THIRTY | COLD

After the rush of customers at Lia's, Mom goes to the back room to gather boxes for us to restock items. I take the brief break to chug some tea, letting the warm liquid fill my stomach. But that guy was right. I'm only slightly warmer, the odd cold returns after a few minutes, soaking even deeper into me. He insinuated this thing is part of the Blooming-thing. At least, that's what I'm assuming he meant. He called it 'the change'. I shiver, recapping my tea and setting the thermos back down.

Maybe I should visit the Coven? Talk to someone about what other things I should be expecting. The idea sounds silly, even to me. I smirk, thinking I'd much rather chew on tree bark than go hang around bloodsuckers voluntarily.

No, I'll just ask Hale. He's been straight forward with me since I remembered who he was. I should talk to him first.

"Hey," I wander over to where Mom's setting cardboard boxes by the shelves where the items will be restocked. It's so strange to see her doing something as mundane as restocking.

"Hey," She smiles at me, straightening when she sees the apprehensive look on my face. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah. I, uh," I take a deep breath. "I'd like to talk to Hale tonight if he's available."

"If this is about what Mikyle said-" She begins in a rush, a little snarl twisting at her upper lip.

"It's not- well not entirely - that too, but," I shrug. "I think it's about time I start learning about my other side. What to expect. What it means." *How to avoid attacking people I get close to*.

"Okay, I can call him after work. We can all have dinner together." Mom nods solemnly, looking almost as resolute as I feel.

For such a small store, they sure do get a lot of patrons... We get a few more small rushes over the next few hours, never a repeat customer, and almost all of them members of the Azure Pack. No more vampires bother me, but I do catch a few watching me curiously when I cash them out. There are some species, of the non-human sort, that I can't name. Their scents are odd, always a mix of pine and something else. Some smell like smoke, a couple like fresh herbs, and other still are some sort of shifter, but not Wolven.

And not all of them are as nice as Grandma Sophie. I get a few annoyed looks, a near-snarl from a few others, but most avoid eye-contact with me entirely. I don't mind. It just gives me a general feel of how my presence is perceived in the Azure Pack. It's pretty mixed, to be honest.

Lia's closes at midnight, but Alpha Azure comes to relieve us around eight.

"Things slow down from eight to closing," The Alpha explains when we begin to protest. "I'll happily welcome the distraction, ladies. So, please, don't worry," He tells us warmly. I note the dark circles under his eyes, like the ones Yuri and Blue had today. It's like a few years have been taken from him, his movements slower than usual.

"Is...is Caly," I begin slowly, fearing the worst for a moment. How would I know? I'm not in the Pack.

"Oh, no. Calypso is doing just fine." Alpha Azure says quickly, a flicker of surprise running across his face. "She's been sleeping mostly, but Doctor Blythe estimates she'll be back to her old self by next week."

"Good. That's so good," I breathe, my shoulders sagging with relief. I smile at the man, feeling that pinch of guilt that's been making me squirmy all day begin to fade a bit. "Would it be okay if you could tell her something for me?" I ask after a second.

"Sure," He replies slowly.

"Tell her I'm going to make Craven pay. He's not going to get away with this. I swear. And," I make my tone a little lighter. "Whenever she's up to it, I'd happily buy her a cup of java." Alpha Azure barks out a little laugh, his surprised chuckles dying slowly as he shakes his head.

"Alright, I'll pass that along." Alpha Azure smirks. "She keeps complaining about the coffee her mother's been giving her," He leans in and lowers his voice conspiratorially. "I think it's decaf."

"I understand her pain," I shake my head and cast a glance at my own mom. When I was recovering those few weeks we were together a few years ago, Mom had tried to get me off the caffeine wagon by feeding me decaffeinated coffee. Problem was, I could easily taste and feel the difference. I'm sure Caly can too.

"Tell Luna Sandra to mix in just a little of the usual blend. Calypso'll never know the difference." Mom deadpans. I scoff, not sure how to respond to that, but she may have a point.

"I will tell her." Alpha Azure nods, grinning a little mischievously now. "You two had better get home, I'm sure you're both tired."

"Indeed," Mom sighs, stretching a little before turning to me and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "I'll be in again at the same time tomorrow, Alpha Sal." She adds to him before guiding me towards the exit.

- - -

I hum to myself, working on the last assignment I have to turn in tomorrow. Mom called Hale over about an hour ago and the two have been making dinner ever since. I decided to finish my homework before broaching the subject of my curiosity. That asides... I hear the two laughing from my room, their amicable chatting and laughing hasn't let up once since Hale got here. I smile a little to myself, recalling my conversations with Mom about him.

