120 | NO REST

*I can’t lose anyone else. I just can’t*. Over and over, those words replay in my head, louder and louder until they’re all I can hear. The still-healing ruin in my chest would spontaneously combust if I did, I’m now one-hundred percent sure of it.

The Revenant escaped yesterday, leaving it’s lackey behind to be destroyed by Hale and Zoe. Ms. Jin had her hands busy trying to keep Mikyle from risking his still fragile sanity in even attempting to fight. My nerves are completely fried from a completely sleepless night of fretting over my mate. *He almost died. I was almost too late*. A few more seconds or just the slightest inch to the left and the Revenant would have ripped into an artery. As it was, I had to feed my mate some of my own blood to keep him from going into shock from blood loss while the others were busy.

I monitored Blue all night, practically boring holes into his bandages and willing them to heal faster. But crushed bones take a while to realign and fuse, even for nearly purebred Wolven like Blue. He was out for hours, sweating and making groans of pain in his unconscious state that scored fresh marks into my heart. Doc Blythe came by every few hours to check on him, but I refused to allow anyone else near my healing mate.

The overprotective growls that would come out of me kept the majority of the Azures away, but Yuri and Cole ignored me until they saw their Alpha with their own eyes. They got one look at him before I chased them away, making sure there would be no threat to my mate while he recovered. Deep down, I knew it was a bit of an overreaction on my part. It’s not like the Azures would try to overthrow their Alpha while he was trying to heal, but try telling that to the wolf in me.

Even now, I’m scanning the open area for signs of approaching forms. Every gust of wind that rustles the leaves feels like a threat. As if I’m waiting for the Revenant to attack in broad daylight. I know, of course, that the likelihood of it coming back for round two so soon is close to impossible…but it’s the unknown factor in that ‘close-to-impossible’ that has me on full-alert.

“Red,” Blue murmurs my name gently, sweeping some of the hair from my face so he can look directly into my eyes. I blink, searching the monochromatic flecks of light and dark grey dancing in the silver there. We’re sitting outside the school, our lunch trays stacked emptily off to the side, the noon sun hanging gloriously in the clear sky above.

Blue’s crouched in front of me, worried eyes trained on mine as his mental presence soothes the jagged edges of terror still flaring too brightly in my head. *I almost lost him yesterday*. The shocking thought hurts me as much as it had the moment I watched my mate hit the ground, and makes the protective instincts in me flare even brighter than they had been burning last night.

“Red,” Blue’s eyes soften, one of his hands reaching up to cup my cheek and remind me he’s right here. He’s fine. He’s healing. *But he almost died*. Blue sighs and leans forward, pressing a light kiss to my forehead before he stands and offers a hand out to me. “Lunch’s over, we’ve got to get you to class.” He reminds me gently. I nod, not speaking a word as I get to my feet and pretty much invade the remaining space between us. I press close to his side, sticking to him like a second skin and not willing to budge an inch out of his orbit as we walk back into the school.

This is the hard part: being away from him. Just outside my Economics class, Blue pauses, turning to wrap his arms around me. I hug him back, gingerly wrapping my arms around his waist and allowing his warmth to engulf me. The soft fabric of his long-sleeved shirt rustles against the stiff bandages around his forearms where the break was. My throat gets tight when I recieve the audible reminder of his ongoing healing and bury my face into his neck, brushing my lips across the mark hidden just under the collar of his shirt.

Blue shivers, gooseflesh fluttering to life from my too soft graze. I listen as his heart rate ticks up and his breathing becomes uneven. Though I’m enjoying being in his arms, when the warning bell rings, I allow him to pull away and look down at me. His silvery-grey eyes are burning with their usual intensity as they search mine.

“I’ll see you in Astronomy,” He reminds me, his voice only just audible as the sounds of scrambling students comes back into focus. My mate rubs one of his rough hands over my cheek lightly before leaning in and pressing a lingering kiss to my forehead. “Call me if you need me.” He murmurs when he pulls away, tapping the side of his head and looking at me meaningfully.

I nod to him, trying to ignore the churning fear in my gut as he steps out of my orbit and turns to get to his own class. There’s a beat of absurdity where I want to run after him, grab his hand, and drag him back to the house. I’d board up the windows and doors and we’d live like shut-ins, just the two of us, safe. I close my eyes and shake my head, forcing the stupid imagery from my brain before ducking into my Econ class.

I ignore the sharp look of annoyance my instructor gives me as I dazedly enter the classroom, a beat before the tardy bell rings, and take my seat at the back of the class. I don’t bother paying him any mind as he launches into the usual lecture on whatever it is we’re supposed to be learning. Instead, I stare out the window, watching for signs of the Revenant making his return, and mentally touch-base with my mate a few classes away.

*Fine, Blue’s fine*. I tell myself, more than once, over the next forty grueling minutes of Economics. None of the instructors have been pushing for me to actually do anything in their classes today. They’ve all been made aware of Mom’s passing and that I’ve been out of sorts since. I’m just required to attend each class and sit there, which I have been doing, even if I’m a few seconds from bolting when each class ends.

I feel like a strung out junkie by the time I reunite with Blue in Astronomy, scooting our chairs so close I nearly turn our separate chairs into a bench seat. Blue silently wraps an arm around my shoulders when I take my seat, leaning in to murmur in my ear. He reminds me he’s alright and that the school day’s almost over. We’ll be home soon. He doesn’t lie to me about the situation. He doesn’t bother telling me we’re safe - cause we both know we’re not. He doesn’t offer false promises - and for that, I’m grateful.

I’m noticeably calmer by the end of class, and Blue and I opt out of staying behind for the last period in favor of getting home early. Cole and Yuri stop by after dinner to talk to Blue about Azure business for a while. I force myself to mentally reach out and check on my own Pack instead of doing a few perimeter laps. The Azures are already doing shifts to monitor the territory now that the threat of the Revenant has returned. Both Azures and a few of Hale’s Coven make up the teams of three Blue has patrolling.

My Pack is doing fine, everyone’s humming voices in the back of my mind are tinged with contentment. Even with the next full moon coming up, everything seems to be fine with. Before turning in for the night, I reach out to my Betas and hold a short conversation to update them on everything that’s happened since I’ve seen them last. I recieve heartfelt condolences and promises of revenge from the two older Wolven. Instead of accepting their promise to ‘hunt’ the Revenant, I make them swear to patrol the territory and try to stay in groups whenever they venture out. That gets their attention. The hunters aren’t used to the idea of being the hunted. Though I’m not sure when things will be safe again, I reassure my worried Betas that the Revenant should be more focused on me than them.

By the end of our mental conversation, I’m too tired to do any more worrying about the Revenant, but that doesn’t stop the fresh nightmares from swarming me when I close my eyes. It’s only Blue’s comforting embrace that helps me fall back asleep after I wake up each time. The gentle cadence of his heartbeat in one ear and his gentle murmurings in the other remind me that he’s alive, even if all I see when I dream is the moment the Revenant tore into his throat and nearly killed him.