Chapter 32

Hussain waited until he was sure she had fallen asleep. He knew that she was still lying on the floor and the weather was misty enough for him to know that it might be cold there. He walked back to his room and brought out the extra keys he had of her room, because they had had each other's keys with Hassan in case of emergency. And Hussain had never thought that he would use the key this way.
There was a surge of guilt all over his body but he stayed aloof, not going to act upon that nagging feeling that demanded to be listened and felt in his heart. He unlocked the door and behold, she was laying on the floor and the rise and fall of her chest was enough to tell him that she was asleep. Maybe, painfully asleep. But nevertheless, what mattered was that he could walk around her peacefully without her trying to wreak havoc.
He scooped her into his arms and walked towards the bed, staring around the room as the ache in his heart intensified. He had missed Hassan and he felt extremely guilty whenever he remembered that he had a wife and she was none other than his twin's wife. He gulped down a lump in his throat and laid her softly on the bed, staring at how flushed and red her face was due to how much she had cried.
He sat down beside her on the bed after he had pulled the duvet close to her chest. She was still crying, as though she was having a painful dream and Hussain hated himself for making her cry as badly as she was now. "Twin..." She mumbled sleepily and her lips pouted into the beginning of a cry. "It hurts so much, can you feel my heart squeezing with the pain?" Sleepily, she spoke. And maybe her body felt someone else's presence and she took a hold of his hand and placed it on top of her heart.
Hussain wanted to pull his heart out due to how much it was paining him. He had made her cry. He had made pain lived in her heart so much hat she was looking for her husband. The one he was sure would never have done what he did to her. But it was all a misunderstanding, even though he knew she would never listen to him explain himself. "I'm sorry," his voice was clogged with emotions that he knew if he stayed with her longer than a few minutes, he would be crying along with her too.
She clutched his hand tighter on her chest as her body shook with her cries, "I wish you haven't left me all alone, Twin. Why would you do that?" Even though Hussain knew it wasn't possible to know the contents of her dream, he wished he could. And right now, if she was dreaming about Hassan, which was obvious that she was, he'd love to know his reply.
"No, he's not that type of person. He doesn't love me and never will..." There was silence, with her tears intensifying before she turned her face to the other side of the bed, angrily releasing his hand, "Go away, I don't want to see you in my dream again. Since, you're obviously going to keep on taking his side."
He waited, but silence was all that was left. Minutes passed and up to an hour but she was sleeping peacefully as though nothing had happened and her tears had dried up on her cheeks. Hussain sighed and looked around the room, he wished he could see Hassan now. Even a dream would do.
Feeling the way his eyes were getting filled with tears, he stood up and stared at her beautiful face as she slept. He leaned down a bit and kissed her forehead, feeling the painful squeeze his heart gave. "I'm sorry, Singleton." He softly muttered and walked out of the room.
He stayed in his room for so long that he wished the day would break. And when it was obvious that he couldn't sleep and it seemed as though his tears could only brim when he was in her presence, Hussain prayed. He prayed throughout the night and went to bed right after he was back from the mosque after he had prayed subh.
•
Nadia woke up feeling so depressed than she had ever been. The last time she had felt so much pain her heart was when Hassan died. Even though this pain was in no way compared to what she had felt when Hassan died, it was still so painful. But she wasn't going to cry today, she wanted her mother to believe that she was happy and she wanted to give Hajia the satisfaction she needed, as well.
So, she plastered a smile on her face and when she briskly took a shower, Nadia decided that she wanted to go to Hajia's chamber and help with the breakfast. But when she went there, she found that it wasn't just the maid, Hajia was in the kitchen as she silently prepared the breakfast herself.
"Good morning, Hajia," Nadia greeted with a lovely smile and Hajia retuned the smile. "I thought you'd be asleep by now, Hajia?" She asked, because they all knew Hajia wasn't an early morning person.
"I couldn't sleep, I don't know whether it's because y'all are leaving at once but it's taking a toll on me. And then, when got tired of thinking, I decided to make breakfast, your favorites." When Nadia took a glimpse of what she had cooked, it wasn't just Hassan and Hussain's fave, she was also making her favorite and she wondered what she had done so good to deserve someone like Hajia as a mother in law, not even once, but twice.
She joined her and helped her with everything and when they were done, Hajia smiled warily at her. "We smell of onions, curry and fried oil. Let's go and bathe, wake your husband as well, y'all can't miss your flight, okay?"
She pouted her lips, "He's not my husband, Hajia." Hajia only chuckled. She knew that they were having one of those sour moments in their marital life but she knew the two people she had matched, they would bounce back from it in no time.
"Okay, your husband's twin, I guess that sounds better, right?" Shamelessly, Nadia nodded her head and Hajia burst out into a series of laughter. "Hurry, we have a lot of things to do before y'all left."
She walked out of the chamber with a smile on her lips. She loved Hajia and was already missing the woman and she was deep in thoughts when she bumped into a hard figure that without doubt, Nadia knew who it was. She looked up at him, at his face that showed how he got little to no amount of sleep and grimaced. It felt like a deja vú, she could clearly remember the day she had hugged him tightly, right in the position they were in now because she thought he was Hassan that had came back.
But now, she knew better. It was Hussain, her husband now, but she didn't want to associate herself with him again. She shifted back a bit to give him room to pass but he stood rooted to his spot, staring at her. Nadia felt the rise of anger in her chest but she masked it up, he'd think she was jealous of what she had seen yesterday night, but that wasn't the case.
She tried to walk past him, since it was evident enough that he wasn't going to walk into the living room-when he held her wrist and she shot up to glare at him. "What's it?" She asked through gritted teeth and Hussain simply shook his head.
