Chapter 21

DREW.
I splashed water on my face, staring at my reflection in the mirror.
Today. I needed to do it today.
Kate had spent the last two weeks in the hospital because apparently, her situation was worse than we thought it was. She'd not been happy about it but she had no say in the matter when it was about her own health.
She was going to be discharged today and Bailey had volunteered to live with Kate until she was able to fully function on her own again. I would've liked it if she'd been with me where I could see her. Under my protection. But I didn't have that luxury anymore. I had to get this done with.
I was still hunting down the bastards but I had not gotten any lead so far. It's either they were very clever or they were already dead.
I was hoping on the former. I wanted to kill them myself.
My visits to the hospital had been less lately because of what I was going to do today. I didn't want to be around her a lot –it wouldn only remind me of what I was going to be missing.
It was really different seeing Kate like this. Unable to do anything without assistance everyday. And all because of my dad.
I didn't know why my dad hated me so much though. We've just always never mixed since I was a kid and I understood that. But he took this whole hatred thing to another level. I never really did anything to warrant that kind of hatred from him. All I did was exist.
Since when I was a kid, he'd always favoured Chase and I'd chalked it up to him being his favorite kid. And then growing up, he'd take Chase on trips with, or without, my mom and they'd leave me home alone. That's when I knew that it was more than favouritism. It was hatred.
I briefly wondered if I'd done anything to him that would cause this kid of hatred when I was younger. But I knew my dad. He'd probably have told me by now. Used it to mock me and tell me why Chase was always better than me.
He hated me. I hated him. Fact. He was going to pay for what he did to Kate simple.
I dressed in grey sweatpants and a black hoodie then took my car keys and went downstairs. I was going to the hospital. I was going to do it. No matter how much my body fought against it.
I tried to reason with myself. It was a logical thing to do. My being with her made her a target and who knows if she might get hurt again? My dad was one sick asshole. So letting her go was the smartest thing to do. Wasn't that what you did when you cared about someone? Put their needs before yours in whatever you did? That's what I was doing now. Putting Kate first. Because God knows I wouldn't fucking survive it if anything happened to her.
I entered my car and slowly pulled out from the underground garage.
On my way to the hospital, I stopped over to grab coffee and a burger in case Kate hadn't eaten anything this morning. Oh, and flowers. Because I was a fucking idiot.
The nurse waved at me when I got in and I tipped my chin at her. Snitch.
My palms felt sweaty when I finally got to Kate's door. Shit. I was sweating. Why the hell was I sweating?
I brought my hand up to knock but it fell back down lifelessly. I brought it up again, this time, with determination and knocked. I was never a coward and I wasn't about to start being one now.
"Come in. "
I pushed the door open and I saw her sitting on the bed, looking so full of life and happy. I was sure that was because she was going home today. She'd talked my ears of about how she couldn't wait to leave this godawful place. And I agreed with her. Seeing this much white every day would fuck with my sanity.
"Hey, you're here early. " she smiled when she saw it was me, "I actually thought it was Bailey. "
And that made me feel like shit. Why? Because I'd deliberately been avoiding her through out this week. Even when I had been dying to see her.
I cleared my throat, "Yeah. I figured you wouldn't have eaten anything so I decided to grab a burger. "
I walked over to the table by her side, placing the bag I was carrying on it and bringing out the items one by one.
"And flowers? " she asked, incredulous.
"I actually got those for you. " I mumbled. "Where do I put them? " I asked turning away, not meeting her eyes.
She was looking at me in that way of hers that made me feel uncomfortable and if I saw her like this now, going through with my plan would be so hard.
"Just put leave them there. You know I'm leaving anyway. I'll take them with me. "
"Okay. "
I dropped the flowers back down and turned to her, realizing the bottle of water wasn't here.
"Shit. I think I forgot the water in my car. I'll go get it. " I turned to leave, grabbing my car keys but she stopped me.
"Leave it. Come here. "
My hairs stood on end. I turned slowly to her and saw she'd spread her legs slightly, as if making room for me.
If I went to her now, I'd break. I didn't want to touch her. I wanted to keep my distance and be done with this so I could leave.
But I'd never been able to deny Kate Rossi before and it wasn't going to start now.
I found my legs carrying me towards her. My body was always going to want this girl. It was my mind. My mind that stopped me from taking too much even when I wanted to.
It was my mind that told me that I needed to end things now before they got worse.
She wrapped her hands around my back and I slid mine around her waist. God. It felt so fuckinh good. It felt like..... Home.
