TEN | CONFLICTED

In tutoring Ms. Jin follows the same format as her class. First we go over the alphabet, then pronunciations, then new material. By the end I'm exhausted, my mind running Latin in a loop in my head. *Ugh*. I practically *run* out of the building when she dismisses me.

I do pause by my locker though, just to switch out my books since I hadn't had the opportunity earlier. Thanks to Zane's antics. I frown as I think about that. Once again, not really sure if I'll ever be one-hundred-percent okay with discussing the vision aloud. Not with the kiss that almost was and the questions of my past I'm sure he'll ask. He'd tell the Reiniers where I am... Right? That's what any other Wolven would. They have to protect their Pack from invasion or all-out war. Pack first. That was the rule drilled into me by Grandmother. The first lesson I was taught.

Frowning, I can't seem to imagine Zane just giving me over to my psychotic family - even if it meant protecting his own family. But that's just me hoping...right? He doesn't seem the type...but how well do I really know him? I shake my head as my thoughts flip back an forth in a confusing and chaotic debate about Zane's honor.

As I toss my stuff into the car and begin driving out of the parking lot, my stomach decides to make it's presence known with a cringe-worthy growl. I need to eat. I groan, wondering if I should just start packing my own lunch to carry me through the day. I find myself craving something hearty and mentally search through the recipes Mom used to make when I was feeling particularly ravenous.

*To the store we go*. I decide on stew. Mom's stew-surprise was amazing. Hearty, warming, filled with nutrition... My stomach growls again and I banish the thought of the meal as I drive to the market for a few extra groceries. I mentally catalog the route for the future. Before I know it, I'm dashing around the inside of the store and drooling over various unhealthy, carb-heavy, sugary sweets I know Mom would be pissed about. But I buy a package of the cookies anyway.

I've always had a sweet tooth. Unfortunately, Mom doesn't, her focus has always been centered on health and keeping our bodies running efficiently. I wonder if maybe my dad liked sweets. I try to scour my thoughts for the few occasions Mom talked about him, but can't seem to find my answer. I'm so wrapped up in my thoughts I don't feel it until I'm leaving the store. Prickles on the back of my neck.

My breath catches in my throat. I can feel eyes on my back, familiar eyes that make my blood run like ice in my veins. I can feel the hate being projected towards me, it's practically palpable. Ryker. I don't look over my shoulder as I leave the store, trying to keep my heart from breaking into a gallop. *Why couldn't I sense him earlier? Why can't I sense him now?*

*Breathe, Scarlett*. I mentally chide myself as I walk to my car, feeling the dying light of the sun on my face. When I get to my car I look up - right at the spot where I could feel those icy blue eyes watching me. The spot between aisle three and the registers. But there's nothing there. *Of course there's nothing there*.

I try not to panic. I can still feel eyes on me, his eyes, but it's coming from another place. I grit my teeth, knowing if Ry is really here, he'd have come at me by now. He was never good at being patient. I take a breath and ignore the itch on my skin. Maybe this is just another one of those things that comes with prolonged separation from the Pack. I should ask Mom when she calls.

I open the door to my car and duck into the driver's side with my groceries. It's been a while since I've attempted to make something new, and what with the weirdness of the last few days, I need the distraction. I pull away from the parking lot and begin driving home...but just to be safe, I make sure to take the long way, doubling back a few times before going to the little rental. You can never be too careful, right? Last I want is to ignore a warning only to have it come try and kill me in my sleep.

"How'd it go with the Pack?" I ask when Mom calls an hour later. I'm sitting on the counter top in the kitchen, my bowl of stew-surprise resting on a large plastic slab over my knees.

"*Could have gone better.*" She replies tiredly, sighing. "*Some prices are too steep*."

"Hm." I agree, frowning and playing with a nugget of carrot in the bowl. I slurp the broth from my spoon and nod to myself. It's good, but missing something... Mom's version of the stew was rich with flavor and amazing. This is just...meh.

"*What're you eating?"* She asks softly, the sounds of the outdoors fade and I hear a door click shut.

"Stew-surprise." I mumble around a mouthful of vegetable and thick tomato-beef broth. I hear her foot steps stop abruptly, pausing before continuing in their usual rhythm.

"*Missing me that much?*" She tries to sound casual, but as usual, I can hear the strain. I don't know why she's anxious. It's not like her stew surprise was anything super special. I just really liked the taste of the broth is all... It made me feel warm whenever she made it.

