SEVENTY-ONE | MENDING BRIDGES

"Morning, Mom." I murmur as I walk into the kitchen. Mom's on her cell, talking to someone I can't hear, but she offers me a little smile. I take my usual seat, rolling my stiff neck and shoulders. The nightmares were even worse last night. The vision was playing on repeat in high definition with replays of the night I was chased out of the Reinier pack - the echoing screams still ringing through my head.

"Here, honey," Mom passes me a steaming mug. I feel disappointment shudder through me as I look into the steaming amber liquid. "It's probably best you avoid caffeine today." She tells me.

"Okay." I sigh, silently agreeing with her, though I'm not happy about it. Last thing I want is to be jittery at any point of the day. What with everything I saw yesterday, I'm afraid to do anything that could raise my blood pressure. Apperantly physical control isn't enough or that would never have happened - whatever I did-*do*- in the future. *Maybe I should try meditation or something?*

"And that was your father." She adds, raising her phone. "He agreed with me, no training for today." She's back to her no-nonsense tone. I smile warily, wrapping my fingers around the hot mug. The tea is sweet and unfamiliar to me, but I can tell it's been sweetened with the sin-a-cubes. I take a few deep drinks before answering.

"Okay." I repeat, not in the mood to do anything except lay in the greenhouse anyway. I know Yuri wouldn't go easy on me if we trained today, despite the shit show of yesterday. So, today is recovery day. Tomorrow, I go back to the training and talk to Doc Quin about the vision. *Maybe*. I'm still thinking that one over.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mom suddenly asks, pausing in front of me, worry clear on her face. I blink out of my thoughts and force a warmer smile onto my face.

"Nah. I'll be fine." I lie smoothly, relieved there's no pack bond between us to give away the truth. But I can't talk to her about the vision when I'm to scared to even revisit the terrible memory of it. Besides, it's not like anything she says will make me feel better about what I saw anyway. I need to talk to another Wolven about it first...and if my senses are working right, he's almost here.

"I don't know what happened between you two, Wisty," Mom begins, also seeming to notice the presence closing in. "But I think you two need to work it out. You only get one mate." She says, her words making me wince a little. "Anyway, I need to get going or I'll be late."

"Bye," I call after her and don't bother turning as she opens the front door to greet Blue. I know without look it's him - the bond between us back to thrumming, though there's no emotion or life from his side, I can *feel* his presence.

"Remember what I said, Wisty." Mom calls back before her footsteps fade. I grumble my response as the scent of parchment and pine wraps around me. Blue shuffles into the kitchen, hands in his pockets. As always, looking gorgeous even in his simple t-shirt and jeans combo. It's really not fair how my heart skips a few beats, tripping over itself at the mere sight of him.

We say nothing for a second as he looks around the kitchen, clearly avoiding looking at me. I turn my own eyes away from his perfect form and stare into what's left of my still warm tea, watching the reflection of my sapphire eyes warily. Dark circles are more prominent under my eyes and I wonder if I should try sleeping the day away or if that course of action will just lead to more hellish nightmares.

"We should talk." Blue tells me after a minute. I glance up at him, studying his expressionless face as he watches me. Radio-silence greets me when I try to sense what he's feeling through the still-existing bond between us.

"You know, I really do hate it when you do that." I tell him, letting out the breath I was holding. I bring my mug to my lips and finish off the rest of my tea, wishing the stuff was coffee.

"I know." He replies, ducking his head and letting out his own sigh. Clearly uncomfortable, he runs one hand through his thick hair, disheveling the already messy darkness even more. I wish I didn't find that so adorable. It'd make being annoyed with him easier. "I'm working on it." He suddenly adds - not bothering to hide the chagrin on his face.

"Hm. Needs some work." I grumble under my breath, but smile anyway. He smirks back, bringing his hands from his pockets and crossing them over his chest. "Alright then, let's talk." I swing my body on the chair so I'm fully facing him now.

"The vision last night sucked," He gets right to it. I feel my smile fade from my face and the now so familiar solemn expression slip over like a mask. "Don't do that." Blue's right in front of me now, rough fingers caressing the side of my face. I look at him, feeling a hollow echo despite his touch, in the bond between us. *Still blocking me*.

"I'm working on it." I echo his words from earlier and his tense face relaxes a little.

"God, I've missed you," He sighs, the expression he used to have while looking at me peeking through the cracks. *Warmth and longing and protective, fierce*- The surge of emotion I suddenly sense stun me for a second before he takes a deep breath and steps away, taking his feelings with him. "Sorry-"

"Don't be." I cut in, my voice more biting that I want it to be. "I like knowing what you're feeling- thinking," I admit, clasping my hands nervouly in my lap. Blue continues to stare at me, his face once again clear of any emotion, but silvery grey eyes swirling with indecision.

"They were dead." He croaks. "All of them." The tingly warmth I'd been experiencing is doused by that cruel reminder.

"I figured as much," I breathe, lowering my eyes from his as the events of the vision begin their familiar replay in my mind. "That vision was different from the others - it felt more out of context than usual - but also purposeful." I tell him what I've managed to decipher from it. "I killed packmates, didn't I?"

"Yeah. And allies. And some humans." Blue sighs, running a hand through his hair roughly. I note the agitated hunch of his shoulders and clearly distressed look in his eyes as he glares at the stove.

"You know exactly who, don't you?" I ask - but I already know the answer from his expressive body. I'd be blind not to recognize the flare of panic in his bright, monochromatic eyes when they flick over to mine.

