Chapter 67

Cars are honking, smoke is everywhere, noise of people talking on the road, there is still the laughter of children playing in the middle of a busy environment.
Just a few of the scenes I"m currently watching.
I kinda miss seeing this kind of scenario. Now I realize that I have locked myself in the four corners of the room, just in front of the computer.
It's been days already since I got home. And for the first time, it was also thought to go out to finally focus on the usual life then that was almost forgotten caused by the tire facing.
This is the reality ...
This is my world, where I truly belong.
One by one, I glanced at the shops that Kiesha and I used to go to, on the way home or when running away from class. The old ice cream shop, my favorite botique, and even Aling Lucille's karenderya are still standing. I still owe him. I think there was a lot of interest then now.
I also never lost sight of the internet cafe where I always go whenever there are research assignments when there is no wifi at home, or whenever I get cut off because there is no payment.
This place contributes a lot to youth. This is where I grew up, this is where my eyes became aware of the problems that had to be overcome.
"Hi Gee!"
Shocked, I turned to my older brother Eric. The owner of the computer shop and I also often borrowed whenever there was a lack of payment for open time access and photocopies requested.
"Kuya!" I approached him kindly. This girl has a load. I think it's his son.
"How are you? It's also been a long time since we last met."
"It's okay. This, take a break from work first."
"Are you a licensed teacher yet?"
"Yes."
"Where are you teaching now?"
"I'm taking a break from teaching too. I'm simply pouring my time into myself first."
"Love yourself like that?" its a joke.
"Sure?" laughter was the next thing I answered.
We didn't talk for long either. Like me, he also has a lot to do, so even against his will, he has to part ways.
I passed Lucille's laundry for a while to pay off a debt. I spent more time here. As usual he still had the chatter. His questions and stories are almost inexhaustible. It was as if everything had been gathered to be thrown at me when we met again.
"You look even better," he had said earlier. It's just a little bit and I'm going to throw up with the shiver.
"Oh, little thing," I joked.
"You're not wearing glasses anymore. Are your eyes okay?"
"No. I have a contact lens, it's okay even without a mirror."
We talked for about an hour. I just laughed a laugh in front of him. Contrary to what it really feels like.
I am smiling outside, but is actually hurting inside. Yes, I will admit it is beginning to repent.
There is no time for me to ask myself if the loosest decision is really the right one. I felt so different now. I looked like the living dead.
I am physically alive, but mentally dead.
None of my family objected or agreed with our separation. They kept their mouth shut. None of time dared to ask me questions.
I don"t know if they respect my decision, or simply don"t want to get involved in Zi and me"s problem.
"By the way, do you already have a boyfriend?" manang Lucille's last question, even before I finally left the post.
I sighed heavily.
"Um ..."
What will I respond to?
"We just-"
"Don't do that. Go ahead and go," he said after noticing my hesitation to answer.
"All right, thanks for the time and good day again," a sweet smile I left on her.
A smile to hide the huge scar inside my heart.
I thought of going to the ice cream shop. I am kinda craving for something cold. Something that reminds me of-
I eventually stopped midway. That is a wrong idea. I have to think for myself now, not others.
"Geline Neilani Gavino," I heard a man call from the car parked on the side of the road.
I turned to face him. Until now is he still following me?
"You're still alive," I said bitterly.
He snorted, then got out of the car. He is wearing all-black tuxedo and trousers. Hair in undercut, right hand on his pants pocket and the other one caressing his lips, he kinda look attractive.
"After rescuing you, that's all you're going to say?"
"What do you expect me to say? I lost a friend because of your war. Shall I act cool?"
"No. That's not what I meant. But-" he paused for a moment. Can you be a little kind on me? "He let out a sarcastic smirk.
"In your dreams," I rolled my eyes, "Why are you here? You have nothing to contribute to my life."
My sunny day automatically turned gloomy just by his presece.
"I want to help you. You know, a broken woman like you shouldn't walk on the street alone."
"Are you hitting on me?" I raised an brow.
"You can say so," he shrugged.
"Are you addicted? Do you think a girl like me would settle to someone as bad as you?"
"Just for you to know. Bad boys are the most sincere when it comes to love," he licked on his lips.
"Tsk!" I annoyed him and turned my back on him, "Don't fool me, I know you're just doing this to win my heart. You can never drag me to your sh*t," I started walking away.
Talking to him is a waist of time.
"See you around!"
What ?! Does he really intend to follow me all day?
"What is it Spencer, stop it-" in a flash, he made me look like a fool speaking alone in the middle of the crowded pathway. He already managed to go back to his car before I could realize.
It laughs as it looks at me indignantly with shame. Contrary to me there is nothing else he wants to do now but blow him up.
I turned my back at him for the second time. Things that are also immediately regretted.
It's better to just stare at the demon, than two pairs of eyes that are good at skinning-you.
"Hey, hi Gee!" Martha greeted warmly. It was holding Zi's arm.
They seem to be from the gala. Where? What did they do and will do?
Less than a week after we separated, he immediately found a replacement.
