THIRTY-SIX| ON THE ROAD...AGAIN

While my plan formulates in the back of my mind, I also make a mental checklist of places I need to go to before I leave Kiwina. If I'm fast, no one will know I'm gone until it's too late. Which will make the getaway simpler.

My first stop leads me to the bank. I empty and close the account I'd opened a few days after getting my first paycheck from Lia's. It's not much, the slightly above minimum wage job only lasted about a week and a half, but I take it. Who knows how long I'll be gone? I also pull the money Mom had set aside for me in our shared account.

The second stop is by the house. I write a note, leaving it on the counter for Mom to find. I can't disappear without telling her why. She'd come after me, only putting herself at risk. So I just write that I'm going south, back to one of the first places we hid. Florida. Then maybe overseas to throw the Reiniers off my scent. It's something we once talked about doing, but I'm not quite that desperate yet.

West first. If that doesn't help, then, yeah. I'll try to leave the country somehow.

Right now I don't have the means or the papers to even try, not that Mom knows that.

At the house, I empty and re-pack my school backpack with what I need. A few changes of clothes, some light-weight, non-perishable food, and the contents of that first-aid kit Mom recently refilled. While I'm there, I also change out of my clothes, making sure to find inconspicuous things that won't stand out. The process takes longer than I'd originally anticipated - a little over thirty minutes - but Mom isn't there when I arrive or leave.

Hopefully, she's busy helping the Azure's plan. Maybe, by leading the Reiniers away, I can buy them some time. If I can make it even a month on my own and lead the Elite squad away from the Azures, I'm sure they'll have their defenses secured. Once made, the Reiniers hold grudges. It's only a matter of time before they try a larger scale attack on the Azures.

My last stop is to the train station. I need to go deep West if I stand any chance of surviving. The border, tornado alley, is jam-packed with Hunters and undesirable shifter Packs Mom and I have been staying away from since the beginning. A train or plane are the only ways to get past the area without getting stopped or killed at the checkpoints.

It hits me when I'm buying my tickets that I may never return. Pangs of fear and longing thrum through me with each beat of my heart as little flashes of the memory begin flickering through my mind. I've made friends here. I've been living a life that I never thought possible - a happy life with people who care about my wellbeing and have been watching out for me. And Blue-

A ripping sensation erupts deep in my chest, knocking the air from my lungs. A hiss of breath escapes my mouth and I stumble as I walk away from the counter with my boarding pass. Just his name is enough to cripple my senses. *I'm leaving him, too. And I may never see him again either*.

The reality of my decision keeps assaulting me. Battering me with memories of his smile, his eyes, that gentle look he'd started giving me before everything went to shit.

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to get rid of the pesky things ripping me apart inside.

*This is why I should have run in the beginning*. I can't help but think, gripping the straps of my back pack as I set my jaw, ignoring the stinging in my eyes and forcing myself to move forward to the platform. *The train's waiting. One foot in front of the other, Scarlett*. I encourage myself.

The aching sting in my eyes becomes unbearable and I have to blink hard as I board the train and pass the conductor my ticket. She nods to me, not looking at my face after she checks the little paper and tells me to find any available seat. I mutter a quiet *thanks* before moving past her. I stumble my way through the compartment, finding it harder and harder to ignore the turmoil of my emotions. But I somehow manage.

There aren't many people in the first car and even fewer as I go farther back. First things first.

I hide my cellphone in one of the last few cars, wedge the device between the seats, then move to the very first car again. I'm almost positive the Elite squad's been tracking me that way somehow. There's no other way they could have found me last night.

As soon as I find an empty row in the back of the car, I sit down and settle in for the long trip. The moment my things are settled in the seat beside me, I notice something hot sliding down my cheeks from my eyes. Water falls from my face in little drips. I stare at the stuff as my hands come away slick with the salty water. *When was the last time I cried?*

My lips quiver at the revelation that I'm actually crying for the first time in years. I almost forgot what it felt like. Almost as painful as the emotions whirling around in me, the aching pain in my eyes may be gone, but the pain's only intensifying. A twisted noise comes from my throat, a nearly whimper that I silence immediately.

*It's done. Stop it!* I scold myself, squeezing my eyes shut as my face screws up in pain. The emotions have congealed into one giant wave of sorrow, threatening to overwhelm me now that I'm stationary. *Make it stop*. I silently beg the powers that might be, praying it'll just switch off.

And then it does. But only after I've bitten my lip. The second my salty-sweet blood touches my tongue the anguish explodes into one last burst before completely disappearing.

My eyes flash open. I blink a few times, the steady calm within leaving behind nothing but utter coldness. Again. Only this time, I can't feel it. I robotically wipe the wetness from my face and sit back in my seat, unsure how all this makes me feel now. I decide that this is okay for now. I don't mind being numb for a little while. But somewhere in the back of my mind, something reminds me this isn't a good thing.

I take a nap for the first few hours, knowing it'll probably be the only amount of sleep I'll be getting from here on out. There's a connection from one station to the next, but aside that, I stay on the train and sleep as much as I can. Aftera few more hours, the numbness begins to wear off, but the pain of my departure from Kiwina isn't as bad if I keep myself busy and keep my thoughts far away from those I left behind.

