Chapter 31

They had had a fight that night, and two more days to come that Nadia was sure Hussain was trying to avoid her so they wouldn't have to fight again. She had to force herself everyday to act all smiley, ignoring the looks Mufeeda was flashing at him across the dining table and act like the heated look Hussain was throwing at her was in no way affecting her, but in real words, it did.
She wanted to puke every time, she had no appetite and the fact that they hadn't spoken to each other for two days was killing her slowly. She knew Hajia must've noticed what was going on between them but she chose to stay in her lane and see the extent they were willing to go.
As usual, dinner was like a medicine she had to swallow because she had a baby that suckled her at night. She stood up and stared at the curious eyes that glanced at her around the table, exclusive of Mufeeda and her husband now. Funny how if it was before, Nadia would've referred to him as her husband's twin. But he was her husband now and nothing she did or said could change that.
"You've barely eaten anything, Nadia." Hajia pointed out at her plate and she smiled softly.
"I've lost my appetite these days, Hajia." She lamented and when Hajia opened her mouth to speak, she beat her at it again. "Baby H is doing fine, right, Hila?" She asked with a grin on her face, but they all knew this wasn't the Nadia they all were used to. It was as if Hassan had died barely a few days ago and she had succumbed to herself for comfort.
"Second H, you haven't eaten anything either," Mufeeda began, adding more of his favorite dish on his plate and Nadia's eyes caught right when Hussain stared into her eyes and he smiled softly before he nodded and muttered a soft 'Thank you.'
She gulped down a lump in her throat, "I'll retire for the night, Hajia. Hila," she called at Sohila that found it so hard not to notice the exchange that happened between the trio. "I'll take baby H with me tonight."
"Okay, Aunt Nadia. Good night." She walked to Sohila's room and scooped Baby H that was peacefully sleeping in her arms. She felt a certain feeling of comfort radiating from the body of her baby and surprisingly, tears stung at the ends of her eyes but she tried so hard to force them back. She wasn't going to cry. Nothing happened, she had seen nothing and even if it did, she wasn't hurt. It wasn't like she was in love with him...
While walking back to their chamber, Nadia felt her weight with each step she took. She knew she wasn't in love with him, but it was hard seeing his face and not feeling a fraction of what she used to feel for Hassan. Harder to even think that he was going to add another wife before or after they got divorced.
She walked into her room and only turned the dim light so she would be able to navigate herself through the room. If she were the only one, she wouldn't need light to get herself wherever she wanted in the room. But she didn't want to stumble and have Baby H flying around in utter darkness.
She sat down at the edge of the bed and made sure she had Baby H cradled in his baby cot safely with a warm smile on her lips. It was fun how such a small creature that didn't even know who or where he was could offer her such great comfort. The door creaked ajar, but she didn't even tear her eyes away from Baby H's face. She knew it was either Hajia, or Sohila, because all hopes of Hussain walking into that door after the fight they had two days ago has dissolved with that single smile she had seen him flashed towards Mufeeda. Maybe, he really was going to get married to her.
The space beside her dipped on the bed and she winced internally. She didn't even have a proper lie to conceal what was going on with her these days. She turned with the brightest smile she was able to muster and all hell broke loose when she saw him staring longingly at her, she shifted away from him.
"What are you doing here?" She managed to ask, after she was able to calm her heart from the shock of seeing him. She thought he wasn't going to speak to her ever again? She had said words; mean words to him that when she thought about them now, she regretted but she was so stubborn to apologize because of what she had said.
"That's a ridiculous question, Nadia. Why else will I be here?" He asked and fixed his eyes in hers and she had to take her eyes off him because it was unnerving. He was still mad at her, she could tell from the color clouding his eyes, but he was trying to tame everything down.
He stayed silent for a few minutes to calm himself down before he spoke, "We're leaving to Abuja in two days, you have only tomorrow to get prepared. We'll fly to Florida from there."
"I can't remember giving you my passport or Baby H being taken to the immigration office for one." She said the first thing that had gotten to her mind because of how shocked and pained she was. She thought he was there to reconcile with her, to ask them to forget about anything that had happened. Maybe to even tell her that he had missed her because she missed him so bad, too.
But, he was there solely for relying an information to her. Not because he wanted to see her like she thought, she gulped down a lump in her throat. "I'll get prepared." She said, when there was silence coming from his end as he busied himself staring at a sleeping Baby H. "How many days are we going to spend in Abuja?"
She was hopeful, maybe he would say a week before they left. She needed her family, some time away from everything and everyone that reminded her of the Alkali family. Just being herself, Nadia Bukar. But he didn't answer her until he stood up and she had even given up getting an answer from him.
"Two days, that's what we've agreed on, remember?" He walked out of her room and gently closed the door behind him. Nadia didn't know why his dismissive attitude towards her was painful or the fact that she wanted to get his attention and maybe apology even though she knew she was the one that caused the fight between them, but still. If it were Hassan, they wouldn't have taken this long without an apology from him.
Damn you, Hussain!
