Chapter 16: Weak

I blinked my eyes. My eyelids are heavy but I forced them to open. My eyes rounded as I stared at the ceiling. It was different from the gray ceiling that my bedroom has. I squinted my eyes as the lights blinded me. *Did I leave the lights open?* But my memories from last flooded in my brain. I recalled that the apartment was dark when I went inside. I can still feel the chill of the cold floor against my skin as I remembered sleeping on the floor.

“You're awake?” I heard Shan’s voice and I turned to look at him. That's when I felt the piercing needle on my left hand. I followed the transparent tube connected to it and I ended up seeing a hanging dextrose pack hanging on a stand beside my bed.

“Why am I here?” I asked Shan. “Why did you take me to the hospital?” I started to get up.

“Easy, you're still weak.” He said as he grabbed my shoulders and helped me get up.

I sat up and looked at him sitting beside my bed. “Listen to yourself. You're so weak to even speak in a normal voice.”

I looked down. My throat is sore. Was I screaming?

“But how?” I’m puzzled.

“I went to your apartment at midnight. I noticed you haven't opened the lights ever since you came inside.” He breathed. “I was afraid something might have happened to you so I knocked at your door. When I didn't hear you reply, I tried to turn the doorknob and noticed that it was unlocked.”

My lips parted. *I was so out of it that I left it unlocked last night.

“Goodness, Solene! You don't know how my heart jumped when I saw you lying on the floor when I came into your living room.” He was scolding me but under it was a tone of concern and worry.

“I—I'm sorry.” Was all I could say.

He sighed and leaned back to the chair. He didn't remove his eyes on me. I could see questions in his eyes. I was waiting for them though I’m not sure if I’m able to answer them truthfully.

“Go ahead.” I said.

“What?”

“Don't just stare at me. Go ahead and ask me.” He smiled and shook his head.

“I think I shouldn't.” He said.

“Why?” My forehead creased.

“You're not ready to answer them yet.” He said seriously, and he's completely right. I’ll be sprinkling salt on my wounds if I try to talk about it again.

“You know what, you should take a rest. You fainted last night, that's why I brought you here. They said it was over fatigue and stress.” You should lay down here comfortably until you get better.

*I fainted? I thought I only fell asleep when I my vision was clouded.

“It's natural if you can't remember yourself fainting.” Shan added as he noticed my confused face.

I looked up at him as he stood up from the chair. He stood straight and put his hands inside his pocket. “I needed to be somewhere today. Just press that button at the right of the headboard if you need assistance with something and a nurse will come to you.” I looked in the direction where he jerked his chin and saw a bulging blue button above the bedside table.

“And don't worry about the expenses. My uncle is the owner of this hospital and this room is a VIP room reserved for me just in case.” He winked and smiled.

He was already near the door when he turned to me again. “Just stay in bed.” He pointed my finger at me like he was talking to some toddler. “Be good and behave. Food and water are just beside you so there's no need for you to get up. There's also a pack of wet wipes there.” I just nodded like a good kid.

“Take care . . .” I managed to say before he completely closed the door after stepping outside. From the corner of his lips, I saw a grin forming before he glanced at me one last time and gave me a wave. I smiled tiredly at him.

I sighed. I looked at the bedside table loaded with different kinds of foods. A basket of fruits, a pack of sliced wheat bread, and many more pastries. I also spotted the wet wipes he told me earlier. Bottles of water also stood beside the foods along with fruit and energy drinks.

I looked up at the white painted ceiling and around the spacious room. A sofa was set at one side of the wall with a low lying table in front of it. The room was air-conditioned just at the right temperature, enough to chill the hot weather but not enough to make me cold. There's also a wall-mounted LED television across from me.

My blanket and bed sheet was soft and comfy. It was different from a regular bed covering and blanket at hospital beds. From that I could tell that this really us a VIP room. I can only imagine how Shan carried me unconscious from the apartment to here. I don't dare to think how much money this room costs. This might be worth my whole monthly salary if I decide to pay him back in the future once I already have a job at a company.

I picked up the juicy red apple that's been inviting my appetite. Nevermind of these things. I’ll just think about them later after my energy is back. The single apple weighed heavily in my hand as I took a bite from it. My body has grown really weak.

I stared out of the window and saw birds flying in the sky. I wonder how awkward it would be if I crossed paths with Fire on campus. But I’m already prepared to receive a call from the registrar’s office telling me that my scholarship has been canceled. Fire has the right and power to do that because he was the one that returned it to me when I lost it before.

Then I’ll stop studying, even though I’m already at my final year in college. I plan to find a job. I’ll work for a couple of years until I saved enough money to fund my studies again. It will take me a long time. My classmates will have their own jobs by then, they might have started building their iwn families while I’m still working for my future. I might be late, but it’s much better than giving up.

I have conditioned my mind and prepared myself for the worse things that are yet to come my way. It's better to be like this than getting my hopes up ending being disappointed and clueless where to start again. Shan and Lillian might lend their hands at me but I have learned not to lean on people so much. U should start learning to live on my own. To live for myself. And ti start that, I should love abd accept myself first.

I smiled and let the sunlight kiss my face as it shone through the glass window if the room.