Chapter 79

I rubbed my face and cried even more.
"Please, just tell me the truth," my other hand grabbed his shirt.
"We're different people," he replied without hesitation.
I could smell her natural fragrance. Even the heartbeat I heard too. It is beating loudly along with my heart's pace.
"Why is there a part of me that isn't convinced by what you said? Why do I prefer to think you're Zion?" I buried my face in his chest.
"Then do it. I don't mind ... As long as I can help you with your misery."
"I can't forget him anymore."
"Don't forget if you don't want to."
I didn't answer. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her back tightly. Is that right? Am I right to consider him Zion? And is it really okay with him?
I love the idea. I wanna feel him again. Even in the presence of others. I am longing so much for him. And if I had to use another person to feel him again, I would.
It took us a couple of minutes to let go on each other's arms. But even after that hug for a long time, I still lacked. I just want to embrace him all day. If only.
"Can I go out now?" I asked him from the window.
He is siting on the sand. Alone again overlooking the vast ocean.
I just woke up. My body and mind were tired at the scene earlier, so I fell into bed. I just woke up. Somehow it regains strength.
The sun is setting. The orange sky was gradually tinged with darkness. This for me is a good opportunity to come out. The wind is so fine. And the vibe is nostalgic.
I snatched the polaroid camera from the bag, then hurried out. I need to take a perfect shot on the sky's breathtaking panorama.
"Did I tell you to come out?"
"Shhhh ..." I hushed.
I was already on the sand, it was too late to retreat.
I stopped next to him, then raised the camera to my left eye and took some beautiful photos.
"When did you become interested in photography?" he asked calmly.
"Since I've been abroad. I want to take good pictures. For Zion's return, I can show him all that."
"That's me."
I quickly turned to him.
"I am playing his part, right?" he corrects.
I nodded. I thought he was saying he was Zion. I forgot that he had offered to be Zi for a few days.
"Are you really serious there?" I sat down next to him.
"Do you think I am not?"
We held eyes. She hugged her own legs. Her hair is damp. I feel like I just finished swimming in the sea. He is now wearing maroon sweat shirt that hugs perfectly on his body. Compared to Zi, he is a bit tan and more mature looking.
"Can you come with me?"
He slowly nodded, as his lustrous eyes trailed down to my lips.
"Everywhere," maliciously lifted the edge of his lips.
My brows furrowed. He seems to be thinking differently.
"Can you follow my stories?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Ummm ..."
"What do you want to know?"
"What do you want to tell?"
Silence next soared between us. Just stare at what we have only done to each other. I don't know, but I do feel comfortable around him. As if things between us is natural. No awkwardness, because we"ve known each other long enough.
In a split of seconds, I got lost on his eyes. In a split of seconds, I saw Zion.
"I want to tell you what happened to me after you died," I said bluntly.
I was the first to look up. Maybe by staring at it too much, I can't help but drown in the flooding emotions in his eyes.
"I am still alive. Just tell me that in my coffin. But it's still a long time," he leaned back.
"I'm serious," I gently slapped him on the shoulder, "Because isn't the real Zion dead?"
"How can you tell?" he craned his neck. He stared at me sideways.
"What?" only then did I feel a little ashamed of what he was doing. He is staring too deep at me, "Don't mess with my brain."
"Zion is not yet dead in your heart and mind."
"But physically ... He's dead."
He just shrugged. They have a resemblance to Zion in his attitude like this. They both prefer to remain silent, when they do not want to prolong the conversation.
"I'm going to start," I chuckled, "I got so devastated after you disappeared. Everyday I am longing for you. Not a day goes by that I don't look for you, until I love to go to sea. Because I'm proud to see you. That might be true. miracle. I never want to think that you are dead. I find it hard to accept that, even though I saw what was done to you. It created a deep scar and huge trauma on me. Until I lost myself, I lost my will to fight, and I lost everything that I have. In Hawaii- "I bowed. It is very difficult to go back in time.
It felt so fresh in my memory. As if it happened just yesterday. I still remember where I went, what I did, how I wanted to get rid of the pain, and who was lost.
"If you can't tell a story, you can stop," he licked on his lips.
I shook quickly and smiled sparingly.
