Chapter 42

Chapter Thirty-Nine
Good Morning to You Too
I blinked a few times to adjust my sight to the sunlight that was beaming through my room in the morning. My eyes still slightly droopy, I looked over to spot Noah.
He was lying on his side with his head resting on his arm that was bent so his elbow was sticking outwards. He was looking me, eyes also droopy and a soft and lax smile on his face as he looked at me.
I groaned as I turned so I was also lying on my side and facing Noah, "Watching me sleep, Ace? Not creepy or uncomfortable at all."
A soft chuckle left his lips, his eyes lit with amusement, "I was taking in how peaceful it is when you're asleep - no annoyance or glum responses from you."
I rolled my eyes, a small grin on my lips as I looked at him, "I can't see or hear you when I'm asleep, of course I wouldn't be annoyed."
Noah grinned, not offended but rather more amused by my comment, "I don't think I annoy you. I think you like having me around but you won't admit it."
I narrowed my eyes in an 'oh-really?' manner, "Not so sure about that but...if it helps your ego float, go ahead."
Noah scoffed, "You can admit you're falling for me, sunshine." He spoke so calmly and evenly, I was surprised at how easily he managed to say that with full confidence like he knew it was true.
I looked at him with a blank face, "Are you sure you're not just shadowing your own feelings onto me? Because I know I'm not."
"Not what?" Noah asked me innocently, playing dumb although he knew the answer.
"I'm not falling for you, Ace." I stated firmly, my voice soft and somewhat quiet.
Noah's lip twitched upwards into a grin, "Nah, still don't buy it."
I scoffed and shook my head as I started to get up but was pulled back down by Noah. A small yelp left my lips as I fell back down onto the bed, Noah hovering right above me.
"So you're telling me this close proximity doesn't make you speechless?" Noah quirked an eyebrow, looking at me challengingly but still amused.
I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I laid there with Noah's face a few inches above me, my mouth slightly agape and unable to let out a sound because all I could think about was Noah's breath hitting my face and the way he looked at me with his eyes twinkling with emotions I couldn't read because I was... speechless, just like he said.
A smirk etched onto his face, "See," he whispered. "You're falling for me, sunshine."
I blinked.
Then, without thinking Noah leaned down and softly kissed me with tenderness and passion. I couldn't process much before my lips started moving against his.
Noah's hand moved to cup one side of my face while my hands were placed on his naked chest. As our lips danced together, my whole body heating up and filling with fuzziness, my hands somehow trailed up into his hair, tugging lightly.
A groan escaped the back of Noah's throat as he took my bottom lip between his teeth and pulling it lightly, the bite soft and making me want to arch my body further towards his but I refrained from doing so, not wanting to give in more than I already was.
His teeth let go of my lip but he didn't give me a second to pull away before his lips were once again on mine, placing a long but gentle kiss before he pulled back.
I was breathless as I opened my eyes and looked at him, letting my hands fall from his hair. Noah's face was once again hovering above mine as he grinned down at me.
My mouth agape, I stared at him still completely forgetting how to mutter out a single syllable.
Noah gave me another long look before he rolled over and hopped out of bed. I watched his back muscle flex as he leaned down and picked up his shirt, throwing it over his head and heading for the door.
He turned to look at me before he opened the door. I sat up in the bed, looking at him in stun, not sure what to do or say because I wasn't making sense of what just happened - again.
"Good morning to you too, sunshine." He shot me a smile, showing his perfect teeth before opening the door and walking out of my room, so casually it was like he was never even here.
Later that evening I went to Noah's house because I knew I had to talk to him. After the past few days along with this morning, I couldn't avoid having this conversation with him much longer because I didn't want this to go further than it already has and I also had no idea what Noah was thinking right now.
I anxiously tapped my foot on the ground as I waited for the door to open. To my surprise, a smiling Colton beamed at me.
"Tiffany! What are you doing here?" He asked as he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the house before hugging me tightly.
I laughed as I hugged him back, "Hey, Colt. I was just here to see Noah, is he home?"
