Chapter 36

She had tried all she could to avoid him all these days they had spent in Abuja. She had had a lovely time in Abuja and wished he could just leave without her. She didn"t know how much she had missed her family until these days she had spent with them. And right now, she had just two days left with them. She smiled when she heard the footsteps of her cousin, Nazir, as he walked towards her in the kitchen, holding up a bunch of banana she had asked him to bring to her from the fridge.
"I thought you wouldn't bring it, as per big guy." She chuckled at the expression he made and moved to peel the bananas. "Can you turn over the pancake, I don"t want it to burn, Nazir." She smiled at him as he eagerly went up to the pan.
"You know I've been dying to know how you make your pancakes, right? It kept trying it but have never gotten it right." She chuckled at that. They had been the best of friends, Nadia and Nazir, they went to the same school and had been almost inseparable until she met Hassan and instantly fell in love, that was when their relationship began to ease up a bit but he had been there through it all. He was the best friend she only had and will forever be grateful that she did.
He had gotten a job in South Korea and no one knew he was back, because he planned on resting for a week in a hotel before he would be ready for that family visitations and she happened to meet him there after she had dropped off Hussain. It was a pleasant surprised that had sent her screaming and she nearly forgot she was married, she would"ve hugged him like old time.
"I would"ve thought you how to do it, Nazir, but that time all you did was roam in the kitchen while I make every single meal we ate, so much for a spoilt brat like you." She chuckled at the face and put the bananas in a blender, planning to make a smoothie, "Where"s that Korean girlfriend you mentioned?" She asked casually as he flipped the pancake and put in another batter.
"Ohh, do you mean An MiHee? God! I need to call the girl, she hasn"t been able to reach me because I"ve never given her my Nigerian line," he pulled his phone out immediately and realized that he had stayed five days in Nigeria and all he did was slept in that hotel room, ate and sleep again until he met with Nadia on his way to get something to eat.
"That isn"t love, you know?" She said absentmindedly and instantly, she was reminded of Hussain. He hadn"t been around often even though Mama tried as much as she could to make him eat all those three meals in their house, he only came for dinner, which she made sure she avoided him.
He shrugged off his shoulders and leaned on the counter after he had turned off the gas, "I"m done with this, is the smoothie ready? I'm famished, Nady." He lovingly called her Nady, and that was the only thing that hadn't changed since she got married.
"Yes, let"s go to the balcony so you can tell me about your Korean Girlfriend." They took everything out and Nadia felt nostalgic. It felt like those nights they had countlessly spent in school and even after they back home. They had never missed a chance of having those late night chats that were so therapeutic. She watched him opening the door for her and smiled at him appreciatively at him. She was painfully aware of the boundaries between them now, but it wasn"t like they were doing something bad, right? And it wasn"t even 9pm yet for them to call it too late.
They had chatted non stop while they ate and she had a good soul laugh she hadn't been able to have in a very long time. She couldn"t even remember the last time she had her soul freed up this much, her heart loosen up from the knots of pain and panic that constantly pulled at her since after she had lost Hassan. It was good to have a best friend like Nazir, he made her forget all that worried her.
And right on cue, Hussain walked into the house, because he just meant to have a quick dinner and leave when his eyes first fell on her, having a laugh he had briskly seen on her only when she was married to his brother. He sighed out of relief, he had missed her. Even though he was still bottled up with so much rage towards her and didn"t still know who she had fled from the hotel was, but it felt good to see her after a few days.
But his relief was hitched the moment he saw who she was seated with and the kind of look he was flashing her was enough to tell every other person in the world what was in his heart. He felt a surge of anger, of pain as he strode towards them. She didn"t notice him, he was the first one that did and smiled up at him.
"Hey, Hassan! It"s good to see you-" he caught himself mid-sentence after he remembered that Hassan was dead and this was obviously the twin. But man, he had never thought that they looked soo much alike! It felt like a mirror! "Nady," he called out while turning towards her slightly, and Hussain didn"t miss the affection in that name, the softness and suppressed love that struck an arrow right into his heart.
"I need to talk to you, Singleton." He said through gritted teeth and watched the way all that smile vanished from her face while she stood up.
"Nazir, can we talk tomorrow? Maybe we could go to that place you"ve mentioned, we"re not leaving until next tomorrow." She handed him the mug she was taking the smoothie from, "Take the rest of my smoothie, you love it, you said. I'll send you the recipe later, okay?" She smiled at him, warmly and lovely until Hussain saw clouds in his eyes. She bade him goodnight right in front of his eyes and without glancing him a look, Nadia walked back into the house and wordlessly, after he saw him taking the smoothie right from where her lips had touched before, he went to his car and drove out of the house.