"I've already started. I'll just finish ..." I let out a deep sigh, "In Hawaii ... I left a mark in there, I left a promise, I left my heart. I said, when I go home Here, I'll be fine. And by the time I get back there, I'll be whole again. "
But it didn't happen. I'm not well right now. I can't be okay even though every moment I see him. In every moment I miss his presence. I will never be complete again, I guess ...
I can sense his condoling gaze on my peripheral vision.
"Don't feel sorry for me okay? I don't need that."
"I don't feel sorry for you ... It's your courage."
"How brave? Eh, I've given up."
"Is it still now? When are you about to get past the blow," he replied meaningfully.
"Huh?" my brows furrowed.
I turned to him. He just raised an eyebrow and shrugged. No attempt was made to add to what was said.
"What do you want to know about Zion?" I change the subject.
"How much do you love him?" he asked directly.
"I love him with all my heart. It is beyond measures," I let out a faint smile.
"What kind of person is he? I want to know what he has to make you look like this."
"He was just like you when it comes to attitude. Stuck sometimes and rarely speaks. But that was kind and very romantic, in a very peculiar way. If he gets dry, you're not like everyone else. No flowers, no chocolates, just pure love. Sincerity is what he always uses and that's what made him different. He's my protector. He's the one I lean on. Because of him I've become brave and strong, "I heaved a deep sigh.
I am so thankful I found Zion. I am so thankful he decided to stay in my life even for a while.
"Come on, I'll show you something," he stood up and held out his hand to me.
"What?"
"Just ..."
"Where are you really taking me? It's late, we don't have a flashlight ..."
"We have the moonlight," his grip on my wrist tightened.
Earlier he was dragging me into the forest.
"What? I'm already hurting," I pretended. He just wanted to let go.
I don't know what he is thinking. And I don't know him that well yet to be trusted. What if he is thinking of something else? What if earlier he was just taking my heart? Now that he has succeeded, he will make the plan imaginable.
"Don't be overacting, I'm just holding you gently," he replied reluctantly.
I can't get through to him.
"I have a bruise on my wrist."
"When else? Who said?" I can sense sarcasm on his voice.
"I ..."
"I didn't see any bruises on you."
"Why, you're a scanner?"
"Yes," he replied directly. It stopped walking and quickly turned its body in front of me, "I see a lot of you."
I stepped back. I was suddenly frightened by what he said.
"Don't be like that," I boldly harvested.
"Just stop talking, won't you?"
"Yeah ... It's going to be quiet," I frankly stared at it.
He walked again, dragging me. That looks like a little child needs to be taken care of.
It took us a couple of minutes before he finally stopped right in front of a huge tree. It glows in the middle of the night. Not just because of the fireflies surrounding. But because of the illumination of the moon directed at it. It is standing alone in the middle, with its branches spreading wide apart on each sides.
"That tree has stood for a thousand and more years. It has been through many storms, tested by blows and challenges. But over time, it has remained strong," he loosened his grip on my wrist. Slowly, while looking intently at the tree, he trailed his hand down to mine. He clasped our hands together, "I want to tell you that even a tree suffers. Everything is tested by trouble. It depends on how you tolerate and fight your own battle. You're not weak, you just don't know how to fight. "
He looked up at the sky. While doing this I just stared at him. He looks more of Zion from this view. His jaw were very defined, and the eyes that are cloacked with long lashes is sparkling like a star so bright at night. I was tempted to touch his face and blindly rule every detail of it.
He's handsome ... He's so handsome.
From the sky, his gaze dropped to me. It actually saw my sticky stare. I immediately looked away. And even if I know I am doomed, I still acted innocent.
I sneezed. Then pabalyang snatched his hand away.
"This is all you're going to show," I folded my arms and pretended not to be pleased.
"There's more ..."
"What?"
He took something out of his pocket. When he lifted it, I was so shocked.
"How did you get that?" I tried to get it from his hand. But he swifly moved away, "That's mine!"
"This is mine now," he raised a brow, "This is originally mine," he murmured.
I am not sure if I am hearing the exact words. It was almost a whisper when he said the last words. But that's what I heard. That's what my mind wants to believe ...
"What did you say?"
"I said ... this is mine now," he licked on his lips.
"That's for Zion. I gave that ring to him. Why do you care about things? How dare you?"
