121 | NO FEAR

Whoever said ‘time heals all wounds’ was an idiot. The Hallmark saying is practically thrown back into my face at every turn as the days pass by and my teachers become less inclined to allow me time to grieve and freak out in silence. I lose track of how many times I’m pulled out of class by the councilor, Mrs. Archibald, for ‘grief counseling’.

Hale’s in and out of class more than I am, working with Mina and the Court to track and monitor the new situation that is the Revenant. He’s made more Revenant lackeys that they had realized, and there’s now media coverage on deaths via ‘exsanguination’, aka blood loss, because of them. Several towns near and around Colton have mandatory curfews in place and…well, it’s a real shit show.

Mina can’t leave Court to help Hale physically, so she’s been monitoring everything from Colton and trying to train new Guardians as quickly as possible. Hale mentioned once that Guardians and those vampires who are eligible for such a line of work were trained to protect and serve - an elite sort of bodyguard, but also something like royalty themselves. I know there are other Courts around the world to monitor their own local vamps, but what shocks me is that none of those places have bothered to offer assistance.

*Sure, it’s not really their problem, but exposure should be on their radar, right?*

One day, I catch Hale before he ducks out of school and ask him to train me. I’m like him, a Guardian by birth in the eyes of the vamp world. *Why shouldn’t I also be trained to handle this mess?*

Hale just stares at me, fear flickering in his jade eyes as he scans my face with that look of grief that hasn’t faded since we laid Mom to rest.

“We’ve got this, Sunshine.” He finally whispers, but even I hear the lie in his voice. He used to be such a fantastic liar before Mom left us, now I can always hear the lie in his words. With a heavy sigh, my father pinches the bridge of his nose and squeezes his eyes shut. “I can’t risk you-” He finally amends, the truth burning through his words.

“It’s not about us!” I snap at him, my voice rising and bouncing off the halls. I let out a hiss of breath and lower my voice. “It’s not about us.” I repeat, watching as he warily looks back to me. “This was an event.” I keep my tone steady, ignoring the boiling of my blood and fierce storm of emotion roaring to life at the reminder of my failure. “It’s my problem, too. I can’t just sit on the sidelines while this happens. Not if here’s a way I can help.” I insist, glaring at him until his jade eyes turn steely. “You said I was like you.” I remind him, recalling the day we discussed it. It feels like a lifetime ago.

“You are *like* me, Sunshine, yes; but you are *not* a centuries old thing that has the training and knowledge and experience to back up your lineage.” Hale’s words are true and clear, but they also make me flinch back, like I’m a child being chastised for trying to follow her father on a hunt… Which really isn’t far from the truth.

“If I never get the training, I’ll never have that capacity.” I reply back when my hurt has backed off enough that my voice is strong. I glare at Hale as the seconds tick by. The sadness in his eyes ebbs a little, replaced with a hint of pride and understanding. After along long, soul-searching look, my father finally lets out a defeated sigh.

“You are indeed my daughter,” He murmurs, more to himself than me, then his eyes go skywards and I see his lips move, but there’s not audible sound. “Alright, Sunshine, I’ll see you trained.” He relents, looking back to me. “I will have Elliot visit you later today to launch your training.” He seems to relax a little when I don’t argue. “My trip shouldn’t take too long, Mina only wants me to assist in naming a Guardian Core Captain.” My eyebrows shoot up in surprise at this news.

“Does that mean she’s got some new vamps to train?” I ask, deducing that, if the Queen is ‘naming’ a Guardian as a captain, this means she’s got a couple vamps that need the leadership.

“She has about five freshly turned who’re in training.” Hale nods and I feel my nose wrinkle at the word ‘turned’. Hale had mentioned that the turning of a human to vamp was something that happened, of course, but not often…and for a Guardian to be made, if I’m understanding the whole vamp-hierarchy correctly, means that someone of equal rank or higher must have ‘turned’ the humans. There aren’t many of those…really only Mina, Hale, Mikyle, Mina’s Guardian Fang, and myself, who would be able to do that. At least, that’s what I think, but since I don’t know about any other Covens in the US, I can’t be one-hundred percent sure about that.

