Chapter 78 Looking for forgiveness

After my mothers visit, I can see things clearer, I had no idea how bad things had got with everyone. I kept questioning myself how on earth do I apologise for this? It isn't going to happen over night I know that much. If I start with the boys maybe it's a good place to start. I miss Amelia but I can't just waltz in acting like nothing happened, I'll have to come up with something I can't leave it like this, maybe the boys can help out with Amelia and some ideas how to get her back. glad your finally realising your in the wrong, this is gonna take alot more than just a quick apology. I know I need to sort it out

First things first breakfast and head down to training, I start cooking myself up an omelette, it's about time I started turning things around, I feel more energised today plus I have a mission on my hands I don't know how I'm going to pull all this off but it's about time I tried. As I sat eating breakfast I was trying to come up with some plans to show her just how sorry I am but nothing seems to be good enough. I'll have a word with the boys down in training and we will go from there.

***"Good training sesh guys," "yeh I guess so." "Look I just want to apologise for the way I've been recently it's taken alot for me to see the hell I've put everyone through I just hope you guys can find a way to forgive me for my foolish behaviour, I realise now that none of this is any bodies fault it's just a part of my journey, I want to turn things around and be the best Alpha I can be." "Finally you see that, you have put everyone through some crap, your pack is begining to hate you, you need to prove to everyone your not your father not just us, the whole pack deserves an apology."*** Mateo annswered. ***"The main person you should be going to is Amelia, you've broken her heart, she is suffering you know. It's her you need to make amends with" "I realise that but I don't know how, I can't think of the words to tell her, I can't figure out anything to even begin to explain to her how sorry I am." "Have you thought about how much stress she's under maybe, give her some time out and organise a date night for the two of you" "but whatever you do don't be giving her demands of what she should and shouldn't be doing if she's not ready to move back don't force her you need to build it up again, you really hurt her, everything needs to be on her terms and her time not yours"*** Nathan insisted. ***"Okay I'll get thinking, if I need some help will you come help please, I don’t know how I'm going to do this." "no worries just give us a shout".***

I hit the shower following training feeling far more refreshed than I have done for a while. Positive energy surrounding me I head down to Nikki's room to see if Amelia is around there. ***"Hey is Amelia around?"*** I questioned ***"no and she doesn't need any added stress right now, she's gone to meet with some of the new pack members, from mating" "oh I see, I didn’t know we had new members" "you wouldn't because you haven't got the time of day for anyone, everyone turns to Amelia for everything, she gets abit crazy sometimes but she manages. Why anyway? come to have another go at her for something she hasn't done?" "no actually I came to give my apologies for my behaviour and my attitude recently, in which I owe you one too, I also need to thank you for supporting and being there for her while I had my head up my ass to say the least." "thank you and your welcome but it's not that simple I won't be able to forget it that easy, I also hope you have something better for your wife, because she deserves far more with everything she has been through enough and you brought her past back to haunt her she even contemplated leaving the pack all together but she couldn't leave everyone else down" "I do plan on proving to her I am sorry and that I have been a terrible mate and I want to make it up to her so everything will follow on her terms, but I do want to start taking her out and dating like we used to and prove she is my one and only once again" " you better had or you've lost the one thing people around here struggle to find and thats true love not just from a mating bond but through your strength and attraction for eachother" "I'm gonna give it my all Nikki, so unsure how this is going to go though" "time and patience is all you need" "Thanks Nikki."***

I wonder around the packhouse trying to locate Amelia, much to my  avail I can't find her, I asked one of the Omega's ***"Where's Amelia?" "last I checked she was down doing some laundry we are abit short staffed today Alpha"*** placing her head down in shame ***"She shouldn't be doing laundry in her condition" "what condition Alpha she seemed fine this morning" "she's pregnant with my pup she shouldn't be doing laundry and all the lifting and walking that requires"*** I scolded. ***"Sorry Alpha no one knew she offered and took it upon herself to help out" "she's stubborn thats why" "I'll get someone to cover her it's fine Alpha" "it's okay I'll address the matter myself, it's not your fault".***

I find Amelia sat down on the floor with piles of washing around her, she clutched on to her tummy ***"Amelia are you okay? are you hurt? I'm taking you to Mark immediatly" "no you won't be taking me anywhere, it's called growing pains Lucas, now go ahead and do whatever I'm busy" "No I'm not going anywhere, I've come to help you with the washing. Amelia I want to make it up to you I'm sorry for everything I have put you through, you were right I had no right to treat people the way I did and worst of all you, even then your tried to help me I've had my head up god knows where, I apologise and don't expect you to forgive me right away, but I would like the opportunity to make it up to you". "damn right you have Lucas, and no I won't be forgiving you easily, you have hurt this pack and me with your actions this place could have fallen apart." "I am aware Amelia that is why I'm going to start by helping you with this laundry"*** I see Amelia smirk a little at the sound of me doing laundry, granted I have no idea what to do or where to even start so alot of guidance will be needed here but I'll do anything to show this woman what she means to me. Those golden eyes still sparkle like they did before except she has puffy eyes probably from the crying and sleepless nights that I caused guilt running through my veins making me angry at myself. That's all about to change I need to turn that frown upside down and get my Amelia back. As she directed me what to do with the laundry and sorted out who's went where, it was almost finished even if we had been at it a few hours, we laughed and joked around like we normally would. ***"Thank you for your help Lucas, I have to go get showered and changed for dinner tonight, see you later at dinner?" "yes I'll be joining tonight see you later"*** I pecked her head and let her go and get herself organised. I felt the warmth and comfort radiating from her, I felt exactly same, it was like heaven, I have felt or been close to her for so long it sent waves of sensations through my body, igniting that fire again, thank goddess she's willing to give me a chance even though I don't deserve it.

**I hear things are going okay with Amelia she's acting like a teenage girl here. Yes I guess it is but I'm taking my time I don't want to push her too quickly. Good you need to gain her trust and forgiveness with no expectations.**

As I get myself ready to head down for my first dinner with the pack for I don't even know how long. I'll put on some slouch jeans, converse and a polo should be good, perhaps I'll be able to convince Amelia to head out with me tomorrow but she did say something about another scan soon so I'm not too sure when that is. Maybe she might want one of them gender reveal things, who knows just gotta go with the flow. I sigh at my own thoughts, if I wasn't such a idiot I wouldn't be doing this right now.