FORTY-TWO | SHADOWED

"I'm going stir crazy." I whine three days later, rubbing at my temples in annoyance. I really need some caffeine if I'm going to put up with him yet again.

"Maybe next time you'll think twice before running." Mikyle grumbles snidely in a low voice so Mom can't hear. He's managed to pick up on the fact that my hearings gotten better over the last few weeks. I didn't notice it till the morning after I came back - yesterday - when I was semi-well rested and had heated enough to feed a couple of starving elephants.

"What was that, Mikyle?" Mom asks sharply, narrowing her eyes at my shadow. I've started to call him that now. Aside from me using the bathroom and sleeping, the vamps always by my side. Three days is all it took for me to start feeling claustrophobic around him.

"Just wondering what was on the menu today, Lady M." Mikyle lies smoothly, grinning an overly-sweet smile at my mom. I grimace at the man.

"I'm making apple cinnamon oatmeal for breakfast, and you two can have leftovers if you get hungry. Mikyle, Hale brought over some more donor bags for you last night, by the way." Mom relaxes, clearly not picking up on the blood-sucker's bull.

"Oh, joy, donor bags." Mikyle visibly pales, his peppy demeanor failing.

"I know you're used to a certain amount of...luxury, Mikyle-" Mom grimaces at my shadow before turning off the stove and coming over to me with a piping hot cup of caffeine goodness. I grin at her and take a large gulp of the blood-sugar-cube-laced stuff, for once not caring that it has blood, just so thankful for it's warming ability over my bone-chilled body.

"It's fine, Lady M. Not like that crap's gonna kill me." Mikyle tells her, giving her a small, false smile.

"Honestly, I don't see what the hype is about blood from the source compared to blood-bags." Mom sighs and plants a kiss on the top of my head before gathering her purse and the black apron from Lia's. She's been working late there and strategizing with the Azures during the day.

"It's a vamp thing. Like how fresh food is better than canned food." Mikyle says, and the analogy turns my stomach.

"Ah, well..." Mom seems as disgusted as I am about the whole thing, and changes the subject. "Don't forget to have your homework done by-"

"Four, I know, Mom. Hale's here at four to get it - *promptly*. You don't have to remind me." I interrupt, my annoyance rising back to the surface yet again. That's changed some too. Emotions seem to hang around me like a black cloud, the negative normally lasting a while then fading in and out at the most inopportune moments. Like now.

"Right." Mom replies, a little deflated. "Make sure you keep her safe, Mikyle." She adds before leaving.

"You're kind of a bitch, princess." Mikyle says in his normal volume after a minute.

"Fuck off, Mikyle." I snap at him, one corner of my upper lip twisting up to uncover my teeth. That's yet another thing. My anger is five times more potent, nearly choking me and always, always bubbling over. I stare into the vampire's blood-red eyes, their color so close to blood that I temporarily forget they're eyes and not rings of fresh, hot, *delicious*-

"Reign it in, princess." Mikyle's cold hand's suddenly on mine the pressure more akin to the feeling of water than a physical touch. "You can do it." His gentle encouragement is so out of character that it snaps me back to the present moment. "There you are." He gives me his ultra-rare sincere smile that dances in his eyes, making that color look more like the dying flames of a fire than blood. If my heart hadn't already been stolen by Blue, I'd definitely have given it to Mikyle in that moment.

Speaking of hot, elusive Wolven... I haven't seen Blue over the last three days. Though, maybe that's because I've been under house-arrest since I've come back... I just thought that maybe he'd make the effort to come see me at least once. Maybe I'm just being needy? Yeah. I mean it's *only* been three days...right?

"Ugh, you're such a pain in the ass." I scoff at Mikyle, getting up to serve myself breakfast. I pull out a bowl from the cabinet and serve myself a few heaping ladlefuls of the gloopy, pink stuff with speckles of cinnamon and diced apple. I know just by smelling the stuff it's already been sweetened. My mouth's watering, though I know that's because Mom put some blood into this more than the fact it's one of my favorite flavorings of oatmeal. I try to just accept the fact and move on.

"That's my line, princess." He's back to his usual careless self. I never thought I'd be so relieved to have this side of him showing.

