FIFTY-SEVEN - DISTRACTED

***BLUE'S POV***

"-so the attack on Cole's group last night was stronger than usual. He's still laid up in the infirmary though both Doc and Ritska say he'll be up and moving by tonight-" Yuri reports, droning on about the attack that happened last night while Cole, Jayden, and Eire were patrolling on the northern edge of the territory. "We're lucky Cole's one hell of a fighter," Yuri adds, more to himself than me as we stop by the main building. "No deaths this time." It's good news, but it doesn't feel like much of a victory.

"We should think about having the patrols add a vamp to the groups incase something like this happens again." I mutter back, thinking about how fast our allies can be. "Maybe we can avoid anyone go to the infirmary next time." I muse aloud, hoping I'm right.

"You have a point. I can ask Hale if he can spare some of his people-" Yuri agrees and keeps talking about things I already know about. But I don't stop him, after all, this will be his job in few months as Beta. Assuming we all make it to then. What with everything that's gone down over the last two months, I'm starting to have my doubts.

The gorgeous red-head who's been haunting both my dreams and daily thoughts comes into sight then. My focus is instantly diverted from the conversation to her ethereal form, dancing across the courtyard a few yards away. I note the hollowness in her cheeks, the too-pale tint to her skin, the shadows under her eyes. A spike of worry further diverts my attention from the mutterings of my cousin.

*She's too skinny, isn't she supposed to be upping her consumption instead of burning it all? Is she having more trouble sleeping? Hale's been keeping me updated with her condition, but he never said she looked like she'd collapse any second*.

*Though, if anyone could rock the emaciated look, she could.* The thought annoys me almost as much as the sight of the vampire hovering beside her like a second skin. Jealousy comes, unbidden, in waves when I see how easy they're talking, how open my mate seems to be with her companion. A companion she's *living* with.

I itch to run over there and beat the man to a bloody pulp as he puts an arm around her shoulders. My hands clench and unclench at my sides as the pacing beast in me snaps it's teeth at the man in it's typical territorial fashion-

"Z, man, are you even paying attention?" Yuri nudges me, breaking through the messy storm brewing within me.

"'Course I am." I lie smoothly, letting my gaze flick back to my cousin for a second before glancing back to search for the deepest-blue eyes I've ever seen- watching me.

"Hey, if you wanna go say hi-"

"Don't be ridiculous." I snap at Yuri, forcing my eyes from the one I want to be looking at to glare at him.

"You know you really shouldn't ignore her if you want-"

"I didn't ask for your input-" I growl at him, knowing full-well he's right, but I just *can't* right now.

"Hi-ya," The gratingly smooth voice of Mikyle reaches my ears before I smell his sickening scent of over-ripe-strawberry and iron.

Then I breathe in the bouquet of fresh-baked apple pie and the nausea I was starting to feel turns to hunger. Without looking, I know who's standing behind me, and it's not because of Yuri's shit-eating grin. Guilt, concern, jealousy, and an overwhelming warmth war inside me as I slowly turn to face the one I've been avoiding.

Our eyes immediately lock and I get lost in the ocean that are her eyes. Too blue to be real, so full of emotion and life that it's hard to even blink. I just want to stare into them for the rest of my life, to fall head first into those depths and keep falling for eternity. The only thing that stops me from doing just that is the sadness in them. Sadness and pain. So much pain. So much that my own heart begins to ache.

This close, only two feet separating us, it's almost unbearable to maintain the icy shell I've been projecting between us. It's almost physically painful. But if this is how it needs to be to keep her safe, I'll endure anything.

"Blue," She murmurs, her eyes still as sorrowful as before, but now with the tiniest flickers of hope. And with that one word, everything is right with the world. It's a reminder, that nickname she gave me, that I'm hers. Only hers.

"Red," I breathe back, feeling some relief from the aching in my chest. One word from her, just one, and I feel more relaxed than I have all week. I wonder why the hell I've been avoiding her lately, then remind myself of the reason over and over until my resolve strengthen once more. She offers me the smallest of smiles, nodding her head at me, before turning to Yuri.

"Hey, Yuri." She gives my idiot cousin a warmer look with a smile that could illuminate a cave at night. Again, that monster of jealousy rises in my chest and threatens to rip through me.

"Hey, gorgeous," Yuri bounds up to her like a lost puppy and pulls her into his arms. I have the urge to break every bone in his body when she lets out a whoosh of breath, the soft groaning of her delicate bones reaching my ears like cannon fire.

I move without thinking, roughly detaching the two and glaring at my brute of a cousin, my body shielding Red's. Yuri's just smiling that shit-eating smile and smugly rubbing the bruises on his wrists where I marked him. Only him.

"That wasn't nice, Blue-" Red mumbles behind me, but I can hear the hint of relief in her tone.

"Yeah, *that wasn't nice*, Z." Yuri repeats and I snap my teeth at the idiot for patronizing me. "So where are you two headed so early?" Yuri does the smart thing and turns the attention back to my mate and her companion.

"We're going to the Coven." Red says carefully, and when I turn to stare at her, she's avoiding my eyes, looking right at my cousin. "I'm being inducted." Yuri's congratulations and cheerful conversation only just registers as I stare at my mate. Completely and utterly shocked by her decision. A decision I'm sure wasn't easy for her. One I wish we had talk about before she made.

I can't help but wonder about her last few days, the countless hours we've spent apart since I dragged her back to Kiwina. Time wasted.

"Congratulations," I finally choke out, wishing with every fiber of my being that Marissa wasn't the only one who'd been inducted a few days ago.

"Thanks, Blue." She finally looks at me, her worried eyes a little more relaxed, but shoulders still tense. More than anything, I just want to hold her, tell her she doesn't have to join the Coven. Tell her she can stay with us- But I don't. Can't.

*One more month*. I remind myself, closing my eyes as she turns away and follows the vampire. *Twenty eight days*. I break the specifics down to distract myself as I once again open my eyes and watch her disappear. *Forty thousand, three hundred and twenty minutes*. But instead of the numbers relaxing me like they normally would, I feel anxiety twist at my gut.