Did I think I was the only one he would love in this world?
That's how I want to avoid his gaze. Nothing is said, but its eyes are enough to indicate disgust at the witnessed scene.
He saw me talking with Spencer, our rival. Maybe he thinks we're conspiring now.
But I eventually decided to shrug the idea off. I"m not doing anything wrong. I don't have to feel guilty over the thing I didn't do.
"Hello," I replied in a bitter voice.
"Where are you?"
"Just somewhere, stroller."
"Really? Come with us Zi. It's going to be-"
"Not anymore. It's just you," I interrupted Martha.
Feeling close ah? When did we get along? There seemed to be no friendship between us. I still don't like her.
"Are you sure?" the openness of his face only brightened even more after hearing my answer.
She looks happier now compared to the last time we met. Is it because he finally got the attention of the person he had long hoped for?
Well, good for her.
"Ummm."
"What a waste."
Is it really a pity? You look like you've caught your luck with a wide smile.
Tsk!
"Let's go," Zi coldly said after a long deadly stare.
"You don't even greet Gee?"
He just pursed his lips.
He obviously didn"t want to talk to me.
This time, I no longer knew what else to say or do.
I want to be angry with him. I want to scream, get lost.
Why did he seem to have forgotten his speed? Why is there something new right away? And why of all the substitutes, is it more like Martha?
I knew I had no right to question his decision. I was the reason we separated. I would rather run away, than fight with him. I chose myself over us. Who am I to be angry with him, if I hurt him?
But I can't help but to feel pain.
"I know a great place to go," Spencer suddenly entered the conversation. Simultaneously the sudden hold in my hand.
In shock I turned to him, to Zion. Wrath isn't enough to define his flaring glare. He looks like he's going to kill whoever at any moment. It was as if he was in the middle of a dangerous storm with his dark eyes, his jaw tightened, and the system was currently in disarray.
I know him too well. I know when he is happy and when he is sad.
He's angry right now. His suspicions of me only intensified. It thinks I'm a traitor.
"You're the one I wanted, aren't you?" Martha asked Spencer rudely.
"Not anymore," he smiled faintly, "I am innocent."
INNOCENT
Big word!
If I just didn"t know the whole story I would have believed him.
"Really?"
"Let's go," Zion and Spencer whispered almost simultaneously.
The two stared at each other for a moment. It's not enough to fight if you look at each other.
To ease the tension, I did not want to be forced to pull my criminal companion away. They are not in the right place to beat up. I don't want trouble. While it's still early, it's better to avoid further pain and blame.
"Let go of me," I violently withdrew from Spencer the hand he was holding tightly. Obviously with no intention of letting go, "They are gone now," I swallowed hard.
There is a rock in my throat. I had difficulty breathing and suddenly became weak. When I turned my back, I couldn't trace any sign of them anymore.
Where could they go?
"You'll just cry over that."
"Don't scold me! We're not close."
"Just cares."
"You"re impressive," I looked up. It was as if in this way the tears that were about to drip would recede.
I don"t want to cry. I went out to have fun, not to dramatize.
"That's going to cry," he teased suddenly.
"I'm going to hit you there," I said, pushing him away, "How did you find out about us?"
"There is nothing I don't know about you."
"Psycho," I winced.
"You're harsh."
"Thank you," somehow my burden was eased. My insults and seemingly hurtful reaction helped a little.
I still badly want to cry. But I don't want to shed tears anymore because of his annoying face.
"Come with me."
"Where?"
"In the world of pleasure."
"Go there, alone!"
As much as I wanted to stay away, he bravely followed as if I was losing my tail. Not once did he leave me alone. No matter how many times he hides, he always just finds.
"Don't you really intend to tempt me?"
"Nothing," was its direct reply.
"Why?"
"Come with me, and you'll know."
"Maybe you'll even salvage me," I doubtfully stared at him.
"If I had such a plan, I wish we had been alone earlier. I have no intention of being bad to you. I'm just confused, not crazy."
"If not, why did you let sister Kia get hurt?" humalukipkip ako.
"There are many things you don't know about me."
"Are you saying you're innocent?"
"I wasn't involved in doing that to Kia. But I'm not innocent either."
I bit my lip so hard. Does this mean he admits to physical presence at the very scene of the crime. He didn't take part in hurting his sister, nor did he do anything to stop it.
"Why did you let that kind of nightmare happen to him?"
"We are under the influence of alcohol and-" he let me know what to say next.
I know they used it. They would not have the courage to do evil if they were in the right frame of mind.
"None of us thought he was going to commit suicide."
"Don't say you didn't mean it. We all know you're the reason he chose to just disappear. You molested-"
"B *** sh*t," he cut me off, "Do we really look thirsty for the girl? Nothing like that happened. Jake tried to touch her, yes ... But he managed to control himself. He wanted something from her Kia, but not once did he want to be offended or rude to it. "
"In that case, what is really true?" I bravely matched his emphatic gaze.
"Why don't you ask your brother? Of all of us, he knows everything better."