•
She spent the next day hollering around the house, getting things ready and being on the call with Sohila because Hajia asked her to go to the market and get her all the things she would need. She appreciated Hajia's help, because she was the one that got her luggages ready and before the sun set, Nadia was done with everything and she was anticipating how her life will be with Hussain in Florida.
Where she would be all alone with him, it was up to him to make life a living hell for her or otherwise. As much as she didn't want to interact with Mufeeda, when she came to collect Baby H from her, she gladly gave him to her because she needed some time alone. She was in one of the huts in the garden as she sipped a drink and nibbled at a cookie when she heard Hajia's voice.
"You're deep in thoughts, Nadia." She got startled a bit but when Hajia sat down opposite her, she smiled.
"I was just thinking about leaving you for months, Hajia. It's really not going to be easy and I wish Baby H could be weaned at this age, I would've left him here." Hajia threw her head back and laughed. She had never seen someone that's not so attached to his first child like Nadia, it was as if sometimes she was even afraid of the fact that he was hers and his father was no more, even though Hajia wanted to make that thought vanished from everyone else's mind. Hassan was Hussain's child, forever.
"My poor Hassan, that's not a nice thing to say, Ammi. We're jealous." She said in a playful manner to show that she was in Baby H's side and Nadia laughed. When everything subsided, Hajia pulled her all serious look and began, "You're not happy anymore, Nadia." It was more of a fact stated than a question and no matter how Nadia wanted not to give in, she did.
"I don't know what to feel anymore, Hajia." She admitted and felt her pain clouding her eyes.
"I know how you're feeling, Nadia. It must've been confusing and Mufeeda's presence is surely making it very hard on you to make a decision. But can I promise you one thing?" When Nadia was silent, waiting for Hajia's words, she continued. "So long as you're not the one that ask me to get him married to Mufeeda, he will not. Even if he wants to, I'd rather he gets married to someone else and not her. She's my relative, but I wouldn't hurt you in a way that you'd feel I got him married to someone related to me..." Hajia's words were like a balm in her burning heart.
'And trust me, I'm his mother, Hussain would never want to get married again; unless you want to be separated from him. I can see it in his eyes, he's crazy over you. He's just a little hard to deal with sometimes, but he'll come around, didn't you win his Twin's heart? His isn't anything expensive, either.' These words kept ringing through her mind even at night, after she had hugged Hajia and cried her eyes out in the hut. After they had shared jokes and didn't separate until both women cried, laughed and felt the ease they were searching for.
She tossed and turned in her bed, she wanted to go and apologize to him, she didn't want to go to Abuja while they were fighting. She knew this was the perfect chance for her to show Mama that she couldn't stay married to Hussain. But she wanted Mama to be at ease that she was happy and being taken care of.
So, after so much contemplations, Nadia stood up and was glad that Baby H wasn't with her today. Sohila said she was going to sleep with her baby for the last time tonight. She softly knocked on his door but when she got no response, she turned the doorknob and entered, but he wasn't there. It was minutes past midnight and she was sure he was home. After she had waited for some minutes to see if he was in the toilet and no sign showed that, she walked out.
Maybe he was missing Hassan too, just like she was and he was in the garden. The most peaceful place in the house and where one could isolate himself without being disturbed. She walked silently to the garden and there he was, his legs dipped into the pool and his posture was enough to give way to how ruminative he was. She smiled sadly and walked towards him until she was able to see the body that sat beside him. Not so close, but not so far away either.
She knew Sohila was asleep, or maybe just in her room with Baby H. That wasn't Sohila, that's for sure. As much as she didn't want to believe who it was, she knew. It was Mufeeda, and unlike how she thought Hussain as ruminative and probably feeling lonely, he was having the time of his life. Chatting longingly with the woman he was beginning to love. She felt a surge of an unbearable pain seared through her body and when she took a step back, she marched on a twig and it made a sound that got their attentions back to her.
"Who's there?!" He asked as he stood up and his whole body got drained of life when he saw her. She was no longer trying to run away, she was just staring at him and the eyes of Mufeeda that looked defensive and angry, maybe a little bit jealous.
"I guess I came here at the wrong time." She said and turned on her heels. She was aware of how he was following her and she heard Mufeeda's voice behind them.
"Second H!" She had called, but she could feel his steps not even being reluctant. He walked directly towards her while Nadia break into a run because she didn't want to face him right now. She might ask him to divorce her if she did! He might act up due to anger and do it and she was sure, after what she had felt when she had seen him with Mufeeda, that for now, being separated will be their biggest mistake in life.
And so, she rushed into her room and locked the door. "Open the door, Singleton." He had roared, but she wasn't going to listen to him, didn't even want to see him now.
"Just go away!" She thundered. "Go back to her, somewhere, whoever you want to go to, I don't care!" She was surprised at the sting of pain she felt in her heart and was no longer surprised when she found herself slipping on the floor as she broke into tears. She knew he would hear her, but that was the least of her worries. She missed Hassan, if he were still alive, she would have never felt this kind of pain!