I feel impure

Trigger warning!

“I was spending my summer holidays in my aunt’s place, and one night when I was sleeping…” she started.

She was sleeping on her back with her legs wide apart and her toes poking out of the blanket. It was perhaps midnight when she first felt the slight cold on her skin, only to realize that her blanket had fallen away. Still sleepy, she drifted back to her peaceful state.

She felt the bed dip to her right as a body slept on it, imagining it to be her cousin she moved closer to the body and wrapped her arms around him.

She was thirteen or maybe fourteen then, but she had already blossomed in her chest department. And on a stick-like figure like hers, her breasts seemed to stick out extensively. Her cousin felt bigger and broader in her arms, but her sleepy head simply ignored this and drifted back to sleep.

She felt the warmth of their body as they wrapped their hands around her. Slowly, she was pulled from her side on top of his body; she moaned in discomfort but a hand patted her head back to sleep.

“Are you wearing a bra?” asked the man, he sounded like her uncle, as he pressed her breasts in his hands.

“Yes,” she whispered, still sleepy.

“It’s not good to wear a bra while you sleep” he scolded, though his voice was low.

She groaned and tried to sleep, but her uncle’s hands held her over his body and pushed her upright so she sat on his thighs.

He said, “Let me remove your bra and then you can sleep” and before she could understand or react, his hands found the bottom of her shirt and moved upwards on her back. He undid her strap and then started undoing the buttons on her shirt.

When she groaned again, he whispered, “Hush! I’m just removing your bra so you sleep comfortably”

The shirt was pushed off her shoulders and her bra soon followed. She was now topless, sitting on her uncle as his rough hands fondled her breasts.

Her uncle roughly pinched her nipples and she cried out in pain. Her mouth soon got covered under his hands and her cries died down in his eyes as he glared at her intensely.

“I am only helping you relieve the stress from your bra, darling”, he said gently, but his eyes held no gentleness. He asked, “Don’t you trust your uncle?”

Her eyes were wide open, her sleep had vanished, and so had the little bit of fight she had in her. ‘How silly of me to doubt my own uncle, why would he do me any harm? He is only helping me’, she thought to herself and said, “Of course I trust you, uncle.”

When the hand from her lips moved to her nipples and pinched again, she moaned, “But it hurts”

Her uncle licked the nipple he just pinched and softly smirked as he said, “But you are a big girl, aren’t you? You can handle a little pain, no? or do you want me to kiss it better?”

“Kiss it… kiss it better, uncle. It burns” she cried in a low voice.

Her uncle feasted on her nipples, he licked, sucked and played with her buds while she sat on him confused by his actions and the weird state of wetness she felt in between her legs.

His lips felt good, but it burned too. It felt as if a huge boulder at on her lower belly and every lick slowly pushed it out. It felt nice but wrong, but of course, her uncle wouldn’t do anything wrong to her.

She moaned in pleasure she didn’t know, she moaned in the burn she couldn’t identify and she moaned in the embarrassment of being topless. She couldn’t feel anything except the warmth and wetness of his tongue.

By the time he stopped his assault on her chest, she was breathless and groaned in disapproval. Something in between her legs begged for attention; she didn’t know what it wanted but it didn’t want his lips to stop. She ground her hips on her uncle’s thighs and as she felt the wetness there, her embarrassment increased ten-fold.

‘She had peed inside her pants’, she thought and hid her head down in shame.

“What’s wrong?” he uncle asked, and she stuttered as she answered, “I peed in my pants”

“Oh”, he chuckled and slid her down on her back. He rolled on top of her and said, “Let me just check, okay?”

He pulled her shorts and underwear down through her legs and she felt him move down in between her legs. A finger ran along the length of her folds and she moaned.

It felt good, very good.

Her uncle repeated the action and she moaned again. His tongue was next to explore her folds and delighted with whatever he was doing she squirmed under him. The tension built deep inside her belly and for the first time in her life, she orgasmed.

She shattered on her uncle’s lips as he kept lapping at her folds. She moaned in pleasure she had never known nor heard of before, she felt she could reach the sky, she felt she could fly.

Her high slowly rolled down and she felt tired and sleepy. With a heavy yawn, she crashed on her bed and opened her eyes only the next morning, fully dressed.

This became their nighttime ritual. Her uncle would come in every night, undress her and violate her.

Soon, he started undressing as well and asked her to relieve his stress as she did hers. He wrapped her palm around a wet, slimy thing and asked her to play with it; Pump it up and down. She did as he asked; though it felt gross she wanted him to help her fly like he had the other day. She believed if she did it enough, she’d soon fly.

So when he asked her to wrap her lips around hid slimy thing, she didn’t hesitate. She did as she was bid, so she could get her reward.

Every night he would come, and every night she would come.

As days passed, he started being more aggressive, Though she got to reach the sky, he teased her so much that she had to beg him for release. And every time she begged, he asked her to call herself a slut for men.

He told her how the only good things about her were her breasts and her vagina. He told her how she was only a property and how that all a boy would ever want from her was her body. He told her so many degrading things and asked her to repeat it with her mouth wrapped around his dick.

When she argued, she’d get slapped and would have to clean the floor with her tongue. So she rarely ever did.

It was almost a month and her time in her aunt’s house was near its end. On the last day of her visit, her uncle bought a friend with him to her room. He said that the man was a doctor and would help her relieve any anxiety she might be feeling.

Her uncle didn’t undress her like every other night instead he and his friend sat on her bed and asked her to undress as they shot embarrassing words at her. They said it was her job to please men, and nothing more. A slut like her should be on her knees worshipping cocks.

She didn’t understand a lot of things, but she knew enough to know that they were insulting. She didn’t know what to do, but her uncle always said, “Follow my orders, don’t think” and she complied with his words.

“They never penetrated me,” she said, as tears rolled down her cheek, “but they did everything else”

“This… This continued for two years until I finally realized what was happening and avoided my aunt and uncle. He never tried anything after I said ‘no’ but the memory of their hands, their lips and their dicks are still fresh in my mind. Every time I see my uncle, I want to jump off the cliff because it hurts. It hurts so bad”

“Even today, when I see him,
I feel weak, helpless and so stupid

I feel dirty, used and gross.

I feel impure

I feel like a… like a… slut”