"Thought I'd try to replicate it, but you never told me what the 'surprise' was so it just tastes like stew." I tell her, frowning at the hearty mess I made.

"*Maybe I'll give you the recipe for your birthday*." Mom laughs, but the sound is forced.

"That gross, huh?" I tease around another mouthful.

"*And I'll have to teach you manners again, it seems*." She avoids answering my question. I roll my eyes.

"Ugh, you sound like Zane." I growl before I can stop myself. Then immediately freeze when I realize my slip.

"*Zane*..." Mom prompts and I wince at the interest in her voice. I ignore her for a second, eating another mouthful before answering.

"Azure. He's one of the Wolven I mentioned."

"*I see... And he's seen your habits first hand, has he?*" Her tone is teasing again and I can't stop the blush that works it's way to my cheeks.

"We have the same lunch period together...and a couple of classes, too." I admit.

"*Is he the 'nice' Azure you told me about?*" She's enjoying this way too much. I frown at the bowl in my lap, stirring the stew before answering.

"Yeah. Him and a few of his cousins." I say quietly, thinking about what to tell her, how much to tell her. "His sister's nice too. I think she's a Sensor, though." *What is wrong with me today?* Mom sucks in a breath.

"*Sensing is hereditary, Wisty.*" Her voice is too controlled now, colder, and I know who she's thinking about. Craven. His psychopathy was amplified by the power his ability gave him. The gift drove him crazy, just like it had his father...and his dead sister.

"I don't know what Zane is." I tell her quietly. "He doesn't seem to have any special abilities." I lie, then wince as my tone gives me away. "Besides that vision thing I told you about." A dangerous topic to bring up. I silently curse myself as I realize too late how Mom will connect the dots. It's too easy to make the intuitive leap between what I told her and the whole vision thing.

"*You should keep your distance from them.*" She finally says, and I can hear the frown from here. I wince again, wondering if I should just admit to everything. I mean, it's not like I'm lying to her directly, but if she finds out I'm avoiding telling her the whole truth she'd go ballistic.

"I am. Well, I'm trying." I amend the statement so it's fully correct. Mom says nothing for a minute and the other end of the line is completely silent.

"*Honey, you'd tell me if you...if you ever met..*." She begins slowly, hesitantly. I frown, chewing the inside of my cheek anxiously. *Now or never, Scarlett*. I close my eyes.

"Nothing would change, even if I did." I tell her, feeling the hollowness in my chest spreading to consume my whole body at the statement.

"*Some things are worth the risk*." She finally says. My eyes flash open, widening in surprise. Her number one rule, no friends, flashes in my mind and crumbles to pieces. "Y*our father...he was one of those things. And I would never change the past if it meant I'd never had met him.*" I stare at the stew in my lap again, not sure how to reply. This is the most she's said about my dad.

I want to ask about him. Ask if what she told me about him was true. If he really was just another human - or was something special. Did she know from the moment she met him that he was her mate? Were they true mates? Was that why, despite him being human, mom married him? Did being away from him - separated from him by death - did it hurt? Or was she just empty? How is she so strong now? Does she still love him? Have her feelings for him faded any?

I find that I can't speak. A lumps has risen in my throat, raw emotion for the loss of someone I'd never met slamming into me as I try to put myself in Mom's shoes. Somehow, when I put myself in her shoes, I can't help but imagine Zane as my other half. My mate. My true mate. Soul mate. I don't even know Zane that well, but I can't even fathom being more than a few states away from him right now.

It's then I realize something else. I *like* him. I don't know when it happened. I don't even know how it's possible to fall for a guy in less than two days, but somehow I've found myself at the edge of a crossroads. I can let it happen, accept the bond forming between us, or I can flat-out reject him - which I'm now very sure will destroy me. The realization slaps me across the face. I suddenly can't breath, fear grips my lungs in a vice and I choke on a gasp. Nausea twists at my stomach and I clap a hand over my mouth as my stomach heaves.

"*Wisty*?" Mom sounds alarmed. I swallow, hard. Shaking my head, I clear my throat as a sour taste fills my mouth.

"Sorry, soup's hot." I lie, the words coming smoothly enough. "I just realized I have this huge exam tomorrow." Another lie that slips off my tongue. Tears cloud my vision and I set the tray aside, hopping off the counter as my stomach begins to ache. "I gotta go, Mom. Talk to you tomorrow." I hang up before she can reply and dash for the bathroom as another wave of nausea consumes me.

