EIGHTY-NINE | SQUAD

I doze off for a few hours, but nightmares plague me. Not the Bloom-creepy-things that I've been used to for the last few weeks, but normal-er ones. Some memories of before too. They wake me after sometime, tugging me from my tent and making me crave the sounds of the sea. I walk out of camp, as quietly as I can, down to the beach to the east of the clearing. It's not hard to navigate in the darkness of early morning. Cause now that I'm fully awake, I can feel it's early morning. Maybe four or five.

The clouds above are a mottled and thick grey mass, looking like they're about to burst. It'll be the first snow of the season. I shiver, wrapping my arms tightly around myself as I finally reach the rocky beach.

I look out at the water, watching the waves crash against the beach. Sadness weighs heavy in my stomach, grounding me in the moment as I feel the pull of my memories in the back of my mind. The mere scent of salt on the breeze and crashing of waves on the rocky beach calls up the life before my tenth birthday. Happier times when I thought I'd live with my Pack and grow up to become Alpha. My role in the Pack was almost guaranteed and my whole life lay before me-

"Scarlett?" Caly's voice is suddenly beside me. I tear my eyes from the ocean and look at my friend. "Hey, you okay?" She gently rests a hand over my shoulder, rubbing with just enough pressure that the contact feels reassuring. I can feel her sincerity through the bond between me and Blue, though he's not here. I can feel his connection to his whole Pack through him. It's so strange to be so connected, the bonds between them are so solid and familiar yet - so foreign to me. *Is this what a real Pack, real family, feels like?*

"Why are you still so nice to me?" I ask her quietly, though I know she hears me clearly. I don't feel like I've earned her trust or concern. I don't feel like I deserve it. A little smile brightens her face, relaxing the look of concern.

"Because, we're *friends*, silly." She replies firmly. I feel my eyes prickle and I throw my arms around the smaller girl, hugging her tightly to me. She doesn't hesitate to return the embrace.

"I don't know how I could have made it this far without you - all of you guys." I tell her honestly, my voice breaking on the last few words. I want to express how worried I am that all their planning may be for shit. We could all die when we try whatever it is they're going to try. I just don't want to loose them - any of them. She squeezes me tighter.

"It's going to be okay, Scarlett. You'll see." She tries to reassure me, but I catch the slightest hint of fear in her usual scent. Enough that I know she's worried, too.

"Caly," Blue's voice sends a fresh wave of guilt and heartache through me. I release the girl and turn to see Blue standing a few feet away, eyes trained on his sister. "You should be resting." Caly sighs, rolling her eyes, before reaching between us and hugging me again. And again, there's not a spot of fear in her scent. Only the warmness of her acceptance. My eyes sting a little when she gives me an extra little squeeze before releasing me.

"We've got this, okay? Don't worry." She says as she pulls away and gives me one of her best smiles. The kind that radiates confidence and happiness. I give her a watery smile back and nod. She passes her brother without a word and disappears into the woods, back to wards the little camp we set up before the sun went down.

"You're not trying to run again are you?" Blue asks after a second. I sigh and turn away from him before answering, finding it too painful to look at him right now when his emotions are so fierce. It's almost as if, when I look at him, the bridge tris to grow into something even more solid.

"No." I admit, feeling him there - in the back of mind - searching through my emotions and thoughts. *It fucking hurts.* I close my eyes, absorbing the sounds of the sea, breathing in the fresh, salty air. "I just needed fresh air."

"You shouldn't leave the camp without an escort." His voice is closer, quieter, when he speaks. I open my eyes, seeing him beside me in the corner of my eye, looking out at the dark ocean now, too. His close proximity eases some of the pain inside, and aggravating the other part of it. His smell is now everywhere. Pine and parchment and glorious blood- *Ugh*.

It would almost be worth it to give into the blood-lust just so I won't feel like shit anymore. After that first taste, the craving has only gone from simply wanting the taste on my tongue to wanting to bathe in it. My cells throb with thirst, his scent carrying on the salty sea breeze, mixing with fresh snow and the promise he made. It's a heady thing, the new connection and my freshly awakened senses. Everything feels so different - but also so very much the same.