I missed her. So much. So fucking much. I missed her moving around in my kitchen, making me breakfast. I missed her sitting on my lap, setting my body on fire. I missed her giving me shit. And I even missed the simple luxury of seeing her amidst my things.
I rested my chin on her head, inhaling her scent.
"I've missed you, Drew. " she murmured into my hoodie, "I can't wait to get out of here. "
That snapped be back to reality. Right. I was already deviating from my plan, forgetting why I'd come here in the first place.
This was going to break her. But it was going to break me more.
I pulled away, hardening my heart and shoving my hands into the pockets of my sweatpants so I wouldn't give in to the urge to touch her.
I took several steps back, turning away from her. And when I was at a safe distance and my face was under control, I turned back to her, "I can't do this anymore. "
Her eyebrows dived down, "What? "
"This. Us. " I gestured between us with my hand, "I can't do it anymore. "
Her eyes widened with understanding, "You mean, you can't do this relationship anymore. "
I made sure my face was perfectly blank, devoid of any emotion that might give me away. And decided to amp it up a notch.
"This was never a relationship. It was just two of us doing whatever. " I shrugged, "And I've lost interest. This is just not working for me anymore. "
The look on her face was killing me. She looked so heartbroken and shocked.
"What do you mean this was never a relationship? " she whispered brokenly, "We've been dating, Drew. You never obj–"
"Because I wanted to get what I wanted from you. " I snapped impatiently, she was making this so much harder for me, "And it's not like I got it anyway. Couldn't even fuck you no matter how many dates I took you on. " I dug a knife in her, knowing I'd hurt her by using that word she hated so much.
She jerked back like I hit her and I felt my fingers shaking in my pockets. I didn't want to do this. God knows I didn't want to do this. But I had no fucking choice. If anything happened to her, I wouldn't be able to live knowing I'd been the cause of it.
"Drew... " she whispered, her voice shaking.
"You were nothing, Kate. " I continued, twisting the knife deeper. "It was very fucking naive of you to assume you were something else. "
She was shaking now, trying to get down from the bed to walk to me but her situation prevented it. She'd need help. And there was no one here to help her. No one but me.
And it was fucking killing me! I wanted to say to hell with this and take her in my arms but I couldn't. I fucking couldn't.
KATE.
"You were nothing, Kate. It was very fucking naive of you to assume you were anything but. " he said, his face blank, vacant of any emotion.
Was this really happening to me? I couldn't believe it. I refused to believe it.
I missed Drew so much. So much it hurt. And when the doctor told me I was finally getting out of here, I couldn't explain the happiness I'd felt. I was finally getting out of here.
I'd been so scared about going back to my apartment alone and when Bailey had suggested she'd live with me until I could get back on my feet, I couldn't be happier. I was safe, on my way to recovery, my best friend and my boyfriend were going to be with me.
What more could I want?
And now this.
Drew was breaking up with me. After he'd just come here with food and was taking care of me. He even hugged me just a minute ago. What the hell was happening?
I tried to get down from the bed but I couldn't. Damn it. I was so fucking frustrated. "You don't mean that, Drew. " I assured myself more than him.
"You should know by now that I don't say things I don't mean. " he turned away, dismissing me.
Oh my God, he was serious. He really was. Just when I thought we were going somewhere. When I thought I'd finally found one good thing in my lonely life.
Just when I was beginning to fall in love with him...
But could I just let him go? Just like that? Where do I start from? I included him in everything I did. How do I go back to living life without him?
Something smelled fishy in all this and I just couldn't put my finger in it. One minute he'd been hot, hugging me, bringing me coffee and a hamburger. The next minute, he was cold telling me he didn't want me anymore?
"But what about the coffee? " I asked desperately, "The flowers? "
"Those were me feeding you. It's the least I could do. " he sneered, "And as for the flowers, that's just a get well soon gift. "
"But...... I thought......" I struggled to say something. Anything. But I came up blank.
"As I said before, fucking naive. "
He stared at me, emotionlessly. I was shaking inside. Breaking. I didn't know if I was ever going to recover from this. Once. Just once. I'd opened my heart to someone else after how insecure Mike made me and this was the outcome.
I was getting dumped. Because I was never enough. Never going to be what they wanted.
I met his eyes and he met mine unflinchingly. I maintained eye contact. Thirty seconds. He didn't drop his eyes or even blink. He was serious about this. I'd lost.
I saw him for who he really was. A fucking liar.
"You're a manipulative asshole. " because that's what he was. He'd led me to believe that there was something between us. And now he was telling me that he was using me to get what he wanted all along?
