35 | JOINING THE CIRCUS

“Remind me why we even bother with things like school?” I groan into my food a week later. It’s the third time in the last fifteen minutes that Blue’s had to gently nudge my knee to stop me from falling asleep in my meal while I’ve been attempting to eat it. I’m so exhausted, not even the huge thermos of blood-spiked-coffee I downed before lunch has sucessfully managed to stop me from dozing in between classes. It’s a miracle I’ve even managed to eat half of the literally bloody spaghetti in my self-packed tupperware. Or spilled it all over Blue, sitting a step below me on the bleachers. I pack the half-eaten food back into my backpack before I can destroy the precious sustenance or ruin Blue’s shirt. Blood’s not easy to get out of clothes.

Things have been flowing smoothly from the Coven’s spies, God bless the vampiric troopers whereever the hell they are. Over ten vamps have been steadily tracking down strange events and locating the more obscure yet powerful supernaturals in the South and West of the country. They’re not on my trust-list to intervene on anything, but they really haven’t had a need to. If it weren’t for their careful and clinical assessments and timely reports, we’ve been able to get a good idea of what kind of activity is going on around the country. All the while, the illustrious Nikki’s been MIA, hopefully meaning the next few events have shifted enough that they’re not anywhere near us just yet.

All I really have to do is have everyone on my trust-list focus on their current assignments while I go through the reports from the spies. Which is easier said than done. Since the reports are different each time I get them, and done in a way that makes textbooks look like baby books, it takes me hours to go through them when I get back to the Coven from school. And because I’ve been juggling school and reading the reports on the impending apocalypse, I’ve been unable to get more than an hour or two of sleep every night - morning - whatever. It’s starting to become a serious problem.

“Because we’ve got nothing better to do?” Yuri supplies around a mouthful of baby carrots. He’s pretty much back to his normal self by now, though his foot keeps tapping or his knee starts bouncing randomly and he really just seems like he has too much energy. I’ve wondered if there’s really any kind of drug that could possibly explain the phenomena, but Wolven metabolisms don’t allow for us to take or use drugs, so that’s out.

“Because we, as a society, need a baseline work-force?” Darine huffs under her breath. She’s only half listening to the conversation, her nose all but buried in an SAT book, though I wonder if she realizes yet that she doesn’t need to study for a test she’s already taken. My human friend’s looking almost as sleep deprived as I feel, however, and don’t hold it against her.

“Pretty sure you’re the one who said you wanted the ‘high school’ experience, Red.” Blue murmurs to me over a book. It’s one of the thinner ones I’ve seen him toting around for Hale’s book club.

“How do you have that much time on your hands?” I hiss at him in annoyance, practically falling into his lap as I lean over his shoulder trying, and failing, to read the tiny script. Blue’s reflexes aren’t the slightest bit diminished by lack of sleep, unlike mine, and he catches me, effortlessly maneuvering me in his arms so I find myself sitting in his lap rather than face-first in it. My stomach flutters, but not from the suddenness of my literal fall.

“I’ve just got different things going on, Red. This is my tactic to relax. Maybe you should get one, too?” Blue chuckles, turning the page with his arms still wrapped loosely around me, his chin now resting on my left shoulder though his eyes remain on his book. His scent rolls over me like security blanket, wrapping me tenderly and drowning the frazzled shards of my emotions left sharp by the lack of sleep. The sense of wholeness that always comes when we touch stills the world around us and I feel like I can breathe for the first time in days.

“Mh,” I half-grumble and half-yawn as his warmths soaks into me. In seconds I find myself beginning to nod off yet again, but this time, with Blue’s arms wrapped securely around me, I know it’s safe to take little nap. “Just a few minutes,” I hear myself whisper aloud as the rhythmic sound of my mate’s heartbeat lull me to sleep.


“Don’t freak out.” Blue warns me as I come to sometime later. The gentle rumble of his words reverberating against my ear and whole body. I grumble into the warmth pressed to my face, breathing in the smell of him- And then promptly wake up. My body goes rigid as my mind communicates the position of the sun above us and the slight shadows creeping across the empty soccer field. “I said don’t freak out.” He repeats again, a slightly amused tone to his voice as I jerk up right and look around.

