Chapter 40

Chapter Thirty-Seven
Pre-Trauma Tiffany
I tried to talk to Noah later that day because I wasn't sure what he was doing.
We were supposed to talk about how we kissed so we could figure out what to do and what it meant - if it even meant anything at all in the first place.
When he doesn't say anything and talks to me just like he would on any other day, I assumed we would just ignore it and pretend it didn't happen which frankly, I still think is an amazing idea.
Then he kisses me again out the blue like that's a normal thing to do.
When I was hoping to talk to him at lunch, the boys ended up having soccer practice so I couldn't talk to him. I spent the lunch listening to Amy tell us girls Australia stories that made me want to rip my hair out because I still wanted a reason to not like her but couldn't find one.
I waited outside the locker room at the end of lunch, hoping to run into Noah so I could figure out what was going through his mind when he pulled this shit.
Noah walked out of the locker room, talking with two guys. Because I was standing off to the side, he didn't notice me and continued walking.
I stepped forward and grabbed his arm, yanking him back.
"What th- oh, sunshine. Pleasant surprise," he grinned as he saw me, crossing his arms over his chest.
I narrowed my eyes as Noah turned to the other guys and waved them off before turning back to me.
"What the hell are you doing? We said we were going to talk! That does not mean you just come and..." I trailed off, not wanting to finish. I glanced around the halls to make sure nobody was listening and luckily the halls were pretty empty.
Noah leaned against the wall, watching me in pure amusement. "Just come and kiss you?" He finished my sentence, speaking casually.
I smacked his arm, "Shut up!"
"What?" He feigned a look of innocence, quirking an eyebrow. "That is what happened - twice, if I do recall correctly."
"Noah," I muttered, giving him a flat look to let him know I was not in the mood for joking right now because I wasn't. We needed to talk and make this go away so the kissing didn't continue no matter how mushy and maudlin it made me feel.
Noah licked his lips, still amused, "What? You're telling me you don't want me to kiss you again?"
"I-" Noah took a step closer to me causing me to back up but since there was nowhere to go because we were in the corner by the locker room doors, my back hit the wall. Noah smirked triumphantly as he took another step closer to me causing my breath to hitch in my throat. My heart started pounding against my chest when Noah was merely an inch away from me. If he leaned down any more, his lips would once again be on top of mine.
I don't know what happened to me but every time Noah got this close to me- which he seemed to be doing a lot lately -everything around me seemed to freeze. My body would freeze and I would forget how to move or push him away. My thoughts would freeze and no words would come out of my mouth.
It didn't use to be like this but now, around Noah, I felt like I was a pile of jam. That didn't make sense but that was how I felt and I lost all the ability to use my senses properly.
"You see," Noah's lip twitched upwards in a grin, his voice low and whispering now. "I think, you do want to kiss me again. And again. I also think that I have an affect on you that makes you forget everything you wanted to say."
Noah was right because as much as I wanted to push him away and slap him across the face before walking away, I couldn't. I couldn't move.
Noah leaned down ever so slightly, his lips brushing across mine.
He then shot me a smile as he took a step away from me.
I looked at him in bewilderment, not sure what the fuck what happening.
"I'll see you in class, sunshine," He beamed, happily, brightly, amused - everything opposite of me and then walked away like nothing happened.
Functions class I avoided Noah's gaze and his comments he kept turning around to make and instead, made stupid conversation with Luke to keep myself distracted from Noah.
"So, you're coming tonight?"
My eyebrows pulled together in confusion as I looked at Luke, "Coming where?"
Luke chuckled at my lost state, "To Noah's. We're all hanging out and Charlie said you would come."
I clenched my jaw, "He what?"
Luke shrugged nonchalantly, "You and Charlie carpooled to school and he's your ride so Charlie said you would just come along to Noah's. You're going to come, right? I feel like you haven't been hanging with us much."