“Yes, well,” Hale grimaces along with me, his jade eyes darkening a little with a different kind of sadness. “As much as I dislike the transformation process for humans, I know it’s a necessary evil at this point.” He confirms the grossness of my thoughts, and a queasy feeling riles up the tangled mess of my guts as I begrudgingly nod back in agreement. “You’d better get back to class, Sunshine, the substitute will be here any moment to take over the lesson for today.” Hale nods towards the classroom door behind me.

“We’re just doing ‘silent reading’.” I growl at him in annoyance, my voice flat with annoyance. Hale’s lips quirk and the smallest flicker of humor dances in his eyes.

“Indeed.” Hale replies with a quick raise of his eyebrows, eyes flicking to the door, then back to me expectantly. I wrinkle my nose and him, rolling my eyes, but move forward into the solid wall of his chest briefly.

Before he can react, I wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face into his neck, giving him a hearty squeeze that helps smooth out the rough mess of my heart. His signature apples-and-iron scent warms me a little, even if his body is just a few degrees colder than the average. With Mom gone, he’s my only parent left, and he may be something that I once hated with every fiber of my being, but I can’t deny that he’s my father any more than I could deny that I occasionally turn into a wolf.

“Be careful out there,” I warn him softly before releasing my father and ducking back into the class. My classmates glance up when I walk back in, then return to their books, most hiding cellphones behind them, and I make my way to my seat.

Blue looks up at me when I ungracefully drop int my chair beside him and give him an eye roll. My mate’s eyebrow quirks up and we carry out a silent, conversation in which we discuss this this about the Court and how things are looking up. Blue may not be thrilled that I want to learn to be a Guardian - mostly because that implicates that I may leave my Wolven duties behind to become part of the Court - but his worries are thin at best. He knows I’m more wolf than bloodsucker, he knows my loyalty to both him and my own Pack will keep me here for a long time.

On the other hand, he’s trilled that I’ll finally get to train to be more able to take on a Revenant. We both know it’s only a matter of time before we’re attacked again. We were lucky last time, but we both know that that was just a warm up, that the King will be smarter next time, and undoubtably bring more than just one lackey.

I pretend to read while Blue and I talk through the connection in our minds, catching up on things we’ve been tired to verbally discuss of late. With this new task ahead of me, I can feel my natural ability to cope surfacing to rise to the occasion and help me focus on something besides the aching cracks in my still-healing-heart. My nightmares have come to keep us both awake at night, the constant terror of attack definitely isn’t helping my emotional state, but I have a feeling that learning to be a Guardian will help do something about that.

Later that day, the bookish vampire I’ve met with on occasion shows up with Zoe at my house. Blue’s gone off to deal with Pack business, something I vehemently argued with him against since I’m still freaked by the Revenant’s previous attack; but I let him go when Yuri and Cole show up, eager to take their Alpha to the Pack after nearly a whole week away. I make Blue promise to check in every thirty minutes and keep our connection wide-open in case either of us senses an impending attack. It’s not a fool-proof plan, but I feel incrementally better having it in place.

Elliot and Zoe start me off by measuring my strength and speed against their own. Zoe is stronger that Elliot, but Elliot is faster than Zoe. Then the two gang up and start attempting to measure my reflexes and intuition, teaming up to fight against me in my backyard. Within minutes, the area that was once covered by freshly blooming trees and new foliage is looking more like a trampled war zone. An hour later and trees get toppled. By the time Blue comes back from the Azure territory, I’m out of breath, limbs like jelly, and fighting a serious thirst.

Zoe and Elliot inform me that we’re done training for the night, and Hale will pick up my training tomorrow. Zoe smirks and lets me know that both her and Elliot are nothing compared to Guardians. Her dark eyes glimmer with a sadistic light, and I feel my stomach sink, knowing I’m going to feel like shit after my training tomorrow, but also just a little lighter for having something to occupy my mind at the same time.

I fall asleep in Blue’s arms, unable to stop the nightmares from visiting me once again, but still wake up up the next morning with a clearer head than I have in weeks.

*Bring it on.*