Chapter 62 Ma's letter

After our argument I thoughts I'd let Amelia cool off, she's only gonna go to Nikki and she'll be back tomorrow. Perhaps we both needed time out, she was completely out of order, I've just lost my mother and she goes off on one like that. Anger just washing over me. I begin to feel Amelias pain, pain in my chest my whole body aching, my head being dragging into darkness. I shrug it off it's me that should feel like that not her. I just head for a shower and go to bed, I can't be handling temper tantrums tonight.

Midday the next day still nothing from Amelia but the pain and emotions becoming harder to bare. I link Nikki, **is Amelia okay? No lucas she's not, you treated her bad real bad. She was out of order, Nikki. No lucas she replayed her memory to me which is one of her new talents may I add, you were out of line completely out of line. Quit it Nikki send her up to me. I can't send her up, she's not here, she left. What the fuck do you mean she left?. She's gone, she needs space. Mateo will be taking over her role for the time being is all I know.** There is only one other place she would be and thats at Nina and Rich's house, but I can't exactly show up there can I, they won't even let me in if she's managed to twist things around on me.

I head to find Libby and Mateo to see what the hell was going in their end. I find them slumped in the living room in the pack house. ***"She left me, and you didn't stop her. She's left me here, making out it's all my fault too" "Lucas I think you need to head to take a long hard think about what is actually her fault here" "oh another one taking her side I take it" "yes Lucas, I can't blame her for leaving, all that girl has done recently is bend over backwards for you, done every single piece of pack work that is usually shared, provide you with your needs and trying to keep everything running by herself. She's had no thank you for that, instead she gets everything thrown in her face. She asked me to take over the pack work but you know what you go do it. There's probably nothing even there to be done anyway she said it's all up to date." "whatever Matt" " it's not whatever, at all she's lost the one thing she had close to a mother too you know, BUT she put everyone else first, this pack is currently running and continued because of her. You have been an ass to everyone but she took the most shit from you, Amelia was gonna be the best thing that ever happened to this pack and you may have messed that up."*** I just storm off not saying a word. Everyone is defending her, I'm the one who lost their mother, I'm the one who can't even look at his father without an argument. Surely I wasn't that bad was I? I begin to question myself. I shake my head and continue up to my room.

I look over the paperwork neatly stacked in the corner, everything was filed, labeled and signed, there's only two pieces of paper that needed signing and thats the two I put there last night. God this woman had been busy there was no paperwork left. I have thoughts of my Ma creeping in, true mates are a blessing, then Jordans words you must stick together repeating in my head. Why can't I shake these thoughts, she's coming back. Amelia can't stay away, we are weaker apart than as one. I slouch into the sofa and start letting thoughts go through my head.

I must have fallen asleep during that time, it's dark out already, and still no sign of Amelia. The aching and loneliness creeping in again. I couldn't work out whether it was hers or mine or even both at this point. I can't just go over to Nina and Rich's so **Trent can I have protection and security on Amelia at all time, no masking, no reavelaing that your watching. No worries Luc I got this, I'll bring another one along with me. Cheers keep me updated.  Thats now sorted, atleast I know she has some security. I'll go for a run I think and let Damon out seen as he hasn't spoken to me either.**

Damon smashes his paws to the ground, tearing up the ground with every step. He's angry and frustrated too, he's going quicker than before growling and snarling as he runs, he stops as he gets to the gazebo. Letting out a large pain wreching howl then just lays in the Gazebo curled into a ball. **Damon what's up?** no reply, **come on Damon talk to me, what's the matter?. it's you Lucas your whats the matter, you treated mate like trash now look, she walked out on us all because of you. I didn't do anything wrong she was out of line. no Lucas she was within her rights to say every word she said, you crossed the line she left us now, barely protected with all the threats we're getting and she's alone, mate is hurting, you hurt Amelia. She has Trent, she will be fine. No lucas she should be with us we are the only one truly capable of protecting her.**  I don't even bother replying before he head back to the pack allowing me to shift back. I head up to the room and just lay there. Still not able to see where I went wrong. I'm hurt and so is she, now everyone isn't happy with me. I fist my hair not knowing what to do.

I just get up and get myself breakfast before heading down to the field early seen as that's the only thing keeping my mind straight. I trained hard recently, my body was showing it, I could feel myself getting quicker and my strength almost doubling. I just sigh at the thought what's the point, not like there's anything to protect anymore.

I head straight for a shower and change into some comfy clothes, seen as I'm stuck with the pack work. I couldn't even concentrate on the work, too much going on in my head. I realise I hadn't read my mothers letter, I probably should, I go my bedside table and bring out the envelope, just staring at my name, my mothers handwriting is so neat and unique, she put alot of effort into this. I can still smell my mothers sweet almond scent on the envelope, bringing me some comfort. just open it I tell myself.

*Dear Lucas
                   My sweet boy your reading this following my passing, it's going to hurt for a while but please don't let it consume you, we have many happy memories together, focus on them. We both knew it was going to come, I just didn’t want to prolong it any longer, I was weak, I was in pain, I wasn't complete. You won't have this issue and I am so glad you have Amelia, to keep you strong,  cherish every moment and never go to bed on an argument. Make sure you show that amazing wife of yours just how special she is, she was once broken, it still hurts from time to time but with our love we helped her heal all she wanted was a family and we provided her that I'm just sorry I can't be there to guide her anymore and be a mother to a daughter aswel.*

*You are facing many challenges at the moment I know, and your probably not having much from your father, he's probably angry, that won't change Lucas, he knows more about Amelia than you think, as did I, She is exceptional but one flaw with her prophecy makes her vulnerable also. Your father will probably make an attempt on her life, in order to gain her abilities, you can't let this happen under any circumstances, it will tip the balance in nature. I'm sorry but I have to inform you there is only one way to stop him and that is down to you my son, I'm sorry to lay this burden on you but it's the only way you can keep Amelia safe for the sake of all wolves not just her.*

*Please when you have pups tell them about me, how much I love them before they even existed, give them a kiss and a hug from me. Maybe we will meet again in another life who knows, please enjoy your life don't get stuck in a dark place because of my passing shed a little light upon people my life is to be celebrated, I had a good one. I love You my little wolf, I'm forever in your heart when things get tough remember the fighter you are.*

*lots of love
Ma xxx*