- - -

I'm late to homeroom. Ms. Lewis frowns at me as I stumble into the room, but doesn't comment on my tardiness. Maybe it's 'cause I look like shit warmed over today? After the talk with Mom I really couldn't down another bite of stew. I ended up putting the stuff away in the fridge and turning in early. Even then, I couldn't sleep. Nightmares of my tenth birthday kept me up, or in a state of fitful unrest. I woke up this morning with shadows under my eyes and my scars burning on my skin.

Even now, my scars still ache and throb as my clothes rub against them. Which is every time I move. Long-story-short, I'm in a really, really bad mood. I shuffle to my waiting seat, nodding to Yuri as I pass in greeting. It's the least I can do since he's helping me avoid Zane. Sort of.

Zane glares at me when I sit down beside him, pulling my chair a few more inches away from him. I ignore him, fishing through my back pack to make sure everything's in order for the rest of my day. I really do need to figure out a long-term plan if I'm going to keep avoiding him. I'm overly exhausted with yesterday's avoidance already. Maybe I should just talk to him? Talk and play dumb. Then the 'poker-face' comment he made floats back into my mind and I grimace.

I'm not mentally prepared to lie to him outright. I breathe a little sigh and press my forehead into the worn fabric of my back pack. Ms. Lewis finishes with the morning announcements and the room breaks out in soft chatter. Yuri's chair squeaks and I feel a tap on my head.

"Hey, gorgeous, wake up." Yuri's resting his chin on his crossed forearms, our faces way too close. I sit up abruptly and he laughs. "C'mon, I'm not that ugly." He grins, leaning back in his chair. Zane's gone. I look around for him, surprised I hadn't noticed his departure. Then spot him talking to a couple of girls a few rows away. I can't make out what they're saying, which is weird since they should still be in my range of hearing. I frown, wondering about that 'Sensors-being-hereditary-thing' Mom mentioned last night. Could Zane be blocking me? Craven could do that - to an extent. But only for a short period of time. "Don't worry, they're harmless."

"I wasn't worried." I frown at Yuri and catch Zane glance over at us from the corner of my eye. I turn bright red. "I-I mean I don't care." I stammer, and even to me, it sounds like a defensive lie.

"If you say so." Yuri smirks, stretching in his chair. "I'll give you five when class ends."

"Five?" I blink at him. My brain still feels like sludge this morning. *I'd kill for a coffee right about now*.

"Minutes. You know, a head start." He nods his head a Zane. "But I have a feeling today's going to have to be the last time." He adds quickly.

"Thanks anyway." I nod, knowing we can't keep this up forever. I'm just going to have to talk to Zane at some point. But maybe I can buy myself the rest of the day. Then I'll have the weekend to breathe and think about what I'm going to say to him.

"Yeah, well, it's been fun." Yuri admits, standing and going over to his cousin - just as the dismissal bell sounds. I don't bother looking over my shoulder at the Azures as I leave with the humans in our class.

- - -

I relax a little in Shannery's class, thinking about my tactics to avoid Zane for the rest of the day. Considering most of our classes together are taught by very serious teachers, I think I can get away with just sitting beside him until PE. But maybe I can get Yuri to help me again. Shouldn't be too hard, right? Yuri didn't seem to mind yesterday, or this morning.

I nod to myself and collect my things before the bell rings. Once we've been dismissed, I head to math. I get to class before Zane and am studiously taking notes by the time he arrives. He's got a fading bruise over her left eye. I stare at him, wondering if Yuri's plan earlier involved a fight. I don't like the idea of the two cousins fighting. Especially if they manage to hurt each other. And I definitely don't like seeing Zane with any visible injuries.

Zane says nothing as he takes his seat beside me. I'm suddenly itching to touch him again. *Ugh*. My hands ball into fists under the table and I turn to face the front of the room. My nails dig into my palms, the pen I'd been writing with starts to groan under the force I'm exerting over it. My nerve endings are on fire with the need to touch him. I wonder if this is what it's like to loose your mind. A warm hand covers one of mine. I feel my entire body stiffen as sweet relief floods my skin.

Zane doesn't say anything as he pries the pen from my hand, smoothing out my fingers with his own until my hands are pressed between his. I forget how to breathe as that sense of wholeness engulfs me. My eyes are glued to the blackboard where Mr. Harris is talking about the test we're going to be having next week. He's practically giving us the equations we need for the exam and I couldn't care less.

