Chapter 22

KATE.
Over the last two weeks, I'd been at Bailey's house. We'd been at mine for the first week but then I decided to come here instead since her shop was closer to her home. I felt bad for inconveniencing her.
Bailey's apartment was a two bedroom. I'd gotten my stuff in the other room for the time being.
It was really sweet of her, letting me stay here. Really.
I got up off the bed, brushed my teeth, then went into the kitchen for my regular dose of caffeine.
It's been two weeks.
Two weeks since Drew broke up with me without an ounce of emotion.
And why was I surprised? He was bipolar. I knew that before I started whatever the hell I had with him. Since he'd taken his time to explain in detail to me that we never dated. The asshole.
Bringing me food and taking care of me at the hospital, making me think we were solid and actually going somewhere. Then he'd dropped the bomb.
I turned at the sound of footsteps and saw Bailey walking from the hallway. She was an early riser like me. Something I figured out during my stay with her.
And unlike me, she didn't need coffee to jump-start her brain. Nope. Bailey was naturally wired.
"Hey. Did you sleep well? " she asked, going to her drawers and rummaging inside.
"Yeah. You? "
She shrugged, "Like a dead person. I swear that orgasm was something else. "
I choked on my coffee and quickly placed the mug down.
She rushed over to pat my back gently, "Are you okay? "
"Yeah. " I cleared my throat, "That was TMI, Bails. "
She rolled her eyes, resuming her task of going through her drawers, "Look at you. We've been friends for how long, exactly? And you're still not used to my dirty mouth. "
She grabbed a carton of cereal and set up a bowl on the counter, pouring some into a bowl.
I grabbed another bowl and poured a hefty amount of cereal into my bowl before Bailey passed the carton of milk to me.
"I don't know how you eat so much. " she murmured, grabbing two spoons, one for me and one for her.
"Hey. " I swatted her arm lightly, "I love my food. "
She snorted, "Tell me about it. " she pushed a stool over and sat on it, tilting it towards mine slightly. "The mystery is where they go. "
I gave her a 'seriously' look. "Have you met my ass? "
She laughed, nodding her head, "Yes, that's right. They all go there. That's your super power. "
I snorted, an unladylike thing, then continued eating my cereal, when I remembered Bailey's earlier inappropriate statement.
"What orgasm were you talking about anyway? You came home alone. "
"Knock. Knock. Who's there? The twenty first century. " she stared at me like I had sprouted a second head, "You know there's something called a vibrator right? "
I narrowed my eyes, "You didn't use a vibrator. "
I know Bailey doesn't use a vibrator because she'd rather just grab a stray from the streets instead.
"Aww, you know me so well. " she fluttered her lashes, "You're right anyway. I used these. " she raised her hand, wiggling her fingers at me.
I laughed, shaking my head, "Don't touch me with those. "
"Too late. " she grinned mischievously, "You forget I handed you, your spoon. "
I grabbed my throat, pretending to gag, "God help me. "
Bailey babe me an assessing look, a small smile on her face.
"What? " I asked when she just kept staring at me.
She shoved a spoon into her mouth, "I think this is actually the first time I'm seeing you laugh ever since that asshole broke up with you. "
At the mention of said person, I felt a sharp pain tugging at my chest. The pain felt fresh. Like it happened just hours ago.
I pushed my spoon around in my bowl, my appetite to eat suddenly gone. A huge lump formed in my throat at the reminder of how Drew left me, confirming my worst fear; that I wasn't good enough.
The only difference between my relationship with Mike and mine with Drew, was that I'd left Mike's relationship before he could destroy my self-esteem completely. But with Drew, I'd stayed, deluding myself that he saw something in me that was different. Cliche, I know. But I thought he did.
And look where that landed you.
"I'm happy for you, really. You're finally getting over him. "
I shrugged halfheartedly.
Was I getting over him? No.
Was I trying? Yes.