"I am Zion now. From now on, I will wear it. And for your information, I didn't take it. I just found it on the floor earlier. I know it was yours, based from the words written inside. You are such a romanticist Neilani ... tsk! "
"You still took that," I scolded him, "And if you're just going to insult me, you'd better just give me back my ring," I held out my hand.
"This is mine ..." he repeated in a cold voice.
"You're not just a thief, you're even claiming someone else's stuff. You're going to stop," a second time, I tried to take the ring from him. But he quickly raised his arm.
Even if I jump, I"m unlikely to get it back from him because he"s so tall compared to me.
"What? Stop playing with me, alright?" I am getting pissed.
"I am not playing ... This is mine," his expression shifted.
He has become very serious now. And I don't want to lose. I matched the intensity of his gaze. I will never be swayed by his dark grimace and hardened jaw. She"s just Louie, I"m Geline Neilani. I was taught to fight what I believe is right. And it"s only right that I fight for the thing I know I have.
"It'll only be up to you if I give in," I tried to pull his arm down.
He is looking intently at me, so unbothered. He just doesn"t care what I"m doing pulling.
He let out a deep sigh. Spontaneously lowered the arm and presented me with the ring.
"It's good to talk to you ... Thank you," I was about to get the ring, but he again moved his hand away. And in a sudden movement, his other arm wrapped on my waist. Pulling me close.
With the tightness of his grip, I could barely move.
"U-hey ... what the w-what?" slightly pushed my hand that was focused on his chest.
He stood firm on his ground. He didn't seem to hear anything at all. Instead of releasing me, he just tightened his grip on me as he slowly brought his lips closer to mine.
I do not know what to do. I want to push him. My mind wants to condemn him, but my body is doing the opposite. I don"t want to go away. And when I could feel his breath, that's how I slowly closed my eyes. I am ready to welcome him and it sucks! It shouldn't be like this ... What ?!
"Is this how longing Geline is until now?" he said almost in a whisper. When he let me go, "You don't let another guy kiss you when you're still grieving ... When you're still thinking of him every second. Maybe you just thought of everything," he said then immediately turned away.
"What do you know about my feelings?" I felt offended.
What does he know about how I feel for Zion? He doesn't know how badly I suffered.
"Do you know me?"
"Known or not, whoever you talk to will tell you the same thing. You are longing at the idea of ​​him being gone. But your heart ... It is no longer grieving."
"That's not true," I subconsciously whacked his back, "Don't act as if you know me and my pain! I know ... My heart knows that I long for Zion's presence and will seek it for the rest of my life," I pointed to my chest, "Just because I let myself bewildered by your immature act doesn't mean I like it. I know that's wrong. And Zi won't-won't like it."
He nodded. He faced me again. Then a sarcastic smile.
"Let's just say I'm wrong ... And you're right-"
"I'm right!"
He licked on the side of his lips and looked up.
"Yes ... Yes," he gave up, "But how long will you be like that? How long will you cling to the memory of those two?"
"Forever," I snorted.
I actually don't know until when. Manong Ri also asked me that. And to this day, I still don"t have an exact answer. I do not yet know when this suffering will end.
"You love him that much?" he smirked, "What if you fell in love with me. Who would you love more than the two of us?"
"Can you be realistic please? I'm unlikely to like you."
"How do you know?" he craned his neck. Now a defiant stare is being thrown at me.
"If I ever like it again, I'll make sure it doesn't look like Zi."
"Really?" for the first time, I could see his laughter.
I admit I was very bored with what he said. My system can't accept it. But I also couldn"t help but ignore the light on his face. And I can't help, but to appreciate his grace ... A little.
Nothing in myself made me smile. Things quickly hidden by looking elsewhere.
This is frustrating me even more! I shouldn't be swayed by a simple laugh.
"What's funny?" I sniffed.
He shrugged. Then again turned his back at me. It was just a laugh of laughter as it walked away from me.
"Hey!" I run towards him, "You're making fun of my answer to you Louie."
"It is ..." he stopped and motioned for me to walk first.
"What's so funny about that?" I shoved him past, "I'm just saying I'm not going to like a man like Zion."
"Even now, you can't take your eyes off me."
"'Cause you look like Zi!"
