Chapter 79 I'm trying

Sat at dinner with everyone was a little awkward to start with but the conversations did get flowing shortly after, just goes to show how long we haven't all sat together for. Amelia seemed quiet and reserved, I could feel something was bugging her just couldnt pin point what. ***"Amelia you seem a little lost tonight"*** Nathan pressed ***"It's nothing just think I'm tired and need some sleep I've been quite the busy one today but luckily Lucas did come and help out."*** everyone looked over puzzled. ***"yes Amelia and I did the laundry together she shouldn't have been doing it in the first place but she insisted so I helped to take the strain off, but Amelia you were clenching your tummy earlier are you in pain, because you have barely touched your food? Do we need to see Mark?"*** everyone laughed at the thought of me doing the laundry but turned concerned when I mentioned Amelia's pup. ***"I think it's just growing pains seen as my bump is developing quite quickly at the moment." "Amelia you shouldn't be complainig of pain I'm sure wolves barely notice" "don't forget I'm not your kind of wolf now am I so it would be slightly different for me" "Amelia you only work out at around 3 months pregnant or just under surely you shouldn't be having pain yet." "let's not discuss this here can we have a word outside."*** I follow her she's clearly not impressed.

***"Look Lucas I appreciate you care, I do but listen up I've only known a short period my life has turned upside down, I don't carry to the time frame your kind do, I deliver anywhere between 5 and 6 months which only gives me 3 months maximum to prepare for these changes so yes my body has to work at it abit quicker, meaning I would be in more pain please just give it a break, if I had worries I would have spoken to Mark already but I don't"*** she's clearly stressing she found out later than she would have and now she doesn't have long to prepare for our pup to arrive, even I'm starting to worry on how quickly her pregnancy is going to be over and have a pup in my arms. ***"okay I'm just trying to look out for you and the pup, I don't think I could handle losing you both" "I appreciate it but please it's alot to wrap my head around and especially with the way things are at the moment"*** perhaps there has been too much going on, plus she found out about everything alone, I wasn't there for her when she needed me. She heads back in to finish off her dinner which is now cold. I don't think I can stomach food, things are getting to me a little more than I thought. ***"Guys I'm gonna head up don't feel like eating much else, I'll catch everyone tomorrow"

**Mark is it normal for Amelia to be experiencing abdominal pains? Of course her pregnancy will be tough as her body does everything in a short space of time, why? she's in pain and just says it's growing pains I just wanted to check, it worried me a little. So now your worrying about her, you have a lot to make up for dear boy. I know don't remind me.**

Being sat watching some crappy tv show with a beer, I try to plan out how I'm going to get Amelia to come out for dinner tomorrow and perhaps a walk along the shore if it's not too cold, I begin second guessing myself she deserves more than that but Amelia never been a materialist she perfers time and company over anything else.

**Amelia, I hope I'm not disturbing you, I know it's late, would you join me tomorrow in going out for dinner? As in a date night? yes exactly that. Sure I guess but it would have to be after I do the pack work and making sure everything is in place but after that is fine. Thanks you let me know a time and we'll go. No worries good night. Good night beautiful. I actually went to bed content for a change and felt myself drifting off peacefully.**

The following day seemed to drag out but I did help with some staff shortages that were highlighted on the rota, hopefully Amelia would be done early. It also comes to my attention that we have no space in the pack house for a nursery for our little one when they arrive I managed to get in touch with construction crew and they will be renovating and refurbishing my parents home to become our home. I made some changes to the colour schemes and even planned out the nursery with them, I kept it neutral as we still don't know what we will be having but hopefully we should find out next week I'm sure that's what Amelia mentioned.

