Chapter 42: I Love You

Somehow, amidst the passionate kiss they shared, their positions were flipped and when she got a hold of herself, she found that she was now the one hovering over him and they both were trying to catch their breaths. She stared into his eyes with a dreamy expression and saw the desire he could no longer hide. She knew, he had outwardly told her that he wanted her, but what she was seeing now from his eyes wasn"t something she had ever seen. And she thought she had seen all shades of them, lol.
"I should..." She began and stopped, because she didn't even know what to say to him. Her body wanted this, but there was a part of her heart that was stopping her; it wasn"t the right time yet. She knew, her had been her husband for almost two months now and in the islamic perception, there was nothing like the right time, but Nadia just couldn"t bring herself to do this.
She shifted off of him, "I should leave," she managed to utter after so many failed attempts. They both were sitting on the bed with their eyes slightly the color of blood due to the desire they both felt at the moment.
Hussain simply held her wrist and sh weakly turned to look at him. She knew she wasn"t just going to punish herself if she walked out through that door, she would punish him, severely. "Please, Nadia." He managed to breath out and she didn"t know when tears pooled the brink of her eyes. Once, it had been just once, but she had regretted it for the life of her after his death and she had carved for an intimate touch.
They had once had a fight with Hassan and when he came to her that night, she ignored him. He had begged her the best he could, tried to touch her but she shooed him away and it wasn"t until after his death and she craved for an intimate touch and painfully realized she was never getting, did she regret the way she had treated him that way. And right now, Nadia wasn"t mentally stable for her to experience that guilt again.
"Hussain," she breathed out, "We can"t be doing this." She slightly shook her head and felt the way her tears ran down to her cheeks softly. She felt as he moved beside her and wiped at her tears with his thumb before he took off the veil she had wrapped around herself, revealing the night dress she had worn within. She knew this would definitely lead to a night full of sexual ecstasy, but she wasn"t strong enough to resist or stop him.
"We"ve been husband and wife for a long time now..." He began and she cut him off, slightly placing her hand on his to stop him from sliding her shirt off of her shoulders.
"We got divorced, Hussain. And it has been few hours after we got back as a married couple. Can we not rush?" She stared at her and the ends of his lips lifted into a smile before he shook his head.
"I can"t, and I'm most certain you can"t do that either."she felt as the shirt slid off of her shoulder and her chest, as bare as she was used to sleeping without any bra on, got stared at by him. It was so intimate and sizzling that she couldn"t take her eyes off his face while she saw the expression that flashed through him while he graced his eyes over her breasts.
Carefully, Hussain brought her back onto the bed and he laid her sensually on her back. She stared at him, tongue tied as her heart raked violently against her ribcage. She knew where this was taking them to, and as much as she wanted it, she couldn"t help but be scared of this a bit. The sensation of his mouth on her nipple while his hand played with the other one brought her out of her reverie and the gasp she intended to make came out as a moan and she felt him intensified the speed at which he were sucking her.
She had resisted herself for so long and it wasn"t like she had ever felt something as close to this. She knew, Hassan had touched all the places Hussain was touching now but never this wildly, never this...sensationally. No matter how Nadia wanted to stop herself from responding to his touches, she did. She moaned as intimately as she could, felt as he took any piece of clothing she had off, aware of his hardened length through his towel, wondering how that towel managed to stay pinned to his waist even though she knew it would only take a few minutes before he took it off. And by then, she"d have a full body-to-body contact with him.
She heard his labored breaths as he tried to slow down, because by now, they both were a bunch of racing hearts and bodies eager to be fused as one. "Nadia," sensually, he drawled out her name and she had to force her eyelids to shot open.
She stared into his eyes and saw his bare soul staring right back at her. "Hussain," she called back, knowing so well what they both were feeling at this time wasn"t just sexual. This was a feeling rooted through their hearts and trying so hard to emote out of their chests.
He leaned down and hugged her, taking her by surprise and while Nadia gasped at the surprise of it and the sensation she felt. She hugged him back with tears in her eyes and felt the way he was slightly rocking them both. They stayed like that for some time and when he looked up at her face, he was smiling, that emotional wreckage was no where to be found and he looked so happy to be in her arms.
"This is a dream come true for me, Nadia. I may not like the circumstance at which this has happened, but I'm so happy at the moment. I could even die and have no regrets right now."
She smiled and stroked her hand around his face, "What are you talking about? And who's going to die? It"s definitely not going to you." That made him laugh softly and he pulled them upwards, laying their heads in one pillow as he pulled the blanket over them.
"Hey," she called out with a chuckle, seeing the way he practically glued her body to his, "What are you doing?"
