Chapter 109: Angela
"I've learned nothing, Mistress." I spoke quietly while Lydia's soft hand ran through my hair trying to soothe me.
Her other hand squeezed my arm firmly but gently. "You've come so far, Angela. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, and your beauty shines from within."
"Beauty has never been my gift," I said, shaking my head. Understanding that no one would ever quite understand, even her. "More like a curse," I add bitterly.
"The beauty you hold inside is a gift. I see it every day. You work hard, you're loyal, and I don't trust my daughter with just anyone."
I couldn't help a giggle and small shake of my shoulders. "You know she's going to be a hellion," I say glad to have the focus off me.
"Yes, and her daddy's pride and joy," Lydia grinned. "She has him twisted around all ten of her chubby little fingers. You and I will keep her grounded while Raul and Damian spoil her rotten."
I loved that little munchkin and would continue loving her no matter how spoiled she became. "Thank you for taking care of me today, Mistress."
Her hand ran over my hair again. "Are you working at the club tonight?"
"Yes." Thank God. It grounded me much like a good session with Lydia.
"You need to keep busy but your entire life is not work," she chastised.
I cringed. "But Mistress-" I couldn't keep the fear from my voice- "I only have you, Abigail, and the club."
A sharp tug on my hair brought my head to the side so I looked directly into Lydia's eyes.
"You have so much more to give, little bird, but you're too afraid to fly. When you do, your wings will be glorious." Her lips met mine in a soft kiss.
She always knew what I needed and I had no doubt she loved me. It wasn't a sexual love or all-consuming passion like she had for her husband. But I never took the fact she cherished me for granted. I just wanted more. I wasn't really bi-sexual, though I joined other subs while playing with my Mistress's choice selection of doms. She carefully vetted anyone who worked with me, and preferred to provide the pain I needed to keep me grounded.
I felt her body shift and I sat up. She reached for her special concoction to massage into my back, ass, and upper legs. I would admire the fine lines left behind from her absolute precision with a whip once I was back in my room. I loved the look and the bite that lasted for a day or two after she worked a session with me. I had no problem acknowledging my need for controlled pain and a safe person to play with. I was toxic to myself and made the wrong decisions in relationships over and over. I wanted to be strong. I wanted so bad to feel in control, but it was always just out of my reach.
Mistress made sure I knew I would always be part of her family, but I dreamed of a family of my own someday. I wanted love from a man like the Mistress's husband, Damian. As horrible as it sounded, I fantasized about him loving me the way he loved her. I knew he would never look at me twice if she wasn't my mistress, and I had no illusions that he would want me. But I could dream, even if my dreams were just a tiny bit wicked.
The darkness had passed with each stroke of the whip, and I was able to shower in my suite and prepared myself for work with eagerness. I shaved and took special care of my body in case Mistress found someone for me to play with when my shift was over. She usually let me rest after a session- especially after a session followed by work- but a girl could hope. And I did.
The club was soothing. I never minded the moans and screams even when they were at their loudest. I understood how important the release was. I understood the need. I loved my job even though I knew it was Mistress protecting me from the outside world. She always protected me but sometimes she couldn't shield me from myself. Tonight though, the slight discomfort of the material on my back and thighs kept me in the right headspace. Tomorrow, I would visit my therapist for my weekly appointment and then it would be the weekend. The play at the club picked up on the weekends and though I wasn't scheduled to work, the intensity of my dedication to Mistress would get me through. Forget one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time was more my speed.
"Hey, Angela, can you work close to the bar tonight?"
"No problem, Kevin. I'm yours for the shift."
"Don't let Mistress Lydia hear you say that."
I laughed.
"I won't, but it's only Thursday. Are you expecting a larger than normal crowd?"
"Obviously you haven't heard. Krispin Righteous is staying at the hotel and he's expected to visit the club tonight."
"Krispin who?"
"Righteous, with Blood Rights."
My expression must have conveyed the confusion I felt.
"They're one of the hottest rock bands in the country!" Friendly but disbelieving sarcasm dripped from the words.
"The band sounds vaguely familiar," I lied, trying to cover my ignorance, "but the name Krispin doesn't ring a bell."
"If you're lucky, Mistress will let Mr. Righteous ring your bell."
"I think I'll stay away. I never do well with the famous ones."
"You could have your pick of the famous ones if you wanted."
"Yes, and it never ends well. Mistress does my choosing now, and she's a lot better at it than I am."
Everyone thought a beautiful face and body were a gift from God. I learned early on that they attracted the greatest evil. I wasn't looking forward to having Mr. Righteous in my sanctuary.
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