**I should be done working at four, by the time I shower and dress and let's call it half 5 and we leave for dinner. That will be great idea I'll leave you get on I few a few things to do and shower myself.** Mateo enters into my room, ***"so how's things with Amelia? you left abruptly last night"*** I pause, I didn't think it was that abrupt but I haven't really noticed much of what I've done lately. ***"Good I think we're going for food tonight and I may take her for a walk after, I was just pestering her last night, I didn't realise how much this pregnancy would take toll on her could you do me a favour and ask Nathan for me, if I let you know if we go for a walk down the shore could you both stay hidden and take some snaps please I want to get some canvas prints done for her" "yeh just let us know." "cheers bro"*** Mateo leaves after a quick chat and i continue to get some things done in the meantime time only to realise I'm gonna have to start sorting myself out it's 4.30 already and Amelia is probably getting herself ready as we speak.

***"Amelia you look as beautiful as ever"*** Amelia dressed in a casual baby blue dress, which excentuated her growing pup bump, I have never found her more attractive than I do now. ***"Don't look so bad yourself Lucas" "are you ready? we're not going too far and table is already reserved" "yes thank you, let's go"*** I offer my arm for her to hold, as we walk out I reach out for the BM keys their not there, strange, I'll just take the Merc then, ***"if your looking to the BM keys they won't be there, it's gone in for some work, needed a few bits doing" "oh I didn't realise", "it's fine I sorted it"*** I just take the Merc keys and head to the car, I open the door for my lady and head around for the drivers door.

We drove in silence for a while neither of us knowing what to say, slightly awkward if you ask me. ***"So how's all the pack stuff coming along?" "fine I think I'm up to date if I'm honest" "I'll do the work tomorrow you take a day off, you deserve it" "there's no need to Lucas I've got it" "you've also been doing it alone for a while now, it's about time I started to give you a break" "thank you, so what's changed you?" "I don't know, just lots of thoughts and memories I guess, Ma comes back and forth in my head sometimes, I question if I'm hallucinating but it tends to give me a kick that I need" "I see" "Amelia I don't know how I could even put into words how sorry I am, I've been all over the place and took it out on everyone else, most of all you and you didn't deserve it" "let's hope you can remain the Lucas we love and cherrish".***

As we arrive at the restraunt she looks in awe, this place is amazing, soft lighting, relaxing atmosphere and a perfect view of ocean, ***"beautiful here isn't it" "your telling me" "come, let's find our table and chill."*** I find a waitress at the bar she looks through the bookings and agrees to to show us to our table takes our drinks order and hands us some menus. I scan through the menu, looks quite extensive for a small restraunt but sometimes choice is a good thing. ***"Amelia is there anything that takes your liking?" "I'm looking at either the hoison duck or spagetti and meatballs, how about you?" "they both sound nice, I'm not too sure I'm not used to having so much to choose from on that though a mixed grill sounds amazing, I haven't eaten properly for I don't even know how long" "I wasn't either until I found out about this little miracle" "I'm glad your eating now, keep you and our pup strong and healthy" "it's the sickness that's getting me most, I have to eat more because I know eventually it's going to come out and I wouldn't be getting my full amount in" "isn't there something you can take to stop it?" "Mark and I have tried a few things they don't work though according to Jordan my body will triple the rate it would normally metabolise so nothing really worth while" "we will have to keep feeding you," "often as I can tolerate but I try".*** The waiter shows up and takes our order but continues to stare at us, I shoo him away he soon gets the hint.

***"Amelia I just want to say thank you for accepting to come with me tonight, I am extremly sorry for everything I have put you through, I know I need to regain your trust and show you how wrong I was and I realise that now, I don't exactly know what came over me, everyone was telling me but I just couldn't see it." "I forgive you but right now I'm having a hard time, trying to work my head around the pregnancy and you, I love you Lucas" "I appreciate that Amelia, I love you too beautiful".*** Food was served and we continued to chat and eat, we actually had a nice time. ***"Amelia would you like a walk along the shore to finish the evening?" "I'd love to thank you Lucas"*** with that I paid the bill and got our coats to leave.

**Boys it's a green light we are heading for our walk.**