenching even tighter.

“Um..”, she opened her mouth to speak something, but no words came out. What could she say? I’m breaking up with you because though my mom doesn’t actively disapprove of our relationship I feel guilty. When you put it like that, it didn’t sound like a very reasonable excuse to break up with a man like Vansh.

Her mouth kept moving like a puckered fish, but no words, neither bubbles left her mouth.

He stepped forward, closing the distance between them and staring straight into her grey eyes, he asked again, “Why?”, in a voice so chilling, the hair on the back of her neck stood up.

“I… I”, she stuttered. Gazing into the unfathomable depths of his eyes, the beautiful union of blue and grey, for a moment she forgot what they were talking about. But the moment passed and she stepped back.

Staying in close proximity of this man was a threat to her promise.

“Why, Shreya? Why do you want to break up with me?”, he asked in a sensual voice, as he took another step forward and crushed her body with his. Mercurial. The anger she would handle but sensual Vansh was doing things to her that shouldn't be happening if she wanted to let go of him.

The hardness of his flesh and the warmth of his body pressed incessantly into her front, reminding her of all the pleasures she was leaving behind. And his voice, his sensual voice caressed every inch of her skin and butterflies shot straight to her core to drench her knickers.

“I just don’t want you anymore”, she lied, her chin raised. She would not be afraid of a little hardness pressing in her, no, she would not.

“Didn’t quite seem that way 90 minutes ago”, he said and then added, softly, “Is this because of your mom?”

“No”, she replied immediately, too quickly; like a person who was deliberately trying to hide something. She crossed her virtual fingers hoping to hope that he didn’t realize; that he didn’t understand...

“Oh, so it is about your mom! Tell me, did she threaten you to stay away from me? Didn’t she ask you to leave me? Is this why you are playing this charade right now?”

“No! NO!”, she whispered and her shoulders slumped. All the fight left her body and the anguish that she was trying to hide was planted on her face for everyone to see. “She didn’t say anything. She didn’t ask of anything and all she did was show me how selfish and foolish I was to ever hurt her - the one person who always stood by me.”

“So she did ask you to stay away from me, just indirectly”, he stated, his body still pressing onto her.

“No, didn’t you hear what I said? She didn’t say anything, I decided to break up with you because I want her to trust me”

His arms wrapped around her and his eyes bore into her, not saying anything but absorbing every part of her. It seemed like he was looking straight into her soul and she savoured the feel. This was probably the last time they’d ever be together, holding each other and gazing into each other as they were.

“So you have decided?”, he asked, and the slight crack in his voice made her gulp.

“Yes”, she said and a lone tear ran away from her eyes and rolled down her cheek. “I love you but I have to break up with you”, she added and her voice cracked.

His eyes caressed the tear rolling down her cheek and with a swift move of his lips arrested the tear and threw it out. He nodded, a short bend of his head and then quickly bent down to capture her lips with his own.

His musky woody scent enveloped her and the taste of him exploded in her mouth. Delicious shivers ran up her spine and her toes curled to feel more of him in her mouth.

Her hands travelled to his hair and a tear rolled down her cheek. Goodbyes, how disastrous they were and yet in his hands, she felt nothing but pleasure.

Her lips moved over his, prolonging the goodbye for as long as she could. She felt devoured and ravished, alive yet sad, she felt pleasure yet pricks in her heart.

All of the feelings surging in her body reminded her of one thing, just one thing and that how she was losing a gem, a gem she would never again find in her life.

So she kissed, with everything she had in her and more. She kissed him out of pleasure and hurt, she kissed to show love and to hurt, she kissed this masterpiece as a token of her lust and a final goodbye.

With watering eyes and battered breath, they moved apart. He did not say anything, only stared at her with his beautiful eyes and a freshly flushed face.

And then a small sad smile graced his lips. He rested his forehead over hers and murmured, "Goodbye" as he left her side and jumped off her window.

With a heartbroken smile on her face, she closed the window, closing him out forever.