Chapter 5.1: Sex Slave

“I already stored the fruits that I bought for you in the fridge.” I heard the rustling of plastic bags as Lillian stored them away at my cupboard for future use.

It's Saturday today and as usual, Lillian is with me at my apartment. She sat down beside me on the couch and set a box of my favorite Cassava cake that she brought, along with two forks.

We started eating and I can feel her eyes looking at me. “Sol, what's wrong with you these days? You're neither answering my calls or texts. You got me worried, you know?” She asked in the middle of munching the sweet cassava cake inside her mouth.

I smiled bitterly at her before mentioning Fire’s name. I told her everything that happened to us last week. How he took me to his mother’s grave, how he opened up a fragment of his past, how he was suddenly acting weird, and how I didn't see or hear from him again after that.

Fire disappeared like a bubble. I tried contacting him but I always end up deleting the words that I only started typing on my phone. I don't want him to think that I’m too worried about him. I don't even have the right to be. But I can't help it. Now I'm stressing over it that he's the only one my thoughts are about for a week now.

“My goodness, aren't you used to this girl? Everytime that you have a problem, it always concerns Fire.” Lillian said and rolled her eyes at me. Disgust was painted across her face but I know that it was not for me.

“You know what, Sol? Why don't you just end your stupid contract with him? Stop being his sex slave and return to your normal life.” She said unhinged.

“Lillian, I’m not his sex slave!” I blurted out, defending myself.

“Then what do you call yourself? His fuck buddy? Come on girl, Fire calls you anytime he wants to have sex in exchange for money. What else can you call that besides being a sex slave?” I felt a pang on my chest after hearing her. But what made it more painful was the truth in it.

I pouted and looked down. “I can't do it. That contract is the only reason for me to be with him.” The benefits that I get with it only comes in second.

Lillian scoffed. “I can't believe you, Sol.” I know she's disappointed at me for being like this, but I can't help it. When it comes to Fire, my brain cells seem to stop working rationally. All I know is that I want to indulge myself with the feeling of being with him. Being near him.

A heard her sigh before taking my hand on hers, “Look, Sol” she called my name, a reason for me to look at her, “end that damn contract of yours with him, and stop being his sex slave or anything you want to call it. You already have your scholarship back and I’ll promise to help you find a new job.” My heart was pinched by the sincerity of her eyes. “I just don't want you to get hurt by him any longer. He doesn't deserve you. He’s not worth it.”

I felt my eyes burning as I swallowed hard. I smiled at her. When she didn't receive a reply from me, Lillian let go of my hand. She knew my answer even without me saying it loud. Her face turned gloomy. Her frustration was mirrored in her eyes as she looked at me.

“Just tell me if your mind changes or if something happens.” She said before standing up and leaving me alone in my apartment.

*I felt bad for her. For myself. Does love really make you feel like this? Or I’m just a fucking martyr for my feelings?

I almost jumped from my seat when my door slammed open and saw Lillian taking wide steps towards me.

I didn't protest when she took me into a tight hug right after coming back from walking out earlier.

“You're such a fool, Solene. A big fool. All I want is just the best for you. I don't want to see you get played and hurt by unworthy men.” She said in the middle of our embrace.

My eyes burned. “I know. Stop it, you're making me cry.” I said, my voice shaking.

Lillian pulled out from the hug and held my hands. She looked at me with teary eyes.

“Thanks girl. Thank you so much Lilly . . .” I managed to say.

“Shoot! A-are you crying?” I panicked when I saw tears roll down her porcelain white cheeks.

“I-I'm fine, j—just don't call me Lilly”, she said as she wiped off her tears.

“Okay”, I said and hugged her again.

After that, we found ourselves seated on the sofa in my apartment while watching a movie. I turned to Lillian and saw her so immersed in the film we're watching that I didn't bother asking her about what happened earlier.

I know that Lilly is her nickname but I seldom use it to address her. But I did not know that calling her by that name would make her cry, even tremble.

I wanted to ask her what's wrong but kept my curiosity to myself thinking that if she wanted to tell me, she would without me asking it out of her.

I just felt bad that I couldn't comfort her the way she does with me. With this thought, I slid my arms around her waist and inclined my head down her shoulders. I felt her move closer to me and put her head down mine.

Right now, I just want her to feel that I’m always by her side no matter what happens.