NINETY-FIVE | STARTING AGAIN

Winter Break is over now. Another two weeks have flown by with me repeating the same routine I had before the treaty. I've been alone most days, only Mom and Hale coming in and out to bring me news and homework. It's the Monday after classes have resumed, but I've continued to stay home. Debating the risk-and-reward of going back to school. I'm still considering the Queen's words, *one step at a time*. I don't know how it'll be to go back to mingling with humans on a daily basis and trying to move on wit my life.

Hale told me I can stay home for a while longer, that my alibi - being sick and still recovering - is still in place and I don't have to decide anything jut yet. I've honestly been so shocked at how everything turned out that I'm still shell-shocked. So much has happened. I'm free. Really free. None of it feels real yet. Maybe I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. But no one's forcing me to come to terms with everything just yet. They have their own lives to live.

I'm staring at the tree line from my spot on a cleared patch of frozen earth. The powdery white of snow making everything around me seem bright and fresh and so empty. Cold.

I still haven't decided if I like feeling cold again. The emptiness from the Blooming has subsided, only jarring me when I forget to supplement a meal with blood. I've graduated to consuming five bags a day. Two with breakfast, one with lunch and two with dinner. It doesn't bother me as much as it once did, consuming the thick cold stuff.

But in the back of my mind, I can't help but compare the meager flavor with that of Blue's blood. And then I feel terrible all over again. It's probably why I've been ignoring Blue's texts. And the few calls he tried. He's stopped trying to get ahold of me via phone. He knows where I live and can probably sense me as strongly as I can sense him. And he's stayed away.

Which is good, I tell myself, because the last thing I want is a repeat of the Blooming where I drank directly from him.

Liar. Part of me whispers in that overly sweet and melodic voice. I shiver, shoving my conflicting thoughts down. I breathe deeply, letting the icy air flow into me so deep it hurts. Not the kind of hurt my throat and lungs feel when I'm thirsty, but the usual surface ache. I let out a huff - too fast - and end up coughing.

"Scarlett?" A familiar female voice asks me and I feel my whole body freeze. "What are you doing out here, silly? It's freezing!" Darine's jogging over to me, her pale blonde hair is tucked into a thick, bright orange beanie, a matching - practically neon - orange parka making her look like the rounded fruit on steroids as she gets closer. A grinning fruit, full of excited energy I can feel from where I sit.

"I think my retinas are fried." I tell her, blinking hard as she stops a few feet away, huffing clouds of vapor in the coldness. Her blue-green eyes are wide at my comment, then she rolls them, crossing her arms - with effort - across her chest. Well, I think it's her chest. A partly annoyed-partly chagrin smirk makes her too-pale lips flare with color.

*Th-thump. Th-thump*. The slowing rhythm of her heart catches my attention in the brief silence, and I feel all humor drain from me. She's talking, but her words aren't connecting over the sound of her pulse. She speaks, probably asking me something - as my mind scrambles to recall whatever she said, I just swallow as the familiar thirst rolls over me.

"I'm sorry, what?" I croak and she frowns, tilting her head at me. My mouth's on fire and I have to keep rubbing my tongue against my canines to make sure they're still normal-sized. My throat's becoming too tight, aching as if I've sung for three days straight - making it difficult to breathe as my lungs throb.

*Th-thump. Drink-me. Th-thump. Drink-me. Th-Thump-*

"I asked you when you're coming back to school." She repeats slowly, narrowing her eyes as she studies me. The sweet song of her blood's making it hard for me to concentrate, but I manage. "Yuri and Zane said you were sick and were recovering these last few weeks. I didn't believe then, but..." She takes a step closer to me, the beat of her heart picking up slightly and the heady scent of sweetness and iron thick in the air. I breathe through the aches of thirst, concentrating on each breath and the rise and fall of my chest. "You're looking a little pale and-" She frowns, taking another step towards me. "Y-your eyes- Did you get contacts?" She gasps, her own eyes widening a little. I don't know what she sees, but I avert my own eyes out of caution.

"S-Stay back," I manage to get out, my whole body flinching with her advance. I feel the red curtain at the edges of my vision closing in and icy cold in my bones flare with her close proximity. "Still contagious." I lie lamely, getting to my feet slowly and taking a step back from her. The scent of her heavenly blood fades a little as I focus on the crunch of fresh snow under my shoes.

*She's a few feet away. Three or four. It would take nothing to cross it - less than a second if I'm fast. She wouldn't feel a thing. Not even have time to comprehend*-

The plan springs to mind with a cold calculation, breathing into my ear like the whisper of a demon. I shiver and wrap my arms around myself to stop them from reaching out to her.

"Oh, okay." Darine's look of concern and a flicker of hurt flash across her face for the briefest second. "Are you sure you should be out here?" She asks me, taking the way I'm holding myself to mean that I'm cold. With the thrumming chill in my bones, I'm not feeling the winter breeze on my skin anymore.