Zane's finger tips dance over the backs of my hands, smoothing and soothing with a slight pressure that's both firm and feather-like. I try to keep my thoughts away from the feel of his fingers, try not to imagine how they'd feel on my arms, my face...over my scars. I swallow hard, my lungs back in working order as my cheeks burst into flame. I pull my hands from Zane's and try to hide behind my hair.

Trying to ignore the thoughts his touch was inducing, I pick up my pen and continue scribbling notes about the equations. *Focus, Scarlett. You suck at math, you need to do well on this first test*. I chide myself. It doesn't help as much as I hope. Having Zane less than a foot from me is distracting as hell. Every so often, his knee nudges mine under the desk. At first I think it's accidental, but after the third time I know it's not.

I narrow my eyes at him, trying to muster my best scowl, but the expression disintegrates on my face when he flashes me his most beautiful smile. I turn away quickly and twist so my back is slightly towards him while I try to take notes. He stops bothering me for the rest of the period. Even then, only half of my notes seem to make sense when I've finished. I grimace, wondering if I'm going to have to ask for tutoring.

"Walk with me." Zane says a second before the bell rings. I blink, frowning at the order-like tone he's using and trying to decipher if he's going to try to talk to me if I say yes. "Just walk. I swear. We're going to the same place anyway." He gathers his things and stands. I look up at him, unsure. This could be a trap. Or he could just want to walk.

"Fine. Only 'cause we're going to the same room anyway." I finally give - a second later. I try to hide my eagerness as I get up, stowing my notebook in my back pack along with my pen. I brush past him, taking the lead until we exit the room. The hall is crowded so Zane has to stay close to avoid getting separated as humans bustle along to their next class. I begin down my usual route, but Zane suddenly grabs my hand, pulling me towards the other end of the hall.

"This way's faster." He explains, not releasing my hand as he tugs me towards a back stairwell I hadn't noticed. It's in use, other humans are traveling by it, but not as many as the main one I've been using over the last few days.

"Huh." I murmur as I follow him, easily matching his brisk pace up the flight of stairs and to the next landing. We end up right next to Ms. Jin's room. "Rather convenient." I note the congested end of the hall I've been using. It would have taken me twice as long to have used my normal route. We walk in comfortable silence the rest of the way to Mr. Hale's room. As usual, the door to our English teacher's room is opened and Mr. Hale is chatting with a student at his desk when we walk in.

I pause in the doorway, remembering only then I'm still holding Zane's hand. I pry my hand from his and grasp the straps of my back pack before heading to my desk. Zane doesn't comment on my abruptness, as promised. I feel an oddly warm, mushy emotion lift my spirits as I take my seat. The strange desire to hum threatens me and I swear it's actually warm in here. Is this what it's like to be with your mate? This cheerful and carefree?

I grimace and plop down in my chair and fish through my back pack for my American Lit notebook and pen. Still, my grim mood from earlier seems to have been transformed and I can't stop myself from smiling. No matter how many times I try to remind myself that this is temporary and I could leave this town any day. It doesn't help.

Luckily, I am able to concentrate over Mr. Hale's lecture. I take notes when I think it's necessary but mostly find myself listening to the point he's making. By the end of the class, I'm in an oddly peaceful state. All thoughts about my old Pack are out of my mind, the visions have taken a back-seat kind of priority, and I'm thinking clearly for the first time in days.

Then the bell rings.

"Red, we need to talk." Zane mutters to me softly over the sound of the bell. I hear it clear as day. The little bubble of happiness is suddenly popped and reality comes crashing into place. *What am I doing? This is going to hurt when I leave, I shouldn't be encouraging this* thing *between us*.

Before I can get out of my chair, Zane's hand grabs mine under the table like he had in math. Warmth courses through me, making a little shive run down my spine. My breath hitches, and I try to pull away, but he holds fast. Firmly, but gently. I have no choice but hold still as our classmates leave. His knuckles are rough, calloused beneath my finger tips.

"Red," Everyone but us and Mr. Hale have left now. I get to my feet before he can say anything else and he lets my hand go. "*Red*-" He tries again, his voice going a little lower in warning as I prepare to bolt.

"Mr. Azure, a word?" Mr. Hale saves me yet again. I back up a little and edge towards the door.

"Gimme a sec, Hale." Zane growls at our teacher, marching after me. The temperature in the room suddenly plummets and Zane freezes, the color draining from his face.

"Zane, now." Mr. Hale's tone is the same, but there's something in his voice that's more commanding. I shiver as his words echo in my head and duck out of the room.