Chapter 33

Mufeeda let go of the curtain she was holding as something painful pierced through her heart. She had thought that she would have a chance with him. All this while, after all these years she had spent loving him with every ounce of her being, but it kept proving, that each and every time she tried harder for Hussain to fall in love with her, he kept running away from her.
Before, Nadia wasn"t in the picture and she was hopeful that she would be able to get him as a husband. And now that he had gotten married to Nadia, if she would be truthful to herself, then Hussain had seen almost impossible for her to get. He had made it clear to her, times without number, that he wasn"t in love with her and never will. And it wasn"t because she wasn"t good enough, at least he was nice enough to say that, but because someone had already had his heart. Or so he claimed, she thought.
Because if he had had someone he loved already, why did he get married to Nadia instead of that woman? Why was it that all this while he hadn"t been married to the so called woman he had told her about and asked her to stop even trying to make him fall in love with her because that would likely never happen so long as this woman was in his life?
She was glad that Sohila wasn"t in the room, and she wouldn"t have to force her tears back because she didn"t want to be seen by his sister. She slumped on the ground and placed her head on her brought up knees as she thought about what this meant. She had known Hussain since when she was in junior class and had been in love with him ever since, it had started with a crush and because she had always convinced herself that she would be able to make him fall in love with her, she let the love grow this much.
But, not after that soft smile on the dinning table, which she deep down knew was to rile Nadia, he had never even for once looked her way longer than a minute. Was it because that the woman he claimed to love was no longer in his life or...she jerked upright when the thought surged into her like a tsunami turn up an ocean. No! It can never be possible! Nadia would never have been the woman he had always been in love with, would she?
But if that wasn"t the case, knowing how could and distant Hussain could be if he wasn"t interested in you, he never would have been this lovely to her. Mufeeda slumped back on the floor as she broke down completely! She was doomed. She would never be able to get him and like they were leaving today, she had to make sure she had the final conversation with Hussain and give the troop of men in her life a chance.
Maybe, she too, would be lucky to be loved as much as she loved Hussain.
•
Nadia angrily threw the black bra she was holding onto the heap of the ones she had been throwing since she came out of the shower. She knew that post partum depression was real, not to top it with the loss she had to endure and the change of a husband she all had to deal with at once, but she had never thought that she could cry over something as flimsy as a tight bra until today.
She was trying to get ready as fast as she could so they wouldn"t loose their flight, because if they did, she knew Hussain would have to make them wait a few days and then she would hardly get to spend a day or two with her family before they left to Florida.
She trudged to the sofa in the room and slumped down, palming her crying face as she felt as though she had been beaten to pulp by someone. Why would her bras choose today to humiliate her this much? Was it because it had been almost 24 hours since she had last fed Baby H? And now, what would she say to Sohila? To bring him over that she wanted to feed him or what?
She heard the door being opened and silently prayed that it was Sohila with Baby H, she really needed to get her shirt on, so they could leave. But when her crying eyes lifted up, as she fought so hard to keep the towel in place and she found a shocked Hussain, she knew she would be done with. Yes, they had reconciled few minutes-or had it been an hour already? But that didn"t mean he was no longer Hussain.
"Nadia, I thought that you"re ready by now? We"re less than an hour to our flight, we should leave now." He didn"t notice the tears on her eyes until he took a few steps into the room, aware of how she had been holding the towel tightly to her chest. He noticed that she had her skirt on already, then why was she sitting on the sofa as if she had nothing more important to do?
"I"m so sorry..." She began, but her tears came in the way that the only thing she could do was cry, and she broke into tears.
He was taken aback and only one thing came to his mind, she was sad that she was going to leave Hassan"s room and maybe she no longer wanted to leave with him. He knew going to Abuja wasn"t what she was crying for, it was leaving the country for her. And they both knew, that still staying in Hassan"s room while they were married made it seem less true, but following him to another country will prove to her in every senses that she was, indeed, his wife.
He took tentative steps as he cajoled his mind silently not to be mad over this. She was a woman and not even her, even he himself felt as though he was being torn within over their loss. He sat down on the vanity stool beside her as she cried, still fighting the towel over her chest to stay in place.
"I'm sorry, Nadia. I should"ve asked you before I applied for the visa and got everything ready. Do you not want to go?" He spoke silently, as in his mind, he thought of how this was the barest he had ever seen her skin and it was damn distracting!
She looked up at him with a bamboozled expression and stopped her tears for a moment, "What are you talking about?" Her lips trembled as she spoke and wondered why was it that even he couldn"t sense her agony?
"You"re crying and unable to get ready because you"re leaving, right? And it doesn"t feel right to leave..."
"I don"t even know what you"re talking about and I don"t think I want to hear what it is! Why can"t you ask me what makes me cry instead of to conclude everything on your own?!" She thundered and palmed her face. She knew she was overreacting over just a bra and sighed before she stood up, wiping at her tears. "I"m sorry, I shouldn"t have yelled at you."