"Exactly ... Yet, you are saying you won't fall inlove with me?"
"Just get it," I irritatedly turned to him, "But it's still a different person."
"Hmmm?" his lips rose up in a malicious smile, "O-kay ..."
He never spoke again after the last thing said. Until we reached the hut it was just quiet.
He prepared dinner for us. I chose to lock myself in the room, rather than stare at him. His belief that I will like him one day will only grow stronger. He was too much of an illusion. I never even thought of that thing.
I awkwardly sat on the bed and looked up at the ceiling.
Didn't I really think? Or do I deny it again?
I bit my lip. Knowing me, I don't easily admit things until proven. Then I will believe if something happens. Right now, I just want to cherish the things between us. I'll spend a few days talking to you. Starting tomorrow, he will gonna be my Zion Leander Pilvera. And I also decided to lend him the ring first. To make our act more realistic, he needs to wear the ring. Through this, I can feel Zi's presence in her person more.
I layed on the bed and stretched my arms sideways. I kept my eyes on the ceiling. With my mind, raking on the thoughts that were flooding inside.
Soon, I felt the heaviness of the lids. At the same time my eye slowly dropped. And before I know, I am already closing my eyes. I let drowsiness take over the whole system ... Until I finally fell asleep.
"Which band?"
"I'll check later."
"I won't show up first."
"I don't care what they think."
"Huh? What's the matter with Lana?"
Lana? Who's Lana?
Drowsily I got up and left the bed. I stepped close to the door. To hear more of what Louie was saying.
"Just guide me. He doesn't have to look for me-"
"Yes, I am still with Geline."
"Four days ... I'm just accompanying him here. Maybe tomorrow he'll come home too."
"So what? As if you don't know anything."
I peeked at him carefully. It stands opposite the sink. Turned away and relaxed. He is leaning on the table, topless and sweating. He just seems to be good at exercising.
"Just fix your work there. It's almost over."
"Shut up," he chuckled, "Bye ..." after saying that he quickly turned off the call.
Before I could even notice, I was able to return to the post. If he hadn't just made noise, I would still be asleep today. I suddenly got curious about Lana whoever she was. Is it looking for him? Why?
In the four days we were together, not once did he tell me he had a girlfriend. And I also don"t see it as a sign of someone with a loved one elsewhere. Instead, he even laughs at the promise that Zion will be for me. What I remember Zi"s habit then, I see in Louie now.
And it had me thinking that he really was my Zion ...
"You're awake."
Shocked I turned to him. Due to deep thought, I forgot to pay attention to its presence.
He approached me. He kissed the top of my head, like he usually do in the morning. Then the towel was snatched over the dresser.
I never once mentioned to him the things Zi used to do to me before. So surprisingly he was able to capture its every move. As well as her habit of preparing breakfast for me every morning.
It's just a little bit and I'll think they're really just one person. You just have to gather a little more basis and strong evidence. And then, I will gonna provoke him again. Until he spills the truth.
"Who is Lana?" the first question that came out of my mouth.
Biting his lips, he looked straight into my eyes.
"Just a colleague."
"Do you want anything?"
He pursed his lips. Obviously no intention to answer.
"Don't answer. I don't care either," I stood up.
It"s up to him what he does with his life. We are not in a relationship to begin with.
"Is there food?" I turned around and was about to leave. Case he suddenly tied his arm around my waist and held me.
He positioned behind me.
"I don't like her," he said, almost a whisper.
"So?"
"I've wanted something else, ever since."
"Good for her ..." I swallowed hard, "Why don't you flirt with her?"
"It's over," I felt his warm breath on my neck. It is tickling the hell out of me.
"And?"
"We are now married."
What the-
I tried to get away from him, but he wouldn"t let me go.
"You're married, stay away!"
"Not in papers," he added, "Our wedding was unofficial. Three days before my proposal to him, something happened. Making us partways."
"What do you mean?" my brows slightly furrowed.
"That's all I can say for now Geline ... I hope you'll understand," he planted gentle kisses on my neck, "Go home tomorrow. And don't come back," he finally whispered before I finally let go. Then he went out first.
I was left dumbfounded. His story ... It is somewhat familiar to mine.
Does that mean-
Oh!
To be continued....