Chapter 45

Chapter Forty-Three
I Feel Like a Honey Bee
The weekend after Noah disappeared for a while, he didn't come to school the following two days.
When he did come back, things were just as they had been the past few weeks.
Noah would be fine, laughing and talking to the others while him and I acted like we didn't even see the other person standing a foot away from us.
"You could just talk to him. Confront him, tell him to get over himself," Ezra muttered dully, shrugging.
It was Friday now. I couldn't stand to be stuck in the cafeteria having to see Noah because it made my stomach twist and chest feel like there were bricks lying on top of it.
Ezra came through in the hallway with me. The two of us sat on the ground with our legs stretched in front of us and backs leaned against lockers.
I refrained from rolling my eyes, "Raz, he's made it more than clear I'm not welcome in his life."
"Then maybe you should get over yourself and let yourself be with the guy," Ezra chuckled, shaking his head at me.
I looked at Ezra and gave him an 'are you serious' look, "Really?"
Ezra shrugged nonchalantly, not feeling bad about what he said so abruptly. "Yes, really. It's not like you guys aren't in-love with each other, pining to be together. This is just a big ego and self-immolation thing."
I gave Ezra a horrified look with my eyes wide, "Self-immolation?! This is really nothing like that, Ezra, are you neurologically impaired?"
Ezra laughed out loud at my comment, very amused. He buckled over and clutched his stomach, goofy like he used to be when we were younger, "I'm joking, relax. Although, in a way I'm also being serious."
I gave him a dull look before looking away from him, "Whatever. Noah is not in-love with me and self-immolation should not be joked about."
Ezra scoffed, "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Tiff."
I rolled my eyes in response.
I'm not sure how but later that night I ended up getting dragged to a party.
I was hanging out with Jade after school at the mall and then we went out to eat. She ended up bringing me to a party without specifically saying it's a party we're going to.
I couldn't blame her because she just wanted me to loosen up and have fun and unlike Ezra and Charlie, she didn't understand why I didn't like parties.
"Tiff, you're here!" Luke exclaimed loudly when Jade and I walked into the crowded house. He ran over and crushed me in a big hug, almost causing the two of us to topple over.
I chuckled as I lightly hugged him, "Somehow I am."
"You good?" Charlie said quietly to me when Luke pulled away from me. "I mean, I can drop you home if you want."
I forced a smile, "No, no, I'm okay."
"Really?" He seemed surprised, raising his eyebrows.
I shrugged, "Yeah."
Now that I was here, I may as well try to enjoy myself rather than complain about being here. I didn't want to ruin the mood for everyone else either so I would suck it up and deal with it just like I did with everything else in my life on a daily basis.
"Let's go play beer pong!" Leo grabbed my hand and started pulling me away before I could object or comprehend what he had said.
"Leo!" I groaned when we got to the kitchen where a beer pong table was being set up by some guys I hadn't seen before.
Leo gave me a wide smile, "Partner with me and I'll show you how much of a professional I really am."
I bit my lip and pondered for a moment before nodding my head, "Fine, bu-"
"Hell yes!" Leo exclaimed proudly and happily, throwing his hands into the air.
"But-" I cut him off speaking louder and giving him a firm look, "But I'm not going to drink. I'll play but you can do all the drinking."
Leo nodded, "Fine with me. Let's beat their asses."
"We heard that, man," A cute brown haired boy said from across the table, grinning.
"And we're going to beat your asses," His friend, an attractive dirty blonde haired guy with blue-grey eyes said cheerfully, grinning and tilting his head in a challenging manner.
A smile broke loose on my face, "It's on."
Not much later, I learnt the brown haired boy was named Bryden. Brown hair and eyes, hair that fell over his shoulder and could use a trim. The blonde one who had striking eyes and a wide, friendly and somewhat addicting smile was named Landen.
"Holy shit," Leo mussed as he peered at me. I tilted my head and gave him a questioning look. "You don't like parties but this can't be your first time playing. You're fucking amazing at this."
I grinned and shrugged my shoulder nonchalantly, "I know I am."
Landen groaned as he took the pingpong ball out of the cup I just landed it in. He picked up the solo cup and chugged back the beer before slamming the plastic cup back down on the table and looking at Leo and I with a tired look, "Fucking hell, you guys really did kick our asses."
I laughed at Landen's words slurring together.
"I'm out," Bryden mumbled, his words also slurring. He waved his hand and walked off, stumbling into people as he left the kitchen and went to the living room to dance around like an idiot.
Leo gave me an amused look, "You make a good partner." He was a little more than tipsy but still pretty good. His tolerance was very high.
I chuckled as I walked to the other side of the table, "You okay?" I raised my eyebrows as I looked at Landen.
His one palm was on the table as he head hung low and body slouched over, keeping himself up by just the one hand.
He looked up to me, opened his mouth to respond but then instantly turned around and threw up in a plant.
He let out a loud groan as he sat down on the ground and leaned against a wall, holding his head in his hands. Man, was he drunk.
I cringed as I walked past the plant to grab a new water bottle which I then handed to him, "Drink up and let's get you home."
Landen mumbled a barley audible 'thank you' as he took the water from me and chugged it while I sat down on the ground beside him. Leo was still hanging around, talking to some other guys he knew nearby.
"Thanks for the help," Landen muttered as he twisted the cap back on the water bottle. "I usually don't get this wasted."
I laughed, "No worries, I just want to make sure you're safe."
"Why are you helping?" He asked me curiously, peering at me with a soft look on his face.
I shrugged nonchalantly, "You're a nice guy and my beer pong skills are the reason you're this wasted. I don't have any reason to leave you passed out in your vomit, right?"