"Am I really? I told you from the start that I just wanted to fuck you. " I flinched. "But you chose to believe that there could be something between us. That's on you, not me. "
And it was true. Wasn't it? I'd literally strong armed him into a relationship. And now I was paying the price.
"I broke up with Trent for you. " I sobbed, unable to control my emotions anymore. I couldn't do this. I didn't want him to see me cry. Not like this. And at the same time I couldn't help it.
I was done. So fucking done with men. With the world.
He shrugged. "No one asked you to. You could've kept him on the side while we fucked. "
I couldn't believe that the person standing in front of me was the Drew I'd come to love. No, it couldn't be him. That had been a false form of him. He'd shed that facade and was now standing in front of me in his true form. This. This was the true form. The man I'd known all along. The one that always made me feel bad. The man that hurt me on the day of my parents deatharversary.
I mustered up all the strength I could then I stood up, sharp pain shooting up my sides but I ignored it. I marched over to the table and collected all the things he brought, each step more excruciatingly painful than the last.
With the burger and coffee in hand, I walked over to the waste bin and dropped them in it. But I made sure not to touch the flowers. I wasn't going to.
I went back to stand by the edge of the bed, putting my back to him because I didn't want to see the look on his face. That unbearably painful mocking look.
"Take your flower and get out. "
The silence in the room was deafening, then he broke it by going over to the table and collecting the flowers.
My heart was breaking. Don't go. Don't go. Please say it's all a lie and I'll believe you. Tell me you didn't mean anything you said. Don't take the flowers. They're the first you've ever given me.
But he didn't. He opened the door and I waited for him to finally close it, signalling his leave.
"I paid the bill. " he said gruffly. Blandly.
Then and only then, did I hear the sound of the door closing.
I broke down.
When Bailey came in later, she found me lying on the bed, my eyes red from crying, my pillow soaked and tear tracks on my face.
"Jesus. " she dumped her bag on the chair, hurrying over to me and turned my face slightly in bed, "What happened? "
I didn't say anything. I couldn't get the words past the lump stuck in my throat.
"Kate, talk to me, please. You're scaring me. " she jostled me slightly.
I looked up at her. At my best friend. At how concerned and worried she looked. What would I do without Bailey? She'd been nothing but caring to me. And she was the most supportive person I knew. Why was I even so sad about Drew anyway? I had Bailey. I had someone. Wasn't that what mattered?
No. No, it wasn't. Bailey was my friend, not my boyfriend. She was a big sweetheart and an important person in my life but she couldn't do what Drew did for me.
Besides, I was already in love with him. Yes. I figured that out in the span of two hours when I'd been crying, mourning my loss. I realized loosing him hurt so much because I was in love with him. But it didn't matter because we weren't together anymore.
"You're just staring at me and it's creeping me the fuck out, Kate. Why are you crying? Is it because of your situation? We're getting out of here today. I'm going to take care of you. Say something. "
And I did. "Drew broke up with me "
She narrowed her eyes at me, "What do you mean Drew broke up with you? Has he even been here today? "
I nodded. "He came. And he told me we were over. "
"Uh-huh. Drew broke up with you today. " she said disbelievingly.
"Yes, Kate. I'm serious. " my voice was hoarse from crying.
She stared at me like she was confused. "And what was his reason? "
"Said he got tired of me. " It hurt to say it again. To be reminded of why he'd dumped me.
"What the fuck? " she exploded. "He came over, on the day you're supposed to be discharged, and dumped you because he's tired of you? "
Hearing it from someone else's mouth really made it that much more confusing. But he'd been serious. I could tell. He even met my eye contact. Drew would usually drop his eyes to the ground whenever it became too uncomfortable to him.
"That sounds like a load of crap to me. Don't you think so? " she asked.
I shrugged. I didn't care. There was no need hashing shit out. I wasn't in a relationship anymore. It was a done thing. I wasn't going to waste another minute wondering why he dumped me.
"Well, screw him anyway, Kate. You're a fucking catch and he knows that. " Kate tried to make me feel better, "You're going to be on your feet in no time. We're going to go to just lay low, do our manis and pedis, get our hair cut and go to the spa. "
I smiled at her because hell, I missed her. She always had a comeback for everything. I loved how things didn't get to her.
"We're going to spoil ourselves, Kate. " she turned, heading for the door. "Now, let me go get that doctor so we'll get out of here. "
We were definitely going to do those things she said. I needed to treat myself, care for myself without thinking about anybody else.
But for now, I was content to just lie down and nurse my broken heart.