Colt nodded eagerly as he pulled me further into the house, "He should be upstairs. Wanna play Mario Kart?"
I smiled down at the cheerful kid, "How about we play a round after I see Noah? I need to talk to him but we can play before I leave."
Colton frowned a bit, "Promise?"
I held out my pinky for him to take with his, "Promise."
Colton smiled once again as he hugged my pinky with his before he nodded towards the stairs for me to go see Noah. I waved him off as I reluctantly made my way up the staircase before I could chicken out.
I knocked on Noah's bedroom door before opening it but he was nowhere in sight. I slowly walked further into his room, closing the door behind me to leave it as it was before I came.
"Blood hell!" I yelped startled, jumping back when Noah appeared out of nowhere and scared the life out of me.
Noah looked at me in absolute confusion as he zipped up his hoodie, walking out of his closet, "Tiffany? What are you doing here?"
I caught my breath, a hand still placed on my chest as my heart beat a mile a minute from the scare, "I... Jesus, Noah. I needed to talk to you."
Noah chuckled as he walked over to his bed and plopped down, intrigued, "Wasn't expecting a visit from you but seems like you couldn't get enough after this morning. What's up?"
I tried my best to ignore his comment and not think too far into it.
Instead of taking a seat on the bed with him, I walked over and pulled out his desk chair so it was facing him and sat down on it. I knew it was best to keep as much distance as possible between us, "About that... we should get some things cleared up."
Noah's eyes gleamed with intrigue and amusement but face slightly contorted into a confused look as he sat up a bit, "What things?"
I cleared my throat and looked around the room, trying to avoid Noah's gaze. I fiddled around with my hands in my lap, "Ace, this... thing that's been going on - well it needs to stop."
I looked up at Noah hesitantly, not sure I wanted to see what he was thinking.
The amused grin was wiped off his face and instead, he looked at me with a blank but more serious expression when he realized I wasn't in the mood for jokes.
He licked his lips, "Be straight forward, Tiffany. What are you trying to say?"
I clenched my jaw as I looked at him with a blank and unreadable expression, "I am... I'm not a relationship person, Noah. I don't do relationships and I'm not sure what's going on between us but you need to know that we aren't on the same page."
Noah looked at me blankly for a moment, taking in my words and choosing his wisely. "Is it because you don't want it or because you're forcing yourself to not be ready?"
I narrowed my eyes, taken aback, "What does that mean?"
Noah shrugged nonchalantly as he sat up straight, "You said you don't do relationships. I think you like me and do want to be with me but whatever it was that hurt you is holding you back from letting yourself be happy with someone again. Because you're scared. Is that it?"
I almost choked, completely stunned that Noah said that and with so much calmness and causality in his tone. My mouth was left agape, unable to form words because I didn't think he could say something like that so abruptly.
I scoffed, "You're offended that I am rejecting you and telling you I don't want a relationship so you're turning it around and finding whatever deep scars I'm hiding?" Noah wasn't completely wrong with what he said but I wasn't going to tell him that.
Noah's face was so blank it almost scared me. He was just as good at hiding his emotions as I was. He licked his lips again, "I'm not offended because I'm not surprised. I knew eventually you would push me away, it was just about time since every time we seem to get close, it's what you do. You're so used to being hurt that you don't see when someone is trying to appreciate you so you just push them away."
My eyes narrowed down at him as I sat up straighter on the chair, ready to leave but somehow not getting up just yet, "You don't know me, Noah. As much as you try to dig out whatever is buried and understand what's going on in my head - you do not know me and you never will understand me or anything I have gone through. You have no fucking right to say all of this stuff about me like you even know the first thing about me."
"Tell me I'm wrong," he retorted bluntly, looking at me with analyzing eyes and not getting fazed by my clear anger at him. "Tell me what I am saying is wrong, Tiffany. I may not know you or know the first thing about anything you've been through but I know pain and can see when it's there because I've been in pain before too."
I blinked as I looked at him callously. I didn't know what to think because what he was saying was true.