He stared down at her face and smiled as widely as he could, "We"re going to sleep," he watched the words forming in her mouth, "Yes, like this. You don"t have to have your clothes on and for my towel, I'm certain I'd need to take it off sometime in the night."
She tried to jerk away from his hold, laughing. She didn"t know how that passionate moment dissipated into this casual and one of the most peaceful and loveliest moment she had ever witnessed in her life. She placed her hand on his chest, feeling the way he tightened his hold on her and their faces that were barely an inch away got even closer.
"Why are you acting this way?" She asked, absentmindedly tracing the lines of his lips while she stared into his eyes. She had never felt this peaceful being in someone"s arms like today. "You aren"t even ashamed of saying things to me now, right?"
"Unless you want the little patience I've acquired to run down the drainage, stop that movement with your hand, Singleton." He threatened, and she chuckled before she took her hand off, feeling the way her chest got directly on top of his and it was a sensation that was both torture and bliss to her.
"No, I'd love to have this patience intact. A girl is sleepy, you see." She closed her eyes momentarily and while she expected a response, she got none. Slightly, she opened her eyes and found him staring at her face without even blinking and she felt as though he had stroke an arrow right into her heart. "Why are you staring at me that way?" She whispered softly and he sighed before he adjusted his eyes.
"Which way?"
"Like I'm the most beautiful thing you"ve ever seen. Like you couldn't believe I'm laying right next to you, as if I'm going to leave if you ever blink your eye..." She stopped to catch her breath, but she was going to say it as she felt that look. "Like I'm the best thing that has ever happened to you. In a way that makes me think as if you love me."
She watched the way he caught his breath at once and released it ever so gently. He closed his eyes, recollected is breath, as her eyes never unwatered from his face. And when he opened his eyes again, she had never seen a truth more profound than the one in his eyes. "It"s not as if I love you, it"s because I love you, Nadia."
He watched the way she froze for a moment, blinked her eyes severally before she took in a huge breath into her lungs to keep her alive. He was unknowingly holding his breath. He knew he shouldn"t have said that, but it hadn"t been long since when eh realized that the moment he should stop hiding his feelings for her had come and this was the right time to confess.
"Hussain..." She managed to utter but her other words got stuck. "I thought...I thought you said that you don"t love me? I mean..." She sat upright, holding the duvet to cover her glistening bosom away from his preying eyes.
Slowly, he sat upright beside her and took her free hand, "I love you, Nadia." He said, and suddenly, no words had ever sound so right from his lips like these. He smiled widely at her, "I love you, Nadia. From the deepest core of my heart, I really love you." He had tears glistening from his eyes at this moment, "Like, I've always been in love with you, I shouldn"t, but I do. I love you so much that most nights, it hurts. I have never loved a woman in my life until you and will never love another until our daughter."
She didn"t know she was crying until she felt his thumb clearing her tears away. "But why did you tell her that you didn"t love me? I've never been hurt like when I heard those words from you." She didn"t even know why she was crying. She knew she was elated, hearing those words from him was like being drowned and then saved back to life.
He was now holding both her hands, smiling and crying at the same time. "I've always been in love with you, Nadia. It"s like a part of me that couldn"t be changed, but I've livd with the idea of never having you and taught myself how to hide it away from the world, myself included. And I've done a pretty good job, didn't I?" He asked with a small crying voice that emoted the deepest emotions he felt for her. "I didn"t want you to know about this from her, I had to stop her the only way I could. Because it seems like she was the only one that saw through the walls I've hidden your love in, she knew that I was in love with you, had always been."
"You did," she nodded her head and cried a bit more. "But how long? You kept saying you"ve always been in love with me, Hussain." She felt overwhelmed, this wasn"t the answers she expected when she said those words.
"I first saw you four years ago at the airport, we were rounding up our training and were at Cairo at the time. You were clinging to your father, laughing and I realized later that you had just finished school then and was going back home." He saw the confusion in her eyes and sadly smiled, "Since that day, I fell in love with you, Nadia."
"But...four years ago, I didn't even met him." She whispered, and she didn't have to call Hassan"s name for him to know who she was referring to.
He smiled and pulled her to his body, hugging her as warmly as he felt her love in him. "Yes, I guess we weren"t so different with him after all, for both our lifetimes, we"ve both love the same woman. A year later, he met you and fell in love at first sight as well. Just that, he was more outspoken than I was, and I'm glad he got to live with the woman he loved that much before he left this world, glad that he gave me a child to call mine and remember me of him. I"m so happy and at peace whenever I remember how happy he had been with you, and all the pain I had to go through was worth it." She just broke into tears, because basically, that was the only thing she could do.