“Why didn’t you wake me earlier?” I hiss at him, the realization that school’s long out for the evening smacking some sense into me before I can really even move. I rake a hand through my loose curls, letting the bright red curtain distract me as I take stalk. I’ve been asleep out here in Blue arms for what feels like five or six hours.

“I tried, but you sleep like the dead.” Blue shrugs, still laying across the bench we’d both been sprawled across. A lazy look of contentment making his lids hang low. “And you’re so cute when you sleep.” He adds with a wicked smirk.

I feel my mouth dry, heart skipping into the fluttery gallop he seems to induce at the worst times. Heat flushes my body as I stare down at him, unsure if I want to hit him or kiss him. I go for the first option, punching his upper arm lightly to try and dispel the tension building around us and cool the burning ache in me. As I move to punch him again, Blue catches my fist and brings it to his mouth, his silvery-grey eyes never once leaving mine as he presses his hot lips to my knuckles. A bolt of electricity races up my arm and sets the heat in me into a more raging fire before I can even think to fight it. My whole body goes tight and I only just manage to regain control before I do something stupid. *Not now*. I think to myself, giving my hormones a mental slap. With everything I’ve been dealing with this month, I don’t think I can think about our situation just yet. *Not yet*.

“I’ve got reports…” I croak out lamely, gently pulling my hand from his. His burning silvery eyes watch me silently, a knowing smirk teasing his soft mouth. My fist has become a loose and fluttery stretching of my fingers, grazing against his like even they’re reluctant to pull away. I clear my throat and avert my face as my skin continues to burn.

“You should take a night off.” Blue suddenly tells me, slowly sitting up and giving me a more somber look. “I know you haven’t seen your mom for more than a few minutes this week.” He adds softly, effectively cooling the fire in me as I think about what he’s saying. I haven’t so much as strayed a mental eye in the direction of his side of the connection since he unblocked me. Whatever made him break the wall between us, I just feel so much better avoiding the slightest possibility that he’d erect the thing again to go anywhere near his side. But just now, I can sense the tiniest bits of sadness filtering from him and the Pack at the mention of Mom. “I know she misses you.” He adds to me, tucking a stray curl behind my ear and giving me an encouraging smile. The touch is as benign as anything, but I still feel a slight flush rise to my cheeks, my heart fluttering in my chest.

“Yeah,” I murmur, frowning as I search his eyes. “I miss her too.” And I find, despite the direction of my thoughts these days, I have been missing my mom. Her constant presence and comfort of having her near the last few months, despite us no longer having a Pack bond, has been oddly wonderful. Though most of the last seven years had been spent with us on the run from the Reiniers and my psychotic grandmother, I always had the certainty of her love and the promise I made to her to get me through the darkness. Now that she’s been around so much, as familiar and wonderful as it’s been, I feel like I’ve started to take it all for granted.

The very idea of spending the rest of the afternoon with my mom brings a smile to my face and I cast a suspicious look at my mate.

“You’re sneakier than I thought you were, Zane.” I tell him, using his real name for the first time since we’ve met. The nickname Blue, once it came to me in a vision, had stuck so tightly that it’s become what I call even in my thoughts. A flicker of silvery-grey bursts even more brightly in Blue’s eyes as I speak his name and he narrows his eyes at me, unable to hide the slight reddening of his pale cheeks as he leans closer to me.

“As are you, Scarlett.” He replies in my ear. And just like the first time he said it, my name falls from his mouth like a prayer. A shiver of heat follows his words as my heart races, my stomach flipping and an overwhelming want humming in the back of my mind. “You’d better get going.” He murmurs, pressing a lingering kiss my cheek before ducking back out of my personal bubble and allowing me room to suck in a shaky breath. “Your mom’s getting off work early today.” He informs me, plucking our backpacks from the base of the bleachers and offering mine out to me.

I look up at him, still flushed and flustered, but feeling genuinely calm and ready for anything after the long rest at his side. There’s something in his eyes that tells me I should take this chance to be with my mom and take time away from the crazy - because we both know this peace isn’t going to last. I take a deep breath and stand, taking my bad and swinging it into place as we make our way off the metal bleachers and off campus. A soothing silence settling as he walks me to my house.