I find myself absently fingering the chain of the necklace I haven't left home without since the dance. Something about the warmth emanating from the stone, tucked securely under my clothes, is rather soothing. Not in a sleepy sort of way, but more like a reassuring way. I feel calmer, more relaxed with the thing on.

Everything feels so strange now. It wasn't too long ago I was out here on my own, knowing nothing of my father, thinking about running from Kiwina on a whim. I can't help but dwell on the fact that so much could have been avoided if I'd just taken off then.

A rueful smile twists at my lips and I sigh, setting my pen aside and putting my assignment away.

"Hey, sunshine," Hale greets me with a warm smile, standing beside Mom at the stove, stirring a pot of what looks like-

"Stew-surprise!" I can't help the dreamy quality my voice takes as I take a whiff of the hearty aroma. I hadn't even noticed until now. Maybe my nose's broken or something. My mouth starts watering immediately and Mom laughs. Is it just me, or does she sound a little nervous?

"It's almost ready, honey," She says to me, turning of the other side of the stove and removing a fresh pot of hot water. She moves around the kitchen, getting three mugs of tea ready.

"So," I prompt, taking a seat at the island and studying my parents. Hale looks up at me first, walking over and leaning his forearms over the counter. He's about two feet away from me, but I appreciate his full attention when I know the questions I'm about to ask may not be the most tactful.

"Ask away, sunshine," He tells me, jade eyes flickering to emerald green for the briefest moment. It's like I'm starting to see through the façade, though the glamor.

"Some guy came into Lia's today," I prompt, not sure how much he knows.

"I heard," He nods, his expression going stony. "Mikyle is one of my advisors."

"He looks young." I fish a bit, and Hale smirks.

"He isn't." Hale confirms. "But I do trust him."

"Anyway, he said some stuff." I go back to my very first question. "Blood?" I decide to prompt him to tell me things instead of asking out-right.

"It's food, but we don't really need much to survive." Hale says calmly. "We don't kill our donors - if anything - they are well taken-care-of and generously compensated. In my Coven at least." He adds the last part a little hesitantly, but I know if vamps are real, there's got to be a bunch around the country. I'm not surprised to hear him confirm as much.

"Have you ever killed anyone?" I get a little sidetrack, I'll admit, but the question - once in my mind - is impossible not to ask.

"Yes." His answer is direct. I'm both relieved and horrified to hear his truthful answer. "I've lived a long life. If I've learned one thing, it's that death is unavoidable. Battles sometimes have to be fought in order to preserve certain freedoms or make an everlasting peace. And even then, aside from war, yes. I have killed before. Being a vampire comes with certain...vices."

"Blood?" I ask again, feeling my chest ache a bit at the mention of it. It's not a wanting sort of ache, but a worried one.

"Yes, blood." He smirks a bit before his expression becomes stoic again. "More specifically, bloodlust. There's a certain...*exhilaration* when you feed directly from a host. Some find it harder than others to resist the urge to chase that high and, in over-indulging, become something...primal." His eyes become icy as he speaks.

"Like Ms. Jin?" I blurt out before I can stop myself. Mom stops moving, just about to set our mugs in front of us. "Mom said she went rogue when I was little." I admit.

"Ritska never got to the point of which I speak." Hale casts Mom a little frown, his expression flashing to a look of something close to hurt before going blank. "Almost. But not entirely. I'm referring to an irreversible state, something that robs us of what remains of our souls..." I wince, wrapping my hands around the mug of tea Mom passes me. "I'm telling you this, not to frighten you, but make you aware of the perilous consequences to our condition." I take a big sip of tea, letting the liquid warm me a few degrees before the cold seeps back in.

"So...we can loose our souls by drinking too much blood?" I try to wrap my head around everything he's telling me.

"Yes. And when we do, we become something that is truly a thing of nightmares." He pauses, almost hesitating before explaining. "We call it a Revenant," The word in of itself sounds terrifying. "Other Covens have different words for it, but I find that one the most apt. The urge to feed becomes impossible to ignore, your humanoid body begins to transform into something made for finding and killing anything and everything in your path."

"There's no higher thinking in those who fully make the transformation. And, to our knowledge, they do not feel pain." I silently wonder if this is where the myths of vampires come from. Which is why dispatching them is so difficult. But there are some who have the skills and knowledge to perform such tasks." My curiosity is piqued at that, but I don't interrupt him.