"It's not going to happen." He steps into my bubble, almost tenderly taking my face in his hands. It's safe to touch now that we've had a vision this week, but it doesn't stop me from flinching - more from the expectation of another vision than Blue's actual touch. I've come to hate the visions after this last one. Hate seeing the future - something I've been secretly looking forward to until now. Now it's all shit. The past. The present. And now the future.

"Why do I ruin everything good in my life?" I breathe aloud without meaning to, heat suddenly stabbing behind my eyes. The words erupt from my lips on the verge of a sob. Blue's mask cracks again, pain and regret flashing across it before he pulls me tightly to his chest.

"It's not you." He growls firmly, his strong arms squeezing me gently as my breath hitches and breaks, the emotion I've been trying to lock away all morning bursting out of me. Tears begin to stream down my face, catching in the cotton fabric of Blue's shirt as I burry my face. I cling to his chest, ignoring the events of last few weeks and letting everything go - everything but him. "It's not you." Blue repeats so fervently that, for a second, I believe him. "It's not your fault. Shit happens, Red." He continues, using that same tone - so assured in the words he's speaking. "You've just been dealt a shit-hand in life. It's not because of you that everything's shit. It's in-spite of you. In spite of your trying to survive, trying to brave through it." My body keeps shaking with my sobs as I listen to him, and for once, I let the words flow through me, let their warmth fill me. They nestle in the deepest worn recessed of my broken heart, transforming the terrible scars of the past into badges of honor. "You're stronger than you think." Blue breathes in my ear, his breath warming the side of my neck and making me shiver.

"A monster has to be strong." I manage to mutter with a humorous and bitter edge to my voice.

"You're not a monster." Blue growls flintily, pushing away from me and just as quickly taking me by my shoulders. His silvery eyes have darkened again, glowing slightly the way they do when he's pissed. "You're powerful, yes. Still trying to learn control, but you're trying. You're not out in the world trying to hurt people. Hell, you barely even touch *donated* blood." He rants while I stare at him, my crying long forgotten. "You're doing everything you can to understand this new power and trying so hard to not let it screw you up in the process." His face softens and that gentle smile flits back to his lips. "You can't keep ignoring the facts, Red. You're doing the best you can to make sure you don't hurt anyone. That's all anyone can ask of you."

"Have you been stalking me?" I ask suddenly, narrowing my eyes at him. His serious expression breaks fully and he laughs with a wild abandon I haven't seen from him since that first week we met.

"You could have come visit me." I remind him dryly. He shrugs, face slowly closing up again, becoming guarded and cautious.

"There's a lot going on I can't talk to you about, Red. No matter how much I want to, I literally *can't*." He looks me in the eyes, holding my gaze so I get the point. I frown, crossing my arms and staring back at him.

"I wouldn't ask questions. I know there are things I'm not allowed to know as an outsider, Blue. That can't be the only reason you've been avoiding me." I tell him coolly.

"It's better we keep some distance between us, Red, just trust me on that." Blue groans, running a hand through his thick, inky hair. I roll my eyes, hating how cryptic he's being. "Just until all this is over-"

"And what if it's never over?" I snap at him, exasperated. There's only so much bullshit I can take. And after everything we've been through together, everything we've talked about, I can't just blindly accept his excuses anymore. "The Reiniers have allies in Europe for fuck's sake! Old ties that like to fight, like the idea of revenge-"

"I don't want to fight with you, Red-" Blue groans, his face twisting with a mix of anger and frustration. "Can't we just-" He waves his hands in the air, like he's trying to conjure the right words. I blink, finding it oddly adorable - seeing him so flustered. "Fuck!" I can't help the smirk that twists as my mood swings violently at the sight of this new peculiarity of his.

"You gotta buy me dinner first." I mutter, holding back a laugh that wants to bubble from my now soaring heart. Blue blinks, then blushes - full on bright pink staining his entire face - as he realizes what he's said. *Why is he so cute?* I wonder to myself adoringly, watching as he scrambles to regain his composure. I miss discovering new things about him, a sense of amazement slowly filling me as I think about how little I really know about my mate, despite how much we've been through. Everything we've shared with each other.

Blue closes his eyes, taking a series of deep breaths before pacing the length of the kitchen. I watch him, still amused, despite his obviously conflicted emotions. He's always been so composed, so stoic or so casually unapologetic with his feelings, right now - I'm surprised to discover this other side of him. He can get scattered like me. Emotionally. It's something I never would have guessed we shared. It makes me want to learn more, talk more with him and spend more time with him till we know everything about each other. Fully understand each other-

"Something's come up," Blue suddenly freezes, a faraway look in his eyes, and I know he must be communicating telepathically with someone from the pack. "I'm sorry, I need to get back."

"Right." I mutter softly, unable to stop the bitter feelings now rising in my stomach. He's leaving me - again. And who knows how long until we talk again... Sadness fills me, twisting all the happiness I was feeling just a few seconds ago into something aching and heavy.

"This will all end. I promise-" Blue tells me, taking my hands in his and looking me in the eye.

"You can't-" I roll my eyes, but he shakes his head, cutting me off.

"It will end. One way or another." He tells me firmly. "And when it does, I promise I will do whatever I can to make sure you're safe. That we'll all be safe. We'll be together." He says earnestly, and I know he believes it...but I'm still not sure if I do. "Until then, please," He squeezes my hands, searching my eyes worriedly. "Please don't do anything stupid." I laugh, not sure if I should feel offended or relieved by his words. Either he's accusing me of acting stupidly...or he knows me well enough that he knows how dangerously close I am to loosing my shit. I'd like to think the latter.