Noah knew nothing about me yet he did understand me better than anyone. Maybe even better than Ezra in some ways.
It scared me how he was reading me like I was an open book written in a large font.
I'm beginning to trust him which scares me because I'm giving him new ways to hurt me every single day but the strange thing is, I don't think he'll actually ever hurt me.
"I am not a relationship person, Noah," I repeated calmly, in an even tone. "I don't know what you think is going on here but this... thing you're doing needs to stop because I do not want a relationship nor would it work out even if I did. I'd appreciate it if you... stopped - with the kissing and mixed signals and different intentions."
Noah looked at me for a moment before responding curtly, "You know I like you and want to be with you. Anyone with working eyes can see that. However, I'm not going to force you into a relationship, so, okay."
My eyebrows pulled together, "Okay?"
Noah nodded, "Okay. Was there more you expected me to say?" He spoke so dully and without emotion being shown that it was scary because he was never like that. In fact, I was the one who was like that so maybe I was getting a taste of my own medicine.
I blinked, confused. "No... I mean, well - with the past while being weird, yes, I thought you'd have more to say." Part of me was glad he said okay so easily but part of me remained confused and a little disappointed that he took the defeat so easily and didn't argue with me about this.
Noah folded his hands in his lap, "I'm not going to argue with you. I think you like me and you know I like you but you don't want a relationship. I respect that as much as I want to be with you." He meant his words but his tone was so distant and detached thatI didn't like where this had gone.
I blinked a few times, "You're no-"
Noah cut me off, "What do you want, Tiffany?" He sighed, now sounding drained out and just not in the mood. "Do you want me to argue with you? I will but what's the point, really? You're right, I don't know you or what hurt you. I can try to change you or convince you it's okay to move on and accept that bad luck doesn't follow you and that it's okay to open up to people but do you think you're going to listen to me? Go ahead, continuing living in whatever shadow of misery you're already in."
Now I stood up. I scoffed and looked at him like he just grew another head, not sure if he was being serious, "How the fuck can you be that inconsiderate and douchey? You act like I'm some depressed lunatic who thinks the world just ended but you have no idea what I've encountered so how can you say all that so easily? I mean are you really that heartless, Noah?"
Noah gave me dull look as he leaned back against his headboard. I had never seen him look this lifeless and unamused and honestly, it kind of hurt. He sighed dramatically, not genuine at all, "I'm sorry, Tiffany. It's not like you walk around all peachy, bright, and open for me to assume anything different than you being a depressed lunatic - is that what you said? I'm just being honest with you at this point. Do you think it's been easy to see you hurt because all I want is to make you smile but I think it's best to give up at this point. How are you supposed to help someone who doesn't want to help themself?"
I gaped at him, tilting my head and crossing my arms over my chest because it felt like I was looking at a whole other person who I didn't know. This was not Noah.
"Seriously? Do you want me to apologize for being scarred?"
"No, of course not," Noah sat up, now sounding the slightest bit guilty for his words. "I just don't know why I thought I could be that message that showed you things can get better. I was wrong."
My eyes softened as I looked at him, "Noah... these things I've got weighed on me are going to take their own time. I just haven't... whatever the case is with me and what I've gone through doesn't give you any right to say anything like what you've said."
Noah scoffed as he sat up, "I apologize for wanting to help, T." He shook his head with a dry chuckle leaving his lips.
I narrowed my eyes once again taken aback by his attitude, "Help?"
Noah stood up, "Maybe you're right. This wouldn't have worked out either way." Noah looked at me with a cold look in his eyes, "I said okay. I will stop with the kissing and mixed signals and different intentions. Need me to say anything else or have we got things cleared up?"
Noah quirked an eyebrow as he looked at me and waited for a response, clearly satisfied as he retorted some of my words back to me.
Clenching my jaw, I gave him a blank look, "All cleared up, Ace."
Noah nodded curtly, "Guess I'll see you at school then, sunshine." He didn't look at me once more before he had walked by me and left his room.
This interaction had definitely gone much, much different than I had expected.