Chapter 4.2: Weird

I found myself sitting inside the car with the man I secretly love beside me. I don't know where we're headed or where he plans to bring me. What matters for me right now is this brief moment that I can be with him.

I focused my gaze on Fire. In his clear blue eyes that sometimes speaks his mind. His thick, appealing eyebrows. His tall nose, and his illegally sharp jawline— my most favorite part of his face besides his eyes. I suddenly want my tongue to feel his skin right now.

*Gosh! What am I even thinking!

Then, my eyes found his naturally red lips. The lips that intoxicate me everytime we kiss. The kind of lips that made me lose my mind several times and made me give everything to him.

I also looked at his body. He’s wearing a simple white t-shirt but the garment failed to conceal the perfectly toned muscles underneath it. His body came to perfection because of his regular heavy-handed training. I suddenly realized how lucky I am to be able to trail my fingers along every lump of his abs everytime we do the deed.

“Are you done?” he casually asked.

“What?” My lips parted, dumbfounded by his sudden question.

He just ruffled my hair and continued driving without answering my question.

Moments like these are the ones I’ll treasure the most. The feeling of being with him, the quick stolen glances I make, and the hidden feelings I continue to hide behind my sweet smiles and flushing cheeks.

Fire brought me into a very unexpected place. He told me some of his bitter and sweet memories. For a moment, he bared himself in front of me. Showed me his raw emotions and true self that I have never seen before. It felt so intimate that I wished in that moment, that I’m the only one he allowed to see that part of him, that he won't let others have the privilege he gave me. *That he will think of me as someone special in his life.

Fire brought me home that night. Before leaving, he gave me a kiss on my forehead that made my brows furrowed in confusion.

He’s acting weird tonight. He has never given me a kiss before.

Despite that, I willingly accepted his gesture.

“Sweet dreams, Ramirez.” He waved his hand at me and went inside his car.

I didn't wait for him to drive away before going inside my apartment. I wanted to hide my face from him that instant because those words tickled something inside my stomach that I’m sure, gave my cheeks a reason to turn red.

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*After hours of driving, I realized that Fire brought me into a cemetery. I was protesting inwardly on why he brought me here of all places. But I just followed him and walked inside.

*I was walking before him and after a few minutes he stopped in front of a gravestone lying on the carpet.

***Amelia Callante**, was the name engraved in it. Fire sat beside it, and I sat beside him. Silence enveloped the air between us. I occasionally glance at him while he only stares at the gravestone.

*I don't want to talk or ask him anything. I wanted him to be the first to talk about it. In the three months of our ‘relationship’, I barely knew Fire. He doesn't tell me anything. Every time that he's done with me, he’ll send me home to my apartment. I don't also ask him anything so I don't know what's going on with his everyday life. I don't even have the right to ask him. Who am I to him anyway?

*“She’s my mom, Solene . . .” he said, shattering the silence between us.

*I stared at him and he smiled, a bitter one.

*“She was my ideal woman. I thought of her as the most perfect person in the world. That's why I told myself before that if I’m going to marry, I’ll marry someone like her . . .” he took a quick glance at me and stared again at the gravestone.

*“But I was wrong, utterly wrong. Mommy was the first person who made me realize that no one in this world is perfect.” He clenched his fist. His jawline got tense and he closed his eyes tightly.

*I automatically reached for his clenching fist and felt it calm under my palm.

*“She was perfect until one day . . . I caught her fighting with Dad. I was young back then, very young to not understand and know the reason for their fight. I thought it was just an ordinary discussion between a married couple.” He stopped and took a deep breath.

*“I only understood everything when I was already in highschool.” He stopped again and looked far away.

*“She was a cheater. My mom was a cheater, Solene. She had another man.” He stopped once more, and this time he looked directly at me.

*“From that day, I started to hate my mom. I started hating her along with the man that destroyed my family.”

*There was something in his voice that gave me chills. I don't know but I felt pain because of what he said. Maybe I just don't want to see him like this, suffering.

*I don't know that this is what happened to him. I only knew him as some kind of playboy who likes to show-off and play in bed. Today I realized that this is where the Fire Dustin Callante is coming from.

*He was only a child when the attention and care he badly needed was taken away from him. He was broken and lonely inside.

*“My mom died together with his other man . . .”, he paused briefly before continuing, “ she's still my mother . . . and I love her so much. I thought her betrayal was the most painful thing that I would experience but I was wrong when my Dad died shortly after she left us. Maybe that's why I grew up as a son of a bitch because I don't have parents to supervise me like other kids.”

*He laughed bitterly and I couldn't hold myself back from hugging him. I felt the shock from his body because of what I did. Even I was shocked too, but only this time, I let myself comfort him. I want him to know that I’m always there for him. That I’m always at his side.

*“Don't say things like that, Fire. I know deep inside that you're a good guy.” I whispered but enough for him to hear it. I pulled away from the hug to look at his face and saw him looking back at me.

*“You don't know me well, Solene. You know nothing about me . . . you will hate me if you do.”

*I just smiled. “Fire, no matter who and what you are, all I know is that you are the only person who helped during the hardest time of my life . . . it's just that you're really a pervert.” I instantly laughed as I saw how the expression in his face turned sour.

*His lips twitched. “The first part was already nice, why do you have to ruin it?”

*“Chill dude, I was just joking. I just want you to feel better.” I patted his back.

*“And you think you did?” He raised his eyebrows.

*“Yes!” I confidently said and I giggled.

*I stopped when he cupped my chin and stared at me intently. I’m burning. His blue eyes were like flames that's burning me.

*“Solene, I think. . .” He breathed and before removing his hand below my face.

*“Nevermind, let's just go. Come on, I’ll send you home.” He said, turning his back to me and started walking away.

*Just now, what was he about to say to me? Fire is getting weird these days.