Was I making progress though? No.
I glanced at Bailey and given the tightness of her smile, I knew even she didn't believe what she'd said. I couldn't blame her for trying though. She was just being a supportive friend.
She nudged me slightly with her elbow, "Hey. How are you feeling? "
"I'm good. " I answered automatically.
"No, I mean. How is your body? Are you okay? " she raised a brow, "Fit to go out? "
I was okay, I guess. I hadn't felt pain in the past two days. I was still on meds though because of my ribs but I was okay. I didn't feel pain if I didn't really exert much force.
"I think I'm good, yeah. Why though? Are we going out? " I wiggled my brows.
I couldn't lie and say I didn't miss going out. It had been so long and I was slightly getting tired of staying home all day, everyday.
"Hell yes. " she got up, rinsing her bowl in the sink and stretching her hand towards mine.
I shook my head, telling her I could do it myself.
"What do you say? We do our manicure and pedicure today? Get a haircut? " she raised a brow, the excitement palpable on her face, "The spa? "
I was pretty sure her own excitement mirrored on my face, "Totally in. "
We were dressed and out of the house in an hour.
We vibed over hair treatment, eyebrows shaving, face treatment and on. I swear, by the time I was done, my skin was softer than it had ever been.
I ran my hand through my hair and it was almost like there was nothing there. My hair was so fucking soft. I didn't think I'd need hair products till the next year. Yes, my hair looked that freaking good.
"Oh my God, Kate. You look so fucking good. " she eyeballed me, "Get out there. "
I rolled my eyes, "You're one to talk. You're dripping. Literally. "
And it wasn't an understatement. Bailey chopped her hair, so the current length was to her shoulders. And it was stick straight, not to mention, glossy as hell.
Her face was fresh and young. Her blue eyes shone with happiness and nothing made me happier.
"Stop looking at me like that. " she murmured.
My eyes flew up to hers and I paused for a second.
What was I seeing exactly?
Her pupils were slightly dilated and....... Bailey was blushing!
What the hell?
"Are you blushing? " I was shocked because, really, I've never seen Bailey blush before. What was happening here?
She glared at me then huffed, turning away to stare at the mirror in front of her. "Of course I'm not. You know I don't blush. "
"Yes, which is why I'm surprised. " she rolled her eyes, but refused to look at me, "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. "
She didn't reply me so I left it at that. I knew Bailey was a very interesting person. I've always known this, but when she'd told me that day that if I was lesbian, she'd do me. That gave me pause. Ever since that day I wondered if she was bi. Because, hell, that's what her statement meant.
But today, her blushing, confirmed my suspicion. Bailey was bisexual. I mean, I hadn't seen her with a girl before but also, I'd only started living with her lately. I didn't know how she was living her life before.
I knew I should ask her about this but it was a very uncomfortable thing to talk about. I mean, she was even ignoring me right now and that was very unlike Bailey, but I was also curious as hell. I wanted to know. She was my best friend after all.
And I think........ She might be into me. I don't know. She probably didn't want me to know and she hadn't acted on it since I'd met her, but every once in a while, she threw comments and if I wasn't used to her mouth already, I'd take offense.
I didn't know if I felt uncomfortable that she was into me. Flattered?.... Yes. But, I didn't know if it made me uncomfortable. And I could live with that if she didn't act on it.
After all, whether she was bi or not, didn't matter. I wasn't one to judge a person based on their sexuality. And I wasn't going to do that to Bailey.
She was my best friend and I loved her to death.
"Bails? " I called.
"Yeah? " she turned slightly so she wouldn't mess up the work being done on her toes.
"You know I love you, yeah? "
"Yeah. " she smiled, her blue eyes lighting up and removing a little of the ache in my heart.
Even if it was for a little while.
DREW.
It's been two weeks.
Two fucking weeks since I saw Kate and I can say with absolute certainty that I've lost my damn mind.