She was looking around for her hijab and he stood up as well, "What are you doing?" He asked, and she slightly turned to him before she continued with what she was doing. "And are all these going into your bag? Aren"t you done packing already?" He asked, when his eyes saw the heap of bras she had dumped on the floor.
She stared at the bras with a disgusting look and turned to him, "I need to go to the market, Hussain. They"re all a bunch of useless fabrics and foams! None of them is fitting me anymore!" She broke into tears. She had always loved her body, always felt confidence in the size and curve of everything and in her mind, she always felt she was perfect. But now, she had to grow out of her initial size, she might even loose her shape or all those things Hassan told her he loved so much. She had never wanted more of the boobs she had, she...just the mere thought of adding more to what she already had brought immense tears to her cheeks and she broke down completely.
Hussain stared at her for a moment and slightly turned to the heap of bras on the floor, then back to her crying self as she tried to keep the damn towel that obviously frustrated her even more, as he tried so hard to stifle back his laughter. He knew, however she reacted now should be excused because of all the post partum emotions she was bound to feel, but this was too much to watch without breaking into a heap of laughter. Just that, he knew that the worse mistake he could make now is to laugh at her.
So, he took tentative steps towards her and gently pulled her back to the sofa until they both were seated and he lifted her face to stare into his eyes. "Nadia, look at me." He called out softly, with a voice that even if she wanted to, she could never ignore.
"Why are you crying, just because they no longer fit? I've gotten you some nursing bras, haven"t you seen them?" She pouted her lips as she cried while she shook her head.
"The things are too much that I haven"t checked all the bags you"ve brought." She said and felt as she couldn"t stop her tears. It felt to her as if she was crying for something more than just the bras.
He stood up and got to where the bags he had brought were and as he scavenged for the bras in the bags, Nadia watched him. She thought he would be angry that she was crying, but just now, he had acted like Hassan would have, and she felt as something moved in her heart.
He came back to the sofa bearing a pack of six bras as he smiled softly at her, "Here, try them on, let"s see."
She stared between him and the pack before she softly rolled her eyes, "Turn away, then. Or do you expect..."
He chuckled softly and shook his head while he turned away from her, "Who am I to think that you"d wear it in my presence? As the Queen wants, privacy is given." There was a certain softness in his tone that made her smiled before she quickly got the bra on as she smiled at how it fitted her, until she saw the size and it was more than her usual size with two more numbers.
He turned, and instead of the look he expected, he saw the horror in her eyes. "They"re going to grow too big for my liking! This isn"t my usual size and it fits me perfectly!" She wailed and this time, no matter how Hussain wanted to hold his laughter back, he broke into a peal of laughter.
She just stood there, staring at him as he laughed at her while she coiled with anger. "I'm sorry," he got a hold of himself and took her hands in his, while she kept trying to snatch her hand away.
"But this size is perfect for my liking, I wouldn"t mind if they grow twice bigger than this, Singleton." She punched him lightly in the chest.
"Twin! It"s my body, they"re mine and I get to determine the size I want them to be..." She had never expected what he would do next would have her boobs cupped by his two hands as she shrilled.
"See? Still a handful and I love them..." She snatched away from his touch and stood up, pulled her shirt as she ran towards the door.
"What has gotten over you!" She wailed, forgetting that she was supposed to still be crying and not understanding how or why she was feeling so hot and flushed.
He laughed from where he stood as she tried to get the shirt over her body, "What? I was just going to show you that they"re still beautiful and I love them more than you can imagine and I can"t wait to get my hands on them. Also, it"s only natural if they add to their size, I'd even love them more..."
"Hussain!!!" She screamed, while fidgeting with the zipper and he stood up, walking towards her. She was laughing when she took a few steps back, "Stop walking towards me, what are you trying to do?"
He laughed and shook his head! "I just thought of a way to make them loose up a bit. You"re lactating, but since Baby H keeps proving to be a big boy, I might take his place."
She had finally gotten the zipper in place, but her head was still not wrapped. "Oh my Allah! Hussain!" She was laughing along with him and when she saw that he was really trying to catch her, and Nadia knew she wasn"t ready to get to that stage with him, she opened the door and ran out.
They both were laughing as he said, "You wanted them to go back to their initial size, didn"t you? I can"t help!" She ran into the parlor and stopped right in her tracks, her laughter instantly vanishing when she saw the bloodshot eyes of Mufeeda, seated on sofa as she looked up at the sound of their laughter.
He caught up with her from behind and his hands naturally snaked around her waist as he muffled his laughter with her bare neck, "Oh Singleton..." He whispered intimately, burying his face deeper into her neck, fully oblivion to the fact that Mufeeda was staring painfully at them. And when she took her eyes off them to get a hold of her thumping heart, Mufeeda knew she was about to make the right decision. Because, her assumptions weren"t wrong; he had always been in love with Nadia.