"Just wanted some fresh air." I lie again, giving her my best sheepish smile. Her blood smells so good. Full of her vibrancy and life- "You played hooky just to come see me?" I ask her instead of moving any closer - or farther. I swallow again, finding slightly easier now that I've changed the subject - and track of my thoughts. She blushes, bright red flaring to her whole face.

*Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-Thump*. I feel my whole body stiffen as it refocuses, pulling at me with each beat of her heart. *Drink-me. Drink-me*-

"No. Yes." She admits in a huff and looks at the ground, her blood rising even faster under the surface of her skin- "I didn't believe Yuri and Zane. I thought, well...I was worried you'd gone missing or been kidnapped or something." She explains, looking back at me sheepishly.

"No such luck." I reply dryly, not telling her about my running away or that I technically was kidnapped - by Blue - and have really been prepping and-

Suddenly, all I want is to go back to school. To try to return to some sort of normalcy. Get on with my life.

"Was it really bad?" Darine asks, her eyes widening a little at my tone. Her concern rises in the scent of her blood, making the sweetness flare with her compassion- I clear my throat, curling and uncurling my toes in my shoes. The slightly painful flexing of the digits grounds me.

"Not really. But I kept getting sick. We had to try a few different treatments." I say - giving a few vague details to hopefully calm her mind. "But I'm better now. Doc says I'll be good to return to school soon as my labs are clear." I add, beginning the lie that should allow me to go back to school.

"Yikes," Darine frowns, but doesn't ask any specifics - like I knew she wouldn't. "Did they give you a timeline?" She hedges, a slight eagerness in her voice. I smirk at her, only now wondering if her concern is the only reason she came by today. She's texted me a few times, but not much since I really haven't replied to her. *What was I supposed to say?*

"Maybe a few more days. Week at most." I shrug and note the faded flush on her skin...and lack of pain in my throat. I can still smell her blood, hear the pulse of it under her skin, but it's not painful to me. Not right now. *One step at a time*. "I'm sorry I haven't been answering you texts or calls." I tell her honestly. She gives me a little sad smile.

"It's okay. You were probably busy-"

"No, it was wrong." I shake my head, taking a step towards her. Nothing. I take another step, then another, stopping when there's only two feet between us. My throat tightens slightly, but there's no burning in my lungs or ache in my jaw. No annoying plans to kill and drink her. "I should have replied and let you know I was okay."

"It's in the past now. Just...maybe answer from now on." She tells me with a slightly more hopeful expression.

"I will." I vow, mentally adding it to my mental to-do list. "You seem like you've got a lot of gossip I need to catch up on." I grin at her after a second and she grins back.

"Oh, honey," She relaxes a little, but the excitement from the scent of her blood becomes so feverish that I'm afraid she's about to combust. "There's so much you've missed!" She's almost bouncing. I laugh, my whole body relaxing with talk of something other than blood or fighting.

"Call me tonight and we can talk all about it." I tell her. "I should get back inside before my toes freeze." I add to her slightly deflated expression.

"Right. And you probably don't want to get sick again." She nods after a second, thinking.

"Yeah, I don't think I could stand another round of meds." I nod with her, forcing my expression to be grim. She visibly relaxes and shudders a bit, her nose wrinkling.

"Then I'll call you later. And I expect a full report about these last few months." She commands authoritatively. I laugh and nod, pretending to agree with her. I'll make something up, I'm sure.

"And you had better get me up-to-date on everything I've missed." I warn her, walking with her around the side of the house to the front. A little, burnt orange car sits in the freshly shoveled driveway. "And what's with all the orange?" I add in exasperation. Darine laughs, a flush rising to her face yet again. This time, when the smell of her blood and the pounding of her heart fill my senses, I'm able to ignore it. My lungs ache a little as we stop in front of the little metal thing.

"Like I said, you've missed a lot." She tells me wistfully, her eyes trained of the car with something like longing in her eyes. I raise an eyebrow at her, not even bothering to hide my curiosity. "I'll call you!" She snaps out of it, pointedly not looking at me as she springs back into action and quickly dashes to the drivers side. I laugh, waving at her as she gets into the car and starts the thing up.

I get the inkling feeling that Darine's got a boyfriend. That or a pension for orange - which she never expressed before. In fact, she's never worn anything so bright and peppy before. She was obviously embarrassed by the brightness of her parka, but didn't look the least bit apologetic or disgusted in the thing. So either it was a gift from a special someone or she likes the color. I seriously doubt the second, despite the similar coloring of her car.

I wave until she pulls out of the drive and wait until her car disappears around the corner of the street before going back inside to defrost and come up with a plausible story to tell my friend.