I wasn't the same person I'd been when we'd been together. I told her we weren't in a relationship. But I'd been lying through my teeth.
We dated and it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I couldn't lie.
It was hard sleeping in my room without her. I mean, I didn't sleep on a normal day but now that she was gone, I fucking couldn't.
Memories of her and myself plagued me everywhere I went. My assistant has been avoiding me for the past week now so she didn't have to deal with my sour mood. I'd been more savage at the office lately.
And Arash had noticed. Being the annoying asshole he was, he'd proceeded to make my life even more miserable.
"My man. " he grinned, clapping me on the back, damn near making me double over.
"What the fuck are you doing here? " I growled, picking my phone back up off the ground.
He sat down on the couch in front of me, drawing his leg up and placing it on top of his right knee. "You look like shit. "
"Thanks, mirror. " I rolled my eyes and continued with what I was doing before.
Re reading my old conversations with Kate. Pathetic as hell, I know. But this, this was the only thing that kept me going.
"What's up with you, though? I haven't heard from you in over a month. What the hell have you been doing? "
Loving and breaking up with my girl.
She's not your girl anymore, asshole.
"Just say you miss me. It's not that hard. " I said absently, scrolling through my messages and seeing that I was already at the bottom again.
Fucking hell. This just showed how much of an asshole I'd been to Kate all through the relationship. We barely texted and whenever we did, it was little more than.
Where are you?
Is Angus there yet?
What are you wearing?
Yes, I had a shot at being the awarded the boyfriend of the year.
Some boyfriend I was.
One minute I'd been staring at my phone, the next it was in Arash's hands. What the fuck?
"What the hell do you think you're doing? "
He flew over my couch and ran into my kitchen, swiping. "About to check whatever is so important, you'd actually be interested in your phone. "
I ran after him but I knew he was already done reading the messages before I got there. Because they weren't that much anyway.
I snatched my phone from him and he whistled low.
"What the hell have you been up to, Rutledge? "
I ignored him, walking back to my living room and sitting on the couch like the hopeless asshole I was.
"You're not getting out of this one. You're going to talk to me whether you like it or not. " he raised a brow, "You know that, right? "
Of course I knew that. He was an asshole, granted. But he was the only one I knew who would listen to my shit. He'd mock me, yes. But he would give me an advise at the end of the day. So, why not tell him?
"I've been seeing Kate. " I said lamely.
"Wait. What do you mean seeing? " he narrowed his eyes at me.
I glared at him right back, "Exactly what it means. "
"As in you've been fucking her. "
I wish. If only he knew how wrong he was.
"No. Seeing as in, we've been.... " I paused. It was really hard getting that word out.
"Been what? " he urged impatiently.
"Been dating. " I forced out.
His jaw dropped. Like, literally dropped. And there was little that surprised Arash Madini in this life.
"Holy fuck. You were in a relationship? " his eyes bugged out.
I shrugged, ignoring him. That was the least of my worries right now. All I cared about, needed was Kate. Just Kate.
"And you didn't fucking tell me? " he snapped.
I glared at him. Why the fuck would I even think to tell him?
Because he's your best friend?
Fuck that shit. I didn't have a best friend. I didn't even have a friend.
Keep telling yourself that.
"Why the hell would I tell you? "
He cocked his head, "Because I'm your best friend? "
"No, you're not. "
"Keep telling yourself that. "
What the hell? Were Arash and my subconscious now friends or something?
I ignored that because I didn't have time for his crap. If he wanted to help, he'd better help now. I didn't need him toying with me.
"Okay, so..... " I left the sentence hanging.
"So, first off, Who is this girl? "
"What the fuck kind of question is that? You've met her already. " I snapped.
His jaw dropped as again.
"Careful, Arash. Two more surprises and your mouth if going to be home for flies. " I said, my voice lacking emotion.