"And that 'princess' bull is getting old." I growl at him, but if anything, I'm relieved he's reverted back to using that annoying nickname. It reminds me he's just another jackass of a guy. One who's only here because he's been ordered to be.

"Want me to use another one? Like babe? Or darling?" Mikyle's teasing voice is right in my ear when he talks next, temporarily throwing me off kilter. My head whips up to stare at him. He's leaning against the counter beside me, eyes back to that crimson hue. "Or pipsqueak?" He smirks.

"You're a jackass." I seathe at him, brandishing the ladle at him like a wand.

"And you're a bitch." He replies off-handedly, but there's no real force behind the words. "Do me a favor, princess, save me some of that stuff. Your mom makes some killer vamp food." He peers over my shoulder to sniff at the pot of oatmeal. "For a Wolven." He adds as an afterthought and I snap at him with my teeth. "Down, princess." He laughs, jumping back and just managing to dodge my attempt to sink my teeth into his jugular. "It's a compliment."

"You're such a-" I hiss at him, narrowing my eyes at my shadow.

"Jackass," Mikyle grins at me, finishing my sentence. "I know." He shuffle out the backdoor, leaving it open for me to follow. I normally eat my meals outside, finding it less stuffy now that I spend most of my time indoors. A muscle in my jaw ticks and I fight to keep his knowledge of this from affecting me. It's borderline sweet for some reason, and I'm really not liking it.

- - -

Math sucks. Really, I wish I knew whoever decided to add this stuff to human curriculum and strangle them. Ok, no, that's just the vampiric side talking. I bury my face in the textbook and let out a long groan of frustration. I drum my feet against the plush comforter. Mom replaced my singular cot with a two twin beds. One for her and one for me, though she's been sleeping beside me since I got back cause of Mikyle. And she also wakes me up when I have nightmares. Well, when she notices them. Most of the time, I don't scream.

"Giving up already?" Mikyle asks from the floor. His eyes are closed, hands resting on his flat stomach, seemingly dead cause he doesn't breathe as deeply as humans.

"Leave me alone." I grumble at him half-heartedly, keeping one side of my face plastered to the book. Maybe I'll learn something by osmosis if I just stay like this for a few minutes.

"You know, the Azure pups have been juggling their studies seamlessly, even with the random attacks." Mikyle ignores my words, verbally poking me where it hurts.

"Shut up." I snarl at him, lifting my head as my anger from earlier resurfaces. He's suddenly right in front of me, eyes bright, glowing crimson. Level with mine. *Too close*.

"It's a pity," He begins again, his words biting through the temporary barrier his close proximity raised. "Your high status is wasted on such an empty-brained, self-absorbed, *princess*-" I explode, getting right up in his face, leaving only an inch between us as the boiling anger rages into a full-blown fire inside me.

"*Go away, Mikyle!*" I hiss at him, narrowing my eyes at him. My voice goes up at least two octaves, and just like that time with Hale, the words are overly sweet. The man frowns, blinking a few times before abruptly turning on his heels and disappearing.

I'm finally alone.

With the main source of my anger gone, I'm suddenly very calm. I sit there for what feel like forever, but I know only a few minutes of utter silence have elapsed. For the first time since I've gotten back to Kiwina, I'm alone. Freedom like I've never known before lifts a weight I hadn't noticed off my shoulders as I sit there.

And then Mikyle's words hit me again. I grit my teeth against those words. *Empty-brained. Self-absorbed. Princess*. I know what I am. I'm not super smart. And I've been so selfish lately that I can't argue with that second one. The the last. That's something I can't change. I snarl at the empty walls around me before hoping off my bed and walking outside.

I pace by the greenhouse, back and forth, like a caged animal as the most cutting part of the conversation replays in my head over and over again.

"You know, the Azure pups have been juggling their studies seamlessly, even with the random attacks." Mikyle's voice taunts me over and over. My twisted brain can't help but add *because of you* to the end of that. Then that's all I hear. *Because of you*. The voice is mine, but also not mine. In my head, chanting, sneering, hissing like a snake - until I think I've gone insane.

Something builds in me. Swelling in my chest until I'm afraid it'll burst out any second, or engulf me, or destroy me. All I know is I can't be here right now. I need to be somewhere else. Anywhere else.