"I'm sorry," I mutter after another second. The weight of yesterday still hanging heavily between us. So much has changed in such a short period of time that it's almost unreal.

"For?" Blue prompts quietly.

"Everything." I gesture around us. "All of this shit. I shouldn't have stayed in Kiwina. I knew it the second we had that first vision. I should have left." I begin with the beginning, recalling flashes of time we've experienced together.

"That's bullshit."

"Excuse me?" I round on him, eyes wide.

"It was just a matter of time," He says calmly, watching the ocean rather than looking at me. "Eventually, they'd have caught you. Probably sooner, and then you'd be dead." He's probably right. I know he's got a point but still- "You staying in Kiwina extended your life." I scoff at his words, the cold clipped tone he's using, the closeness I feel between us betraying his tone - but he continues. "And that aside, you'd've never known your father. Hale probably would have left the Coven - which would have made them Ritska go insane - again. We'd have all been slaughtered. Then, your family probably would have come down to exterminate them," His line of thinking is a little frazzled to me - like he's just searching for reasons. "It'd be a hell of a lot worse if you had left."

"You're reaching." I roll my eyes, fighting to keep the smile from my face. Even now, he's trying to make me feel better. And it's working.

"Maybe." Blue shrugs, a tiny smirk curling at the corners of his mouth. "I guess we'll never know." His face sobers a bit. "Shit happens, Red. We can't spend all our lives looking at the *what ifs* or *I shoulda-I coulda*. The point is to face the choices we make and deal with the present. It's the only way we can make a future worth living."

"Hm." I hum, agreeing with him, but now back to worrying about the impending battle I know is coming. I can almost taste it in the wind, the growing tension of everything, as if the world knows things are shifting.

"Besides, it wouldn't have helped if you did run. Even then, I'd have chased you and brought you back." Blue tells me confidently, turning - finally - to face me. A little smile on his mouth now as he gazes into my eyes. "You don't just walk away from your mate."

"We barely knew each other-" I scoff, rolling my eyes as heat begins to rise in my face.

"Doesn't matter. I'd have tracked you down and hauled your ass back to the territory." He takes a step closer to me, the silvery grey in his eyes flaring a little. "I wouldn't've let you get away."

"Now I'm calling bullshit." I laugh.

"I guess we'll never know." He simply shrugs. A tensions begins to grow as we look at each other, the foot between us of empty air feels like an ocean. His smell- God, his smell is making my mouth water and jaw ache- I take a deep breath to steady myself.

"Do you think...do you think we'll ever get past this?" I ask softly, his eyes diming a little as he catches wind of my thoughts.

"I'll tell you what," He takes hold of my shoulders, the warmth of his body radiating through out clothes and soaking into me almost as thoroughly as if we were wrapped in each other's arms- A flash of memory, the vision when we were in bed together, flares to my mind. "Do your best today. Don't be stupid. Survive. And after it's all over," He gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze. "When we get back to Kiwina," He begins slowly, like he's trying not to scare me. "You and me, let's go on a date." I blink in surprise. A date with Blue. So mundane I instantly want it. The normalcy of a date as a couple threatens to give me a head rush.

"I-I don't-" I blink again, processing his demands. *Don't be stupid*... That's a tall order - especially if his 'don't be stupid' means that I won't try to protect all these people I've grown to actually care about if the opportunity arises. "I don't know if I can promise-"

"You'd better do your best then, Red." Blue grits out, removing his hands. He knows the direction of my thoughts, the truth behind them, but also my conflicting wish. He knows it all.

"Blue-" I begin, feeling like we should talk about all of this. I hate being in the dark, even now, I can't see past the promise that the Azures are going to change the vision.

"You should go rest." Blue sighs, fighting against the feelers I throw out to try and sense whatever he's not telling me - cause I can feel he's keeping something from me. Something big. "I'll see you when this is all over." It's a door in my face, a firm line I can't cross. I huff out the remaining breath in my lungs and try to remind myself that I trust him. I trust the Azures.

"Good night, Blue," I tell him, heading back to the camp. I make it deep into the tree line that separates the glade from the shore before I hear his reply.

"Good night, Red."