SEVENTY-FOUR | DISCUSSION

I stare at the darkness beyond the slightly frosted-over glass high above me. There's no moon tonight, thick clouds are making the sky a muddy grey rather than the speckled thing of beauty that's been helping me fall asleep the last few nights. I love waking up to see the sky after a nightmare, getting lost in the starlight and letting them remind me the nightmare wasn't real. But not tonight, it seems.

I let out a heavy sigh and sit up on the thick blanket I've been laying on. My breath comes out in a little cloud, telling me it's cold out here. But I feel numb right now. I took the usual dose of potion a few hours ago, after showering and dinner. Mom likes to see me take the stuff - like she thinks the thing will help me. I haven't told her about the nightmares.

It's the whole reason for me sleeping out here. So she won't catch on. I always go back inside before five - which is when she usually wakes up. It's an ungodly hour - before the sun comes up and chases the terrors of the night away, but since I barely sleep these days, it's been rather effective. I throw off the little fleece blanket I'd covered myself with and begin folding everything up. I know I won't be sleeping tonight.

A knock on the door makes me jump to my feet. The frosted-over window only tells me that there's a tall figure on the other side, bundled in a coat. Caution takes over and I feel the bone-chilling ache of my vamp side begin to take over.

"Easy, it's just me." Blue's voice murmurs through the glass, just loud enough for me to hear. I relax, finally sensing him. He must have been blocking me before.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack." I hiss at him, feeling an inkling of annoyance stir in my stomach. Relief flares through me for a second before the numbness settles back in and I go over to slip out of the greenhouse.

"Are you insane, Red, it's below freezing!" Blue hisses back at me, his eyes widening at my bare arms as I join him outside in my pajamas. I'm wearing my usual t-shirt and sweatpants tonight. I roll my eyes at him.

"I'm part vamp, Blue, I won't get frostbite. Besides, I don't feel anything right now." I tell him honestly, leaning against the door to the greenhouse. He frowns at me, lips pressing into a thin line. Lips that are slightly blue. Worry breaks through the numbness and I feel the protective instincts from my Wolven side flare to life.

"Do you want to come inside? You look like you're-"

"Yeah." He mutters, and pulls me with him back into the greenhouse. I know it's not the warmest place, but it's usually thirty degrees warmer than it is outside. He stamps his feet a few times and rubs his warm hands over my arms. I smile at him in amusement as he tries to warm me with his own body heat.

"Seriously, Blue, I'm fine. What're you even doing out here? It's the middle of the night." I already know the answer to my question, though. It's pretty obvious, but I want to hear him admit it.

"You've been sleeping out here." He says back, his jaw flexing and ticking.

"You've been watching me." I conclude with a little amusement in my voice. He scowls, but I catch sight of the darkening color of his cheeks. "You are a voyeur." I giggle without meaning to, repeating the term Mikyle used when we last caught Blue spying. Blue growls, his silvery-grey eyes flashing and literally glowing in the darkness. They remind me of the stars I normally see and wonder if that's why I find them so comforting.

"I just wanted to make sure you're safe." He corrects stiffly and I smirk at him, crossing my arms defiantly. "You've been having nightmares." He adds and my heart skips a beat.

"Do you always watch me sleep?" I ask, unable to hide the amusement in my voice. His lips twist ruefully.

"You don't sleep. You scream and thrash around and cry." He grounds out, his eyes loosing their glow and settling into a darker color.

"So you just watch me." I clarify, narrowing my eyes at him as the amusement fades and annoyance takes its place.

"What could I do to help?" Blue shrugs. "I just want to make sure you don't have a seizure or something. I worry, Red." He runs a hand through his hair and looks around the room, raising an eyebrow at the half-folded blankets on the ground. "Why're you out here? I'm pretty sure you have a much more comfortable bed inside."

"I don't want Mom to know." I explain, shrugging. "She's got enough on her plate right now."

"You're..." He shakes his head and "So infuriating." He murmurs and pulls me towards the blankets. An immediate thrill runs through me despite the numbness of the potion.

"What're you-?" I don't pull away from him, but my curiosity and sudden nervousness is making me squirm a bit.

"Now that you know I'm here, we may as well talk until you can sleep." He tells me. The disappointment is immediate and I feel my mouth press into a thin line. I don't know what I was expecting. He told me we would be keeping our distance from each other.

"Fine." I grumble, crouching to smooth the blankets. Before I can lay the one I was trying to cover myself with, Blue takes the thing from my hands and wraps it around me, tucking me into the scratchy softness like it's a cocoon. I wiggle, trying to loosen the thing, but he's managed to tuck it around me just right so I can't unwrap it.

"Come here." Blue sighs, laying down on the blanket I've been using as my bed. I won't be able to touch him like this. I find it so annoying that he's this close to me, willing to be here until I fall asleep, but I can't draw any physical comfort from his reassuring touch.

I purse my lips and huff my disappointment as I settle down beside him. Before I can do much more than lay on my side, Blue wraps me in his arms, resting my head on his outstretched arm and using the other to hold me around my waist. We're face to face - the barrier of our clothes and the blanket suddenly so noticeable to me. There's a good ten inches between our bodies, I estimate, ten inches more than I'd like. I narrow my eyes at him, trying to wiggle closer, but he moves back at the same time - a little smirk twitching the corners of his mouth.

