Chapter 43

Chapter Forty-One
Cosmic Force
Three weeks had gone by and it was radio silence between Noah and I.
As much as it agitated me that this is what it was like now, I wasn't going to do anything about it because Noah had made no effort to talk to me either and I was no the type of person who was going to change for some guy and go confess my deeply shoved down feelings for him so we could end up happily ever after.
All the points have been established.
This was for the best.
I may miss him and want to hang out with him, I may also hate seeing him everyday, I may hate the questions arose from everyone in the group, I may hate that he laughs at Amy's stupid jokes and stories but I was a much stronger person than this and am frankly, very good at keeping a guard up - even if that meant coming off as a stone-cold, heartless person with no feelings and emotions.
Three weeks and I was starting to get used to Noah and I being on these weird and unfriendly terms.
It's easier sitting behind him in math no matter how awkward it felt.
It's easier talking to Ezra to pretend I wasn't noticing him talking to Amy although it shouldn't matter anyways because she was everyone in the group's friend at this point.
It's easier to take a minute to close my eyes and inhale and then exhale deeply before walking over to the group where Noah was, hoping that intake of fresh oxygen would help me refrain from glancing at him and stop my thoughts from wandering to the times he kissed me so easily and softly.
I may not sound convincing but trust me when I say all of this. It is getting easier.
However, it has also helped me to see that I had fallen for him much, much more than I thought which was sucky but I was very good at adjusting to new things and dealing with sucky situations.
I had been through much worse anyways. This was nothing.
When I got home, I was surprised to see the group gathered in my house.
Actually, I was not surprised.
What did confuse me though, was the serious looks on their faces as they talked. Everyone seemed anxious and riled which made it clear the conversation wasn't light and casual but rather serious and worrisome.
I knew something was off when Luke hadn't noticed me come in and come over to hug me. He always did that no matter where we were.
Ezra, Noah, Amy, and Leo weren't here but the rest were.
"Hi guys..." I said very slowly as I walked into the kitchen where they all were standing around, my eyes narrowed as I looked between all of them. "What's going on? Why is everyone so serious?"
Luke looked at me first. His face was exhausted and worried, almost looking like he could burst out crying at any moment.
I glanced at Charlie who was holding Jade close to his side. He gave me a sheepish look like he felt bad I had to hear whatever this bad thing was.
"What?" I snapped impatiently when nobody had said anything. They all just looked at me in concern. "Will someone tell me what the fuck is going on?"
Charlie looked at Luke expecting him to tell me but Luke only ran a hand through his hair, lightly tugging on his hair in frustration.
Charlie could see the fret and agony in Luke so he sighed and turned to me, "It's Noah. We don't exactly know where he is?"
"What?" I practically sputtered, my whole face contorting between worry and confusion. What the hell was he talking about?
I didn't think I heard him right for a moment. When it clicked in my mind that Noah was missing and this was seriously troubling and not something to brush off, I felt like I was going to vomit as my insides churned with anxiety.
Luke's voice cracked when he continued to explain in place of Charlie, "Today's... not a good day for his whole family. Something happened not too long ago that I shouldn't be the one to tell you about. Noah... has never handled it well. He's been out all morning so we thought he was keeping himself busy but then it started getting later and later and he wasn't coming home or replying to anyone's texts or calls."
I looked between Luke and the others who seemed equally panicked and unsure of what to do. They all knew what this bad thing that happened was since they had known Noah for years.
I was confused and a little speechless.
I couldn't think about whatever terms Noah and I were on right now because all I was concerned with was where he was and whether or not he was okay.
I felt terrible because all day I was out occupying myself at the boxing gym, sitting at the pier letting my thoughts wander, and sitting in a book store reading because I wasn't in the mood to interact with anyone. Meanwhile, all this was happening and I left my phone off so I had no idea.
"His brothers and parents are home waiting for him to show up since we've checked every place we know," Jade spoke softly as she leaned off of Charlie's side and looked at me with a tight frown, clearly seeing that I was shook by this news. "Ezra's taking a drive around to some local spots to check again and Leo's checking some of the soccer fields. Amy... she doesn't need to be involved in this so we didn't bother telling her."
"We all came here in case he showed since we hang out here more," Kai mumbled, adding in softly to catch me up completely. "We also didn't want his house to feel more suffocating with all of us standing around there. His moms pretty torn up."
My stomach was in a tight knot that didn't seem to be able to get untwisted.
"I could... I could try to call him?" I offered weakly and unsurely, my voice quiet. They all knew Noah better than I do so I didn't see how I could be of much help although I wanted to do anything but stand here right now.
Luke sighed softly as he took a seat at the table and put his head down in his hands while his elbows were propped up on the table, "No point. He may even answer if it was you calling but his phone is powered down. The call won't even go through."
I clenched my teeth tightly as I looked at the ceiling, feeling the familiar sense of useless and helplessness.
"Okay..." I nodded slowly as I tried to remain calm about this since everyone else was doing their share of being panicky and shaken. Someone needed to remain on a tighter grip even if I wanted to punch a wall right now. "I'm assuming it's been reported to the police?"
"Yes," Joy croaked, her eyes bloodshot. "I'm... I'm sure he's okay. He's Noah, of course he's okay but the Coates have ties with the sheriff anyways so they're aware."
"Did you tell dad?" I turned to Charlie, my eyebrows raising. "I mean... small town, he's got to know people too, right?"
Charlie nodded, frowning, "Dad knows. He's at the Coates' place right now with Noah's parents."