A smile broke loose on his face. Landen's eyes were a little droopy from the alcohol in his system. He chuckled softly, "Touché. Can I ask you something?"
I nodded.
"You're Noah's girl, right?" He asked with his eyes narrowed in thought as he recalled something. "I mean, I just ask because I don't want to get my ass beat by him if I hit on you."
I laughed out loud at the end of his comment and tried to ignore the weird feeling in my chest when he called me 'Noah's girl'. I shook my head softly, "No, I am not his girl and you're drunk so no point in hitting on me."
He gave me a small smile, "True."
"Anyways," I cleared my throat as I stood up and brushed off the back of my pants incase there was dust or something. "We should get you home. Leo said he called an Uber."
Landen nodded as he attempted but it was useless so I reached down and helped him stand which was also a struggle because I wasn't too strong.
Then, with Leo's help, him and I managed to help Landen get up and get outside to his Uber we had gotten him.
"Thanks," Landen smiled at me when he had gotten into the car, just before I closed the door.
"No worries," I returned the smile. "Drink a lot of water when you get home. Take some Advil too, okay?"
He nodded, his head swaying side to side, "Will do, thanks again. I owe you."
I smiled again as I shut the door and watched the car go down the street and disappear.
Leo was leaning against the porch support with his arms crossed and a goofy smile on his face as he waited for me.
"You don't have to wait around for me," I mumbled as I looked at the ground and ignored my cheeks heating up in sheepishness, feeling bad that he was with me instead of inside partying.
Leo laughed softly, "I want to and think we all should stick around with someone we know anyways."
I simply nodded as we walked back into the crowded house.
I knew he was referring to what happened to me at the last party I went to. Now, at least one person would have to be with me at all times just so everyone in the group could be at ease. I didn't mind since I wasn't planning to make a lot of appearances at parties but still felt sheepish.
"Sure you don't want a drink?" Leo asked, speaking loudly over the music as he placed his hand on the small of my back and led me through the crowd of dancing teenagers.
I shook my head, "I'm good. Surprised you're not drinking more, though."
Leo grinned a little as he shrugged, "I'm alright for tonight. Not in the mood to get blackout drunk,"
I laughed at his plan. We stopped in an area between the kitchen and living room where there wasn't as many bodies making it suffocating. Leo and I leaned against the wall and watched the party that went on around us.
"Ezra always comes to these things but just smokes a cigarette or two and makes sure everyone gets a ride home," Leo told me. "Did you go to parties with him back where you use to live?"
I shrugged as I looked at the sweaty and dancing bodies while some people sat on the couch and smoked joints and other people made out with each other. "More than I do here." I decided to keep my answer short and simple.
Leo nodded his head along to the music, his body slightly leaning on me from the tipsiness. "Every time I'm drunk I feel like a honey bee."
That caught my attention. I looked up to Leo since he was taller than me, my eyebrows raised, "A honey bee?"
Leo nodded, a cheeky smile on his face as he thought, "Yup. Something about them buzzing around and flying and making honey and spitting pollen or whatever it is. If I was going to be any creature in the world it would be a honey bee."
I could sense the alcohol in his thoughts as I smiled, "My drunk spirit was more of a parrot. The flying around and chirping was like singing and dancing on tables."
Leo laughed as he pictured it, "That sounds so much fun. Just the type of drunk I would get along with - so would Luke."
I grinned, "Speaking of, where is Luke?" I glanced back to the main room and darted my eyes around thinking I would see a very hyper and dancing Luke somewhere between the bodies.
That's when my eyes came to a halt and my face drained of all emotion, leaving me standing there staring at a familiar person across the room with a blank look on my face.
"See hi- what happened?" Leo looked down at me, noticing the sudden mood change. Leo looked away from me and tried to follow my line of vision to see what I was looking at.
Across the room was Noah who was holding a beer bottle in one hand while his other arm was snaked around the waist of a familiar redhead.
Noah was leaned down with his eyes shut as he kissed Amy, both their lips moving together.
The sight drained out the sound of the music along with the presence of everyone around me.
I felt my gut rise into my throat, the familiar feeling of choking on a sob taking over my body. I swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the suffocating and chest-squeezing feeling.
I felt my eyes start to feel damp as I blinked away any tears because I was not some pathetic, weak, school-girl who was going to cry over her crush that didn't mean anything.
I was so much stronger than this and had so many serious things happen to me, it almost made me want to vomit at myself for being like this.
Crushes are very heartbreaking things, if you think about it. It's strange how much you can go through but still be hurt over a stupid boy in the end of the day.
What is this democracy?
Noah pulled away from Amy with a smirk resting on his face as Amy kept her hands lying on his chest, keeping him close to her.
It was as if Noah could sense someone peering at him; he glanced away from Amy and his eyes locked dead on mine.
The colour drained from his face although the room was dimly lit with some lights flashing, I could still see. The smirk fell right off his face as he looked at me with an expression I couldn't read.
I didn't have time to figure it out because before I could comprehend what I was doing, my feet started bolting out of the room as my eyes pricked with tears that dared to leave.
"Tiffany, wait!" I heard Leo yell out behind me, very slow and confused as to what was going on.
"Tiffany!" I faintly heard Noah's voice shout behind me as I pushed through the crowd and ran out of the house, my feet making me sprint far, far away from the house.
Eventually, when I was far enough and away from the house where the party was, and when I was breathless and could no longer run, I finally stopped.
It took me a minute to see where I was.
I didn't know where I was.
I was standing in the middle of a dark an empty road. A park down the road with a lamppost that dimly lit the rest of the road but barley. The scene gave me deja vu.
Eventually I called an Uber home and then shut my phone off before jumping right into bed and getting under my covers, wishing more than anything that my bed would swallow me whole in this moment.