Chapter 28: Lydia
Once I'm in his desired position, he loops the neckties around my wrists and attaches them to the edges of the headboard. Now my ass is really in the air. I've never allowed a man to do this to me and I'm so damn ready.
"Spread your legs wider," he commands.
The bottom of the bed dips when I comply. I'm not expecting his tongue on my pussy, and it startles me. Damian pinches my ass. "Your job is to remain still while I enjoy this amazing pussy. If you come, I'll add to the punishment you have coming."
"Wha-" I try to ask but he stops with a stinging slap on my ass. His tongue and mouth go back to work driving me crazy. A few minutes later he adds his fingers and I almost go off. He reads me too well and backs away. The bed bounces slightly when he stands. I'm a quivering mess and not happy he's left me in this condition. I'm startled again when a bottle of lube lands in front of my face.
Damian's hand smooths down my back. "Your call, Lydia, but this is what I want. It's one of your hard limits and not one I'm happy about. I'll abide by your limits, but I need to know you want this entirely off the table."
I stare at the lube. "No, no limits," I groan.
He slides on a condom before picking up the lube to liberally squirt it on his cock. My nerves are keeping me from enjoying the sight of him rubbing his erection with the silky lube. He moves behind me and comes up over my back. He adds lube to his hand and slides a finger into my ass. It doesn't hurt and I know from working with my subs that I need to relax. I inhale and exhale deeply while Damian readies me. Two fingers are slightly uncomfortable. Damian uses his other hand to play with my clit. "You've got this, baby. Don't fight it."
He pulls his fingers out and the head of his cock pushes against me. The ache is almost unbearable and I come close to using my safe word. He pushes slowly past the nerves at my entrance and stops long enough for me to inhale deeply. With another push, Damian slides fully inside me, and I yell into the room. Damian's hand pushes against the center of my back so he has leverage to fuck my ass. He pushes in slow and pulls out just as slowly. The ache goes to a burn because I don't think I can hold back my pending orgasm.
"I'm going to come," I gasp.
"No, you'll wait for me." He increases his tempo and I can do nothing but absorb his domination as he takes his pleasure. I'm at the end of my endurance when he goes off. My cry joins his and I come undone.
Damian collapses on my back and removes the looped ties from my hands. We're still breathing hard when he leaves the bed and disposes of the condom. He's back immediately and wraps me in his arms facing him.
"You're my everything, baby," he whispers. I'm safe and no longer at a crossroads. I open my eyes and Damian is studying me. "You owe me a secret. That's what I want for the bet you lost."
He deserves my secrets. I want all of his. It takes a moment to gather my thoughts and I appreciate that he doesn't rush me. "I'm sure you know my father was a jockey." Damian nods. "He was short and thin. His size never took away from how tough he was when riding. I was so proud to be his daughter." I hesitate knowing this next part will be hard. "It would have been easier if my mom was alive while I was growing up. My dad hung out with other jockeys. Our world consisted of little people like my father. Next to them, I was a giant. My father told me he was attracted to my mother because of her lush curves, but I didn't really believe him. Sure, I had pictures of him and my mom but for some reason I only saw her beauty and never compared my body to hers. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a fat blob. Even the daughters of the rich horse owners were thin and gorgeous. My father died and my world turned upside down. I was seventeen and only because I had a decent job at the local horse track did child services stay off my back. I had no one to live for and I was so damn young."
Fuck. I've talked to multiple therapists about what I went through and this should be easier than it is. "I tried to starve myself to death and almost managed it. I finally collapsed and was hospitalized. I was diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia." I breathe slow and deep. Damian runs his hand over my thigh and I appreciate his compassion. "With the help of therapy, I found a balance and used exercise to keep my demons at bay." I need him to understand that I will always fight these demons much like an alcoholic fights theirs. "I'm borderline now. The kink world helps me with body image, but when I look in the mirror," I close my eyes and finish the sentence, "I still see the fat girl." I still can't look at Damian while saying the rest. "I use control as a Domme to control myself, not others. As long as I'm in charge, I can fight the need to eat and throw up or the need to stop eating." There, it's out. He knows I'm a fake and that the possibility is there for me to falter.
"Look at me, baby."
I open my eyes and Damian wipes the tears from my cheek. "You're a Domme because it's what's inside you. I've watched you. I watch the people who respond to you. That can't be faked and neither can your dominance." He smiles gently. "Not many people can stand up to me when I use the tools in my arsenal. You did. What we do here in the bedroom is between us and no one else. You can get your Domme on any time you choose. If you choose submission in here, I'll cherish every minute." He lifts my hand and kisses the backs of my fingers. "Love comes in all shapes, sizes, and kinks. My love is about what's inside here." He releases my hand and places his between my breasts. My heart beats against his palm and I exhale the breath I've been holding.
"I love you," I tell him.
"You kept me waiting," he teases.
"I didn't want to say it until you knew everything and decided to keep me."
His deep laugh fills the room. "You should know by now that I go after what I want. After the crazy chase you took me on I'm not letting you go."
"Do you want children?" I ask because his mother was so persistent.
He slides his hand down to my stomach. "I want a child here. I want to see you round with my baby and tease you when you think you're too fat. You never will be even if you're five times the size you are now. I love what's in here." His other hand goes to my forehead and he gently smooths his thumb across it. "I love what's in here." His other hand travels down until he's cupping my pussy. "My mother can wait. Don't let her pressure you. She'll back off if you're firm about doing this on our timetable. I have no problem waiting until you're ready. We have years to work out all the details for our life."
His kiss is gentle but he's still cupping my pussy. He slides a finger inside. It's me who turns the kiss in another direction. I need this man inside me again and judging by his erection against my hip, he wants the same thing.
There's something to be said about vanilla sex now and then. Damian shows me how much he loves me in a way as old as time. I'm gasping for air when I say, "Ten babies. That's my limit."
He laughs and kisses me again. I swear I would give this man anything he asked for when he's fucking me. "Is that a bet? If so, I want ground rules. I think I can do that in ten years, but if you need them faster, I'll do my best."
"You have your work cut out for you, Mr. Super Semen."
Our combined laughter fills the room. Our life together will never be boring.
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