"Anyway," He sigh a little. "It takes an obscene amount of blood-consumption to cross the line. More than five gallons...you would have to drain blood from ten people in quick succession before getting to that point." I'm stunned for a second.

"Why would anyone want-?" I bluster in confusion.

"It's stronger in the recently-made, *Moroi*, they're called." Hale adopts his lecture-tone for a second. "The transition is difficult for many humans, some have stronger urges to feed than others."

"But I'm not a *Moroi*...?" By the sounds of it, the *Moroi* are humans turned vamp. Not born like me.

"No, sunshine, you're not." He gives me a wary smile. "But that doesn't exclude the possibility either." He cocks his head to the side. "You would be considered *Strigoi*, more specifically, a Guardian in our society."

"Guardian? Of what?" The word makes it sound like I should be protecting something.

"*That* is a very long explanation, we can give you a proper history lesson along with genealogy at another time." He hedges. "For the sake of time, just know that our status as Guardian *Strigoi* does not preclude the possibility of becoming a Revenant."

"Okay," I nod slowly, taking another long drink of tea before continuing. "So...Mikyle said something about cold." Again, I can't seem to ask what I want directly.

"Yes." Hale's voice gets a little mono-toned.

"I think I...I started to change on the night of the Halloween dance. I felt like I suddenly grew fangs and everything went red-"

"Did you drink any blood?" He interrupts me, a slightly panicky look flashing over his face.

"No. I-I wanted to but, we were trying to find Caly." I explain, squeezing the mug in my hands a little nervously. "And when we found her- I was so mad - and then everything was back to normal."

"How long have you been having these...*episodes*?" Hale asks slowly, carefully.

"Since I came here. It doesn't happen all the time. Maybe a total of three or four times now."

"Four," Hale repeats slowly, his face still stoic, but his eyes are icy. He really has a great poker-face when he puts his mind to it.

"Is that a bad thing?" I decide to be direct about this, and my mouth complies.

"Not bad, no. But it is a little troubling." He rubs his jaw thoughtfully, going quiet for a moment.

"What does it mean?" I try to coax back his chatty responses, not liking how little he's sharing about this.

"It means," Hale begins slowly, thoughtfully. "You're going to be one hell of a vampire." I swear I hear a bit of pride in his words. "It also means the process is going to be very *uncomfortable* for you."

"Uncomfortable?" I repeat stupidly, wondering what the hell that's supposed to mean.

"Sensitivity to light, sound...pretty much every sense will be amplified as the time of your Blooming draws closer. You will notice an increase in irritability. Your stamina will decrease and sleeping longer than normal." He explains, then hesitates again. "However, some of the more powerful of our kind usually report nightmares as well, and an inability to feel warm." I take a second to digest that. Not really sure if I like what that means. But then...

"Not you?" I ask curiously, wondering if he went though the same thing when he Bloomed if he's so old and powerful.

"Sunshine, I can't even recall a time before my Blooming. That is how very old my memory is." He says dryly with a little smirk.

"Ah." So I was right, he's ancient. I finish my tea, reveling in the temporary warmth.

"I can refer you to a physician in our Coven-"

"I'd prefer to talk with someone who handles both sides, if that's okay." I try to compromise, really hating the idea of being seen by a bloodsucker about this when I'm only *half*-vamp. "Doc Blythe?" I suggest.

"She is, in fact, relatively qualified to handle your situation," Hale nods slowly, considering. "However, I suggest you at least try to schedule one appointment with our physician."

"I'll think about it." I deadpan. He gives me a little smile, like he knows full-well I will not 'think about it'.

"Any other questions?" Mom serves three bowls of stew surprise and I decide to ask my final question.

"Mikyle said something about shakes." I prompt again. I note a muscle in my father's jaw tick.

"Did he?" The question comes out icily. I wine, wondering if I just got the man in trouble. Oops. "Yes, that is a side effect that some have reported, but not something you should worry about." He doesn't explain what it means, which means it's probably not something I want to hear. I frown at him, waiting. Finally, he sighs and runs a hand over his face. "It's a prequel to becoming a Revenant. Uncontrollable shaking."

"But that only happens if I drink too much blood, right?" I clarify, wondering why Mikyle would think I was turning into a monster.

"Yes." Hale says firmly...maybe a little too firmly. I'm not convinced, but I don't push him any further. "Anything else?"

"Nope."