Hussain slumped on the chair she had just stood from while he kept breathing heavily to calm himself down. He didn"t want to vent or yell at her in the presence of her family. But he knew that he wouldn"t let Nadia sleep in this house tonight, whatever it"s going to take. He sat there until he was sure that he had calmed a bit and went into the house to speak to her mother and fortunately enough, he met her in the living room.
After they had exchanged a few pleasantries, he scratched his nape and smiled up a bit, "Mama, I haven't been seeing Nadia around for a few days. Our flight has been rescheduled, we need to leave tonight." He said slowly, knowing so well this is the only thing that would make the stubborn Nadia bulge out of the house, not even his anger would do.
"Oh, Subhanallah, I hope everything is fine?" She said with a soft smile. She knew everything that was going between them, had seen how Nadia had stomped into the house and knew he had spent a few minutes outside to calm himself down.
"Yes, I just have something to take care of, so we need to leave."
"She"s in her room, over there." Zarah walked out of the kitchen and and greeted him, "Zarah, please take him to Nadia"s room." She walked him to the room and was about to walk off when Hussain stopped her.
"Can you please knock and act as if you"re the one? I want to surprise her." He managed, even though his heart was already thumping against its ribcage.
"Ya Nadia! I think I've left my phone in there and I need to make a call." She called out, and when Nadia opened the door, Zarah smiled at him and left the place. He walked into the room and it was nothing like Hassan"s room she had lived in. He watched as she went back to the bed and sat down, sulking her face.
"Turn off the light for me on your way out, Zarah," she said and tried to lay on the bed and when she send that there was no movement, she looked up, only for her eyes to meet his bloodshot ones and he walked up to the bed. "What are you doing here?!" She thundered and he took a step back, lifting his hand up in surrender before he quickly masked up his expression.
"Get your bags ready, we"re leaving today." His voice was cold and it shot a shiver down her spine. She knew they had never had a serious fight with Hussain, but she knew if she tried to defy what he said today, prior to his expression, nothing would stop them from having a blast.
"I'm not leaving with you anymore." He looked at her with an unbelievable expression and she took her eyes away from him, "I don"t care about our goddamn agreement, just leave without me. After I've weaned Hassan, I'd bring him to you to Katsina."
He had to take a step back and she gasped slightly too. She had never called Baby H by his name and doing just that had both startled her and him as well. "You"re my wife, and you have to do what I've just told you now." He took a step towards her and stared at her enigmatically, "Get your bags ready and we"re leaving in a few minutes."
She hissed and the cold look he flashed her shot a shiver down her spine. She knew he was even more furious because she had hissed at him and quickly masked it up. "The fact that I'm your wife doesn"t change a thing, does it? You don"t own me! You don"t want me as a wife, so I see no reason why I should do whatever the hell you want, Hussain!"
He slowly turned to the door and locked it from the inside before he took steps until he was standing right in front of her and she took a step back. "Are you doing this because of that guy? Have you always been in love with him even before you married Hassan?!" It was only after she had gasped outwardly and palmed her mouth did he weigh his words. What he accused her of doing.
But even though Nadia wanted to control her tears, she couldn"t, they rolled down to her cheeks. "I've been with Nazir for all the years I've been with myself. He"s my freaking age mate, we share the same birthday! We"ve been best friends for all my life and if I"ve been in love with him, tell me, why the hell would I ever get married to Hassan?!"
He laughed, since they were at it, then they should do it the right way. "Why not? Because he"s your age mate and when you got married to Hassan, he's obviously not ready and you have no choice but to do it at the time, am I wrong?"
She felt as tears choked her breath and she couldn"t understand why it pained her so much even though she knew it wasn"t the truth. "What are you accusing me of, Hussain? Just what are you trying to say?" She said with trembling lips and he raked his fingers through his hair frustratingly.
"Have you been in contact with him even after you were married." He chuckled and lifted his eyes off the painful expression that was on her face, "I shouldn"t even ask, it"s obvious that you"re still in love with him, you wouldn"t have been this free with him until now."