"Ha ha. Funny. " he shifted to the edge of his couch, "But for real, though. You mean Kate as in the one who works for you? "
"Are you having hearing problems on top of everything else? "
"Damn, Rutledge. I thought you didn't fuck your employees. " he teased.
"I never fucked her. " I said without thinking...... And now that's out there. He was going to ride my ass so hard over this.
"What? "
"I never fucked her. " I repeated.
"Wow. I know you very well so I can tell you're serious. " he paused, "What I don't know is if you've learnt a new poker face. "
Was he serious right now? I mean, I understood why he was surprised though.
The only thing I'd ever needed from a girl was a good fuck, nothing more. And the fact that I'd gone out on dates with her and hadn't even gotten any was laughable to a fault.
I was already pissed at myself for breaking up with her and I was experiencing an all time low. If Arash was going to kick me when I'm down, it would be now.
"Okay. You're serious. You're finally in a relationship. That's something we should celebrate right? " he actually looked confused, "Why the fuck are you sitting here, moping? "
"Because I broke up with her, Arash. I fucking broke up with her. " I yelled, shoving my hands into my hair and tugging at the roots.
I was tired. So fucking tired and frustrated. Why the hell couldn't I live my damn life without my dad interfering? This was all his fault.
I stared at Arash and saw he was taken aback by my outburst.
"Why did you? "
Why did I? Because I wanted to protect her from my dad. But what good could it possibly do, though? My dad already had his sights on her and if he really wanted to do something to her, he would.
And as much as I hated to admit it, he was smart. He wouldn't just believe I'd ended things with her so abruptly.
"Use your words, Drew. " Arash snapped, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I stared at him impassively and delivered everything to him. From the accident to the break up.
I waited for him to say something. Anything. And when he didn't, I actually regretted spilling my guts to him.
"You're telling me you broke up with her at the fucking hospital? " he thundered.
I drew my head back, shocked at his anger. I couldn't say I was shocked that he hadn't said anything about my dad sending goons after Kate. He was close to me. He knew almost everything there was to know about me. Other than what happened when I was younger though. That was something I'd never tell anyone.
"I had to. I didn't want to endanger her any further. I felt bad as it was, seeing her like that on that bed. " I dragged my hand down my face, "It wrecked me. "
"I actually thought you were smarter than this, Drew. But you just proved me wrong. " he got up from the couch, pacing. "I'm not an expert when it comes to relationships – "
"I don't even know why I told you about this. "
"–But even I can tell it must have hurt her do damn much. " he narrowed his eyes, "I mean, she was in pain for fucks sake. And if she really cared about you, which I think she does because of that interaction I witnessed at the bar, then she must have been devastated. "
I could only shut the hell up and stare at him in shock.
"Hell, I didn't see any love declarations in those texts. " his lips twitched with humor, "I didn't expect that from you though but at least you could've acted like you cared. " he paused, "You did, didn't you? You had to. You don't just date a girl out of charity. " he leveled those piercing eyes on me, "You hurt her pretty damn bad, Drew. You shouldn't have broken up with her at that hospital. That's the lowest thing you could've done. "
Hell, I'd hurt Kate so fucking much by breaking up with her. And I didn't even know how she was doing right now.
"Damn. Did I just give you relationship advice? " Arash gawked.
"I'm finding that hard to believe. " I murmured.
"I'm as shocked as you are, my man. " he clapped me on the back, sitting back down.
"Shit. I fucked up. What do I do, Arash? "
And the asshole grinned. "Simple. You grovel. Rutledge style. "
I swear, I just wanted to break his fucking teeth so he'd stop grinning. I couldn't wait for him to be in my shoes eventually. I was going to savor the fuck out of it.
And I think it was really fucking pathetic how I'd broken up with Kate 'cause I thought it was the best thing for her, but I couldn't even fucking survive two weeks without her. Apparently, I didn't care about her enough to let her go. I wanted her. To myself. Consequences be damned.
I had to make this right.