- - -

I make it to my destination without any issues. No one looks twice at me as I leave the station, somewhere in the northern part of the midwest. I'm fully alert, despite the fitful sleep I had on the train. Something about leaving the North-east is screwing with my head. The farther west I go, the more the bond starts to almost physically itch. Deeply rooted in my head, little flashes of the good times I had with my Pack start warping my reality. Disassociated sounds float through my mind, phantom children I knew from the Pack appear, then disappear out of nowhere.

I knew this might happen. Mom said as much once when we got too far too fast in the beginning. The first few places were just outside the city, carefully scoped out motels or cabins. Eventually, over the course of a year, we made it to Florida. The very first place we actually felt safe. We'd thought it was far enough from the Pack. Of course, we were wrong.

I find myself thinking back to the good old days. Before leaving was a thought in either of our minds. A time when, though I wasn't fully accepted into the Pack, Grandmother made it clear what kind of role I'd be expected to play. It was a time I'd nearly forgotten about.

I didn't know what she was training me for, having me shadow her around the Pack. While she conducted day-to-day business, referring to me every so often so I'd pay attention. It's clear to me now that she was trying to groom me to take over. To be the new Alpha. Even when it was clear I would be a late bloomer, she kept me in the loop of the vaguest duties. I'd know about our overseas Pack allies, the times and dates for any meetings with other Packs in the area, I could even recite the lineage of every ally we had.

When Mom and I left, that information was the last thing on my mind. But now, the farther I get from the territory, the more I seem to remember.

*"You see that boat there," Grandmother asks me softly, pointing out the large ship entering the bay. Salty sea air whipping at our faces and clothes. A sense of exuberance fills me and I nod eagerly at her, keeping my eyes trained on the vessel as it comes closer. "That's called the Majestic, it belongs to the Mac Tíre Pack." She says and I know what she's expecting me to say*.

*"Our Irish allies," I supply eagerly, glancing up at her worn face to see if I'm right. She nods, a little smile playing at the corners of her lips. It's the highest praise I could hope for and feel myself stand a little straighter beside her as pride fills me*.

*"They're going to be staying with us for a few days while we wait for our other allies to make the trip across the sea." Grandmother gives me a patient look*.

*"The Shaw, Volkov, Lowell, and Farkas Packs." I supply.

*"Yes," She agrees and returns her gaze to the ship as she continues with the original conversation.

The memory is brief, just a piece of time, but it unlocks information I'd forgotten. Allies, so many allies... I massage my temples, reminding myself of why Mom and I had run for so long. At least five packs overseas and nearly ten in the states if I'm remembering correctly. All deadly-efficient and cold. All rooted deep in the east. It proves my move to come west was a good one.

I don't sleep my first night in a little town a few mile away from the train station. Despite it being a small, quiet place, I know I can't let my guard down just yet. So I busy myself with reorganizing my supplies after checking into a motel; taking stock of the few items I brought and making a mental note to do some shopping before moving on to the next town.

I also clean myself up. Sure, I've been traveling for two days by now and Hale did a good job of cleaning the blood from my skin, but I'm starting to feel greasy. I shower, carefully scrubbing over my injuries that aren't healed. Lucky for me, Paris and Craven didn't break any of my bones during our fights, so I don't have to worry about my mobility that much. The bruises on my right arm are a rancid mix of grape and blotchy red, but they're not nearly as dark as they were last I checked.

My neck isn't much better, ugly greenish-yellow and too swollen for turtlenecks. The skin's too tender to wear the necklace Hale'd given me too, so that's safely stowed away in my pack. I've been using an old t-shirt fashioned as a scarf to hide it since I've been wearing my hair up. And then there's that. My hair's a dead giveaway. Too red. Too unnaturally bright. I chew my lip, taking stock of the rest of my appearance in the mirror.

Though I tried to get some sleep that first day, I haven't allowed myself a moment's rest since - and it shows. Heavy circles ring my eyes and I'm paler than usual. Hale's face flashes to the forefront of my mind, warping my vision until I think it's him I'm staring at. I blink, rubbing my head and eyes until the mirage fades.

To get my mind off things, I make a quick run to a little grocery store. While I'm there, I pick up a couple boxes of hair dye, heavy duty makeup, and food. Once I get back to the motel I work on changing my appearance as best I can. The dye I got doesn't work as well as I wanted. The black stuff only makes the red of my hair look brown, and not a pretty chocolate brown either. It's a shit color between red and brown, patchy and obviously done by an amature upclose, but I hope it'll be enough so I can blend in for a little while.

I play with some of the makeup, for once wishing I'd asked Mom about applying the stuff before now. When I'm done with the altering stuff, I grimace at my face. The makeup is heavy, a little uneven and too obviously there... But I have to look for a while to know for sure the clown is me, so I leave it on. It'll help disguise me for a while.

Planning goes a little better. I decide to keep trekking west. I'm only just safe in terms of distance, but the train ride only brought me as far as the central part of the midwest and I know this is still too close to known Hunter territory to be considered 'safe'. If I go another fifty miles west, maybe I can find a city to hunker down in. Urban places are better if you're trying to avoid Hunters, but not good long-term for Wolven because of our need to hunt.

I figure hiding out in a big city will be okay for now since shifting is still a no-go. Maybe if I make it to my birthday, I'll go back. Maybe. I rub my forehead and eyes, ignoring the sleepiness that threatens to overcome my weary mind and gather my stuff. Before leaving the town, I grab a coffee with enough shots of espresso to buzz an elephant to keep me going.