"I want to talk to you, Nadia." It was always so serious whenever he referred to her as Nadia. But he could be all serious he wanted now, she wasn't going to listen to him.
"What if I don't want to talk to you?" He was just staring at her with a look in his eyes that she wasn't able to decipher and she rolled her eyes. "I don't want to be held by you, Hussain, kindly let go of my wrist." She used her other hand and shrugged his hand away from her wrist and he was about to speak when they heard Sohila's sleepy voice.
"Good morning, Second H. Morning Aunt Nadia, I was about to go to your chamber." From the looks they were sharing to each other, she knew they were fighting and she saw when Mufeeda came back to their room yesterday at night and she cried herself to sleep.
"Morning Sohila, do you need anything? Or perhaps, Baby H?" Nadia asked, the smile immediately returning to her face that Hussain felt stung by pain at that. So, she was the only one she wasn't going to smile that way to?
"Damn it, Nadia, you have to listen to me!" He didn't know when he said that out loud and in a tone that simply showed her how angry he was at the way she was treating him.
They all turned to look at him and she smiled back at Sohila, "I'll bring it to you, Sohila, I forgot to add it yesterday. Will you wait a bit?" She wanted an escape, because the last thing she would want to happen was for them to have a fight in the presence of Sohila and there was a high chance of Mufeeda walking in on them.
"I can go and get it, Aunt Nadia," Sohila began and she was aware of the heated look Nadia had flashed her. Her eyes sent her apology. She had seen the way Second H looked and how he was still staring at her and she knew she couldn't let Nadia get out of his touch even though she didn't know what happened.
"It's like Second Baba wants to talk to you, I'll just get it myself." He waited, patiently, as Sohila walked past them and she walked towards their chamber and when Nadia was about to do the same, he gripped her wrist. This time, in such a tight way that she wasn't able to shrugged his touch away and he softly dragged her to the garden.
"Oh, it seems like someone is already missing a moment." She rolled her eyes at him and yanked her wrist away from his hold, shooting daggers at his sleepy face.
He sighed and palmed his face, "You have to listen to me, Singleton."
She nodded her head stubbornly, "Isn't that what I'm doing now? You can as well start talking, because it seems you have a lot to tell me." He was about to speak when she cut him off, "Have you decided already, or perhaps, I should say change your mind? I think I can guess a few things-you have decided not to go on with our three months thing, right? And also, you've realized that all this while you've been in love with her and you want to get married to her..." She let her words trailed off to get some breath because saying the words out was enough to rupture every solid vein she had in her heart.
But she wanted to hear the words first from her mouth then from his. "Or maybe we can still stay married for Baby H's sake and you'd marry the one you love?"
"Will you just freaking listen to me and stop making your weird and stupid assumptions, Nadia?!" He thundered, the anger he had been trying to suppress all this while forcing itself out of his chest and his eyes turned to bloodshot with fury. He watched the way she flinched back with fear of how he had sounded and looked at her and he sighed, hissed and took a few breaths to calm himself.
"I shouldn't have shouted at you." He lamented. Always, he had always tried his best not to vent on her but she seemed to know the right buttons to push in him. "I'm sorry," he apologized and when she didn't speak, just staring warily at him, Hussain took that as a cue to say what he had been wanting too.
"I'll make sure I leave no doubt in your mind. First, I'm not in love with Mufeeda and never will I be, that's certain. What you saw yesterday was simply like a painted picture, she found me there, minutes before you came. She was talking to me but I wasn't paying heed to it and then you came and took everything wrong." She was just staring at him, not even a single emotion crossed through her mind to show him that she was believing a word he had uttered.
"I know, you're still angry over a fight I've never wanted to have with yo, but you were mean. Your words were so hurtful, Nadia. What do you want me to do? She's not the one I love, I've told you since before we got married. When you were still my brother's wife. If you want to think that I'd lie to you now because you're my wife, why would I lie to you then?"
She took a step back, she didn't want to hear it. "Please," he took a hold of her shoulders and she froze under his touch, "I'm sorry for saying all that I did, for not speaking to you for days, for practically avoiding you because I didn't know how to amend what we both did. I'm sorry for giving you the chance to doubt me and for hurting you so much yesterday..." He could vividly remember how pained she had looked yesterday at night, how she had cried, the dream she had, everything.
She wanted to keep on fighting him, to keep on hating him even though he knew the last thing she'd do was hate the face of Hassan. But she felt as tears began to pool her eyes, something about his words touching her heart in a place it had never been touched before and she didn't even try to stop her tears from cascading when they wanted to. Hussain had never failed to show her an entire different side of him, everyday.
"I shouldn't have said all I've said that day, I'm sorry." She didn't know why she had apologized. But she just felt the urge to and from his eyes, it seemed to have gladdened him.
Instead of him to answer her, Hussain pulled her to him and she felt encased by his strong arms. He hugged her to his chest and they both sighed at the same time. Hussain nuzzled his head on her shoulder and Nadia closed her eyes as she melted more into his chest.
"I'm sorry for hurting you so much, Singleton." He whispered, and she slightly pulled away to stare at his face.
"But you did smile at her and mouthed a thank you on the dining table, didn't you?" He chuckled and nodded his head.
"It was to make you jealous, and it did. And you have no idea how glad I was to see that jealousy flare into your eyes. Thank you for not hiding it." He was laughing when she lightly punched his chest.
"Twin!" She whined and he kissed her forehead with a lovely smile on his face. This woman, one day, he wouldn't be able to hide what he felt for her.