Chapter 116: Angela
I stood during the last verse and then walked out of the lounge. He never stopped watching but he didn't follow. My heart wouldn't quit its frantic gallop as I made my way back to my rooms.
By the time I reached my door, my giddiness had turned into pain. Pain from the inside, needing to get out. I walked into the kitchen and looked at the butcher block filled with knives. My hands gripped the counter and I closed my eyes. I needed to scream but not here. It would bring hotel security running.
I was walking out the door again before I even realized it. The elevator opened into the low light of the club. Sydney stood behind the bar, but she was busy polishing glasses and didn't see me. I walked straight to the back rooms and opened the last door on the right. I closed the door behind me and walked into the bathroom. I turned the cold water on full blast in the walk-in shower and stood under the spray, clothes and all.
I screamed.
I don't know how long I stood under the water, but strong arms reached in and pulled me out. Two voices spoke soothingly to me as towels were wrapped around my shaking body.
It was Damian and Lydia. They both loved me and kept me safe from myself. I should be proud that I somehow managed to keep from hurting myself, but all I felt was numb.
The keening I heard was coming from me. My throat hurt and I knew I had to stop making noise.
"It's okay, baby. It's okay."
"I need to check her body, Damian. We need to remove her clothes."
I tried to shake my head but Damian held me too tightly. It felt wonderful but they were Lydia's husband's arms, and not the ones I wanted. They loosened and then removed the towels from my still-shivering body.
I barely felt the rest of my clothes coming off. Lydia kept talking to me in soothing tones. Right now she was just my friend. I didn't want to think about what would happen when she went into Domme mode. She would be so disappointed. Tears slid down my cheeks.
"We love you, Angela. We love you for what's on the inside. Your love for Abigail, your heart of gold, and the way you let Raul cheat at checkers and beat you every time. You're worthy of our love and we don't give it to just everyone."
I was picked up again and then placed within the fold of Lydia's arms, as she sat on the couch. This was the way it was after a scene, my favorite time. A blanket lowered over both of us, and a sigh escaped my throat as I snuggled closer against Lydia's warmth and comfort.
I finally opened my eyes. I knew Damian stood next to the couch but I wasn't expecting to see Krispin standing beside him. The pity in his eyes made me look away.
I managed to breathe in and then exhale. This was for the best. I didn't warrant a man like Krispin. The outside of me might be beautiful, but my insides were a mess. Even a bad boy didn't deserve the pitiful excuse for a woman that was the real me. No one did.
***
Krispin
I left the lounge and made my way to the penthouse. Lydia needed to hear me out. My palms were sweaty when I stood outside the ornate double doors trying to decide what I would say first. I raised my hand to knock but the door opened and Lydia stood looking at me.
"The cameras have been watching you for the past five minutes and now I'm worried. What's up?"
I heard a phone ringing in the background and Damian's deep voice answering. Suddenly his arms came around his wife and squeezed. She peered over her shoulder.
"It's Angela. She's in the back room at the club. It's not good."
Two pairs of unforgiving eyes looked at me. I had no idea what to say.
"I'll fucking kill you." I was surprised fire didn't spark from her eyes.
They both turned to the private elevator and I followed without an invitation. The ride down seemed to take forever as Lydia threw a torrent of violent words at me. None of my songs used the endless profanity she spewed my way. Damian held on to her, but I think it was more to keep himself from pummeling me than letting his wife loose to do the damage.
I had no idea what was wrong but it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out it was bad.
The club showed no outward sign that anything was wrong. I followed them both as they sped across the tiled floor to the private rooms.
A woman dressed in employee attire stood beside the last door wringing her hands. The closer we got to the door, the louder the muffled screams sounded.
In all my life, I never heard anything like those terrible sounds of pain. Suddenly I was afraid for them to open the door. Lydia was running now, bursting through the door, and rushing toward the origin of that endless scream. I followed and watched helplessly when they pulled Angela out of the running shower.
Damian held Angela while both of them continuously murmured words of endearment. I stepped back when he carried her from the small room. Nothing they said quite registered until Lydia wanted to look at her body.
My gut tightened. I'd seen it in rehab. Blood covering the walls from a young woman who managed to find a razorblade and cut deep gashes over seventy percent of her body before someone stopped her.
Much later, during group therapy, the girl explained that she was a "cutter" and that she wasn't trying to kill herself, only to relieve the pain. How much pain, I had thought then, did it take to make someone slice their body open? Now, I was looking at Angela and wanting to kill whoever had caused her so much suffering. I had no one to fight and could only watch helplessly while Damian and Lydia took care of her.
Finally, Lydia sat down. Damian lowered Angela into her arms and placed a blanket over the two of them.
Green eyes opened and looked around, stopping when they met mine.
Those beautiful eyes were full of desolation; no hope, or happiness. Just complete and utter despair. I needed a drink and a double shot wouldn't do the trick.
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