85 | ALPHA

My head’s still intact, I know this because it hurts like I’ve just had the whiplash of the century and gone ten rounds with my cousins. And, of course, there’re are other signs I’m still alive… like the whispers that greet me as I regain conciousness.

*Alpha. Alpha. Alpha*. The indiscriminate voices chant softly - like back up singers.

I groan, flinching as their noise steadily rises in volume, sending red-hot spikes through my already aching head. *Why the hell am I hearing the Azures right now?* Normally, Blue keeps up the wall between us, making sure their thoughts don’t weasel their way past his own head. I slowly become aware of the arms wrapped around me and something draped over my body. Blue’s signature parchment and pine scent fills my nose as I turn blindly into his neck. His arms tighten a little, their pressure gentle but firm.

“Blue, control your people.” I whine in an almost broken rasp. *Hell, even my throat hurts.* Every time I move, the brush of new clothing rubs against my sensitive skin, not painfully, just letting me now its there. Someone must have cleaned me up and dressed me. I can’t sense or smell blood on my skin, fresh or dried.

“They’re not mine, Red.” Blue murmurs aloud in my ear, pressing his cheek against mine and forcing my face towards his. I hum softly as his gentle lips skate over mine and shiver as hot tingles roll through me, my eyes fluttering open to searching for his.

"What?” I blink at him blearily, the silvery-grey kaleidoscope of colors dancing with barely restrained mirth and…*pride*.

*Alpha. Alpha. Alpha*. Again, the words hum through my head. *My* head. *Just mine*.

“Congrats, babe.” Blue smirks at me as the reality of the situation sinks into me. “You’ve got a Pack now.” I stare at my mate in horror, feeling the odd cloud of minds hovering at the edges of my thoughts.

Emotions and words swirl through some twenty-eight - no, *thirty?* - entities. Thirty Wolven that make up the majority of the Berner Pack. Somewhere in the vastness, I can also sense broken connections, freshly departed slots where some must have either died or deserted. I shudder, my mental capacity fluttering over the anxious thoughts of the Pack - *my Pack* - as my inner wolf automatically goes to soothe them.

*Alpha. Alpha. Alpha*. The voices hum their favorite chorus, though not all voices are particularly happy as they chant. It’s more like an begrudging acceptance.

“You defeated their previous Alpha, so, by rights, you’re their Alpha now.” Blue reminds me, using one of his hands to smooth my hair and bring my attention back to him. “A Tiger shifter, Red.” His silvery-grey eyes are bright as he grins at me. “You took out a feline shifter all on your own.” He repeats and I frown at him in brief confusion.

“I got lucky, Blue.” I insist softly, mentally dampening my connection to the Pack. Blue presses a finger to my mouth, shaking his head slowly.

“I tried to take him out a few weeks ago, me, Yuri, *and* Cole.” Blue admits quietly. “We couldn’t even get close to him without almost getting torn to pieces.”

“I…used one of the vamp-” I try to explain, my throbbing body humming with all the aches and pains that come with exercising weak muscles. It feels like I shredded bits of my own brain, then tried to piece them back together with hot glue. The rest of me is exhausted by the physical toll of fighting against the chords while also dealing with the Cat. I shudder as I recall my last move, the sickening rip of jaws splitting, bones crunching in the wake of my body smashing through them, and all that blood…

“Yeah,” Blue frowns, his eyes darkening as his hand reaches up to move something pale into my line of sight. A thick lock of silvery hair. Then he reaches for another, and another. My eyes widen as I stare, almost cross-eyed, at the three newest locks of silvery hair. Last I checked, my hair was still the same shade of blood-red with a few strands of silver here and there. Less than six total. But this…these three are more than a few hairs dyed silver. They’re as thick as my pinky - three of them. “You need to be careful, Red.”

“Believe it or not, that *was* me ‘being careful’.” I breathe, reaching up to take the strands in my hand. I flinch as pain roars from my palm and stare at the thick bandages that coat every inch of my hands - from fingertips to my wrists.

“Your hands are taking longer to heal than your other wounds.” Blue takes one of my hands in his and brings the bandaged palm up to his mouth. He places a kiss on the center, so light and soft all I feel is a slight heat from his skin. “Doc Blythe and Doc Quin came to check on you last night. Hale got you some fresh blood and even Misha helped out.” Blue gently tucks my hand where it hand been resting on his chest before.

My mate’s fully clothed beside me on my bed - my room around us empty as usual - aside from a long pole with an IV bag dangling from the top. I follow the line to Blue, frowning as I glance back, seeing the arm that’s wrapped around me - under me - has the IV line attached to it.

“Why’re you…” I begin, frowning up at my mate.