I already heard my brother's side. My sister and I liked each other, they would have had a child in case the child was lost. That's all I know!
"Gideon was the last Kianna talked to before she committed suicide. He was the one who knew the last thing she said."
I suddenly remembered Kiesha's story about the person who possibly entered my sister's room. Caused by the open window and footprints here. Something that made him think that the cause of his death was not suicide, but murder.
Is the older brother really hiding something? Is he the-
I immediately put the idea aside. My brother is not a bad person. It's crazy to think he's a criminal.
"How about you? You're the boyfriend, aren't you?"
"We are purely friends. You got the news wrong."
"How about Ariela?"
"We are not in a relationship either. But he admitted that he liked me and asked me to be the father of his future child."
"How can she-"
"She asked Kia to be a surrogate mother."
I took a deep breath and did not cover my mouth.
"But things didn't work the way she planned. The child disappeared, so she was angry with her sister." that's more of a confirmation, than a question.
But that boy is my brother's son! We have the right to mourn.
"That's all I can say. I hope you'd stop investigating now. I don't want to hurt you."
"Why are you really doing this?"
He stared at me for a moment. Messed up neat hair, then walked closer.
"Let's just say I'm recovering from my bad deeds."
"You can't just make up for it by simply confessing," I muttered, "Leave me alone. I might consider forgiving you."
"I'll follow your wishes on one condition."
I was secretly hired. He is also really good at negotiation.
"What?"
"Drink with me."
Drink ... What ?!
"I love him ... I love him so much," I just swallowed the remaining wine in the bottle I was holding.
My world is starting to spin. Still, there is an appetite to drink more.
"I don't know if I did it right. I wanted to protect him, by protecting myself too."
"I'm annoyed with him. Why is he dating Martha? E, that was the main insult to our relationship back then."
"I want to go to him ..."
Just a few of the words I released. Opposite was Spencer who had been quiet before. He just lets me bring out all the words that bother the mind.
What he brought to me was different from what I thought. I thought we'll go straight to his favorite club. But instead, he brought me to his vacation house. A mile away from the city.
Quiet here, close to the creek and the presence of animals accustomed to living in the middle of the forest. We are the only ones here. In case he thinks of doing me wrong, there is no doubt that he will succeed.
Apart from myself, there is no one else who can help me here. But surprisingly, I didn"t even feel remorse for going with him. I think all my doubts are gone.
Here I can prove whether I can defend myself.
Can I really fight without Zi's help?
Will I be able to move on with life without his presence?
I just cried at the thought.
Now I really don"t know if the decision was even right. Was it right that I hit him for the two of us?
"I'm his strength, but I chose to stay away," I sighed, "I'm the one who should be by his side now ..."
Spencer grabbed a tissue from the adjoining dresser, then presented it to me.
I immediately reached for it. Even though he looked miserable in front of him, I didn't care anymore.
"I am not good at advices, so I can't help you with that love problem."
"I know you have something in mind right now. You're just hesitant to voice it."
He leaned back, sipping his own glass of alcohol.
"Would you like to hear?"
"Ummm ..." I nodded.
"You fool to think he did nothing but protect you. If that were true, you wouldn't have been shot during the riots in the hospital. You are romanticizing his actions over you too much. You were just defended and considered queen , akala mo na agad ikaw lang ang iniisip niya. Making you girls feel special and loved is a required task for us. We needed to give you assurance, cause you all are the worst over thinkers. Zion is just doing the good-boyfriend duty "That doesn't mean he's not thinking of himself anymore. That's why he's protecting you not only for your safety, but also for his own good."
I sucked. No more courage to answer. For what he said immediately penetrated the soul. I was only hurt more, and at the same time enlightened.
"Your issue isn't about him, protecting you. That's all you make yourself believe because you're having a hard time admitting the real reason. The real deal here was your swaying emotion. You love Zion more than anything in this world, but you couldn't ' t help but to think of someone else while with him, "he lifted a brow.
I suddenly grew cold at the words it added. Words are never thought to be heard by others. If I don"t wear lipstick in my mouth, it will notice my pallor.
"Their is another person who had been messing with your mind lately," he added. Making me more weak.
This time, I don"t know if it"s still right to stay here or it"s better to leave right now?
The effect of alcohol on my body automatically disappeared. It seems like drunkenness is just a joke now.
"What are you saying?"
"You felt guilty, thinking of that someone else while in a relationship with Zion. So you better just stay away first to meditate," he stood up. Move to a seat next to me.
I bent down and bit my lip all I could do was to keep the best kept secret for the last time.
He got me there. He's indeed not just a typical man.
"Tell me right now."
I no longer tried to dodge when he brought his face close to mine.
I needed to confirm something too. I need to do something to somehow answer the question that has been bothering my mind lately.
My system needs to be quiet.
"You wanted to come with me here."
I never thought I would want to be with him in the same place. I was compelled to come here to calm down the suffocating system.
"I didn't."
He moved his face closer. Then I just thought of stepping back. He is trying to do something against my will.
"I made your heart flutter."
To be continued...