She laughed humorlessly and went to her vanity table. She picked up a paper and a pen and walked back to where he stood, staring at her with a confused expression as he wondered what she was trying to do. "You don"t have to hurt me this much if you"re trying to look for an excuse, Hussain. Allah knows that I've never felt something for Nazir, and likewise for him as well. How could he?" She felt the pain was too much that she had to stop for a moment, "Please, divorce me. Here, a paper and a pen, I beg you in the name of Allah to divorce me, Hussain. We can"t stay married when you're thinking of me this way, you've said all this, Hassan..." She slumped on the bed and cried, Hassan would never had said what he had just said to her even if it were real.
She pulled his hand and placed the pen and the paper, "Divorce me, I don"t want to be your wife anymore." There was determination in her voice, anger, as fierce as she felt it in her heart. And oh, no one should even talk about the pain.
"Is it what you want?" His lips trembled while he spoke and his heart shook with terror. What had he done?!
"Yes, and even if you don"t do it, I'd have to make you divorce me one way or the other." She watched as his Adam"s apple bubbled up and down, as though he were trying to weigh his words. "Yes, you guess right. I want you to divorce me so that I can finally have a chance with Nazir." He was staring right into her eyes as she wiped at her tears and looked up at him, "You don't have to say the words, I've done them for you."
"Is this what you want?" He asked, lifting the pen in his hands.
"Yes, that"s what I want Hussain. Divorce me."
He shrugged off his shoulder, but as his fingers began to write on the paper, Nadia palmed her face as she cried as soundlessly as she painfully felt the sheer agony in her heart. Hussain felt empty, and it felt as though he were being drained while he wrote. His eyes flicked to her for a moment and watched the way she was crying. He knew she wasn"t crying because they were going to be divorced, rather, for the words she had said or the fact that she"d have to be separated with Baby H later in life.
"If it"s what you want, why are you crying then?" He asked, lifting off the tip of his pen.
"Because I might not hate you the wya you hate me! Because you look like my freaking husband and it hurts like hell hearing those words from you and I wouldn't want to stay with a man as heartless as you are! You"d change Hassan"s image in my head, he was a perfect man, the loveliest and softest I've ever come across. He"s not this merciless!" She stood up and faced him, forcing her tears to stop. "It"s rather funny to me now how I used to mistake you for him, wasn"t it clear enough that he was everything you"d never be?" The words stung, she saw, and that"s exactly what she wanted. She wouldn"t be the only one that"d be hurt.
"Just so you know, the only reason I agreed to stay married to you for these months was because your face looks like him, I would"ve fought until the end of my life for us to be separated since then. I thought that maybe since he"s gone you"d act like him, I was mistaken. And now I want out, so, Hussain Abdurrashid Alkali, divorce me now! I don"t want to be your wife!" She rolled her eyes painfully at him, "You see, I'm in love with my cousin, and I"ve always been in love with him even when I was married to your brother, I still am-all those were your words, tho. There, you"ve gotten an excuse to tell Hajia, I'd send a car to pickup the rest of my clothes that I'd want over there in Katsina. As for Baby H, your lovely Mufeeda might continue to take care of him as of now, you see, he isn"t the child of the man I love, you can have from today."
"Nadia..." He whispered, and she shot him a deadly glare.
"Now! Divorce me, because I'd never forgive you for what you"ve said. Just do it while you can still do it yourself."
He took a deep breath and nodded his head, all the words he had wanted to tell her went down the drainage. There was no way out of this, no words could be uttered and he had nothing anymore. The damage had been done since in Katsina and now, he had destroyed everything.
"If that"s what you want, I would be cursed to stay with a woman like yourself. You don"t deserve to be my wife nor my brother"s, Nadia. I"d do what you"ve always wanted, finally be free from us and go live yourself, I'd take the child with me." She watched as he angrily wrote on the paper, folded it and placed it on the bedside drawer.
He turned to leave, as she felt an avalanche of sheer agony she had never felt before in her life. It was a different pain from the one she did when Hassan died. She stared at the folded paper and felt the urge to never breathe again. "I think I deserve this one last hug, though." She felt as he wrapped his arms around her and slightly hugged her. She broke into tears instantly. No matter how Hussain wanted to stop his tears, they fell down and he held her for a minute before he let go of her, because he knew if he held onto her any longer, he wouldn"t let her go.
"Take care of yourself, Nadia. I'm so glad that Hassan left while he was nothing but a happy man, he didn"t get to see this horrible side of yours." And he was out of the room in the blink of an eye, Nadia didn"t know when she slumped on the ground as she broke into tears, feeling as though her heart had been snatched forcefully out of her chest. Ya Allah, had it ever pained this much? No pain she had ever experienced could compare to this.