“I was out patrolling with the guys when most of the Berner Pack attacked us. It’s why I wasn’t able to get to you in time.” Blue explains on a tired sigh, flashing me a weary smile.

“Is everyone-” I feel a trickle of alarm zip along my spine. Blue’s quick to soothe my fears, even cupping my cheek lightly and sending calm emotions through our bond.

“Yuri and Cole are in the infirmary, both on the mend, but they won’t be one-hundred percent for a few hours.” He tells me in a gentle voice. I feel my muscles relax again, but I’m not entirely convinced.

“And you?” I narrow my eyes at him, wondering why he’s just laying here while his men - his cousins - are laid up in the infirmary. *Shouldn’t he be there too? Getting help?*

“I heal quick, Red.” Blue murmurs gently. “All Doc Blythe could do to help the process was to give me some fluids.”

“You okay?” I repeat the unspoken question still burning in me. I can see he’s physically okay, but the fact remains that he’s still here.

“Yeah,” Blue tells me, truth ringing through both the bond and his voice. “We’re all safe. That’s what’s important.” He reminds me and I mentally agree with him.

“At least the Berner thing’s taken care of.” I sigh, relaxing against Blue’s arm.

“Thanks to you.” Blue grins at me. I flash him a grin, enjoying the spark of praise and warmth in his eyes for a moment.

“I just wanted to keep Darine safe.” I admit, frowning a little at how this all turned out. It hadn’t been my goal - or even a thought at the time - I just knew that I had to take care of the Alpha myself if I wanted both me and my friend to survive. “Is she-?”

“Not a scratch on her.” Blue soothes me yet again. “Yuri wanted me to tell you that he owes you for that, by the way.” Blue adds with a knowing grin. I smirk back and let out a soft laugh.

“I’ll hold him to that.” I sigh and look up at Blue, allowing my mind to wander as I speak. “Thirty Wolven, Blue. I’m an Alpha of a Pack of thirty.”

“And the Berner territory.” Blue agrees with a slow nod, his face becoming a little guarded as another flash of worry rolls through the connection.

“I don’t want to leave Kiwina.” I frown at him, not sure why he still thinks I want to run. Maybe it’s not even something he actively worries about, but more like a knee-jerk reaction based off our shared past. It hurts a little to still see the echoes of fear in his eyes when it’s not necessary anymore.

“That’s a relief to hear,” Blue lets out a dark chuckle. “But you can’t just leave the land and take the Pack. I’m sure most of them have lives in their territory.” I think about that, resting my head back on his shoulder to process it all.

“How big of a territory could they even have?” I wonder aloud, turning it into an almost amused question.

“Think it’s something like the majority of New Hampshire.” Blue murmurs into my hair, creating a warm spot on my crown.

“Oh is that all?” I hum in a slightly-too-high voice, my eyes going wide. Blue chuckles, running his fingers through my hair again.

“Our territory is just as big - if you count the Coven’s land.” He reminds me. I give a non-committal huff, mentally comparing the space and feeling my mouth twist into a grimace.

“It’s still a lot of land. Especially if we’re going to be keeping that many Wolven in line-” I explain my logic, stopping mid-sentence when Blue tenses under me. I tip my head up and give him a narrow-eyed glare. “You realize you’re still stuck with me, even if I’m now an Alpha like you.” I deadpan, locking eyes with my mate. Blue’s incredulous expression smoothes, the last traces of fear fleeing his monochromatic eyes as they brighten with obvious delight and relief.

*“‘Course,”* He all but chokes out, his voice breaking a little. I bite back a giggle as a faint flush colors his pale cheeks and he clears his throat. “Of course…I just…” I lean up and press a light kiss to his floundering mouth. His tense body relaxes under my hand as he deepens the kiss.

*Alpha. Alpha. Alpha*. I groan, pulling back as the intrusion of my Pack - a phrase I’m still having a hard time getting used to - begins to grow louder. Blue smirks and pulls back, look down at me, and I know he can also hear them through the bond.

“You should probably go talk to them.” Blue advises.

“Great. Where are they anyway?” I huff, carefully sitting up as the aches begin to fade away. I can already feel a sort of soreness rising in my bones and brain, but the worst of the pain ebbs.

“They’ve been camped out in your backyard ever since we brought you home.” Blue tells me, the delight in his eyes growing as I cringe. “Now you know what it’s like to be an Alpha.” He chuckles, pressing a quick kiss to my temple and carefully removing the IV tether from his hand. “Never a moment’s peace.” He sighs wistfully and lets out a chuckle at my horror-stricken expression. “C’mon, Red,” He holds his hand out to me and leads me from the room.