"I can just Uber home," I mumbled quietly, bringing my gaze to the math papers scattered on my desk.
"What!?" Luke exclaimed, "No! I want you to come, princess. We're just hanging, it'll be chill."
I forced a smile as I looked at Luke, "I wish I could but I have a lot of homework." I knew it would be hard to argue with Luke about this. He always made it difficult for me to flop of plans.
Luke frowned, "But we can-"
"You can do it at my place," Noah turned his chair around so he was facing Luke and I. He shot me a bright smile, "Like Luke said, it'll be chill so you can work on that homework if you want. Unless of course... there's something else stopping you from joining us."
Noah shot me a knowing look. He was even more amused and get cocky knowing that I was avoiding hanging out with the group because I was avoiding being near Noah.
He was damn right too.
I exhaled through my noes and gave Noah a tight lipped smile, "No. Nothing stopping me, I'll be there." I was not going to let his ego grow by confirming that he did have an affect on me.
All I had to do was get him alone and talk to him while making sure there is a good ten feet of distance between us. That way, I will tell him that he needs to stay out of my personal space and stop fucking kissing me.
Noah quirked an eyebrow, "Good."
"Great!" Luke chimed happily.
Oh, how much I wanted to kill both Charlie and Noah was kind of impressive.
Because of Charlie, I was dragged to Noah's house. Of course we had to be hanging at Noah's house of all places too.
Due to my bad luck, Amy was also invited which was amazing because for some reason she had a liking in me and wanted to get to know me because I happened to be the one person in the group she wasn't getting many chance to get to know me.
You may be confused because Amy seems like a very kind and down to earth person that anyone could get along with.
I just didn't like her and her pretty eyes and...
Everything about her was so perfect.
I wasn't jealous because I did not get jealous of girls like her.
"What is it about her you don't like?" Ezra asked me, narrowing his eyes in thought.
I gave him a flat look, "This again?"
Ezra looked at me dully, "I'm just saying, she's been asking about you, wanting to be your friend because you seem to be a hard person to get to know."
"I think we all have that established, Raz." I muttered dully, keeping my eyes trained on my phone screen as I scrolled through Twitter with negligence.
We were all sitting in Noah's living room with boxes of pizza and ice cream, everyone doing their own thing. I don't know why I couldn't have hung out with Ezra while mindlessly scrolling through my phone in my own bedroom.
"I know but she's too... friendly and optimistic to see that you don't like her." He chuckled, finding the situation amusing. Of course he would, he's Ezra.
I rolled my eyes, "It's not that I don't like her. I think she's fine, I just don't have any interest in getting to know her."
"I know that; what I'm asking is why you're so against it," he asked as he tilted his head, looking at me like he was analyzing me. "Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against you doing whatever you want."
I looked at him with a blank face, "Raz... take away a lot of the perkiness and bubbly, cheery, high off skittles attitude and what are you left with?"
Ezra looked at me in complete confusion, now lost on what I was saying, "Um... you would get a...still nice, friendly, compassionate girl?"
I rolled my eyes, "Who does that remind you of?"
"Selena Gomez?" He mumbled, confused and looking at me like I grew a second head.
I smacked his arm, "No, idiot. You get pre-trauma Tiffany."
Ezra faces contorted from confused to an 'Ohhhh' look. He nodded, "Right. Minus the very bubbly attitude, that used to be you. The cool girl with stories to tell who was kind and nice to everyone, easy to get along with. The girl everyone wanted to be friends with."
I gave him a dry look, "Gee, great to know how much I've changed, huh?"
Ezra chuckled, nudging me, "You're still caring and very cool, Tiff. You just..."
"Changed? Put up walls? Stopped caring?" I offered, giving him a dull and emotionless look. "Takes away the caring and coolness."
Ezra shrugged, "You're still you. We all know you're still a good person, you're just harder to get to know and for good reason. You changed because you went through things a lot of people would not be able to deal with, Tiff."