"You're mean." I growl at him. The urge to touch him is like a physical itch, but I settle back down without another word.

"I have no intention of torturing myself, thank you." Blue murmurs, gently moving loose curls from my face and studying my expression. He avoids touching my face, which only adds to my bad mood.

"So touching me is torture?" I ask bitterly, my mouth warping into an annoyed grimace.

"Don't twist my words, Red." He warns in a growl, narrowing his eyes back at me. He traces the edges of my jaw with the tips of his rough fingers, more lightly than I'd like, but the simple touch soothes a bit of my bitterness. "I just don't need the temptation right now."

"So I'm tempting?" I quirk an eyebrow at him. His fingers freeze and twitch slightly on my cheek, his eyes frozen on the spot. His eyes have flared with some of that dancing light I love, his lips parting as he lets out a stuttered breath.

"More than you'll ever know." He finally croaks, his fingers dragging through my hair now, his eyes returning to mine. "Will you talk to me now?"

"No more share-time?" I pout and he smirks, the seriousness draining from his eyes.

"Not for me." He reaffirms and I smirk back at him, nestling my body into a more comfortable position. I nuzzle the side of my face into the sleeve of his coat, appreciating the pillowy-softness of the material.

"I knew the nightmares would be getting worse the closer to my birthday we got. The Blooming and all," I roll my eyes and give him a rueful smile. "Hale told me as much when I asked a few months ago. So it's not like I wasn't expecting it, but it still sucks." I shrug a bit. "After the last vision, they're more about me killing people than my past."

"Wanna talk about them?" Blue asks carefully, his eyes guarded. I shake my head, grimacing.

"Can we talk about something else?" I don't want to relive the nightmares any more than I want to peel the skin off my body.

"Darine's been asking about you." He begins slowly, watching me for my reaction. I smile a little warily and nod to myself.

"How much does she know?" I ask him softly. I haven't given much thought to my friend, though maybe it's more like I've been avoiding thinking of her. If the Blooming results in option three, I won't be able to rejoin human society for a while.

"She's been kept out of the loop - not because of me - but because of Yuri." Blue smirks mischievously. I feel my own lips twist into an identical expression.

"He still ignorant to his own feelings, huh?"

"He's a lot like someone I know," Blue's lips twist as he fights a larger smile. I scowl at him.

"Pretty sure you and I are on the same page now," I grumble at him and his smile slips a bit.

"Anyway," He shakes his head a bit, as if to clear it. "We've been having Hale compel her to stay away from you until after the break." I nod, not really liking the idea of anyone messing with my friend's head, but it's the only way we can all rest easy - and I know my friend will be safe.

"Good." I nod my assent as my body relaxes a bit more, though I'm still far from tired. "I used to think all the vamp stuff was so invasive and creepy - well, I still do - but it's not so weird now, you know?"

"Yeah," Blue nods slowly, playing with one of my curls, fanning out the individual hairs against my cheek. "I guess it can be weird to hear about all the stuff if you weren't aware of it before." He shrugs. "I grew up learning about the things in our world. You learn nothing's really impossible." He adds, his eyes returning to mine. "Do you have plans for after graduation?"

"Uh," I let out a surprised laugh, blind-sided by his question. "I never really thought I'd make it this far." I admit, blinking a few times as I think about the question. "I don't know. It was never something I thought about seriously. But I guess it all depends on what happens after the Blooming and with all this shit-"

"You could go to college. Or get a job. Or live out of the Pack or Coven." Blue says quickly, his voice earnest. I refocus my attention on him, noting the slight panic in his eyes.

"What are your plans?" I ask him, not sure I can picture a real future without him in it. He relaxes a bit and gives me another rueful smile.

"College. I want to get a degree in English." He admits, his cheeks darkening a little. I blink and feel my lips twitch in surprise. I knew he was good at math, half expecting him to say something related to that - but this is new.

"Do you have a career in mind?" I remember his fascination with reading, the few months we were in school together.

"I think I'd like to teach it." He mutters and I smile.

"If that's what you want, I think you'd be a great teacher." I agree and he shares my smile, relaxing a little more.

"Think so?" He seems surprised by my words.

"I think," I begin, searching his eyes. "Whatever you choose to do, you'll be great at it." I reply honestly. "Whatever makes you happy."

"You make me happy." Blue murmurs with a gentle smile and I feel heat creep into my cheeks. "We have another year to go before we really have to decide." He shrugs and I feel my head bob in agreement. Above, the muddy sky is brightening a little and I know it must be morning already.

"We can revisit this topic in a few weeks." I agree and change the subject before we can get into the grimness of our reality. "I should go back inside before Mom wakes up." I sigh, wiggling into an upright position and finally managing to pull the blanket off me. I fold the thing up and set it aside in the space between us.

"And I should get back to the Pack." Blue nods, sitting up with me for a second before standing. I stand with him and we begin walking over to the greenhouse doors. "I'll be back tomorrow night - for the visions." He smirks at me. I roll my eyes and echo his words.

"For the visions." A little dread twisting my gut.

"It's okay, Red. Whatever we see, everything will be okay." He tells me gently, his eyes softening at my expression. Before I can say anything in response, a tune breaks through the conversation and Blue curses under his breath. He fishes out a phone from his coat pocket and frowns at the light up screen, glancing at me, then grimacing.