I exhaled deeply through my noes, not liking this feeling of being absolutely useless. God knows where Noah is right now and what shape he's in. The least I could do was suggest something slightly helpful but there was nothing.
"Can we track his phone? Or his car or anything?" I suggested restlessly, clenching my fists at my sides to restrain myself from punching the countertop.
"Already tried," Luke murmured weakly, sitting in the same position with his head in his hands. "His car doesn't have a tracker and phone is shut off so can't be tracked."
"He doesn't want to be found," Charlie said softly as he stared at the ground. Some of the other's glanced at him when he said this. "He clearly wants to be alone but for all we know, he could be lying in a ditch somewhere. What are we supposed to do?"
"Any word from Leo or Ezra?" Jade asked, also wanting to be of more help.
Kai scrolled on his phone as he responded, "Nothing. They haven't found him but they're still looking."
"Tiff," Luke looked up finally, uneasiness in his eyes. "Is there anywhere... you think he may be that we might not have checked? I just mean... you and Noah were close."
I bit my lip as I thought. I shook my head slowly, "There isn't... I mean, you all know him better than I do. I... I wish I knew."
Luke nodded understandingly, "I know. You and Noah, before whatever fallout you had, you guys were still close so please, just... I don't know, think. Anywhere?"
I ran my hands down my face as I thought but I was blanking.
Noah and I weren't even all that close.
We only ever hung out with the group or at either his house or mine.
Then it clicked.
The dock.
Noah said he went there to get away from everyone and to be left alone.
If he was nowhere else, that's exactly where he would be. It was perfect in his case because nobody knew about it except for me.
"I think I-" just when I perked up at the thought of finding Noah and him being okay, I was cut off when I was about to tell the others I had an idea as to where he was when Luke's phone started ringing and all eyes darted to him.
Luke scrambled for his phone, almost causing it to fall when he finally got it out of his pocket.
Luke spoke into the phone, "Hello- Any news?- Really?- Okay- Figures, yeah- Okay, we'll be there soon." Luke hung up and turned to look at all of us, "That was Cade. Noah's back home. He's safe but apparently drunk but we should go see him and make sure he's okay."
Everyone sighed out in relief, clearly seeming more at ease as they all grabbed their keys and things and headed to the door to leave.
Charlie pulled out his phone to call Ezra while Kai called Leo to let them know as well.
"What's wrong?" Luke turned to me, his eyebrows pulled together in confusion.
"What?" I muttered, turning to look at him. "Nothing, why?"
Luke chuckled lightly at me confused manner, finding it amusing that I was confused as to why he was asking me what was wrong. "You're not coming?"
I blinked. My face contorted to a look of realization, "Oh! No... no, I don't think that's a good idea. I'm really the last person he would want to see right now so you guys go. Just keep me updated on how he's doing, okay?" I gave Luke a tight lipped smile that was supposed to be convincing.
Luke scoffed as he crossed his arms over his chest and looked at me with his head tilted, amusement running in his eyes, "You're delusional if you think he won't want to see you, princess. I'm not leaving 'til you come with me."
I smacked Luke's arm lightly, "Stop it, no. How are you so casual when your best friend has just been found after going missing? You were about to cry a minute ago and now you're standing here with me?"
Luke scoffed, "I was not going to cry. And, he's Noah and he is okay and will be my best friend tomorrow too. He's okay and that's all that matters. He's at home with family, and friends on the way so he can wait an extra ten minutes before hearing the wrath of Luke." Luke grinned smugly. "Anyways, you gonna come with me now?"
I gave Luke a flat look, copying his pose and crossing my arms over my chest, "No, Luke. I'm being serious, he doesn't need me there. You should really go, the others have already left."
Luke gave me a straight face, "I am serious too, princess. You're saying you don't want to see him and make sure he's okay for yourself?"
I bit my lip and thought, debating if I should continue to argue with look.
I sighed, "Of course I want to fucking see him and talk to him but you know that Noah and I are not on good terms. Me being there won't help and he's already got enough to deal with." Why would Noah ever talk to me after how our last conversation went down? Me going wouldn't help anyone.
Luke licked his lips, "Look, I know you guys aren't on good terms but I also know that this is you and Noah we're talking about. You guys have this, like, cosmic force that keeps you connected and in the end of the day, you both will always care for and want to be there for each other. You guys may not be talking right now but I know Noah. He is hurting and I know for a fact that he won't talk to anyone right now including me. However, I have a pretty strong feeling he will talk to you."
"How do you know that?" I mumbled softly, tilting my head a little.
Luke smiled softly, "Because... when Noah looks at you, it's like he's been living in a black and white universe and he just saw colours for the first time. These past weeks not being able to talk to you, all the colour in his life just went away and it's back to black and white and all he's been trying to do is remember what life was like before he knew what colour was."
I took a moment, a little stunned before I spoke calmly, "When did you become so deep and poetic?" I tried to ignore what Luke had just said but it was very difficult to do so.
Luke chuckled as he swung an arm around my shoulders and started walking me out of my house, "Always been, princess. You're just seeing it now."
"How can you even say that?" I grumbled quietly as I locked the house door behind us and followed him to his car. The others had already left carpooling to Noah's.
Luke smiled as he got in the car and then turned to look at me when I got in shot-gun, "I'm not usually this poetic, princess, but this is Noah and he's my best friend. I can read him better than he can himself."
I inhaled and exhaled deeply through my noes as I looked at Luke who was grinning softly.
I turned and looked away and that's when Luke chuckled at my speechless and now quiet manner and backed out of the driveway.