Chapter 90 Bored and frustrated

While I've been stuck in this room barely even allowed to move from this bed, he had the ordacity to leave without even a good bye just this stupid note I can't even think about reading. why is everything always about other people and some other drama. I'm here carrying his child and he just wanders off to battle. ***"Amelia is everything okay your looking a little intense" "Sorry Craig yes a little just no understanding to any of this if I'm completely honest" "Amelia everything that is happening now is to protect you and your little girl you may not be able to see that but everyone is on high alert the borders here are completely guarded no one is to come in and no one out while the Alpha is away on this chaotic battle. I'm not sure if that made you feel any better but I'm giving you the truth and while you are safe here under mine and Mark's care he is probably out there praying he comes home to you. We all understand your need to have Lucas by your side even him but he has to do this for the wider good"*** I just sit silent without anything to say not knowing if the words were ringing true or whether or not he rehearsed it. Things going around my mind what happens if he doesnt come home? what if our girl never meets her father? How am I going to explain everything?. Finding myself getting more and more frustrated I waddle off to the bathroom I inform Craig, ***"I'm taking a bath"*** he just nods and allows me to be in peace.

I allow the warm water to flow while adding some bubbles light some wax melts and tealights to try and relax me a little more. **Amelia how are you feeling? Craig has informed me you are more frustrated and worked up than normal, which is to be expected. Mark how could he leave me so close? Amelia Lucas is not doing this because he doesn't want to be there with you, what he is doing is maintaining yours and your pups safety, I agreed for him to go on one condition you remain calm, on bed rest and increased monitoring. So you gave him the all clear? yes Amelia I did for you, neither of us wanted trouble coming here it would have only put you and your pup in distress and greater danger. Sorry Mark but I can't think rationally at the moment, it's okay enjoy your bath and relax, Craig will have some food ready for you, also he said you haven't opened Lucas's letter, I suggest you do, you will have greater understanding I will pop by later on Amelia. I'll think about it, see you later.** Why does none of this seem rational and why am I so worked up maybe it's because of my issues of trust or fear either way I can't keep raising my blood pressure ***"its not going to help you is it my little princess"*** speaking to my very large uncomfortable tummy.

The water now cold, I try hard to maneuver myself around to get out of tub without too much difficulty. I begin to try and dry myself as best I can seen as there's some places I can't even reach anymore. I hear Nikki and Libby entering my bedroom and talking with Craig. ***"I'll be out shortly just trying to dry off" "Take your time Amelia, don't strain yourself."*** Nikki shouting back at me as if she's giving me a warning. I just roll my eyes, they brought me some nice nighties yesterday so I just throw one of them on and head back into the bedroom.

***"Come on we have some food for you, watch a film and have a giggle but not too much we don't want our princess to arrive just yet"*** Libby chuckled. ***"What are we going to watch?" "There's a new film out I'll have a look and see if we can get it through lime or something now. Oh here it is model 35."*** Nikki loves films about fashion so it wouldn't of been hard to guess what it's about. As the film starts we start munching away on the food both the girls and Craig had done for us, Craig also seen it as his cue to go into the living room while we watch this and enjoy out time together.

Half way through the film I feel myself feeling a little off and emotional only they weren't my emotions, they must have Lucas's. I brush it off, I'll deal with that once they leave. ***"You okay Amelia?"*** Nikki looking at me concerned ***"of course I am, just worried I guess" "We all are but they'll be fine tough as old boots them lot"*** Libby couldn't control herself and just laughed. ***"where on earth did you come up with that? I've never heard it before in my life"*** she continued ***"it's a metaphor or something I read it in one of my mags and it kinda caught on" "I like it"*** I mumbled suggestively.

Coming to the end of the film, I realise the girls had to go fill in for duties that the boys would usually take care of, ***"we will be back once everything is sorted" "No worries I have Mark coming to check on me shortly I'll probably get some sleep them" "Let's us know when it's okay to come back over" "Will do"*** The girls give their good bye and off they go. It gets so lonely and boring doing the same thing over and over.

Time passing by slowly I decide to think about reading the note that Lucas had left me. Collecting the note from my bedside cabinet, still feeling unsure about reading it. His smell still lingering in the air, making me miss him even more, the tears begin to flow I've been so focused on him leaving that I hadn't really realised it could have been the last time. I feel myself sobbing harder Craig runs in, ***"Amelia what's wrong? Are you in pain? Shall I call Mark?"*** I just shake my head while he edges closer ***"I miss him and what if he doesnt come home" "Amelia he will come home he has you and your princess to fight for, there is nothing that will stand in the way of that" "None of us can say that for sure though" "he had everyone looking out for him he's coming back to you" "Thank you"*** Craig tries his best to calm me down and keep me relaxed and I appreciate it very much it's just not helping. ***"Craig I think I'm going to read the note now can you give me some space?" "of course I'll be just outside you need anything just give me a shout" "Thank you"***

I begin to tear the Ivory envelope open to find a carefully hand written note.

*Dear Amelia,
                      Your reading this because you were asleep when it was time for me to leave. I need to finish this once and for all. I don't want anymore drama just a peaceful life with you and our princess.*

*On the other hand you must appreciate how dangerous this is for everyone, we are venturing in to the unknown. I need you to understand that you will continue to lead this pack with or without me here. I know it's upsetting thought and heartbreaking to think we will be apart but you must pick yourself up for our pup and for this pack, they need you. I will always be by your side whether it be in body or spirit. It shouldn't come to that though I have something much more precious to fight for than a stupid title.*

*I've been abit of an asshole in the past but, I hope you have forgiven me. I love you Amelia, I look forward to coming home to you my darling wife, you changed my life forever, I couldn't go a day without you.*

*Love
Lucas xxx*