"Yeah, whatever," I grumbled as I stood up and left Ezra, no longer wanting to talk about this. I walked out of the living room before Joy or Luke or Amy or Noah could stop me.
I walked into the kitchen and helped myself to the fridge to get a water bottle.
"Hey,"
I abruptly turned around causing the water bottle to fall out of my hands. I looked over to lock eyes with Cade.
I let out a sigh of relief, thanking God for it not being Noah. "Hey, Cade," I mumbled as I bent down to pick up the water bottle.
"Sorry," he mumbled sheepishly as he walked over to me. "Didn't mean to startle you."
"You didn't, I just- uh, nothing." I smiled awkwardly, "How have you been? We haven't talked much." Cade and I still talked a bit in English but we got a new seating arrangement so now I sat a foreign exchange girl who didn't speak english.
Cade nodded his head towards the back doors, silently asking if I wanted to go outside. I nodded and followed him out the door.
"I've been alright, you?" He asked as he closed the sliding door and took a seat with me on the patio chairs.
I sighed, leaning back and looking at the sky that was changing colours as the sun was setting. "I've been okay."
"Why do I feel like you want to be anywhere but here?" He chuckled softly, giving me a sheepish but knowing look.
"What? No, I'm glad I found you. Frankly, you're the only person in this house I actually don't mind talking to right now," I chuckled awkwardly. I felt like I was suffocating being stuck in a room with the group. It was just Noah who had gotten in my head because he did, in fact, have an affect on me.
Cade laughed and shook his head, "I didn't mean with me. I meant with group."
My cheeks heated up in embarrassment, "Oh! No, you're right. I love everyone but they're very..."
"They can get suffocating sometimes?" Cade offered, finishing the thoughts I couldn't seem to word properly. He read my thoughts perfectly.
I smiled sheepishly, "It's been a while since I've had people who constantly want to be around."
"It's not a bad thing, though?"
I shook my head, smiling lightly, "No, of course not. I just need space sometimes. I'm not like my brother - I keep to myself and am used to dealing with shit on my own."
Cade nodded in understanding, "I get that. You could always learn to let other people help you deal with those things, though." He gave me a soft smile.
I shrugged lightly, "I know. There's just things nobody knows about me that I don't really think I'd want them to know anyways."
"It can't be that bad though, right?" Cade asked softly, eyebrows pulling together in thought.
"Right," I let myself confirm his thoughts even if it weren't fully true. "Just things in Saratoga were different, that's all."
Cade nodded but could clearly tell from my manner that I wasn't going to get any more specific than this so he changed the subject, "Anyways, this new girl seems nice." I was grateful he knew when to stop asking questions about a topic unlike his brother, however this new topic wasn't any better.
I clenched my jaw as I smiled softly at Cade. Of course Amy was the subject of conversation. "She is. I don't know her well, though."
"Yeah, I don't know much about her either," Cade shrugged lightly. "Noah told me he was her tour guide."
"He did?" I muttered through a tight lipped smile, looking up at the sky, watching the orange and pink start to fade into a blue as the sun set.
"Ah, I asked who the unfamiliar face was. Noah surprisingly didn't seem too interested," Cade chuckled.
I looked at him as my eyebrows pulled together, "Surprisingly?"
"Oh," Cade saw the slightly confused look on my face and understood that I wouldn't really get why it was surprising. "Well, like I said before, he used to have a player reputation. Seems it's changed now, though."
I nodded, looking away form Cade again, "Right, people change."
"Hey... what are you guys doing out here?"
Cade and I both looked over when the sliding glass door sounded along with Noah's voice.
I stood up and looked at Cade, "I should get back to Luke and them. We'll talk soon."
Cade returned a smile, nodding as he watched me head inside.
Noah opened his mouth to say something to me but before he could, I pushed past him and walked into the house.
The rest of the evening, I spent occupied with beating Luke, Leo, and Charlie in Mario Kart.